What you've done

I honestly don't know what's worse

The fact that you haven't reached out to apologize

Or the fact that I didn't mean enough for you to ever hit rewind

No second guessing your decisions babe

You knew where to draw the line

I don't think you truly know what you did to me

And fuck me because you'll never really know

You touched my bare body then left me there crying

You're a villain, not a scared little boy

And now here I am, still in the aftermath

Why hasn't emergency services come my way?

I guess it's my fault because I told them I was fine coping

But the cold hadn't fully enveloped me in her warm embrace

And I feel stupid for having ever given you the benefit of the doubt

I feel foolish because I knew in the moment there wasn't a soul behind those closed eyes

You were running on hormones and alcohol

I was reacting with hope and the fantasy of a pure love

You told me all the right words to get me to open up to you

You gave me all the attention I needed to let down my guard

You pursued me even though you knew I wasn't fully conscious

You put me on speed dial just to delete my number when I told you I didn't want to be stringed along

You saw my soul

You saw parts of my trauma

I told you my weaknesses

And you told me one day someone will love them

But not you

No, you're but too busy

You say you're confused

But woman's intuition knows you're a lying buffoon

And I still scream at night

Because God knows I feel so guilty

I feel like I betrayed my younger self

How did I let a man use me?

And even if you came back

I know that would do no good

Even if you apologized

There's nothing I'd want to say to you

My heart is still hurting

My eyes still tear up, but they don't swell

I think of you, and I get angry

Boy, I hope one day you realize what you've done

You didn't fuck me, but you still left me fucked