ANEW

I want to start over

I did this to start over

So why don't I feel new

So why do I feel old and thrown away

Why do I feel empty of feeling

Of emotion

I can't feel empathy

(No longer)

I can't try to be mad

(No longer)

I can't even real smile

(No longer)

I can't even pretend to be social

I can not seem to miss anyone

I can not seem to cry for you

I can't seem to even want to talk to you

I can't try and help you

How can I if I can't help myself

How can I if I'm losing myself

Everyday feels like a never ending cycle

I did this to try to get better

I did this to try and be happy

I did this for you

I did this because I want what you have

I did this because I've been empty for months.

It's so hard to feel

It's so hard to think

It's so hard not to get distracted by little things

It's so fucking hard to care.

I don't know how to get better

Everyday is a cycle that just replays

I try to throw life into swivels and turns

But it just goes back to a straight line

Why won't it just be crazy?

I tried cutting my hair, but it seems to do nothing!

I trued changing my diet, but it seems to do nothing!

Even meeting new people, seems to do.

Absolutely.

Nothing.

This is a new type of feeling.

A new type of depression.

Being near you.

It's like I'm alone.

It's been like that for a long time.

Yet I bet you've never known.

Are we even friends still?

Do I want to be your friend still?

My mind is flickering towards the left side more.

Why won't I ever be able to start anew?

Originally released on: June 19, 2018