More harm than good

My heart races

My throat constricts

Is it the feeling first or the identification that anxiety has hit

I avoid you all for a reason

The girls who once spoke about me behind my back

I know what's available on Schoology

I know that I'm not going back

I don't need you to tell me that sports are resuming

I don't need you to tell me where my head should be at

I don't need you to tell me all the things you think I should know

I have my own brain

I have my own moral code

I don't need you tell me of all the things that I've broken

The life that I've left in the past

The pain and the taunts and when you thought I was lost

I don't need any commentary about that

For me running is over

I don't need to know about some poll

Please leave me alone

This does more harm than good

Maybe I should tell my therapist that

Breathe in and out

Just like I always do

Calm and secure

Breathe through that straw pole

Take in the lavender and relax

I know sports resume on the 6th of this month

That there's an informational meeting on the 8th

I don't owe you an explanation

But if you need to know that bad

I'm not going back to running

I'm not sure that I ever can

Written on: March 5, 2021

A/N: Written after I got an unexpected text from someone that I didn't expect