Without You

Life doesn't feel right without you

Yet it seems alright at the same time

Without you lunch seems quiet

But at the same time it's loud in my mind

I imagine you sick and weak

Hidden in the bed sheets wet with tears

Sad that you cannot be here with us

Although we are all hiding our tears

You told us a secret

That you were afraid of getting slim

How you were loosing mucle mass

How you felt awkward in your own skin

I related

But I said the wrong thing

To top it all off

It was the last thing you heard from my end

So now I sit crosslegged in class

Pretending you are here

Hearing your contagious laugh

It echoes off the classroom walls

Your hesitance in material you already know interrupts the bare silence

Your gag reflex that made me feel uneasy is gone

But knowing that you are not besides me in class

Makes me worry

Are you okay?

Are you getting better?

Or is it a lost cause?

I'm afraid I will lose you

To your coughs

And bloody regurgitation

I miss you

I hope you hear me

My thoughts and prayers

We both agree that life is unnatural

Without you

Without you I am forced to be alone

Yet at the same time it's making me grow

How can your absence make me happy in a moment, but in the long run, feel quite empty

Without you..

I feel like I'm only half of me

Originally released on: April 16, 2018