You walked out

You walked out the door

So I set it on fire

I was hurt by the fact you said you cared for me when I never had felt it

I was hurt by the fact that you say you want my happiness when it's been the thought of losing you that has kept my soul haunted

I tell myself I'm fine

I tell myself this is what I wanted

In reality I keep on sobbing

In reality I regret the flame I started

I tell myself it was you

I say it was all the red flags

The flags were orange at best, and at worse, the effect of colorblindness

I say it's good to be alone

Better than feeling pressured

Then why in the moment did I love you?

You can't write poems and songs about being in love if a man truly did you dirty

I say I don't need you

You don't need me

For fucks sake Crystal, then why you did think about him every goddamn day?

I say I don't regret it

Everything turned out the way it's meant to be

But when Tiktok says you're coming back, I light up like a firecracker on Independence Day

You say you respect my decision

Please, just this once

Be the biggest bitch you've ever been and ask me, "looking back, why did you end things with us"

Please for Godsakes

Just shout it in the air

Start the text then send it

I swear I won't throw snares

We can keep it secret

We can take things slow

Just tell me stupid shit like what's your favorite show

I don't want to fall in love

I don't need one on one

I just want to talk and grow up

Please just give me the chance to fall in love with the idea of us once more

Written on: April 27, 2021