Chapter 162: Chapter 82.2

moments, when they were around each other, were disappointingly rare. after cassian admitted that he hated himself for hurting yernia the other night, he had been deliberately avoiding her since then. she couldn’t even see his face during the day because he had a meeting with the troops and he would only come in just before yernia fell asleep at night.

“let me carry it for you, my lady.”

“no, i can lift that much. i’m strong enough to do it.”

perhaps, cassian was creating distance between them because he was unable to cope with his guilt. it didn’t make sense if that wasn’t his problem. although yernia couldn’t wash away the fear that hurt him, she could appeal to him if she told him that she was alright over and over.

“yes. you might be strong but this is too heavy for you, my lady.”

“that’s right.” sinira, who was sitting in a chair behind vic, seconded. “if you drop the keg, all the alcohol inside will be wasted.”

her tone was snotty but she didn’t find any offense in it.

“sinira, i told you to change that tone.”

“who do you think you are to tell me that?”

she heard sinira complain about espers once and yernia didn’t know why she couldn’t remember that fact now. she ignored the bickering pair and tried to lift the barrel by herself. as soon as she bent down and wrapped the large barrel in a tight embrace, she was able to raise it up to her knees before she heard the sound of footsteps approaching.  suddenly, an outstretched arm intercepted the barrel she was lifting.

“to where?”

cassian settled it on his shoulder without breaking a sweat.

“what?”

“where should i put  it?”

the only enjoyable experiences in this place were having enough rest before going to battle and drinking and praying for victory along with their fellow comrades who suffered. that was why vic, who had asked for alcohol from the village, tried to move it to the food supply tent but got caught by yernia. yernia thought it was a good opportunity to get cassian’s attention so she asked vic to laugh out loud. now, vic was dumbfounded upon seeing his superior holding the keg.

“oh, this way.”

moving the alcohol wasn’t specifically classified, but it was never a major’s job. however, since he already said that he would do it, it was strange to stop him. vic had no choice but to guide cassian to the food supply tent.

“i should have carried it.” yernia murmured in regret while following cassian’s footsteps. cassian, who was following vic with a barrel on his shoulder, glanced down at her

“what if you drop it and bother me, afterward?”

“i’m stronger than you think. you’re just clueless.”

yes. it was impulsive of her to carry the keg. no matter how much she tried to show herself smiling and having fun with others in his face, it was useless since cassian didn’t look like he cared.

“now that i look at it, i think you just want me to pay attention to you.”

of course. what else could she do? now that she thought about it, she realized it was too reckless. even if her back was alright, her stomach still hurt and it hadn’t been long since she healed.

“by the way, cassian, are you busy?”

“a little. why?”

“nothing. you seem too busy these days.”

after that short conversation, they reached the food supply tent as vic said. yernia followed cassian inside. after putting the barrel down at the corner, he straightened his spine. yernia glanced around and found out that only the two of them were there. vic was outside, and cassian happened to be looking at her. an opportunity was still an opportunity so she had to seize it.

“…….”

yernia tried to grab cassian’s hand but before she could reach it, cassian turned around. yernia’s hands, which had nowhere to go, floated in the air.

“i’m busy.”

“huh? oh, uh….”

“don’t try to carry things like this by yourself.”

“yes.”

cassian glanced at yernia, who was only looking at his left hand, before quickly slipping out of the tent.

“what the hell?”

it was a little shocking.

yernia was about to guide cassian a while ago. she thought it would be better to do it when both of them were alone rather than being around others. she couldn’t even do it because he was claiming to be busy. by the way….

“cassian!”

yernia left the tent late. as she hurried after him, who was already far away from her, cassian stopped.

“give me a minute.”

“why?”

“why? i have something to say.”

she could vaguely guess why cassian was avoiding her. it was probably because of the guilt he had.  however, she was a little flustered that she didn’t know if it was alright to ask why he was increasing the distance between them alongside this awkward avoidance. his eyes were blank and cold as he looked back at her.

“sorry, yernia. i don’t have time for you now.”

yernia’s brows furrowed in confusion. now, she had no idea if it was really guilty. maybe there’s another reason. cassian chose to return to the military members over yernia who couldn’t understand his behavior. somehow, he felt distant.