I'm Sorry (I Really Am)

I don't think I ever apologized

at least not sincerely

what am i to say sorry for though?

I guess i'm sorry i never saw you clearly

I saw you as my brain painted you

the lies were highlighted in neon yellow

so bright they fogged up the highlights

your smile and the way you'd make me light up like a firecracker

It brushed across the golden years

the inside jokes and the drying of tears

the laughter and awkward silence of teens

too afraid to ruin something good and something welcoming

Sorry to you

To a boy I say I loved dearly

Hope you're doing okay

I wish I had the courage to tell your sister I send well wishes

That I'm sorry for any negative feelings

Any and all bad vibes

I'm sorry for sticking my stupid head back in

But at least you know that it was over

so now you never have to think about me again

I hope you know I still think about you

even if its not for happiness or to reminice

I hope you never think of me again

That my name is erased and that've you've forgotten my face

The bangs that covered my eyes

My hair longer than it's gonna be ever again

A color that came naturally to my scalp

A face that isn't covered by a black cloth or tape

My black backpack and my running sweaters

my two pigtails and the hair clips i had just started wearing

crooked and unkept

my hair turned wavy when i left

i hope you've forgotten it all

I'm sorry buddy

I'm sorry if i hurt you at all

I take the blame

I admit my faults

I wish I could hit send

I wish I could tell you in person

but id rather not see you

we both know its for the best

just know that im sorry

and this time i actually mean it

Written on: October 20, 2021