My Race, My Pace

He asks how I do it

How I don't dread being in last place

How he feels sad when he sees me struggling to keep pace

With the gods of track

The girls so talented it doesn't make sense

His question offends me

But maybe it's only because that's how I would've thought back then

When all I cared about was time

And all I cared about was placement

How being the fastest meant I had potential and that my life was worth living

That races were judgment days

And not passing their test meant all love was taken away

But I don't see life that way anymore

And I think I needed that reminder the most today

To not lose sight of my purpose

How it extends beyond a hobby

How I'm a senior and I'm happy

And those 2 girls I'm so blessed to take last to

I'm not in a sophomore mindset

And I have so much to look forward to

I don't need the doubts of my insecurities to start seeping through the woodwork

So to that freshmen who asked me

And whose comment I allowed myself have my mind misbehave

I can handle myself not be perfect

And I accept myself with any and all flaws

I focus on the progress

And how good it feels to be strong

Because I don't need to hit a number

Hit a time or hit a place

I just need to know I tried my best

That's the beauty of it being your own race

Written: March 12, 2022