Christmas

BROOKE

The last few days before Christmas just fly by in a haze of busyness, to the point where I barely get to spend any time with Colin or Sydney.

However, I’m surprised that neither of them seem to mind at all. They’re both enjoying each other’s company, like they’re off in a world of their own.

Colin watches Sydney on Christmas Eve for a bit so I can finally run out and do my last-minute Christmas shopping. I invite him to spend the night, too.

We’re already spending most of our nights together, either at his house or mine, but it feels extra special to come home cold and exhausted lugging bags full of toys, and have Colin there to warm me up and help me wrap everything.

We fall into bed together after midnight, clothed, to make sure there’s no risk of Sydney finding us indecent in the morning.

I know how Sydney comes bombing into my room every Christmas morning, excited to open the presents and look for any Santa clues.

One year I left footprints on the floor walking toward the fireplace, and Sydney spent most of the morning taking measurements to determine Santa’s foot size. I think I’ve solidified that Santa is real for a couple more years.

Sure enough, “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! SANTA CAME! HE CAME!” yells Sydney after a too-short night, jumping on our bodies and making us groan for more sleep.

Once Sydney has destroyed the family room opening up the presents from Santa, it’s time to hand out the ones to and from all of us. Sydney and I both give Colin his gift.

It’s not much since I totally freaked out, overanalyzing to figure out if I should give him a gift at all. I mean, this relationship is new, and I didn’t know how he was going to feel about gift-giving. But he accepts the brightly-wrapped package easily enough.

I sit on the couch, practically eating my cuticles as he opens the box. Inside is a frame Syd and I picked out together, holding the picture of the three of us from the Enchanted Village. There’s another wallet-sized picture for him, too.

“Awww! My two girls! This is great, thank you.” Anytime he talks about his girls, my heart melts a little more.

“It’s just a little something from Syd and I,” I say shyly.

“We sent the same photo to Sophie and Jacob!” Sydney chimes in.

“And your parents,” I add. I felt a little awkward about that too, sending gifts to Colin’s family when I’ve only met them once, but Colin’s bright smile seems to indicate that it was the right choice.

“OUR TURN! Right, Colin?” Syd jumps up, running back to the tree to grab a small wrapped box and hand it to Colin.

“This is for you, from Syd and I,” he says, handing it to me.

“You guys got me something?” I reply, shocked.

“Just a little something,” he says with a wink.

I open the box to reveal a rose-gold bracelet with charms scattered around it. I gasp. It’s gorgeous, and it looks really expensive. “Oh my god! Colin!” My mouth drops open. “I—I just got you a silly little picture, this, this is too much!”

“It’s not silly. I love my gift, it’s perfect,” he corrects, getting off the chair and kneeling in front of me with the gift on my lap.

“Here,” he says, taking the bracelet out of the box and clasping it on my wrist. “Three heart charms,” he begins to explain. “One from Syd, one from Luna—that was Syd’s idea—and one from me.

“Then a foot charm… ’cause… you know, that’s how we first met. Although maybe I should’ve got a gun instead, because now that I remember, I think you wanted to kill me!”

I laugh and nudge him in the chest a little at that. “And finally, a football charm. I want this to be a symbol of how football has brought you to where you are today.

“My wish for you is to see all the good in your life, not just the bad. A beautiful, amazing daughter, a successful business, and… me.” he concludes with a smile. I’m tearing up a little now, lost in his enchanting eyes.

“It’s beautiful, Colin. Thank you.” I try to sniffle back the tears building in my throat. I’m so taken by his incredible gift, the thoughtfulness, the symbolism behind it all.

I’ve been trying to at least hide the PDA from Sydney, but I can’t hold back this time. I cup his face and bring him in for a kiss.

“I love you, Brooke,” Colin whispers in my ear, and seals it with another kiss.

My body goes numb as he pulls away. His face looks so sincere and calm, while I don’t know what to say. He doesn’t look like he expects me to say it back right away, at least.

I know that I let down my walls and finally let him in, but saying those words to a man again seems… almost impossible.

There’s still some part of me that believes falling in love means giving Colin my heart knowingly and expecting that it will someday in the future be returned to me battered, bruised, and broken… just like all those other times.

I do feel like Colin is different, and I can’t imagine him doing anything to hurt me right now, but this is still so new, and I’m still so vulnerable. I just can’t bring myself to say it.

“I helped him pick it out!” Syd chimes in, snapping me out of my thoughts. I throw my arms out for her to come and give me a hug. “Thank you, baby, I love it!” I say, kissing her forehead.

Then Colin turns to Sydney and tells her to open a certain present to the right of the tree. It’s a big, square package, and when she tears the wrapping paper and opens the box, it reveals a football helmet, a jersey, and an envelope.

“Wait… FOOTBALL LESSONS!” she screams, reading the piece of paper. Colin looks back at me to make sure I’m OK with this, but my mouth has dropped open with surprise.

“Private… safe… lessons for her to learn. Given by the greatest player alive, ME!” he says with a silly cocky smile.

I can’t contain my laughter. I’m so thankful this has cleared the air from any lingering tension around Colin’s love confession.

“And how are you going to do that?” I say with sass in my voice. “Seems to me you’re still supposed to be gentle with that foot of yours.”

“I have the greatest physical therapist who’ll get me there,” he answers confidently.

We’re both taken by surprise when Sydney comes running up behind Colin, throwing her arms around him in a giant bear hug.

“Thank you, Colin!” Syd nuzzles her face in his neck. I bite my lip, and out of instinct I throw my hands over my mouth to hide my expression as I choke back tears.

Syd is always an exuberant kid, but the love that shows in her voice and face for Colin... I’m speechless. I’ve never seen her act that way around John, and I’ve never seen John return the emotion toward her either. But Colin does.

I think he’s as shocked as I am at how affectionate Syd is acting, but he eagerly returns the hug, squeezing her tight and kissing her cheek.

“Only the best for you, sweetie,” he answers, sounding a little choked up. I can’t hold back my own tears anymore, though I still do my best to keep myself silent.

If I let it out, I know it would come with the ugly crying sounds. The kind that you only let out when you’re alone in the shower, or in bed with a pillow over your head.

I clear my throat and get up, collecting the torn wrapping paper and heading to the kitchen to collect myself.

There is still one present left for Sydney: the envelope that says “John,” containing the tickets Colin got weeks ago for Sydney. I haven’t told her anything yet. Colin still wants me to tell her the tickets are from John, but I’ve never felt right about that.

Especially now, after seeing them together, I know in my heart I can’t allow it. John doesn’t deserve any recognition for something he didn’t do.

Besides, there’s less than zero chance of John actually showing up to watch that game with her, box seats or no. A gift is only as good as the person you share it with.

I walk back into the family room, and Sydney notices me right away. “Mom! There’s a gift under the tree for Luna!” As she rips into it, I notice that the tag on the torn and discarded wrapping paper says it’s from Denise and Roger, Colin’s parents.

I look over at him to see if he’ll give away what it is, but he shakes his head like he has no idea.

“AWWW! It’s a doggie sweater! Come here, Luna!” Syd says as she grabs Luna and throws it over her head.

“Oh my god!” I can’t help laughing at how cute Luna looks, fur sticking out under bright red wool with white trim like a Santa coat.

“Oh my god is right,” Colin says, wearing a sour face. “I need to have a serious talk with my mom.”

“What? She looks cute!” I say, laughing again. I bend down to pet Luna. My little troublemaker is loving all this attention.

“Dogs don’t need sweaters. She has a full coat of fur! Plus, we’re in North Carolina; it’s like 85 degrees outside right now!” he argues, but that just makes me laugh even more.

“Is that another present?” Sydney asks, noticing the envelope in my hand. I look at Colin and give him a look.

“Yup, one more gift. This one’s from Colin,” I say, pulling the tickets out of the envelope so Syd doesn’t see John’s name.

“...And your mom,” Colin chimes in, smacking my ass. I don’t think Sydney saw, but I turn and give him a look anyway.

After Syd takes the tickets from me, Colin grabs my waist and forces me down so I'm sitting down on his lap. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his head in the back of my neck as we watch Sydney realize what she’s holding.

“TICKETS TO THE BUCS AND PANTHERS GAME! OH MY GOD!!!”

We both can’t help but laugh in pure joy, watching her reaction. She’s even more excited than I thought she would be.

She runs over and tries her hardest to wrap her arms around both of us, but instead she ends up just pushing her weight on us. Colin gives in to the force, causing all three of us to fall back in a pile on the couch.

“I love you guys!” Sydney says, still embracing both of us.

This whole day has been so amazing. I can’t help the rush of feelings invading my body as we all laugh together on the couch. We feel so much like a family.

It’s the loving family of three that I always wanted with John... but Colin is the one who’s giving that to me. Colin is the one here with us, pampering us with his love, the man I’ve always dreamed about.

He’s the father I’ve always wanted for Sydney.

I’m afraid of saying those three words to Colin. Revealing how I feel, giving him everything I have, everything in me. But I can’t deny to myself anymore how I feel about this man.

I am... completely, without a doubt, over my head... in love with Colin Scholtz.