Chapter 26

I watched the door slide closed behind Eaven. It glided completely on its own, like an automatic door. I turned to look at Ronan. Now that the two  goblins were gone from the room, his roguish smile was replaced by a much more sour expression.

I realized I was still holding Ronan's hand. I pulled mine free and stood, leaving far too much food still on my plate. The exhaustion I had been ignoring weighed heavily on me. I rearranged my borrowed dress around my legs so that it would be easier to walk.

I'd had enough of this evening.

"Well, I think I'm done—"

"Sit. You've barely eaten."

I remained standing and fixed him with a blank stare. "I'm not hungry."

"You've barely eaten anything in days, and you are weak. Eat. You need to get better."

I lifted one of my brows at him. It was easier to understand the wild fae side of him compared to this caring and protective version. Theodan had figured it out faster than I had and had been all too willing to use it against him.

"Well, I was hungry until you started gnawing on bones like a dog."

Ronan pushed his brows together, a crease showing between them. "A dog? You mean one of those puny wolves that humans keep as pets?"

I stared at him. Then I let out a weary breath, my shoulders slumping forward.

"Never mind." I turned to leave the room. My head swam uncomfortably. I gritted my teeth and pushed forward through the haze. I was tired of being weak.

"Heather..."

I ignored him and kept walking, moving past the glittering pinpricks of light that swam through the air and into the icy hall. Frost gathered in the corners like a thick layer of dust, and a draft snuck up from down the corridors. I rubbed my arms, but the cold didn't bite at me as harshly as it had before.

I heard a set of heavy steps behind me as Ronan followed. With a quick glance, I noticed he was carrying a plate of food. Behind him, short and squat creatures crawled into the empty dining room. Some of them finished off the food on the table, and others were cleaning away our plates. It was the first time I saw any of the other creatures that lived there.

Well, I guess that answered who did the cooking. I had doubted Eaven put the feast together herself.

We reached the room, Ronan stopping a few paces behind me.

"Yes?" Ronan asked from where he stood at my back.

I looked at him through the side of my eye. "Are you actually sleeping in the same room as me?"

Ronan didn't bat a lash. "Yes. We've been sleeping near each other for days now. I thought you were used to it."

I pursed my lips, feeling too tired to argue. But still, I had to ask, "But... can't you sleep elsewhere for one night? Surely it is safe—"

"No," Ronan said, cutting me off. "It is safer than out in the mountains, yes, but you are mistaken if you think you are safe anywhere in this world. Though I don't think Eaven or Theodan would harm you, I do not trust them. Not with you."

I felt my heart jump at his admission. I was confused all over again.

Brushing past me, Ronan pushed open the door. He revealed the same icy room I had enjoyed my solitude in earlier, only this time small floating lights lingered within. As Ronan moved into the room, the lights scurried out, streaming into the hall and past me. I felt the wind shift as they went.

Ronan turned, noticing me still standing there.

"Well? Aren't you tired?" He held up the food. "Or will you eat?" He sounded almost hopeful.

"Fine."

I moved inside. I didn't get him at all. One minute he was the mischievous taunting faerie I had expected him to be, then the next moment he looked just as confused as I was over our situation. The room was dark now that the lights had fled from Ronan.

Ronan opened his palms, and little balls of flame burst from them and flew about the room, filling it with warm flickering firelight. A hint of smoke tickled my nose, but it was pleasant. It reminded me of the coziness of a burning wood fireplace.

The only other time I had seen Ronan use any magic was when he put the candles out in the Inn. He had avoided lighting a fire out in the mountains, except for that one time after I had passed out. I guessed I hadn't been able to witness him use it then. I watched the fire flit through the room, a small burst of excitement running through me at the sight.

Somehow, knowing Ronan had more in his arsenal than weapons only made him more intriguing.

We sat on the bed, Ronan placing the food beside me, and silence descended between us as I wordlessly started on the food.

Ronan watched the flames bob through the room while I ate. The silence was a comfortable one, something I had grown accustomed to with him during our travels. It wasn't annoying like it had been when he was ignoring me. Instead, it held a peacefulness born from someone who was not used to having to talk too much. Another thing I had perhaps misunderstood about him.

"So, you're a prince?"

Ronan didn't turn to look at me as he replied, "Yes, in a way."

I picked up a cherry danish from the plate. For a long moment, we were silent while Ronan lost himself to his thoughts and I enjoyed the deliciousness of the pastry. I swallowed it down.

"What do you 'mean in a way?'"

"I am a prince, but I am not The Prince."

I tilted my head as I licked a crumb off my finger. "But you are in a higher position than Theodan, and he hates that."

Ronan's mouth curved on one side, making one of his fangs more pronounced. "Yes, well, Theodan would probably still hate me if I wasn't. But the fact that someone of my impure breeding has a higher position than him in the Night Courts is infuriating for him. But I'll admit, killing Eirian likely angered him more than usual. Goblins perhaps rival even me for their penchant for violence."

He looked at me, a wicked look in his eyes. "Theodan and Eirian were lovers, and he has never quite moved past it."

I watched the way the fire danced across his skin, almost like a gentle caress. I had to look away before I was caught staring.

The momentary look of vulnerability I had glimpsed on Theodan's face made more sense now.

So faeries did sometimes care deeply for others. I considered Ronan. I doubted he would ever be one of those, even if he did desire to keep me safe, I doubted that meant he felt anything more than an urge to protect me.

"How is your breeding more impure than any other fae?"

Ronan glanced at me, his gaze darting to my mouth. I realized my finger was still at my lips and drew it away. His gaze lingered on them before he looked back at his dancing flames, the moment stretching out a few seconds too long. The orbs of flame danced around the room like looming fireflies. The flicker of light might have been romantic under different circumstances.

I pushed the plate away. Nope. He might be a prince, but not like any that would sweep up damsels in distress in a fairy tale, fighting away the dragons that imprisoned them. Instead, he was more like a dragon that took the form of a prince.

When Ronan spoke, his tone was deeper than before."My mother was a vampyr fae. They are known to seduce their victims and sometimes get stuck with a child as a result if they let things get too far. In my case, the demon chose to seduce the King of the Night Courts, and he let her, even if it was to his own demise."

Then I furrowed my brows thoughtfully. "So you are the King's son," I stated.

Ronan smirked ruefully. "His illegitimate son. My mother killed him after their pairing, then birthed me and left me for dead. I am a rare mix of High Fire Fae, and vampyr fae. An abomination to any high goblin or fae. I am a prince by my birth, but nothing more than that."

He accounted his tragic past so nonchalantly, giving the impression it was nothing much. His eyes didn't darken, and his gaze didn't waver. Even though this was the most he had ever spoken of himself, I could tell that he didn't think much of telling me. Like he was recounting a story that wasn't his.

Still, as much as I didn't like it, I felt bad for him. It sounded like a lonely existence, and even though I didn't understand the fae, Ronan made a little more sense to me now.

"I'm sorry."

He looked at me, genuinely alarmed. "Why would you apologize? You wouldn't have even existed yet."

I frowned. That's right. The immortal thing. I was probably sitting next to a 'young' one-hundred-year-old.

"It is something we do in my world when we hear something sad. It's a way to empathize."

This, too, seemed to confuse him. "Humans and their empathy." He said the word like it was something preposterous. "I don't understand why anyone would ever want to experience someone else's pain."

I shrugged and leaned back against the pillows, feeling tired. "In a way, I guess we believe it makes it easier to bear pain if we share it."

Ronan considered this. But he eventually shook his head. "Foolish. If you bear each other's pain, how can you kill anyone? Might as well cut your own throat while you're at it."

I gazed at him, his brows were furrowed with legitimate concern. It would have been endearing, had he not been talking about murder.

"Well, in my world, killing people is a crime. You can be imprisoned for the rest of your life for doing it. It's considered a soulless act."

Ronan smirked, his eyes glinting in the flames. "I suspect in your world I would be liked about as much as I am in this one. I am a demon either way."

"Perhaps..."

I sensed Ronan looking at me as I pondered the idea of him back home. No matter how I tried to picture it, he was right. I probably fit into Faerie better than he would ever fit into the human world.

"I need to go back..." I stated. "I want to go home."

Ronan furrowed his brows, a crease forming between them. "I don't understand."

"Home, " I repeated. "It's the place that I came from. I need to go back there. My family is worried about me, and I need to return to them."

Ronan considered my words. "Home, the place that humans come from." His expression twisted, and he shook his head.

"No."

My stomach sank. I wasn't sure why I had even asked. Maybe because for a few moments I had...hoped.

Hoped that Ronan was more than just my captor. That this urge to protect me ran deeper than just the need to keep some new shiny possession of his safe.

"Perhaps you can find a home here, in Faerie." His eyes lingered on me, running over my hair, and my skin which still shimmered with Eaven's paint. "You might fit in better than you think."

I placed down what remained of my food and stared ahead numbly. I imagined for a moment, what life would be like if I stayed.

I didn't want a future where I was just Ronan's wife, whose only purpose was to bear him children. Just like when my mother and I fought over my future, I believed I was destined for something different.

Something greater.

I licked my lips, if Ronan wouldn't help me, maybe he had information that would.

"If it is so hard to cross between realms, how was I stolen from mine?"

Ronan shook his head. "It's... complicated. But some humans can open portals and pass between realms. When the veil is thin at certain times, you can see beyond it. You were crossing into ours, not the other way around. You probably were led towards a portal, so that you could pass through."

I remembered how I had thought I was hallucinating that night. Had it been the veil thinning between our worlds? If so, then it was the mischief of the fae toying with me. I remembered the strange light in Nat's eyes, and the way the forest had come alive. The ring of toadstools around my bare feet.

No wonder Gran had always been so adamant about avoiding such things.

"So, there is a reason the Hunt wanted me? Why I could see what I did that night, and a reason that I am here," I prodded.

Ronan sighed, but answered me anyway, " As far as I know, interbreeding with humans creates stronger bloodlines for us, leading to unique traits in our Craft. Also..." He trailed off, as if thinking better if what he was saying. "There are other benefits. The humans that cross over are often different..." His eyes glinted in knowing. "And I have a feeling you are different, Heather."

"How am I different than anyone else?" I asked. I thought of what Eaven said about me being sick. "Is that why I am ill?"

Ronan pursed his lips. "I don't know why you are ill, I just know what I have heard."

"Which is?"

Ronan shifted on the bed. A familiar silence lapsed between us, where he didn't answer me. I could feel my frustration brewing.

"You should get some sleep. I doubt Theodan will be happy if we are here too long. The sooner you recover, the better," Ronan said finally, his brows narrowed as if he too was considering my question.

I felt my fists clench and I glared ahead. But I could tell that whatever it was that had spurred Ronan to talk had passed. He wasn't going to tell me anything more tonight.

"Right," I agreed reluctantly. "I should." Ronan lifted the plate off the bed, and I turned my back to him as I laid down, not even bothering to change. There was no privacy in the room, though I figured if I told Ronan not to look he wouldn't.

My energy was completely drained. I was glad to finally have some information about how crossing over worked, but I still felt trapped and nowhere close to getting home. There was a reason Ronan was keeping me close, and the answer to that was bothering me more than ever.

Despite how tired I was, sleep didn't come easily to me even as Ronan extinguished the flames.