Chapter Thirty Four

A/N: I'm SO sick rn but how good is my update schedule now? ;)

"I—" I started to speak, before my throat just about closed up with fear. I took a deep breath, and was about to speak again before a phone started ringing.

Ethan dug through his pockets to fetch the device, scrunching his nose when he read the screen.

"Uh, I'm sorry but I have to go." He didn't say another word as he walked out of the room, shutting the door before putting the phone to his ear.

Dread filled me, as I realised I would be having this conversation more than once. Only next time, it would be with him.

Xavier scowled. "Have fun with this conversation," he said harshly before leaving, taking the same path as Ethan. I was left standing with my mouth open.

I looked towards Jordan and Blake, who stood there with intrigue and slightly confusion on their faces due to Xavier's little outburst.

I sat down in one of the seats, and they followed me. They looked.. normal. I couldn't do this.

But I had to.

"When I was younger.." I began, not having the guts to look them in the eye. "I got diagnosed with a disease. A bad one."

That was how I started, and then I told them of my childhood adventures in hospitals as they sat quickly and listened. The room was silent except for my explaining, and I felt like my voice was breaking with every passing second. Blake had stopped looking at me, resting his hands on the back of his head.

After I had caught up to the present, having only given the information regarding my illness, it was more quiet that it ever had been with both of them in one room.

"I'm so sorry," I said, my voice cracking for the millionth time. I had gone numb after that, preparing for a reaction similar to Xavier's. Disappointment and hurt, with a side order of guilt served by me.

Blake stood, nodding to himself. I had never seen it before, but Blake wore a completely blank and emotionless expression. It was shocking to see.

He walked out with no sounds or words, shutting the door behind him. I looked down, tears flooding into my eyes as I clenched my fists, causing my nails to dig into my skin.

"You.." Jordan suddenly spoke. "You are.. you're gonna be.. I..."

I stood up, wiping my eyes. "I should just go, right? Save you from storming out," I bitterly joked, making myself more hurt in the process. I turned around, and suddenly Jordan's arms were wrapped out me.

The tears came back again, and I turned around and hugged him back tighter than ever.

"You'll be fine... you'll be fine... right?" he was whispering in my ear, causing me to bury my head into his shoulder. "I don't know how this all.. works, but you'll be okay.. yeah?"

His voice was so small, and so painful that I couldn't answered him with my own. I just nodded numbly before he squeezed me tighter. I didn't care, I was just happy that I still had a friend.

"Yeah," I said, sniffling hardcore. "I'll be fine."

><

I hadn't spoken to anyone from school in weeks. Not even Jordan. It still hurt, a lot. All of my friends, gone because of my stupid mistake.

I did nothing but lie in bed and complete school work that I was missing, plus go to work, and luckily I was keeping up thanks to the dedication of my teachers. Next week, I would have to go in and speak with the career officers about my university situation. I dreaded that, as it wasn't something I thought about often.

So, I was researching universities. I was seeing which ones I needed to apply for as soon as possible.

That had been filling my thoughts for days, almost distracting me from what had happened in the span of a few weeks.

And as the halfway mark of semester two approached, I went and prepared myself for life beyond high school. I did not, however, prepare myself for the shitstorm that accompanied me returning to school in order to do that preparing.

A/N: I am so sick rn, I can't even watch tv because it makes my eyes water??

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