Part 24
The Four
Niki
Ever since I was born, I've been motherless. Yes I have a mom, but she's not a Clair Huxtable. She's not even the light skin Aunt Viv. She acts like a kid; like we're sisters. I love my mom, but she's impossible to respect. I've always gotten laughed at or talked about when people realize who my mom is. What makes it worse is that I look just like her. She's the perfect example of the type of woman I don't want to be.
When I first started messing with AJ it was chill. I wasn't expecting too much to come from it. We were just hanging out. I knew he was with Char, so I didn't want to put myself in a situation like that. But one night things got crazy. I got wasted with my bestie for her birthday and one drunk text led to another.
ME: what you tryna do?
AJ: wym ma?
ME: pull up
AJ: wya?
ME: Lexi's house
AJ: I gotta strap up?
ME: do what you want
He definitely did what he wanted to me and in me. When I felt that shoot in me, I was instantly sober. I pushed on the toilet for nearly an hour. I prayed. Not a regular "Jesus help me out" prayer but one of those prayers your big mama do. I mean on my knees crying.
"God if you get me out of this situation I promise I won't do it anymore. I'll be celibate Jesus. I'll do your work Jesus. Want me to go to church? I'll be there 10 mins early for every service. Want me to stop cussing? You got it my father! You want me to start paying my tithes? I don't know Jesus, but I'll try."
The next morning I practically ran to CVS. I took that pill like my life depended on it. Well I guess it did. My period came on a week later. Couldn't nobody tell me my God isn't real. That was about 6 months ago. I haven't gotten a period since so I just assumed the morning after pill threw my cycle off. I went to the doctor last week because my allergies have been killing me. The doctor told me I was pregnant. 24 weeks. I could've died right then and there. AJ was my first and my only. I am so embarrassed. And it's even worse because I found out my hoe for a mother has been messing with him too. When I found that out, I cut him off completely. But I had to tell him about this baby. It's too late to get rid of it and I can't take care of it on my own. To my surprise, he was so excited. He said he's always wanted to be a dad. I asked him how was he going to handle Char. He told me not to worry about her, and that he's going to step up and be a great father. I still haven't told anyone else. I'm too embarrassed. I was going to tell my TT Brittany, but now I'm too afraid to tell her now too. I have no one else. Just Aj, my unborn, and myself. Oh yeah and my Lord and Savior.