𝐱𝐱𝐢𝐢𝐢.

It was just after 7am when Chris ambled downstairs after awakening to the smell of coffee. He found Faith at the dining room table typing away at her laptop, sitting cross-legged with her favorite mug right beside her. "Hey. You're up earlier than usual."

She looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. "I never really went to sleep. I've been trying to finish up this front-page article for a minute."

"Oh," Chris remarked, keeping his tone even as he grabbed his own mug from the cabinet. "I didn't realize you'd gone back to work already."

Faith nodded, pushing her reading glasses up so they were more centered. "Mhm."

As he filled his mug and stirred in cream and sugar, Chris debated briefly on how to respond. He wasn't keen on the idea of them having an argument, but he'd be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge his worry for her.

"Are you sure that's the best idea? It's only been a couple of weeks."

There was no response initially; just the sounds of the laptop's keys being tapped as her fingers worked their magic. Don't push it, his mind said loud and clear. He walked over to the table and set his mug down, the chair beside her scraping against the floor as he pulled it out. It was only after he sat down that she spoke: "I know how long it's been."

"So why not take a break? Focus on something else."

Her fingers stilled over the keyboard, hovering mid-air. She didn't look at him. "If I stop working because of what happened, it's like I'm letting him win all over again. And I can't do that."

"But, baby..." Chris's voice was gentle as he scooted closer, their knees brushing up against one another. "You can't burn yourself out. It's okay to step back, I promise."

Faith took off her glasses and sighed, closing her laptop. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"That's pretty much my job at this point, hon." He took a pause, then said, "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"I don't think you'd understand."

"Then help me," He grabbed one of her hands, stroking the back of it with his thumb. "Help me understand."

She at last made eye contact with him again, "I'm not...fully here." She exhaled shakily, as though trying to gather courage to keep talking. "It's like pieces of me are scattered all over the place and I can't pick them all up."

Chris didn't say anything, just let the silence give her space to continue.

"When I'm doing my work, it's something that I can control, you know? I can regulate it because it's what I'm used to."

"But don't you see how you can also use it to not deal with that pain? Don't close yourself off to that, babe. It's okay to feel it. I promise you, it's okay."

Faith sniffled quietly, nodding in acceptance. She moved to put her hands on either side of his face, resting her forehead against his, and he reciprocated the action. "I don't know what I'd do without you..."

"I love you, alright? Always. I'm here if you need anything, even if it's just wanting me to shut up and listen. I'm not going anywhere."

After they'd finished their coffee, Chris convinced her to get some sleep, promising that he'd let her know if she got any important calls or emails. He then resigned himself to catch up on his own business that had fallen by the wayside due to the past few weeks of frenzy. There were so many things on his plate that he briefly wondered if he would have time to get through everything.

A few hours later Faith had woken up feeling more rested than before. If she weren't so hungry, she probably could've slept the entire day. She felt along the nightstand until she located her phone, still a bit groggy as she checked her missed notifications. Chris had texted ten minutes ago that he was taking Dodger for a walk and that he'd made some food for her and left it the fridge. Ugh, she was beyond thankful for him.

First order of business, however, was to take a shower and moisturize her hair. One thing she was determined not to do in the aftermath of the Derek ordeal was neglect the most important aspects of self-care. Tossing off the blanket, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and put on her slippers before heading for the bathroom.

After finishing her shower, Faith heard the front door open, followed by the skittering of Dodger's paws as he and Chris came back inside. Wrapped in a towel, she exited the room and went to the top of the stairs. "Hey, I was just about to text you."

Chris gave her a little wave before unhooking Dodger's leash and leading him to his water and food bowls. "Hey. You get enough sleep?"

"Yeah, but now I'm even hungrier than when I woke up."

He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the coat tree. "I'll grab your sandwich and something to drink."

She slipped back into the room to finish getting dressed, opting for a fresh pair of yoga pants and one of Chris's old hoodies.  A couple minutes later he'd come upstairs and put her food and drink on the nightstand. "You're the best."

"That's all you, my love." He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "Still out here stealing my clothes, I see."

"Hey, it's not my fault you always buy comfier stuff than I do." She plopped down on the side of the bed and surveyed the sandwich he'd made her, loaded with ham, cheese, lettuce, and tomato. Her stomach promptly growled in response. "Ooh, this looks good. Thank you."

"Of course." He took a seat on the floor beside where her legs rested, socked feet moving back and forth to an invisible rhythm. "Listen, um...my agent's already been trying to ask me about how we want to deal with the press after everything. I told him we'd keep things quiet for now, but I wanted to see how you wanted to move forward before I gave him anything definitive."

What did I do to deserve this man?  Faith thought to herself. He was always looking out for her, always navigating tricky situations with her in mind. The love in her heart for him as a result grew with each passing day. "It's hard. On one hand, I want to just bury my head in the sand and never come out. But then again, people are going to have questions and speculate. I don't know, to be honest."

"We can always make a joint statement and release it to the press. It'd be an assurance of sorts—you're safe, but you need time to heal and we'd both like our privacy to be respected on the matter. Something like that."

"I think that'd work best," She responded, taking a swig of berry lemonade. "But I'm not the only one who needs time to heal, you know."

When he looked at her quizzically,  Faith sighed. "Be honest with yourself and with me. What Carly did hurt, Chris. And you haven't talked about it much, but you need to know that you can, whenever you're ready."

Chris averted his gaze, and for a moment she thought he'd change the subject or deny it. Instead, he leaned his head against her thigh, remaining silent. She responded by running her fingers through his hair, holding him close.

He was a silent crier; most of the time, she didn't even know he was crying unless she actually saw it, or heard him sniffling. This time around, it was the latter, and Faith was content to hold him all the while.

If he'd promised to be there for her, even in the quiet moments, then there was no hesitation in returning the sentiment.

• • • •

• • • •

beauvans being each other's support systems >>>

as of today, faith hit 50k reads and i'm so thankful!! all of you who've voted, commented, added to your  reading lists, etc are incredible. thank you for supporting my writing endeavors :)

there are only two chapters + the epilogue left to go...so, i hope you all are prepared for the end of the ride. <3

-rach