𝚝𝚎𝚗

Walking through the sunflower field is truly surreal. It's endless, going on for infinity. Even though I can't feel my own body, I'm happy to at least be able to feel the texture of the beautiful petals. The more I walk, the more I admire them. The silence around me is peaceful, the only noise I can hear is the wind whooshing around the field.

"Isn't it great?" A familiar deep voice startles me.

Turning around, I'm met with my brother. He's smiling at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Stop doing that." I let out a breath.

"Doing what?" He laughs.

"Popping up out of nowhere." I giggle while looking back at him.

"Sorry." He throws his hands up in defense. "Grayson's inside?"

"Yeah, he was having a rough day." I nod.

"I knew he would." He clears his throat. I turn away from the flowers to fully look at him, the sun is radiating off of his skin.

"Do you know what's going to happen to us?" I squint my eyes.

"No, because that's up to you." He gives me a crooked smile.

"Great." I roll my eyes and look back at the flowers.

"Let's take a walk." He motions down the dirt path in front of us.

Nodding my head, I begin to walk next to him. "This is unreal."

"What? That you can see me?"

"Yeah, are you kidding? I can actually hold a conversation with you. It's not possible."

"Clearly it is. This is what the afterlife is all about." He smiles while looking back at me.

"So, where's everyone else?" I curiously ask. "Like grandma and grandpa, are they in heaven with you?"

"Actual heaven, yes. Some people are even in hell." He shrugs.

"Wow." I gulp while glancing at him.

"This is your personal space with Grayson, it's just the two of you here."

I nod my head and keep walking, trying to wrap my head around this information.

"I'm so proud of you, Hope."

"For doing what, exactly?" I look down at the ground.

"For being a survivor, for waking up everyday even if it's hard." He lowers his voice, even though I'm not sure why. We're the only people here.

"So, you see everything?" I nervously ask him.

"Of course. Most of my time is spent watching over you. It's something heaven likes to call a guardian angel."

"And all of that is real?" I raise an eyebrow and look at him, still stunned he's right next to me.

"It is, mostly if you believe in it." He shrugs while glancing at me.

"Well, now I do." I tease with a low smile.

"God, I missed seeing your smile. It used to be my favorite sight, but now I never see it on you." He shakes his head in disappointment.

"Why are you so surprised? I feel depressed every single day of my life. I have for the last ten months, at least." I never thought I would be able to have this conversation with him, since his passing.

"I never wanted this for you." He says as we step closer to a hill.

We walk up and sit at the top, which is overlooking the entire space. I can see the cottage, the sunflower field, every aspect of the beautiful land around me.

"I never wanted this for you, either." I gulp and cross my numb legs together. "My twenty year old brother tragically died. How can anybody live like that?"

"When it first happened, and I was brought to heaven, I didn't want to accept it." He says while rubbing his lips together. "I thought it wasn't fair, that I had my entire life to live."

"Yeah, and you did. You were in college, trying to make a career for yourself. It wasn't fair at all." I go back at him.

"But I made peace with it, and so should you." His words slightly shock me.

"How can I make peace with it? Especially since everybody sweeps your death under the rug? Do you not see how mom and dad turned out?"

He closes his eyes for a moment, almost cringing at the mention of our parents. "Mom and dad love me, they always will."

"But they don't show it. They act like you never existed, like they never had an amazing son. They didn't cry at your funeral and they don't keep pictures of you around the house. It's disgusting."

I don't care if I'm bad mouthing my parents, it's the truth. Nobody cares that Hunter died, and that it wasn't some "accident" everyone claims.

"That's their way of grieving, you have your own coping mechanisms." He helplessly shrugs, knowing there's nothing else to do.

"I visit your grave everyday, they don't." I angrily point out, wishing I could feel my blood boil. "They think I'm depressed and sad for no reason."

"How do you feel now? Here?" He looks out into the distance.

"I don't feel depressed here. I feel peaceful and happy." I openly admit. I don't know if he's sad or happy to hear those words, the look on his face is worrying me.

"There's a purpose for you being here, maybe that's part of it." He says after a moment of silence.

I attempt to rub my lips together and inhale a deep breath. "Was it really an accident?"

He stays completely silent for a few seconds, trying to come up with an answer. "Not really, no."

"Not really and no aren't exactly the same thing." I say while scooting closer to him.

"The news wants to believe my death was all because I was clumsy and fell off the boat." His voice begins to shake.

"But that's not what happened, was it?" I push for an answer, desperately needing one.

"Why are we talking about my death? It happened so long ago." He lets out a breath.

"Because I know what happened that night, I know you guys were drinking. They made you out to be some kind of drunk."

My eyes focus on the trees around me as I think back to that night. Well, what happened before everything went to shit. We were having a family barbecue, and I thought it would be a fun, innocent night.

"Yo, how many hot dogs can you eat?" Chase laughs while recording Dave with his phone, who is stuffing his face with food.

"I don't know, but we can find out." Dave laughs, his brown eyes filling with challenge.

"You guys are so weird." Kyle rolls his eyes while running a hand through his jet black hair.

"I think it's funny." I giggle while keeping my eyes on Chase. I try to get over this crush on him, but nothing works. He's so cute.

Hunter catches me staring and shakes his head. "Maybe you shouldn't be so obvious, Hope."

"Shhh." I whisper, hoping his friends don't hear him.

"Just go talk to him." Hunter rolls his eyes.

"I'm trying." I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Do you boys need anything?" My mother walks over to us with a laugh.

"No, Mrs. Myers, we're good." Chase chuckles while Dave swallows his food.

"Actually, I'll take another hot dog." He says with his mouth full.

"Okay, coming right up." She shakes her head at their behavior and walks away.

"I'll go get you a napkin." Chase says while jogging over to the table we have set up in our backyard.

"Go talk to him." Hunter pushes me in his direction.

I awkwardly clear my throat and step closer to the boy. "Dave is so crazy."

He turns to look at me while grabbing the napkins. "I know, who can eat that many hotdogs?"

"Clearly him." I lightly laugh, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

He shakes his head before walking away from the table. Ugh, of course. I clear my throat and walk toward them, but stop a few feet away.

"This barbecue is lame. I say we get out of here, take the boat out." Kyle smirks while patting Hunter's chest.

"Yo, that's an awesome idea. Would your parents be cool with it?" Dave asks while turning to my brother.

"Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't care." Hunter shrugs.

"Awesome, I'll get some drinks." Kyle smirks.

"Invite the girls, including Aubrey." Chase says while looking at Hunter. "Maybe my boy over here will finally make his move."

"Yeah, I'll text her." Hunter says with a shy smile. Kyle looks annoyed by his words, which I take notice of.

"We should get out of here soon." Dave encourages.

"Yeah, I'll make a few calls." Kyle says with a flat tone.

Hunter makes eye contact with me and I watch him come closer to where I'm standing. "The guys and I are going to take Kyle's boat out. You're okay if I leave, right?"

"Of course, go have fun." I say with a smile.

"All right, cool. You're the best little sister ever." He says while walking away from me.

"We got a call that night saying there was an accident. That you slipped and fell off the boat. Then the police proceeded to tell us that you drowned." I muster up the courage to say.

"That's true." He doesn't look me in the eyes while saying this.

"Not all of it." I whisper while keeping my stare on him. "Kyle didn't attend your funeral. Your friends practically disappeared after it happened. Nobody jumped in the water to save you."

"Fine, you want to know the truth? What really happened to me?" He says while looking at me.

"Yes, I do. It's almost been a year and nothing is resolved." I speak up.

"We all got drunk and Kyle tried to kiss Aubrey. That's how it started." His low voice finally begins to tell the story.

-

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚘𝚟:

Hunter takes another sip of his beer, looking out into the darkness that surrounds him. Being in the middle of the ocean is the weirdest feeling. The only lights around him are radiating from his friends cell phones.

"What are you doing?" Aubrey's soft voice giggles.

Hunter snaps his head in the direction of the sound. His face completely dropping the minute he sees Kyle standing inches away from her face. He's leaning his body into hers, his large hands are gripping her waist.

"You know what I'm doing." Kyle slurs while pressing his lips to her neck.

"No, stop." Aubrey shakes her head.

Hunter's eyes burn with anger, and a hint of jealousy. He hates seeing Kyle so close to his crush, especially in this state of mind.

"Hey, knock it off." His voice comes out strong as he walks closer to them.

Kyle clenches his jaw and turns around to face his friend. "Chill out, dude. We're just talking."

"Give her some damn space." Hunter demands.

Kyle glares at him, hating that he interrupted his big moment. Little did Hunter know that Kyle has always had a thing for the beautiful black haired girl.

"You don't own her, Hunter. Stop obsessing over her for five seconds."

"Guys, just stop." Dave rolls his eyes, knowing a fight is brewing between them.

"Yeah, we're here to have a good time." Chase comments while taking another sip from his beer.

"Just back off from her." Hunter says.

"Fuck you, man. She's not yours so shut the fuck up." Kyle steps closer to Hunter, allowing the boy to take a step back in the small space.

"What, you like her too now?" Hunter rolls his eyes, hating the thought.

"Maybe I always did. Maybe I liked her first, until Hunter Myers got in the way. Just like always." Kyle's voice is laced with anger as he takes another step closer to him.

Hunter was always the man of the hour, the one with slightly more popularity. Kyle envied that.

"Can we head back now? I'm getting sea sick." Aubrey crosses her arms over her chest, wanting them to stop arguing.

"Yeah, lets just go." Chase agrees.

Hunter goes to move, but Kyle blocks his view. His muscular body is in the way, and Hunter tries to push past.

"Fucking move." Hunter says, a little too harshly.

"How about you fucking move." Kyle says while lifting his hands up and forcefully pushing Hunter's shoulders back.

The floor is soaking wet, and Hunter immediately falls backwards into the rough water. The loud sound of his head cracking on the edge of the boat is perfectly heard as everyone gasps.

"Hunter!" Aubrey screams while rushing toward the edge of the boat.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Dave's eyes widen as he watches the waves swallow his friend whole.

"We need to help him, he's drowning!" Chase screams while going to jump in. "You pushed him, man!"

Kyle comes to the scary realization that his friend is unconscious, being pulled away by the tide. And it's all his fault.

"It was an accident. He slipped." Kyle says while turning to look at his scared group of friends.

"We need to call an ambulance." Aubrey sobs.

"Okay, but he slipped. He was drinking too much and accidentally fell off, got it?" Kyle makes it very clear that if anyone rats him out, it will not end well.

Dave looks into the darkness, not being able to see anything except the rough current of the waves crashing around them. "You pushed him and you know it."

"I didn't mean to, do you want to go to jail for underage drinking?" Kyle snaps.

"Try going to jail for murder." Chase looks at him with pure disgust.

"Nobody says a word to the cops, okay?" He makes it very clear.

The rest of them stay silent as they try to search for Hunter's body in the water. But it's no use, the boy already drowned.

-

I wish my body wasn't numb in this moment. I wish I could feel my heart cracking, feel my lungs collapsing.

I wish tears could fall from my eyes, but of course none of that can happen. I'm forced to feel peace no matter what, that's the worst part about being in my own heaven.

"He killed you." I whisper.

"He didn't mean to." Hunter shakes his head.

"But he pushed you off the boat. You hit your head, fell unconscious, and drowned." I state the hurtful truth.

"Everyone thought it was an accident, and it was, but that one little part was missing from the story." Hunter's voice cracks as he looks back at me.

"I want to cry." I say.

"You can't, Hope." He whispers, understanding my frustration.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." I'm at a loss of words.

"I'm okay now." He reassures me.

"The doesn't make it better. God, I can't believe this." I angrily mutter.

"Maybe you should go back to the cottage, see Grayson." His voice lowers as he looks at me.

"What is seeing Grayson going to do?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Just go see him." My brother advises, before disappearing into thin air.