Chapter 19
Help Me, Alpha
HAYLEY
Iâm standing in front of a door that feels like itâs the gateway to a new life. Part of me is hesitant to step through.
Part of me wants to bolt, because if they knew the real me, the things Iâve done, theyâd hate me. Despise me. Maybe even kill me.
Iâm doing this for Jax. I keep repeating it to myself.
For Jax. The one Iâ¦cherish.
Everyoneâs expecting me, so there wonât be any surprises. Thatâs a relief. A surprise entrance would have been even more nerve-wracking.
Jax made sure they knew I was coming, but he asked them not to pry. He didnât tell them that part, though. Thatâs our secret.
A large, warm hand envelops mine, pulling my attention upward.
I look up at Axton, and itâs only then that I notice my hands are trembling.
âDonât cry, Hay,â he says, and I realize that tears are streaming down my face. Axton gently wipes them away.
âYou donât have to do this, you know. You donât have to prove anything. Jax will love you no matter what,â Axton says with sincerity.
Love.
Jax loves me?
âL-love,â I stutter.
âIsnât it obvious? Heâs head over heels for you.â
How could someone like Jax love me? Iâm a nobody. But out of all the women in the world, he loves me.
Out of all the female warriors in this pack, who are capable of so much more than I am, he chooses me.
He loves me.
Iâve never been loved before. Not even a little bit. Maybe thatâs why love feels so strange to me. Itâs a weird feeling. But a good kind of weird.
A huge, goofy smile spreads across my face.
Axton brings me back to reality when he says, âJust be yourself and youâll be fine.â
âThank you, Ax,â I say, meaning it. I give his hand a squeeze.
We ascend the few steps to the double doors, and I let Axton lead the way.
He opens the door wide enough for both of us to enter. Thereâs no need to knockâthey probably already know weâre here.
I walk into a room full of women, all of them studying me. Judging me. Deciding if Iâm worthy of being their luna. Little do they know I wonât be here long enough for that to matter.
Fear seizes me again. I feel like Iâm choking. I canât find the words to speak, I just stare at the twelve women in front of me.
Axton senses my discomfort and quickly steps in front of me, shielding me from their scrutiny with his broad frame.
Axtonâs deep eyes meet mine and he murmurs, âYou donât have to do this.â
When I donât respond, he reminds me to, âBreathe.â
I take a deep breath, clearing my foggy mind.
âIâve got you. Youâre safe... Iâm gonna mind-link Jax and tell him weâre going home.â
I grab his shirt and shake my head. âNo, no, I can do this... just breathe.â I remind myself.
For Jax.
I know they can hear our conversation, but thereâs nothing I can do about it. Iâll just have to deal with the embarrassment.
I look up at Axton and nod, signaling that Iâm ready. He reluctantly steps aside.
I put on a shy smile and give a small wave.
All of the women are stunning. They could all be models. As I look at each of them, I recognize one of them. Rose. Lilyâs babysitter. I give her a bigger smile, but she just stares back coldly.
Maybe she doesnât recognize me.
But then, in an instant, sheâs grinning from ear to ear and bounding over to me, shouting, âHayley! Fancy seeing you here!â
She gives me a hug thatâs a little too tight. Maybe Iâm just too fragile.
I keep my arms at my sides and look to Axton for answers. He just shrugs, looking as confused as I feel.
She pulls back and turns to the other women. âEveryone, this is Hayley.â
The women all stand and come over to me. My heart pounds in my chest and my palms start to sweat. I look to Axton for reassurance. He gives me an encouraging nod.
One by one, the women kiss both of my cheeks and hug me, showing respect for their luna.
Iâm taken aback. They all respect me, and I havenât even said a word. Did Jax tell them to do that?
No, thatâs not like him. Heâd want me to earn their respect, not have it handed to me.
So if they werenât told to respect me, then they truly do.
Warm smiles light up the womenâs faces, and mine too. Rose stands at the back of the group, her face expressionless.
I finally take in the rest of the room. There are flowers everywhere, filling the air with their scent.
A water cooler stands in one corner, next to a table laden with drinks and snacks. Doors line the walls, leading to who knows where.
A large coffee table sits in the middle of the seating area, surrounded by sofas and chairs.
A TV is mounted on one wall, playing softly in the background.
âCome, come. Come sit down!â A radiant woman with brown hair says. Sheâs practically glowing with happiness.
We all take our seats. They return to their previous spots, and I choose a comfortable armchair.
Axton drags a chair over to sit next to me, ready to protect me if necessary.
âLetâs get to know each other,â the brunette woman suggests. She seems to be the one calling the shots, but I canât be certain.
Her name is Isabella. The other women are Tiffany, Julie, Alexia, Aria, Rachel, Layla, Helen, Violet, Emilia, Willow, and of course, Rose.
I try to appear relaxed, but itâs a struggle. Isabella kicks off the conversation on a light note.
âSo, Luna, how are you doing? Are you settling in okay?â she asks, her tone warm and inviting.
Luna.
She called me Luna.
A wave of guilt washes over me. I canât be their Luna. Iâm not strong enough to lead them. Iâm not brave. They expect me to protect them, but I canât even protect myself.
Iâve failed at my role before Iâve even begun. They need a strong, confident woman who has her wolf. A woman who isnât me.
I glance at the other women who are watching me with anticipation, all except Rose.
Sheâs engrossed in a strange device in her hands that she keeps tapping.
Iâve seen Jax and Axton with something similar, but Iâm not sure what it is. Iâll have to ask them.
âIâve been good⦠Jax and Axton have been⦠really helpful?â I look at Axton for confirmation.
He doesnât look at me, as heâs supposed to be uninvolved, but he gives a subtle nod that only I can see. A small smile tugs at my lips.
I turn back to Isabella as she continues, âAlpha has only spoken highly of you. He told us some time ago that you were his mate.
âI think I speak for all of us when I say weâre glad that Alpha has finally found his mate. He used to rarely smile, but lately, heâs been grinning from ear to ear!
âHe did mention that it would take you some time to become Luna, but thatâs okay. Just your presence on the pack grounds makes everyone feel a bit better, and that makes a difference.
âSo if you donât feel ready for the Luna duties, thatâs perfectly fine. Youâre helping us just by being here. It means a lot to all of us.â
I canât stop smiling as she speaks. Her words are so kind.
She may not realize the impact of her words, but knowing that the pack accepts me makes me feel less self-loathing.
If these strangers can accept me, why canât I?
I feel at ease talking with Isabella. Sheâs grounded and has a calming presence. Sheâs the kind of person I can handle being around.
Sheâs the person Iâve trusted the quickest, and itâs no surprise given her gentle nature.
Iâve been hurt by men, but Iâve also been let down by women who did nothing to help me, so Iâm cautious around both genders. But with Isabella, I feel safe.
She has short brown hair tucked behind her ears. Bright blue eyes light up her face, and a constant smile graces her lips.
She appears to be around thirty, but with werewolf genes, she could be older. I hope I look like her when Iâm older. Sheâs stunning.
We continue our easygoing conversation, and I seem to get along with everyone. Iâve spoken to all the women individually, and theyâve all been very welcoming.
Suddenly, Rose asks, âSo why donât you want to do your Luna duties? What happened to you before you came to Midnight Rose Pack?â
I freeze.
Silence fills the room.
Everyone exchanges glances before their eyes land on me. I lower my gaze to my lap, too embarrassed to meet anyoneâs eyes.
Axton, sitting next to me, starts to growl as he senses my discomfort. Iâm not sure if he knows about my past, or if heâs just protecting his Luna.
Why would she ask such a question? I donât think Iâve ever been rude to her. I thought she liked me.
Thankfully, Isabella diverts the awkwardness by asking, âAnyone up for some tea? Iâve got cookies.â Isabella to the rescue. My hero.
Before any of us can respond, a loud bang echoes from the doorway, and someone comes storming inâ¦