Chapter 163: Chapter 83.1

after that day, cassian became busier as if he couldn’t spare her a moment. she once stayed up all night to catch him before he slept and leave early in the morning. she also went to the cliff where she was supposed to see cassian the other day, but their relationship didn’t change.

“you’re avoiding me on purpose. is it because i got hurt because of you? or did you have another reason?”

“it’s not your problem. it’s mine. i think i need to keep my distance for a while.”

nothing changed even when she tried to talk. by that time, yernia was offended, too. she was trying to understand cassian, but she got angry at him because she got emotional.

“why are you keeping your distance from me? is it hard to spare me some time? you need guidance, too.”

“it’s nothing like that. what will you lose if i avoid you, anyway?”

“what?”

“do i have to listen to everything you say? i don’t think it’s bad for you either.”

cassian’s was correct. still, cassian seemed rather cold compared to the place where they had this conversation. the cliff where both of them promised to come and play together had a beautiful view. recently, he took the time to visit the cliff with her even if he was acting like he couldn’t be bothered. she arrived there expecting to have a good time with him as before, but he was too silent.

“cassian, i——-

“there’s nothing to apologize for. it’s not your fault. i’m not even mad at you. yernia, i….”

despite being cold earlier, cassian tried to explain but he became more frustrated with himself. he couldn’t stand the situation and he hated himself for making things awkward. yernia didn’t question cassian anymore. she didn’t even ask for his time because he needed it as well. cassian had avoided her until now, making her so nervous that her heart might as well explode. yernia had no intention of blaming him so she decided to be patient. she wanted cassian to organize his thoughts first before coming to her.

“aren’t we going to ride it together?”

she thought that the distance between them had narrowed at first. immediately after getting angry at the cliff, cassian sighed and followed after her who already went down. he was acting cold a while ago so why was he running after her now?

“yernia, are you angry?”

“i’m not angry.”

their conversation had continued since then. yernia tried her best to remain calm and detached until cassian felt it himself. the only moment where she had given him undivided attention was during guidance so it was only natural that the time they spent together decreased as the days went by. cassian also tried to receive yernia’s guidance as well.

“are we holding hands again today?”

“yes.”

‘you said holding hands is not enough.’ yernia thought. nevertheless, she met cassian’s demands without any questions. the gap that had widened over time hadn’t narrowed until the demon’s conquest ended and now they only had a day left before returning to the capital.

“there’s a horse i can ride. i’ll just follow you behind.”

“…….”

yernia got on the carriage and stared at cassian standing outside. they had ridden the carriage together when they went to the north, but suddenly, he wanted to go home while riding on a horse alone.

“can’t you ride with me?”

“…….”

cassian, who was about to close the door, paused. he looked down at yernia blankly and sighed before getting into the carriage.

“…….”

sitting across and not right beside her, cassian regarded yernia square in the eye. he couldn’t figure out what she thought so he didn’t know what to say, either. it was the first time they talked so little, and it was also the first time that they became awkward. in the past, they used to reconcile quickly even after a fight or an argument.

“until when will this last?” the carriage slowly began to move. yernia, who had been silent for a long time, plucked up her courage and asked.  “how long are you going to keep your distance?”

she tried not to sound upset, but she had no idea if it went well.

“i don’t know.”

“…….”

“i want to keep my distance from you until i think i’m safe.”

yernia wanted to ask him when it would be safe, but she couldn’t. she didn’t want this to end in a fight like the last time. she didn’t want to fight cassian.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about. before———-”

she was about to ask if it was alright for her to stay but the carriage suddenly stopped. when her body tilted forward, an arm grabbed her waist and helped her regain balance.

“are you all right?”

when she opened her eyes, she was already sitting on cassian’s lap. he was trying hard to be indifferent but when he looked at yernia in concern, he became emotional without realizing it.

“it’s all right. i’m not hurt. you?”

“as you can see.”

yernia’s butt stayed in cassian’s lap like glue. she didn’t think about scrambling away in shame. the carriage hadn’t started for some reason as if something was wrong from the outside. yernia and cassian could find out what happened but they were too busy looking into each other’s eyes.

“is my lap too comfortable?”

he smiled softly as put his arms around yernia’s waist. the smile was nothing different from before. it made yernia feel so relieved that she had dozed off without realizing it.

“yes, i’m afraid i have to stay like this.”

“i didn’t expect you to say that. you said you didn’t want to sleep on top of me.”

“it’s a long time ago. didn’t you know how surprised i was? i really thought i was going to die earlier!”

cassian’s eyes narrowed. yernia coughed and cleared her throat in embarrassment.

“so you’re really going to stay like this?”

“i can’t?”