Chapter 9

HAYLEY

I try to focus on the movie, but my mind is elsewhere. I’m wrestling with the idea of trusting Jax.

His words were so sincere, so comforting. I felt like he meant them, like he wouldn’t hurt me. A strange sensation settles in my chest. Safety. I feel safe with him. Maybe I could confide in him.

But what if he doesn’t understand? What if he doesn’t see my side of things? Could I endure more years of torment, especially from my mate? I’m at war with myself.

The movie ends, but I’m still staring blankly at the screen, unsure of what to do next. Thankfully, Jax breaks the silence.

“Hayley, Tom is on his way here. It’s just a quick check-up, nothing too intense, so don’t worry. Later today, you’ll have your first counseling session.

“It’ll be here, in the pack house, so you won’t have to go anywhere.”

I turn to him, nod, and say, “Okay.”

Five minutes later, a knock echoes through the pack house. “Coming,” Jax calls out, his voice filled with authority. He opens the door and welcomes Tom inside.

I’m still curled up on the couch as Tom cautiously takes a seat next to me. He places his briefcase against the chair.

Jax returns to his spot—behind me, his arm resting on the back of the couch.

“So, Hayley, how have you been?” he asks.

I reply shyly, “Good,” and look to Jax for support. He takes my hand, instantly calming me. I turn my attention back to Tom, not wanting to seem impolite.

Tom glances at our intertwined hands and gives a small smile.

“That’s great. I’m just going to check your heart and examine your injuries, just to make sure everything is okay. Is that alright?”

I nod, and Tom reaches for his briefcase, presumably filled with his medical equipment.

I grip Jax’s hand tightly when Tom gets too close, but I relax when Jax starts rubbing his thumb against my hand, distracting me from what Tom is doing.

Once he’s done, he steps back and says, “Everything seems the same. There’s nothing to worry about unless things start to get worse, but hopefully, it won’t come to that.

“If anything does worsen, Alpha, mind link me immediately and I’ll check it out. Have you eaten anything yet or…” he trails off.

Jax fills Tom in on what I’ve eaten and drunk today. I sit quietly, just listening. Tom senses my discomfort and quickly wraps up any remaining questions he has for Jax.

“That’s all I need for today. I’ll be back tomorrow for another check-up,” he says as he heads for the door. Jax walks him out and thanks him.

Jax returns with several shopping bags. “I asked a pack member to get you some clothes. I thought you might want your own. Want to come see them?” Jax asks.

“Thank you...clothes...mate,” I respond. He grins at me. I stand, walk over to him, and reach to help with the bags, but he pulls away and says, “I’ve got them,” then gently nudges me to go upstairs.

We head to his bedroom and I close the door behind us. He leads me into the walk-in closet and sets the bag on the floor.

He guides me to sit on the stool in the middle of the room, then explains all of the clothes and how to wear them, even my bra and panties, which makes me blush.

He chuckles, sending butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Jax puts all the clothes away but leaves out a pair of mom jeans, a grey T-shirt, a nude bra, a pair of black panties, and some laceless trainers, which are size five. He leaves the closet while I change.

I stare at myself in the mirror. Wearing all these clothes feels strange. I’m used to just a T-shirt; now I’m in jeans. It’s uncomfortable but nice at the same time.

I walk out to find Jax sitting at the end of his bed, elbows resting on his knees.

He looks me up and down and smiles warmly. “You look beautiful, Hayley,” he says, walking toward me.

I look down, blushing.

He lifts my chin with one finger.

He looks me in the eyes and says, “Don’t look down, mate. You’re beautiful, and you should know it,” he continues, “Even though I love your blush, you shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

Not knowing how to respond to his sweet words, Jax changes the subject.

“Come on, let’s brush our teeth.” He takes my hand and leads me into the bathroom. “I also asked for a toothbrush and a loofah for you.”

“Thank you,” I say, looking into his eyes.

He takes the toothbrush out of its packet and hands it to me. He grabs his own and some toothpaste. Then, he squeezes a small amount onto my brush and does the same on his.

After, he puts the toothpaste back in the holder and wets his toothbrush. I mimic him and wait to see what to do next.

He puts the toothbrush in his mouth and starts brushing in circular motions. I follow his lead, but my hand starts to hurt from being held up for so long.

Jax rinses his mouth and puts his toothbrush back in the holder. He gently takes the toothbrush from my hand and starts brushing my teeth.

My heart swells as I watch him, causing drool and toothpaste to dribble onto my chin. He grins at me and I feel…complete.

Once he’s done brushing my teeth, he steps back and I rinse my mouth in the sink. I turn to him and show him my teeth by opening my mouth wide.

“Cute,” he murmurs, and laughs heartily. I look at him, head tilted in confusion.

Our moment is interrupted when his eyes glaze over. I remember that means he’s mind linking someone.

Jax’s eyes clear after a moment. “The counselor’s here.” He takes my hand and guides me downstairs.

I hang back at the foot of the stairs as Jax opens the door to welcome the counselor. He’s got short, messy dark hair, a brown stubble, and blue eyes.

He’s dressed in a light blue shirt and unusual charcoal pants, paired with brown shoes. He seems a bit short standing next to Jax. He introduces himself as Basil, which seems oddly fitting.

A wave of panic washes over me as I realize I’ll have to spill my secrets to him. I can’t do that! He’ll kill me! I quickly devise a plan to reveal nothing about my past, except that I used to be a wolf.

I’ll tell him that one day I woke up and she was gone, never to return. It’s not entirely a lie, I suppose. That shouldn’t cause any harm. I’ll claim I can’t remember anything else due to memory loss.

Whether he’ll believe me or not, I don’t know, but I can’t tell him. I don’t trust him.

“Hayley, are you ready for our first session?” Basil asks. I nod in response, and he leads the way to his office.

I follow him, with Jax trailing behind me, our hands intertwined.

Basil unlocks his office and we all step inside. The room is spacious, with a small sofa against one wall and a chair opposite it.

A glass table sits between them. A bookshelf filled with neatly arranged files, probably for each of his clients, lines another wall.

“Do you want me to stay?” Jax asks.

Before I can respond, Basil interjects, “Actually, Alpha, I think it would be best if it was just Hayley and me, one-on-one.”

I can tell Jax is suppressing a growl, likely because he wants to stay close to me and doesn’t appreciate being told what to do by a pack member, but he doesn’t want to frighten me.

His restraint warms my heart.

Jax gives me a reassuring smile and heads for the door. He gives me one last look before he quietly closes the door behind him.

I stand there, staring at the door, already missing him and wishing he would come back.

Basil brings me back to reality. “Why don’t you take a seat, Hayley?” I glance at him and cautiously settle onto the sofa. He sits directly across from me.

He rests his hand on his chin, stroking his beard, while his leg rests atop the other.

“How have you been?” he asks.

“Good.”

“Alpha told me that you have some problems with your speech. That must be very frustrating.” I shrug.

We chat for about five more minutes. He shares some things about himself.

He has a mate named Claire, and they have a little pup named Chloe. They’ve been together for five years now.

Eventually, he delves into the deeper stuff. “As you are human, I’m curious about how you know about our species. Did you stumble upon us by accident?”

I shake my head and say, “No…was wolf too…when…” and I use hand gestures to indicate ‘small’. Basil understands and nods.

“Where did she go?” I freeze for a split second, then shrug.

“Woke up…one day…and…gone,” I say, my voice shaky. I’m a terrible liar.

“Just gone? Completely?” I nod. “That’s very strange. I’ll do some research later today to see what I can find about that.”

I feel a pang of guilt, knowing he’ll be wasting his time because I’m lying.

He continues to ask about my past, to which I just shrug and say, “Can’t remember.” This goes on for nearly an hour.

I want to scream at him and spill everything I’ve endured over the years, but I can’t. It’s too much.

“We’ve reached the end of our session. I’ve scheduled you for the same time next week. I hope that’s alright.” I nod. I just want to get back to Jax.

To feel his scent envelop me in warmth and security. Basil’s eyes glaze over, and the next moment there’s a knock at the door. Jax enters without waiting for a response, his eyes immediately finding mine.

“All done?” he asks. I nod and manage a tight smile. Jax turns his attention to Basil but doesn’t say anything.

It’s as if they’re having a silent conversation. Jax nods at him, then turns to me.

“Let’s get you to bed. You look tired.” He reaches up slowly to stroke my cheek. I lean into his touch and relax, my eyes closing of their own accord.

My eyes flutter open when Jax says, “Come on, mate.” He trails his hand down my arm to my hand, intertwining our fingers. He tugs me to follow him, and I thank Basil on the way out.

I don’t hear his response as I’m already in the hallway, following Jax to bed…