Chapter 38

When I woke up, it was to Ronan's arms around me. I curled into him, turning so I nestled my head against his chest. The memories from the night before tugged at my mind, thick and foggy like I had been drinking. I remembered the heat of Ronan's kisses, and how it felt to be completely drowned in him. The warmth of his body coiled around me, and he dipped his head to brush his lips against my forehead.

I smiled, letting myself bask in the heady heat of his body. But then reality started to seep in. The hazy pleasure of the night before had overshadowed a lot of things.

A lot of important things.

I slowly pulled away from Ronan as I looked up at the night sky. Everything was messed up now. Things were no longer so black and white. Ronan wasn't just the bad guy, and going home didn't mean I could leave this world behind.

I pressed a finger to my lips, the memory of Ronan's kisses lingering.

Ronan noticed my absence, rolling over to nestle his head into my neck, softly biting me, the scrape of his sharp, fanged teeth sending an electric thrill down my spine. He started to kiss up along my neck, working up to my mouth. I let him for a while, unable to push him away.

But then I turned my head. "Stop," I said softly. "I need to think."

Ronan propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at me with a small frown. "What bothers you?"

I closed my eyes tightly. "Everything."

I rolled over, pulling myself up from the soft bed of moss and flowers where we had fallen last night. A few paces away was where I had left my clothes to dry, and I started to pull them on. Ronan's eyes followed me.

"Last night was a mistake."

I heard movement, and I turned to see Ronan approaching me. He was pulling on his trousers, tying up the laces, leaving his chest bare. Gone was the softness from his eyes. In their place were flickering flames. I paused.

"I don't think so," he said, taking my hands, urging me to turn towards him. "Had I known..." he trailed off, brows furrowing. "It was different from anything I have experienced before, but it was not a mistake."

I swallowed. "This scares me. Last night I wasn't thinking. I was to wrapped up in the moment. It's too much, Ronan. Too intoxicating, too overwhelming. Around you, I'm forgetting who I am."

Ronan's hands clenched mine. He let out a breath. It was resigned, and uncharacteristically unsure. "It's nothing to fear, Heather. It's the bond. Even I didn't realize it would be this powerful." He tried to pull me closer. "It's effecting me too, but I don't think it was a mistake. If anything, I wish I had pursued it sooner."

Slowly I turned my head, my brows pushing together. I looked at his face, trying to make sense of his conflicted expression. He looked almost as lost as I felt.

"The bond," I asked slowly. "As in the marriage bond?"

Ronan was silent a moment, his eyes flickered before he averted them. The darkness around us felt like it was shrinking in. "No."

I wasn't surprised. "Then what is it?" My tone had lost its warmth.

He pulled his hands from mine, lifting one to run through his hair. For a moment, despite his pointed ears and long, clawed fingers, he reminded me of a boy. Another guy my age who was just as lost in his world as I was mine. But then his gaze hardened.

"You are air fae, and I am fire fae. Our two abilities complement each other, and it has built a Craft bond between us. A rare one, since our two kinds of fae have not been near each other since the times of Mab."

I took a step back. "That's why...why you won't let me go." I moved further away. "You knew, all along. You always just wanted to use me."

And I had known. Shame made tears well up in my eyes. I had seen the warning. I had heard him saying the words I pretended I hadn't heard.

"Together... we'll burn it all."

"Heather," he said. "That might have been true, but..." He reached out for me. "Not anymore. Things are different now."

Cruel anger bubbled up in my chest. "What is it you want, Ronan?"

He tried to step towards me. "You..."

I moved out of his reach, my eyes cold. "And?"

He looked down where I had moved away. His jaw tensed, and I saw a flicker run through him, a feral creature within his sharpened features. His gaze rose back up to mine.

"I want to be King. I will win the Trials, then become King of the Night Courts. I want you by my side. More than ever, don't you see..." He held his arms out to the side. "We could bring this world to their knees."

I shook my head. "I don't want that. This isn't my world."

Ronan's eyes had turned cold. "You and your humanity. You cling to it so desperately. But think about it, Heather."

He stalked towards me, cutting off the narrow space between us. He looked me up and down knowingly. "Why do you think your Craft is so strong? It's not normal. Humans with fae blood aren't like that, they have small traces of it at best. When I first saw you, out there in the Hunt, your Craft called to me. I knew in that moment you were special. I knew you had to be mine. Face it, Heather, you aren't as human as you think."

I turned my face from him. Right now he wasn't the soft caring lover I had given myself to, but the cruel captor I had been trying to escape. A faerie—no, not just a faerie, but a monster.

And his words... I shook my head, pulling myself away, frantic. "No," I said, raising my hands to my head. "You're, wrong. That's not true, it isn't possible."

Ronan grinned, a harsh display of his teeth. "The only difference between you and me is that you can lie. I know what I am, who I am. You need to accept who you are, Heather. You are meant for this."

"Stop."

I ran my hands through my wild curls. I felt a flicker of my Craft inside me, answering to my anger. Overhead the moon hid away behind a cloud and a strong gusting wind roared past us. Ronan's eyes brightened.

"Just look." His voice was rising with excitement. "Look what you can do. You can control the very weather around us without even trying. Embrace it. Be with me. You will never have to feel weak again." He held out his hand to me, but I refused it, smacking it away.

My nails bit into my palms as I clenched my fists. I looked up at him. "Stop telling me what I want." The wind echoed the turmoil in my heart, ripping past us. "You don't know anything about me."

Ronan stared at me, unwavering. "I know enough."

"No," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "You'll never understand me, faerie. You don't even know what it means to think about anyone other than yourself."

And I turned, running into the trees behind me.

I heard Ronan call after me, his voice suddenly breaking from his deep malicious tone. "Stop, that way—"

But I ignored him, pushing my feet into the ground as fast as I could. The wind sizzled and crackled along my skin, invigorating me, and I focused everything I could on making myself faster.

The tall, twisted trees danced out of my way. A darkness was spreading between the branches, and I ran into it. Violent gusts collected at my fingers and tore into my hair. Overhead angry, dark clouds blotted out the night sky, making the shadows coalesce together into a single impenetrable nightmare.

I urged myself faster. I heard Ronan in pursuit, his voice an incoherent snarl. I couldn't stop. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know if I would ever be free of him, but I couldn't give up. This wasn't my world, and I didn't want to be any part of whatever Ronan's warped intentions were with me.

Then the darkness surrounded me.

I stopped, momentarily suspended, my body and mind no longer in the same place. I spun around, but behind me, the forest was gone. Ronan was gone. All I could see was the endless starless sky and shadows on either side of me, stretching out into oblivion.

I turned, confused. I had no idea where I was, but I knew it was a world separate from the one I had been in before. The air sputtered to a low ripple around my fists.

There was shifting, fluttering sound. A shape took form in the darkness, a single red-eyed raven. It hopped on the ground while peering at me curiously. It took flight, its dark wings expanding. I jumped as it came to me, landing on my shoulder.

It tilted its head at me, its red eyes flickering. It felt familiar yet entirely different. I knew the bird's gaze held an intelligence that didn't befit its avian body.

"Heather."

No.

I looked up with dread to see Ronan walking in through the shadows, his face twisted in fury. His eyes were bright, his lips curled up off his teeth. But then he took notice of the bird on my shoulder, and halted. His skin went pale, and the closest thing I had ever seen to fear flickered in his eyes.

A cool, dark feminine laugh filled the air.

Ronan stared at the bird on my shoulder.

"Mother."