CHAPTER 14- LET'S SNAP TODAY~ Ayesha💕

A Y E S H A :-

It's been seven weeks since my walimah and

life was pretty much going in the same circles for me,

Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.

I was caught in a whirlpool, where I had to force my mom and brother to believe I am happy and my husband that I don't care, but it's really the opposite.

It's been a month, nearly two and I am getting tired of it, sometimes all I want is to say a piece of mind to Farhan and go back to my parents house, but then again when I go back, that will cause nothing but more trouble and worry to my mom and brother and my father would have the mouth to say that girls like me can't stay at one place.

So to avoid all of it, here I am.

Someone truly said, A woman's life is truly full of sacrifices, even if she doesn't wants too, something or the other thing demands foregoing.

"Ayesha beta pass me that shawl," My head jerked up at the voice of my mother in law,

"Yes, of course mama," I passed her cream colour shawl which she folded neatly and kept in her suitcase.

"Mama?" I called her to which she gave a soft Hm "Is it not possible for you all to stay with us a little longer?"

She zipped her suitcase and looked up at me,

"Even if we stay, one day we have to leave Ayesha."

"Besides it's now time for you both to start your new life together."

"Still..." I mused, "I am used to you guys."

She laughed softly patting my cheek, "We are just going back to Istanbul, it's hardly an two hour flight, you can come to our place and we will be here on holidays."

"Mama... actually," I bit my lip.

"What is it?" She urged,

"I actually never lived alone.....before being married I used to be with Murat and mom all the time and after my marriage I never felt alone because of you, baba jaan and Mina. And now all of a sudden you are leaving...." I blinked back my tears.

"Oh Ayesha, come here," she made me sit beside her on the bed and grasped my hand in hers.

"Listen beta, in our life, we all have a understanding and comfort of seeing the same people around us all the time, and we cannot live without them no matter what, but you can't succeed in your life sitting in your house with the same people, you have to explore, you have to take new decisions, new relations, what scares you the most is you being left alone, isn't it?"

I nod, "You are never alone my love, you have your husband now, what made you think he will make you feel alone?"

"It's all new mama, that's it."

"I understand where you are coming from, your feelings as a new bride is valid. But remember always, to overcome the fear you have to face it."

I felt the force of her words impending on me, I am not avoiding anything am I?

Shaking the weird feeling I gave her nod and she pulled me to her for a warm embrace.

"I will just go and check dinner preparations." She nods unsurely but let's me leave her room.

If there was a space between the time of drama with imran and now I would've hid in it and never come back.

Wanting to condense my inner turmoil I entered the kitchen to look for anything I could do which could help me take things out my mind,

But I was left restless seeing all the food was already prepared by the cook and kept in the oven. My eyes felt on the empty salad plate and so quickly I took out some tomatoes, cucumbers and radish from the fridge.

Grabbing a knife from the stand I started chopping some tomatoes, lost in thoughts. Cooking was always so therapeutic for me, it was a way for me take out my stress and anger and my mother didn't mind one bit, seeing I was so helpful for her in the kitchen. Win- win situation.

Lost in my thoughts I was chopping some radish when I came back to my senses as I noticed my index finger burning and the white radish staining with red drops, great I cut my finger.

I applied pressure with my other hand on the cut in hope to stop the bleeding but it was vain when it still kept bleeding.

I turned on the tap and was about wash my finger when I yelped hearing someone speak,

"What happened to your hand?"

I snapped my head at the voice, noticing my husband lurking at the door frame of the kitchen,

"Nothing." I replied curtly, my heart thumping wildly.

He took silent steps towards and tipped his chin at my finger which was bleeding down in the sink,

"There's blood." Okay captain obvious.

"Yeah there is, nothing too serious." I brought my hand under the tap and washed my bleeding finger under it, watching the water wash away the blood which kept oozing out.

"Seems like it. get over it, there are many things in this world to worry about." He shrugs turning his back and walking away,

As if there was some non- existing barriers around me, at that moment they snapped, broke free,

"Yeah easy for someone heartless like you to say."

His steps faltered and stood rooted to his spot, slowly looking over his shoulder he asks,

"Were you talking to me?"

I scoffed, "Well the only the thing offending me right now is you, so yeah I pretty much am talking to you."

He turns towards me and raises an eyebrow, The Audacity. "What's with that attitude?"

"What's with yours?" I snap back,

He clearly looks taken aback by my tone, "Okay it's getting out of hand right now, what did I even do to you?"

"What did you..." I falter out and brace myself as I speak my thoughts, "You want me count it to you?"

He bows down mockingly, "Do the honours."

"I am pretty sure I made it clear to you that I do not expect anything from you then why the drama?"

I stepped towards him closing off the tap,

"First of all, you took away my rights of being a wife, you straight up told me on the first day of our wedding that I have no place in your life, I don't have place in that person's life for whom I have left my everything behind, to whom my parents handed out to keep me for life, but how do I explain them that this person wants nothing from me, he does not wants to see me, talk to me, heck he does not even want my presence near him, and you ask me why am I creating a drama about it?" My nose started to tingle and I blinked back my tears.

"You kind of agreed with me back then." He countered.

"I did, I agree I did, but it's just matter of time, I am only human, I have feelings too, even I want to gush about my husband to my friends rather than staying quiet when they ask 'hey how is life after marriage?' And I have nothing to say because that's what my life is after marriage, nothing?" I wiped away the stray tear from my face, his eyes tracing my movement.

"I have no idea what happened with you to be like this, you said you don't love somebody else nor were you forced in this marriage, then what's your problem? Is it me? You don't like my presence? Or am I not accurate for your standards? Give me a margin of being human." I turned around facing the sink and wiped away my tears which couldn't stop.

"Marriages are never easy, you have to take steps and cross certain boundaries, that's how it works, but you are not even willing to do that, you just straight up had this one thing in your mind that you don't want anyone new in your life, not only you got a new person in your life but also me, give yourself and me margin to be human, it isn't hard you know. It is difficult but not impossible."

I turned my head to look at him, "We can't live our whole life playing this game, pretending and hiding, just say what you want, do you want to improve this relation or..." I swallow the gravel in my throat, "Or do you want to end it?"

I searched his face for any kind grimace or impact of words but yet again my heart was left shattered as he turned without sparing any glance, his retreating footsteps proved that my words could never be taken seriously by him, they are useless, just like my existence.

I slapped a hand on my mouth as a sob threatened to break out, taking a few calming breaths I wiped away my tears and hold my head in my hands, chanting in my head what I've been from the past month,

No no breakdowns. You are not going to cry, you are stronger than that, he doesn't deserves your tears.

Bandaging my finger after finding a first aid box under the drawer of the sink, I threw away the stained radish and chopped some new ones and arranged them along with cucumbers and tomatoes in the salad bowl and placed it on the table,

Before anyone could catch a sight of my face, I ran to my room and washed my face, and again practiced to smile in the mirror and forced my tears away,

"Smile." I say to my reflection after washing my face.

Only more tears left my eyes as I failed to smile.

"Smile. It isn't difficult for you." I force my facial muscles to lift up in a smile, "You are doing this for a month, you should get used to it."

I banged my fist on the wall as tears kept rolling down and I couldn't smile anymore.

What is different about today? Wasn't I immune to his behaviour? Then why the tears today?

Forcing myself up I lifted my face upto the mirror and patted it few times and washed again.

Don't think, remember don't think about him. Don't think about anything.

Composing myself I went downstairs joined everyone for dinner, I kept my eyes on my plate the whole time through out the dinner and occasionally chatted with everyone except him.

"Why is your nose red bhabhi?" Mina asks squinting her eyes at me,

On instinct I grabbed my nose and blurted out,

"Allergy season."

Her face drops in understanding, "You have winter allergies too? I hate them so much, damn winters." She grumbles aggressively chewing down the slice of cucumber.

"Yeah hate em." I mumble.

After dinner I went with Mina to her room to help her pack her things because she was panicking for procrastinating.

Mina takes out some bunch of her dresses out of her wardrobe and threw it at the bed, sighing loudly she starts folding them along with me,

"Daily chaos from tomorrow." Mina sighs.

"Chaos." I mumble.

"I was so excited for bhai's wedding I was planning it for the past six months when mama told she is starting bride hunting for bhai, then we found you, came here, did the wedding and now," her shoulders sag down, "it's over and we are going."

"You were planning from six months?" I raise an eyebrow folding a leggings and placing it neatly inside her suitcase.

"Yes." Her face lights up, "It was my brother's wedding how could I not?"

My hands pause while folding her jacket as I eyed her, Farhan's sister had so many ambitions for his wedding, everyone wanted that except him.

"So you are joining College next month?" I shook my head changing the topic,

"Yes I am, joining Fall college was the best decision. I mean look at it, I enjoyed my brother's wedding although I already missed few classes. But meh nothing I couldn't handle. And what important I could've missed? Shakespeare's love life?"

I chuckled, "Well technically you have to write exam on his love life."

"Oh yes, the joyous of literature student, no mitochondria or trigonometry just some people's heartbreaks stories."

"Careful you almost sounded poetic over there."

"It isn't poetry without the words thee, thy and thou in it for me." Mina brings her palm to her forehead and sighs dramatically.

"Okay now quit with the sighing Bella swan." I shove her shoulder before filling up her suitcase and zipping it up.

Mina gasps reaching for my hand, "You read twilight?"

I nod, "In school, yeah couldn't get past one book because she kept sighing, no offence but that irritated me."

"None taken but I have shamelessly read all the books, back then it used to be my guilty pleasure but movies changed my mind."

"Honestly, I prefer books rather than their movie adaptations."

Mina drops the shirt in her hand on the ground and looks at me with a solemn expression which makes me raise an eyebrow,

She spreads her arms wide, "I have found my soulmate." Then she tackles me in a hug, I almost stumble back by the force but then returned her hug laughing along with her.

"I gonna miss my new found soulmate." I ruffle her hair,

"Me too, bhabhz me too." She sighs but abruptly looks at me and we share a laugh, breaking from the hug she bends to pick the shirt on the ground and places in her suitcase,

"But you know, I am really happy my brother got someone like you."

I snap my eyes at her, "What makes you say that?"

"Because you are amazing and read books like me." She chuckles, "But on a serious note, you really are an amazing person for my brother, I know my brother is not that  for you yet, but selfishly I love you for him."

I blink at her response, "I still don't get you."

She contemplates before continuing, "Bhabhi, my brother wasn't always like this you know, he used to live for himself but time made him like this, he doesn't live anymore, he just......exists."

"He is difficult, I understand, but is it too much for me to ask to give him some time? He doesn't open up easily, but when he does I promise he will love you fiercely."

I licked my dry lips, "Mina I-"

"You really thought I didn't notice your face at dinner? That was clearly not allergies, you cried didn't you?"

I laugh awkwardly, "No...no."

"Bhabhi..," she grabs my fumbling hands, "I am sorry for whatever my brother said to you, but just trust me give him a chance," her eyes tear up, "He's been through a lot. And everything made him like this, in a shell, closed off, he is not heartless, he has the most biggest hearts. You just have to be patient."

I blink back my tears as I forced myself to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

"I am not manipulating you, I believe in you to keep him in place if pulls some shit, you are the type of woman who knows how to love endlessly and doesn't hesitate to show one's place."

I nod wordlessly and changed the subject before it got too heavy, "For someone a new found soulmate you sure have a lot of trust in me." I wiped the corner of my eye.

"Oh believe me," she chuckles wiping under her eye, "No one knows that better than me."

"Just brought up my book knowledge you know, I am not really this smart."

"I believe in you."

"Thanks." She pauses, "Was that a compliment?"

I shrugged and continued packing with her, my mind spiralling with thousands of thoughts.

An hour and lot's of gossip later I finally left Mina's room and went downstairs in the kitchen to make some tea for myself, I don't know weather is it psychologically satisfying for me or it really cures an headache, but whatever it is I love it. No one was present downstairs, seeing the time, mama and baba were already asleep and I don't know about the other person.

A smile tugged on my lips while pouring the tea in my cup remembering how my brother used to tease me about being tea addict and how tea flows in my veins instead of blood, well it is what it is.

Taking my tea cup I went upstairs to my room and opened the balcony door, sitting down on the artificial tiles cover I sipped my tea watching the beautiful night sky of the Ankara city.

I was done with my tea and was still busy gazing the night sky when I heard the door to my room open, knowing who it would I paid no attention and brought my knees upto my chest, lost in my thoughts.

When it was starting to get cold, I decided to head back inside, picking up my empty tea cup I exited the balcony and softly closed the door behind me.

Farhan was sleeping soundly by the time for a moment I gazed his sleeping face, I notice few harsh lines near his forehead, his lips pinched together and eyebrows furrowed as if he was agitated, even in his sleep.

I remembered Mina's words of him seeing a lot of hardships, for a second, just a second, I almost pity him but then again whatever his problems might be I don't deserve to be treated like this.

Shaking my head I moved my eyes from him and was about to head out when something on the dressing table caught my attention. Keeping my empty tea cup on the coffee table, I walked towards the dressing table and picked up the tiny bunch of purple hyacinths,

Frowning I picked it up and looked for a tag on it, finding one I opened only to frown to see it's written in turkish, I grabbed my phone the nightstand and came back to the dressing table again and google translated those words on the card,

May you have a fresh start in your life, just like these hyacinths.

I raised an eyebrow. Oh-Kay, who's is it? Was this for me? No maybe it's for someone else, better leave it. I kept those flowers back in place and took a step back.

I swear for a brief moment I caught the reflection of Farhan looking at me from bed, when I turned around he was asleep, was I hallucinating?

Maybe it was just a long day? And I am really tired? This might be a dream, these flowers might not even be there the next morning, guess I am too sleep- deprived.

Sniffing those hyacinths one last time I went to my side of the bed and laid down, shutting down all of thoughts and let my exhaustion seep in making me disconnect from this world, an hazel eyed man and and given by him hyacinths.

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A/N :- [EDIT]

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