Reversing Roles

Fuck

I feel it

Is this how I made you feel?

Did you believe I was thriving

While you were falling after losing your training wheels

Did you believe I was beautiful

for being able to be myself

Living life to the fullest

Blocking out the pain in my heart

Did you think it was unfair

That you felt at your worst

That I felt at least decent

And I was always getting rewarded for what you thought you had earned

Did you ever feel spite

Feel like you were second place

Did you try and keep on trying

And yet still lose every race

Did you look back at old conversations and wonder what separated my life from yours?

Think about it when you dyed your hair

Got new friends

Yet still shared that you loved me evermore

Because I thought about you when I dyed my own hair

I wondered about your new friends

Your new style

The confidence I knew I could never show off

I feel the unfairness when I see you in your posts

Better than you've ever been

And somehow I'm always at a loss for words

I keep trying and trying

Yet all I do is lose the race

I keep thinking what separates my life from yours and what led to you having a happy ending

I keep on thinking of the irony of us switching roles

You're everything I wanted to be

I was everything you once wanted to be

I can't help but the feel the jealousy

Feel the inferiority

Feel everything you once felt towards me

How did we end up here

D

Written on: March 29, 2021