Chapter 38- One Last Time

Chapter 38 - One Last Time

Kim's POV

I could feel his hard longing gaze burning holes from behind me on my back. He was just sitting there, on the bed watching me as I changed into some fresh clothes for school. Not only did I need to wake up earlier than normal, which is something I did not like at all, Asher had to drive all the way to my house so I could get some clothes, since I really didn't have any at his. As I decided on a long, wool knitted, beige sweater, some dark jeans, and short leather boots; I fixed my hair in the mirror along with some natural looking makeup- so it didn't look like I had no sleep late night or just rolled out of bed.

I didn't bother closing my closet door or changing in the bathroom. I just stripped my sleep wear in front of Asher and put on some clothes. When I turned around he was standing behind me now, leaning against the doorway frame of my closet.

"Something on your mind?" I comment, using his shoulder to balance myself to put on my shoes. He shrugs his shoulders, pursing his lips, "What's the matter, Ash?" I ask, caressing my thumbs across his cheek bones. Please don't tell me it's something I did wrong, or didn't do. What if he's already over this relationship? What if it's already not what he thought it would be? Relationships take time to build, he's got to know that!

OK, so yeah I was freaking out a bit. Asher being quiet and not himself scared me. That meant he was thinking, and when it's just him and that head of his, he's either thinking something through or thinking of something stupid like, let's go ding dong ditch the neighbor's house or put fish in the swimming pool.

"What are we going to tell people at school?" He mumbles, only loud enough for me to hear.

I thought about it for a moment. I knew what had to happen first before the whole school found out, I had to tell Spencer it was over. That through the whole vacation I basically cheated on him even though I said nothing through text, and said I was perfectly fine, and that I missed him. I truly did miss him, but when I was with Ash I just completely forgot about him. Yet a part of me still loves him.

"Nothing. Not yet." I tell him, shaking my head. I didn't have to tell him why because I knew that he knew. I knew that was the thing running through his mind.

He nodded knowingly, lifting my chin up to kiss my lips lightly, "I never told you this, but don't worry about me. I really want this chance at a relationship with you, but I don't want it to start off with you upset and stressed at me for rushing you to break up with Spencer. I know you really like him. If you need more time take it. Just know that I can wait. You do what you need to do at your own pace."

I nodded to him, a grin turning at the corners of my lips, never taking my eyes away from his blue orbs. How did I end up so lucky? "Thank you for being considerate." I mumble in the crook of his neck as I hugged him.

He squeezes me back, "I'll always love you too, Kimmy Ann."

We hurry back down stairs, grabbing something to eat for the road before we get in the car and head to school. We didn't really talk about anything in the car. We were fairly quiet, holding hands, listening to the host on the morning radio show. So when he pulled up into the schools parking lot we took a minute sitting in the car, students rushing to get indoors and out of the harsh winter winds.

"Remember, all the time you need." He said again.

"Thanks Ash." I said sweetly, squeezing his hand a little for support. He kissed my check then went around to open my door for me, something he did on rare occasions.

When we got out of the car we rush inside, since snow was still falling hard. Sucks that we couldn't get another day off. I walk up to my locker first dispensing my snow covered jacket in my locker, and then grabbing my books. Instantly, I saw a blond running to me, throwing herself at me.

"Kimmy Kins!" She squeals, hugging and jumping. Too excited for a Monday morning in school.

"Katie Koo!" I laugh, trying my best to hug her as she tightly embraced my body.

"Oh my God, I haven't seen you since the Christmas party!" She frowns slightly, shaking me by my shoulders.

"Well no one ever called me to hang out." I tease, shaking her back. "Besides, I figured you were locked up getting cozy with-"

"Oh hush!" She smirks, elbowing me in the side.

"Wow, no hug for me Kate? What has this world done to you?" Asher bantered, leaning against my locker.

"Oh I'm so sorry Asher that Katie World doesn't revolve around you." She plays dramatically, moving me to the side a bit to hug him too.

"So where's your boy toy?" He chuckles, earning him a slap on the head from Katie. Still didn't stop the blush from rising to her cheeks.

"You mean your best friend?" She corrects, "He's stopping somewhere to get coffee before he comes in."

"Call him! Right now! Tell him to get me one." I shout to her frantically, still feeling mentally exhausted.

She laughs, taking out her phone to call him. Luckily, he was still there, "Coffee addict Kimberly over here wants a coffee too. "So where's Spencer? Is he back from Florida yet?" Katie asks, looking around for him.

"Oh, um, I forgot to text him this morning. Last time he texted me was yesterday before he got on the plane." I shrug closing my locker.

"Well Maddi texted me saying she needed more shopping time scheduled. Apparently her mom saw those leather boots she got from Aldo and wants them." She tells me.

"You talked to Maddi?" Asher repeats, puzzled.

"Yeah. We're shopping buddies now." She informs him excitedly. "She was in Florida too actually," Katie points out, looking to me, "Yeah, her mom and brother, Ben, by the way such a cutie. We Facetimed. Met over there. I think she still has, like, close family members and friends there so they spent the holidays together."

"Huh, wonder if Spencer and her knew and met up." Asher points out, looking over to me. I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing a clue about them meeting up. It was never mentioned.

"Coffee boy has arrived." Tyler announced, in a deep voice, holding a tray of coffee.

"Life saver!" I sang grabbing a coffee from his hand.

"That one was for Katie, but OK." He surrendered, watching me viciously holding the coffee between my hands and shooting daggering looks at him when trying to take the caffeine back. "Ash man, nice to see you." He greets doing that hand shake thing that all guys seem to have mastered.

"You too, King. Looks like you're not doing half bad." He teases, winking over to Kate who ignored him.

"Ew, this is the gross gas station coffee from across the street, isn't it?" I complained, turning up my nose after the first sip. Katie did that same, looking at the coffee cup disgustedly.

"It's all the same," Tyler says rolling his eyes, "if it has caffeine then you'll live through the day."

"Tyler, did your brother come in yesterday?" Katie asks standing next to him closely.

He looked to me quickly, and then slightly to Ash, "Yeah he came in late last night. He'll probably come in late to get some extra sleep, probably tired from his late flight."

"You excited to see him Kim?" Katie wonders, hooking her arm around mine when I put the coffee cup to my lips.

Nodding my head to her, and grinning, I tell her, "Yeah I can't wait to finally talk to him face to face. I've got a lot to say to him."

"Aw, I'm sure you missed him." She coos, resting her head on mine comfortingly.

"Yeah I did." I admit, feelings shy that I was the center of attention with both boys listening to me.

Her head swiftly left its place, looking over to Asher, or someone behind Asher, "Well no need to! He's right there." She smiles, pointing him out in the crowd.

I look around for him, feeling my stomach drop at the mention of his name and his presence nearby. What does she mean Spencer is here? Tyler said he would be here later on. We're all highly miss formed because there was Spencer coming our way, looking tanner than the rest of the students he passed, a dazzling white smile on his face. Maddi, of course, not too far behind.

"Spencer." I breathe out, my stomach erupted with butterflies, and not in a good way, "You're back." I manage to choke out.

"Yeah. Horrible flight, had a two hour delay in the middle of North Carolina. Nothing in that airport to do. Completely nothing but sitting on the floor, next to a pole, with your phone charging and a bag of chips." He chuckles talking to everyone in the group and walking straight over to me.

He throws his arms around me, kissing the top of my head, and squeezing me tightly into a hug, "Oh, I missed you the most." He whispers to me, kissing the side of my head. He smelled so good, and my heart still melted at the sound of his voice.

"I missed you too." I tell him, tilting my head up to look at him, a small smile on my face as I look into his hazel green eyes. He bends down and presses his lips to mine for a few seconds, startled and turning around when Katie's loud voice speaks up.

"At least you made it back home safe." Katie smiled, giving him a small side hug when he untangles himself from me, "You too Maddi. So glad you came home safely. Even though you were probably on a different flight" She laughs, hugging her too.

"Yeah, right." She chuckles lightly, looking at Spencer.

Huh, yeah. Awkward...

"So class starts in five minutes or so. Should we all head down to homeroom now?" Tyler suggests, first to Katie then to all of us.

"Yeah, let's go." I agree along with everyone else, quickly wanting to get away.

"I'll walk you to homeroom if you want to stop at my locker first." Spencer suggests. His locker was on the way to my homeroom.

"Yeah, I'll join you." I agree, walking with him. I turn my head around as we walk, looking back at our group of friends going the other way, Asher looking back as well. I raise my hand to wave back to him, and grin, earning the same gesture from him.

"So how was your holiday? Sorry I didn't get to text you much, my dad and I were out a lot." Spence apologizes, with a kind smile that I always loved on him. He reaches in his locker, grabbing a textbook out.

"It's OK." I waved off the apology, "And it was great, I had some fun. I got to relax and watch my Christmas movies with my hot coco. Did you have fun with your dad? I'm sure you missed him a lot."

"Yeah, I did. I hadn't seen him for a while so it was nice to be with him. We mostly went to the beach, and he likes fishing so we did that too." He replies, walking away slowly from his locker and down the hall.

"Sound like you had a nice break away from the snow." I grin, "Lucky you." I tell him.

"Yeah." He chuckles, "But I'm here. Missed you, missed my bed, and my mom." He snickers, catching my eye roll. He throws his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in closer, "I won't be able to go back there again for a while." He tells me, his smile faltering, unless I choose to go to college there." He poses. That's right, we've got to choose college soon, and applications are already due.

I nod my head, noticing my homeroom coming closer, "Scary to think that soon enough we'll be done here and off somewhere else. Everyone going their separate ways." It's crazy to think that the people you've been with a majority of your school years will all be scattered. You spent one hundred and eighty days out of three hundred and sixty days of the year with these people. Five days a week, seven hours a day, for the past four years or more!

Then, just like that, senior year creeps up close, and after you throw that cap in the air and leave that football field, it's done. It's the last time you're ever going to see some of those faces. The ones you can't stand, the ones you never spoke to, the ones you had a crush on, the ones you secretly hated, the ones you admired, the ones that you've talked to, or copied homework from. You'll see them on social media, but you won't see them roaming the same halls you do anymore.

Some people say that they hate high school- and it's true, you'll hate it at times or all four years, but there is not one doubt in my mind that you won't miss it. You will miss it. You will lie to yourself and say you won't or you don't, but you will. Maybe it'll be the next day when the realization sinks in, or some random summer day, or the first day of college; but some point in your life you will look back and think, 'Gosh, I sure do miss high school. I sure do miss the simpler days of high school'. That's a fact.

"Hey, you still with me?" Spencer asks, waving his hand over my face.

"Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking. About high school, how it's almost over, with college just around the corner." I mention, stopping in front of my homeroom. I turn around, looking to Spencer.

How was I going to break up with him? How could I when I wasn't completely over him, yet I'm still so in love with Asher. It isn't fair to him that I'm in love with another guy, but Spencer and I are so much alike. He gets me, he understands what goes on in my brain, and he's such a great guy overall. Then there's Asher, the guy that has made me laugh since we were in kindergarten, has been through almost every problem I've had and helped me out, who's been my best friend forever, and can still put up with me watching The Art of Getting By twenty-something times.

It was like asking me to pick between Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. Tyler Posey or Dylan O'Brien? Percy Jackson or the Hunger Games series? France or Italy? Chipotle or Panera? Very hard decisions.

*****

"I couldn't do it, I'm sorry! I just couldn't" I say immediately into the phone, flopping down on my bed with my eyes closed tight. The whole day I tried to build up the courage to tell Spencer. I had even invited him over thinking that would be my motivation to tell him so.

It didn't happen. Nothing happens the way you want it to.

"What are you talking about babe?" Asher asks. His voice was distant, and from the lack of emotion in his voice I could sense he was playing video games.

"I couldn't find it in me to tell him." I sigh, hating that I had to repeat it twice.

"Wait. Tell who what?" He asks, after a moment.

"Asher." I growled, stuffing my face into a pillow in annoyance.

"What?" He exaggerates. The buttons on his controller are furiously behind tapped as a groan escapes his lips.

"Never mind. I'll just tell you another time when you're paying attention." I say to him, not really in the mood to repeat myself a dozen times or talk to myself.

"Well, like I told you, take your time." He says hesitantly. Half focused in the conversation and the other half playing his game.

"I just don't... Don't want you to think I'm never going to. I don't know. I just felt bad all day that you had to see us together after the week we had." I tell him honestly, laying on my bed on my stomach with one of my throw pillow. I was a long quiet pause as he didn't answer back, so quiet that I didn't hear the buttons on his remote click, nor the sound of his breath, and I wondered for a moment if the phone got disconnected

"Then maybe it's not the right time." He says truthfully. It sounded like there was pain in his voice saying that, and it tugged on my heart as he said that, because I knew how much this chance meant to him. "You obviously still have feelings for Spencer, and that's okay. I don't want to be the guy that forces you to break up with him and date me. So, when you're ready, I'll be here waiting."

Now it was my turn to stay silent. I mean what do I say after a confession like that? 'Thanks'? That didn't seem right. As guilty as I felt about it all, he was right. I still have feelings for Spencer, and maybe I always will, just like I always did for Asher. "I just, don't think it's fair to you. I don't want to have feelings for another guy and be in love with you. But I'm with Spencer and I have feelings for you- I always had feelings for you actually- but I just don't want to be in another relationship feeling like that again." I tell him honestly, and I figured he would understand.

"Whatever you've got to do, remember that." He repeats. I'll say it again, like I have for the millionth time, I'm the luckiest girl to have someone like Asher.

*****

Two Weeks Later

In school one day, at Spencer's locker, in the midst of our conversation Maddi cut into talk, grabbing Spencer's arm as he mid-way reached into his locker with a puzzled look on his face.

"Uh, uh. Don't you dare snoop." Maddi warns, pushing his arm away. She grabs a bag from Spencer's locker and shakes her index finger at him, "Your mom wants it to be a surprise, and I won't be the one that let's the cat out of the bag." Maddi tells him, holding the brown shopping bag behind her bag.

"You know, I could have checked the whole time I had it. In the car, or in between periods; I'm choosing not to look in the bag." Spencer tells her with a proud yet amused smile on his face.

"Uh huh." Maddi says doubtfully with a sarcastic look.

"So," Spencer drawls out poking her playfully in the arm, "What's in the bag? Does it have something to do for my birthday?" He inquires, pressing his lips together in anticipation.

Oh darn! I forgot it was Spencer's birthday soon!

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but you won't know until we want you to know." She teases him, swinging the bag around, "Catch ya later. Bye Kim." She then acknowledges with a wave. "Oh! Same thing as last night?" Maddi questions, spinning on her heals.

"Uhhh," Spencer exaggerated, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, not tonight I'm a bit busy. I'm going over Kim's later too, so, yeah." Spencer tell her as she stands ten feet away.

"Ok, that's cool." She grins, waving to us one last time before turning around.

Spencer nods his head and waves, turning his attention back to me, "What was that all about?" I ask, leaning up against someone's locker.

"She asked me to help her out with some psychology paper. I ended up still around later than I thought caught in a movie." He tell him, shutting his locker door.

"I thought you said you were home last night with your step brother?" I recalled, pushing off from the locker to get moving. The warning bell had already sounded.

"No." He tells me with a confused look, "I played video games with him later in the night, but that was after when I came back from Maddi's." He explains further. I nod my head, figuring he was already back at his house by the time I had texted him last night. It was pretty late.

"What movie did you watch?" I ask, holding his books for him so he could put something in his bag.

He scoffs, raising an eye brow at me, "Why? Don't believe me? You going to go ask Maddi to see if my story checks out?"

"No I was just genuinely curious!" I tell him with a minor laugh.

"The Women in Black." He tells me, "Maddi loves horror movies." He states.

"And I don't." I chuckle lightly.

"I had to get my fix somehow! Horror movies aren't meant to be watched alone." He informs me with a crooked smile, "So you mentioned last night that you wanted to talk about something?" Spencer reminds me, raising his eye brow as he slings his back pack over his shoulder.

Ugh, do you break up with someone so soon before their birthday? How awful would that be, having family over and everyone asking 'where's your girlfriend, Spencer?' It would be horrible and embarrassing for sure.

"Uh, no, it can wait. It was nothing." I tell him, waving my hand. What's another weekend, right?

"Ok, you sure?" He asks again, grabbing my hand as we walk down the hall to our next class. I nod my head, squeezing his hand as we walk into English class.

*****

Thursday

So in my head, I figured, it would be too soon to break up with Spencer two days after his birthday. So I gave it five days until I brought up wanting to discuss something with him. Even though I felt like throwing up at the thought that I was going to go through with this. I had seen him at his party though. A surprised one that I was, sadly, not involved in planning. Spencer only wanted to go out to lunch for his birthday with me, and then his mother had invited me over later for dinner. To both of our surprises, when we had arrived back at his home cars were lined up on the streets, and guests were inside waiting to yell surprise.

Seeing Spencer with his family- or most of Tyler's side of the family- and how Maddi interacted so well with his mother especially, I figured there just wasn't a place for me. I was just holding Maddi's place until she reappeared. I had selfishly held my spot for long enough, keeping him from her, or her from him, because when it came down to it they did deserve each other. Just like how Asher and I deserved each other. A love that you just can't get over.

"What's gotten into you today?" Spence asks, playfully shaking my shoulders as he stood behind me as we walked to lunch.

"What do you mean?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"You've been in and out of a dazed since I picked you up this morning. What's on your mind?" He asks, squeezing my shoulders I was stood in the cluster filled stair case leading down to the lunch room.

"Do you think we can talk after later?" I rushed out in saying, not waiting to slowly and painfully ask.

"Of course." He says without hesitation, "Is it the same thing that been on your mind since last week?" He ask, taking his hands off my shoulders as we jogged down the stairs.

That's our usual free block that we have together. Same time we would go to the library, "Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about it." I said to him softly.

"It's nothing I did wrong, right? I mean, I don't think I did anything wrong. If it's about watching that movie last week with Maddi, then Kim it was really no-"

"No, no that's not it. It's nothing you did wrong." I assure him, grabbing onto his arm, "We'll talk after, ok?" He nods his head agreeing, "I'm going to go sit at our table while you get your lunch." I tell him. He nods his head, taking my hand and pulling me over closer to him, hold me back with a smile, still with love and care in his eyes. He leaned in and kissed me lightly on my lips just for a moment. Flicking my nose he chuckles, going to the lunch line.

*****

As the lunch bell rang we all got up, heading out the cafeteria. The whole group laughing, and fooling around with each other. I giggled along as well at some silly joke Tyler had told. Asher squeezed through Katie and I, throwing his arm around my shoulder casually.

"Hey Kimmy Kins." He laughs, winking, and mouthing 'watch this' while nodding over to Katie.

"Hey that's my nick name for her!" Katie shouted from behind.

"I can't use it?" Ash asks shockingly, pretending to look hurt.

"No!" She orders, sticking out her tongue at him.

"I'm striking out on these nick names over here." I hear him whisper softly.

I chuckle, walking with him to my locker to grab my stuff for the rest of the day, "So I've got free period next then Physics with you last." I tell him when everybody splits off to go to their locker, "How's your day been?" I ask, putting most of my books away.

"Not too bad. Had a calc test today. What about you?" He asks.

"Nothing. Passed in my English paper today." I told him with a shrug of my shoulders. "Boring week."

"Yeah, you said it." He mumbles. I close my locker door, and hold the book firmly in my hand. "Alright off to free period." I tell him with a grin.

"See ya later." He tells me. I walk to the library, and to my usual table. I was there early, no one was there yet - or the casual few filing out- and the bell hadn't rung. Taking out my stuff I thought it was smart to start my homework so I had less to do later. Though I didn't think I'd have too much time to do it now.

I was constantly looking at the door waiting for Spencer to come in. Part of me was holding back not wanting him to come so soon, but another just wanted him here so I could get over it and done with. I sigh, looking down at my history homework, staring at it blankly.

You can do this. Kim, you can do this, just, suck it up, tell him straight forward, no lies; all truth. Don't feel bad, OK don't feel too bad, and most importantly, don't get him angry. You still want to be friends in the end. I was hoping that my little peep talk would calm me down a little bit, it was, slightly.

"Hey Kim." Spencer greets, giving me a closed mouth smile. Panic overwhelmed me.

"Hey Spence." I smile, watching him take his seat across from me.

"What you doing?" He asks kindly, gesturing to my paper in front of me.

"Just some homework." I tell him lightly. He nods his head, looking down at the table and around the room. Maybe this would be the perfect time to tell him and explain. Or is it too soon? Well, here goes nothing.

"I've got to tell you something too actually." He tells me, before I can even open my mouth. He had to tell me something too? Well then.

"You go first." We said at the same time. We chuckle, blushing a bit, I move my hair behind my ear with anxiety coursing through my body.

"You go first." He says slowly, "You brought up wanting to talk first so go ahead.

I take a deep breath, fixing my lips in a straight line, and then sigh. I convinced myself over and over in the short amount of time that I was doing the right thing, for myself, and for Spencer. We both deserved different people.

"Spencer, I- I don't know how to tell you this. Or how to start it off- but." OK I'm not prepared at all I guess. I took another deep breath and stared up all again, "When we went our separate ways for vacation I was left alone with Asher and my whole family. My family- they can be a little too much sometimes and Ash is a good distraction from that." I groan internally shaking my head, I'm going way too off topic here, "I don't know how it happened, or where it came from, but Asher told me he liked me. He wasn't drunk. Maybe it had to do with the night before at the Christmas party, but the next thing I know Spencer, is saying how he has all these feelings for me." I hated to think I was breaking his heart to what I was going to say next. Somewhere in the conversation he had taken hold of my hands because they were shaking and being thrown all around the place.

"I told him it was too late. I'm happily in a relationship with you and I had moved on from any feelings I had for him. I felt horrible about it, but I secretly was relieved and in love with the fact that it was possible for him to like me back. I never thought my best friend would ever have those kinds of feelings for me. Then you came back and we were back at school, and I still had the same feelings for you, but those ones that I had for Asher, that I pushed down for so long resurfaced. Then at your birthday party, Maddi was there and talking to everyone, planning the whole party with your mom. She just got along so well with everyone, she makes you happy, - and I felt like that's something I should have been doing, being your girlfriend and all- and when I stood back and looked at everything it hit me."

"I realized that we're both with the wrong people. The people that make us really happy are watching us. Your Asher is Maddi. The one that makes you happy and gets along with your family. You two deserve each other. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I think there's just some loves you can't get over, and you and Maddi are one of them. Most importantly though, I want to say I'm sorry for cheating on you like that. It's the last thing I would ever do to someone and I don't mean for this to hurt you either. I still want us to be friends because you're a great guy and you make me happy, and laugh, and smile, and you've helped me out so much in physics. You've been the best boyfriend ever."

My voice kept getting softer and softer as I came to the end of my apology. I was really feeling guilty, and I truly did want him and I to still be friend. I didn't want to lose him just because we broke up and then moved on. Spencer, he didn't look all at one bit shocked, nor surprised or mad. He looked mellow, relaxed, understanding, and never once interrupting me.

I do love Spencer, throughout our whole relationship, but I was more in love with Asher, my best friend. The one who's been with me through thick and thin, through ugly and pretty stages. Hell, you know a guy is your best friend when you get your period and he doesn't mind driving to the drug store to get you the things you need. That's Ash. My best friend and I love him, for as long as I can remember.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask in a whisper.

He smiles, shaking his head, rubbing his thumbs in small circles on the back of my hand, "Of course not. I'm happy for you. Of course I still care about you, and as long as I do I want you to be happy. If it's with me or without me. I'll always be your friend, even if you try to get rid of me." I smiled at him grateful, so glad that this was turning out OK. I'm glad that we're still going to be friends after all this. It's all that I really cared about, and it was all coming true.

"So what did you want to share?" I ask, shaking his hand a bit. I could feel my palm sweat, sliding easily with his. He turned pale for a moment thinking hard about it. He looked up at me for a moment, thinking and then opened him mouth to start.

"You're right about Maddi. I guess I never really got over her, even though I kept telling myself that. I mean, I was really stupid, following her to Florida. It wasn't my original plan, don't get mad at me about it, but when she told me she was going down I figured it would be nice to hang around at the same places we used to. I could visit my dad too because I hadn't seen him for a while.

"I wanted to see if there was something still there between us, because I don't know about her but I felt like we could have just picked up where we left off, but I couldn't you know. My mom understood me wanting to visit my dad and allowed it" He stopped to think for a moment, "It wasn't until New Year's Eve when I realized that she felt it too. I wasn't sure about it the whole time we hung out there. When the ball dropped, though, to start a new year, she just looked over to me and she kissed me. We kissed."

We fell silent for a short while, just staring down at the wooden scratched table. Through the quiet I could hear the librarian lady screech to others to shut up, well not shut up but to 'lower it down.' "I didn't mean to. It just happened. I should have told her something, how wrong it was, but once we got off the plane I pretended nothing ever happened. I had convinced myself I had gotten the answers I wanted and now it was time to stop wondering and be happy with the relationship I'm in now with you. I get it if you're mad at me." He muttered quietly, "I was pretty angry with myself-"

"Asher and I kissed on Christmas Eve under the mistletoe." I rushed out quickly. I figured if Spencer was man enough to admit he had kissed Maddi then I sure as heck should women up and admit it too, "Are you mad at me?" I ask back.

"No." He reminds.

"I'm not mad at you either." He looks up smiling, happiness glimmering in his eyes. He was glad to still have me as a friend, I knew he was. It wasn't a cocky thing to admit, it was the truth, "Friends?"

"Friends." He declares, squeezing my hand gently.

We both smile at each other. There was no need for tears, or neither of us raising our voice, there was no fighting, it was the perfect break up. For the rest of the time being we continued to hold hands and grin at each other. We knew it was time to go, though, not because we heard the bell ring, because everyone started to file out until there was barely anyone left. Not like before where there was a full library.

"I think it's time for us to go." He smiles, shaking my hand a bit to bring me back into reality. I nod collecting my stuff, grinning at my still empty history sheet. Getting up he held out his hand to me, a little grin on his face, "Come on. For last time's sake. I'll walk you to class hand in hand."

I smile taking his hand, sure one last time. Why not? As I thought about it, walking down hand in hand with my new best friend, it wasn't like my typical fairytale, day dream, relationship. It wasn't your usual relationship break up like the movies. Walking hand in hand down the hall not because people still believe we're a couple, but because we made it out at friends.

As we slowly walked to my physics class I looked up to him, needing to point this out, "By the way, you don't need to bring me home or come over later."

"If you don't want me there." He chuckles, raising both his hands, one of them still holding mind.

"No, no it's not that. How about a rain check then. I still need a physics tutor." I pointed out, eye balling the classroom up ahead.

"That sounds good to me." He agrees, he squeezes my hand one last time as we stand near the classroom entrance.

With a smirk on my face, and mischievous eyes I reach up on my tip toes, pressing my lips one last time one his, "For last time's sake." I repeat when I plant my feet flat on the ground. He grins as well, stroking my thumb on my cheek one last time before dropping his hand and walking away.

Walking into physics I take my seat next to Asher and turn quickly to him, "Can you bring me home today?" I ask, trying to suppress the smile on my face.

"Spencer busy?" He asks, raising his eye brow at me.

"Yeah." I tell him, "Something like that." I mumble under my breath, "We can rent a cool movie too if you want."

"Sure," He says, shrugging his shoulder, totally up for it.

"Don't I get an invite?" Tyler intrudes from behind.

"No." Both Asher and I say unanimously and simultaneously.

*****

The moment we got to my house, I threw my backpack on the floor along with my shoes. Asher walked in behind me, stomping his boots on the entrance mat, and shaking the fresh snow from his hair. I told him to follow me to the kitchen, so I could make us some hot coco. While waiting for the milk to heat up I hop on top of the counter where he leaned back on.

"So how was your rest of the day?" I ask him, swinging my legs.

He shrugged his shoulders, not saying anything about it, "What movie do you want to watch?" He asks.

"I thought we could watch something different." I tell him, with a smile on my face. He looked at me quizzed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know, so weird."

"What happened to you towards the end of the school day?" He asks, still turned to me.

Smiling to him, I leaned in close, staring up into his eyes for a brief moment before pressing my lips passionately to his. Inhaling a large, and sudden breath, his hands slowly ventured to my waist, moving his lips with mine. He pulled away from a moment, shaking his head, his forehead scrunching up in confusion, "Kim, you can't be doing this. Spencer- I know you're going to regret something later."

"Why would I regret it?" I played, a wide grin on my lips as I brush my fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

"You're still with Spencer." He states, looking at me as if it were obvious.

"Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. We broke up towards the end of the school day." I mention to him, watching the new change the look in his eyes, from confused, shock, baffled, to ecstatic.

"Are you serious?!" He says, trying to contain his happiness, "I mean, I'm sorry for your break up. I hope you're going to be ok." He drifts off seriously, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"I think I'll be more than ok." I tell him certainly, pulling his face near, and in for another kiss.

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