Bye Regents

Is it weird I thought we would last a lifetime?

That all the stars aligned when I met you?

Is it normal to think back to a year ago

How things could have been different if my body were salvageable ?

In just one moment I could've taken your hand

Gotten on the Ferris wheel and let fate take over

If I just let you in instead of fearing temptation

Would I no longer let myself fear that we're over?

Would our stark differences become translucent and stop glowing?

Would our contrasting backgrounds become our place of unity instead?

Would I expand on my short answers when you ask about my past?

The hauntings from high school and the bruises from childhood

What would have happened if I just took a deep breath?

And if I wasn't so obsessive

Would we still have a common home?

You could cook pastries and we could share breakfast

But instead I lay on a twin size and I eat alone

And I know you think about it sometimes

You say you look up to the window whenever you pass by

You say we should've left our mark on it

From those sentiments, I know you've never lied

So we bid farewell and crossroads lead us away once more

Here's to not seeing you again unless you get bored

And I think to the man singing to us in broad daylight

I could've sworn he saw my cheeks brighten when he said to love is to live brightly

And in crowds you constantly looked back at me

Afraid the people would tear us apart

Our arms brushing against each other in the cramped spots

And how you fixed my shoulder strap each time the tote bag fell off

God I'll never forget what you meant to me

The manic beach runs and cutting my hair

Sleeping with others to forget the shape of you

Drawing your figure in a wedding dress

My redheaded captivator

The only girl I held true

I lose you now because I chose you then

Maybe in the next life I won't feel tethered to you

Written: April 21, 2024