Ch.146 Tethered to expectations - Faith (A Series Of P...

Felt tethered to the idea of Sunday

One last day for you to make your move

But instead, you're in downtown Tijuana

You hate ultimatums, but right now my thought process is obtuse

I know I can't hate on scheduling

Your preoccupation is healthy, that's great!

But thoughts that you're leaving consume me

The apple of your eye is rotting, she's becoming waste

You would text me on the hour every hour

now it's maybe once per day

You're still being nice and caring

But it's not often enough for my taste

I guess you can say I've gone crazy

I guess you can say these feelings are mad

I guess you can say that I'm hopeless

I bet you're bracing yourself for harsh pushback

I want to stab at my heart for feeling such foolish palpitations

Twist the knife to make sure it really bleeds

I want to throw it in the mailbox and send it to you

Twist the door handle and leave you confused, mouth agape

I want you to feel the strange feelings I've been fighting against

I want you to tell me how you could touch my bare skin and then act like I'm a delusional kid

I want you to hurt and see the way that I'm spiraling

The songs I've been listening to and the curled-up fist you kissed before unraveling

I want you to say something

Feel something

Make a move

Be as brave as this girl right here

Tell me you hate me and you want me gone soon

Tell me I'm stupid, the worst you'll ever have

Don't leave me in silence, don't be so bland

Tell me you're afraid to be seen in public with a specimen like me

Say I'm only good in small doses

You calling me "hot" was only because you were horny

Tell me I'm so young, we'd always be at odds

Tell me I'm unlikable, you like every girl but me

Tell me to kill myself, knowing you won't say "love," let those be your final words to me

Written on: September 22, 2024