Pity

BROOKE

The week goes by like a flash. Luna is home, recovering with the doggy cone on her head. She hates that thing, but I love it!

It’s only supposed to keep her from chewing on her stitches, but it has the added bonus of making it way harder for her to reach the toilet paper and drag it all over the house.

It hasn’t stopped her from trying, though. I’ve walked into the bathroom at least three times to find her whining, her head shoved against the wall and her little teeth snapping fruitlessly at the tissue just out of reach.

Finally it’s Friday, just a few minutes till my next appointment with Colin.

“What are you up to this weekend?” Julie asks me.

“John’s back in town, so he’s finally taking Sydney for the weekend.”

Julie grins. “It’s about time. Sydney must be excited!”

“Of course she is. But last time he was in town, he just took her out for dinner one night and then let her watch TV the rest of the weekend. We’ll see if he actually has anything kid-appropriate planned this time.”

I sigh heavily, always expecting the worst from John.

“You should go out too, Brooke. You deserve a little fun.” I roll my eyes, knowing that I’ve probably got a date with a bubble bath and not much else this weekend. “I have a friend of mine, Davis. He’s interested in taking you out and meeting you!”

“Julie,” I grunt, “I thought I said no more setups!”

“Oh, come on! This guy is thirty-seven years old, and he’s a financial adviser. He doesn’t even watch football on TV!”

“I can’t.” I shake my head, trying to shut Julie down.

“Brooke! You are wasting the best years of your life.” She throws her hands up in the air, frustrated.

“I am not,” I say, rolling my eyes again.

“You always stay in! You haven’t been with anyone since John.” Julie’s only speaking the truth, which makes me all the more aggravated.

“Aren’t you lonely? I read an article recently that said women in their mid-thirties are in their sexual prime,” Julie adds, with no filter as usual.

“Julie!” My eyes bulge wide when I see the door opening and Colin walking in.

My stomach flutters and my knees almost give way beneath me. I feel dizzy from my erratic breathing as his eyes lock on mine and a slow, devastatingly gorgeous smile spreads across his face.

What is going on with me? I thought I locked Pandora’s box for good, and now I find none other than cocky Colin Scholtz somehow making my lady parts tingle?

Maybe I was wrong about him. He was very sweet with Sydney, and he didn’t judge me like so many people do when he learned I was a single mom.

Plus, let’s not forget how he dropped everything to take Luna to the vet, without a second thought. He even paid the bill, which I didn’t find out until the receptionist casually informed me that everything was taken care of.

That reminds me, I have to pay him back. It was a super-nice gesture—kind of an overwhelming gesture, if I’m honest—I mean, I can pay for my own dog and her stupid behavior.

“It’s true! They did studies!” Julie keeps talking, pulling my eyes and concentration from Colin. “Women in their thirties showed the highest levels of self-confidence, enjoyment of sex, and the most satisfying orgasms!”

Julie wiggles her eyebrows up and down at me, and I suddenly want to die or hide under the desk. There’s no way Colin didn’t hear her talking about orgasms as he approached us at the reception desk.

“M-Mr. Scholtz…” I stutter, hoping he didn’t catch everything, but the cocky smile he can’t seem to hold back paints a different picture.

“Brooke, I thought we were on a first-name basis by now,” he teases.

I blush even more at his beaming, handsome smile. “R-right. Are y-you ready?” I ask, turning from his gaze nervously before I melt into a puddle on the floor.

“What should I tell Davis about this weekend?” Julie asks loudly. She’s sitting now with her chin resting on her arms on top of the desk. She knows exactly what she’s doing by asking that in front of Colin.

Goddammit, Julie, I think as I give her another good death glare.

“Is that a yes?” She smiles like a Cheshire cat.

“No!” I shout firmly, walking off with Colin following.

“Who’s Davis?” he questions as we enter the exam room.

“No one.”

“A date?” he probes again.

“One that I won’t be going on!” I insist, rolling my eyes.

“Why? Is he a football player?” Colin chuckles through his words.

“No! You wiseass! He’s apparently a thirty-seven-year-old financial adviser.”

“So you’re not just avoiding football players now. Are all financial advisers assholes too?” he says with yet another cocky smirk.

I give him a look and roll my eyes again as I flick the lights off and illuminate the light board on the wall. I put an MRI scan up on the screen.

“I thought you might find this amusing,” I say.

On the screen is the X-ray of Luna’s belly that I got from the vet. Colin’s headphones show up as a long streak of white, like a very skinny snake.

“Now, that is something you don’t see every day,” Colin replies, in a fit of laughter. After a moment I start to laugh along with him.

“I also thought you might want these back,” I say, holding out a plastic bag with headphones inside.

Am I being flirty? Maybe. Maybe I don’t care.

He takes the bag a little gingerly. “They gave these back to you…?”

“What? You don't want to stick your now slimy pair of headphones back in your ears?” I laugh at his facial expression before taking back the bag and throwing it in the trash.

“Figured I owed you a new pair,” I say, handing him the box of brand new headphones I'd been hiding. “Considering you paid Luna’s bill,” I probe, confronting him with raised eyebrows.

Colin looks down at the exam table, avoiding my gaze.

“Thank you, Colin, but you shouldn’t have done that.” I pull out my checkbook. “Please tell me what the damage was so I can pay you back?” I ask with a click of the pen.

“Don't worry about it,” he responds sternly, still avoiding looking at me.

“I’m not letting you pay the bill!” I retort.

“I wanted to.”

“Why?” I question.

“They—they were my headphones…” he tries, but it sounds like an excuse.

“In ~my~ dog’s stomach!” Colin keeps avoiding my gaze, running his hands through his hair like he’s nervous or wants to say something.

“What’s wrong?” I probe.

He took a deep breath before finally looking at me. “Sydney told me who her father is. You’re John Moore’s wife, or ex-wife.”

My heart sinks and my stomach turns. Leave it to my daughter to share the one thing I most wanted to keep secret while I was training Colin.

“I was never his wife,” I correct, staring at my lap, the floor, anything else in the room except for Colin’s eyes on me.

“It all makes sense now,” he says.

“What do you mean?” I finally look at him.

“You hate me for replacing him, don’t you?”

“N-no,” I say, looking down again, probably looking like Luna always looks when I catch her doing something bad.

“Yes, you do. That’s why you didn’t want to work with me from the beginning!”

“Okay, fine. It—it may have started out that way…but I was wrong to blame you. I know it’s not your fault.” I look up at him helplessly. “I—I’m sorry,” I say sincerely.

“You said, during that first session. You said you’d seen injuries like this destroy men like me. You were talking about John, weren’t you? And that’s why you think I won’t play again, because he couldn’t.”

I sigh and try to rub the stress off my face. “Like I said before, I’ve been around football players like you my whole life. The game is all you guys care about. You live and breathe it and without it, you’re lost.

“Then when you get hurt…the game, the fame, everything is gone and you’re left with nothing.” I sigh, trying not to choke on the lump that forms in my throat thinking about that time in my life with John.

“Look! I’m sorry that’s what happened to John, and I’m sorry you had to deal with it,” Colin states angrily. “But you shouldn’t assume everyone will be a disappointment to you, especially without giving them the chance first to prove you wrong.”

I shake my head sadly. I know he’s right, even though I don’t want to admit it. I’ve put up high, thick walls to protect myself from ever getting into that painful situation again.

“I’ll prove you wrong,” he adds, looking vulnerable. I want to believe him; something inside me is pulling me to give him a chance. Professionally speaking only, of course!

“All right then, prove me wrong,” I reply with a small smile.

“Okay,” he says, with a twinkle in his eye that makes me shiver.

“Let’s get to work,” I suggest.

We work mostly in silence today, locking eyes every once in a while. I show him the exercises and then keep myself busy on my computer, inputting his notes while he performs the multiple sets.

“Okay, last one for the day, then I set you free,” I say, trying to lighten the mood with a little humor.

“Straight-leg raises. This helps maintain hamstrings and quads. You can do this at home too, with or without the boot on,” I state, bringing his leg up over my head as I hold his knee to lock it in place.

“So, you and John aren’t together anymore, I take it?” he asks, sounding slightly nervous.

“No.”

“And Sydney?” His question makes me shake my head in frustration.

“She idolizes that man, and all he’s ever done is let her down,” I answer, feeling a bad taste in my mouth.

“Does she know everything that happened?”

“Bits and pieces,” I answer sadly. “I try to keep it that way so she can respect him on the rare occasions he visits her.

“He’s supposed to take her this weekend, but I’m waiting for the last-minute cancellation call like always. Leaving me to deliver the bad news and break her heart. God, he gets me so angry!” I stop myself when I realize I’m starting to rant.

“I really am sorry for everything that happened,” Colin says. I look up at him and my stomach knots. His eyes hold so much pity.

It’s the same pity that I’ve always seen in everyone else’s eyes when they find out that I’m a single mother, or that my father died and I have no other family, or that I never knew my mother because she didn’t love me enough to stay.

Pity is why I keep my life private. I’d rather people hate me than pity me.

I guess I was fooling myself, thinking that somehow Colin wouldn’t look at me like that.

Then it clicks. “You—you paid for Luna when you found out about John! Didn’t you?” I’m so pissed that my tone gets louder and louder. “You paid because you feel sorry for me!”

I spit the words, needing to stay pissed off so I won’t start to cry.

“What? No!”

“I DON’T need your charity!” I shout. I need to walk away or I’ll lose it. My throat burns as I fight to hold down the tears.

“Brooke!” Scholtz calls, but I walk away without looking back.

“We’re done for today!” I storm to my office and slam the door shut.

Tears escape my eyes as I pace back and forth in the office. Why does this affect me so much? Scholtz isn’t the first to pity me, and he won’t be the last.

Maybe I thought the gesture of him paying for Luna’s surgery was a special kindness he showed toward me? I stop pacing and halt in place at the thought.

Oh, God! That’s it! I was starting to like him? No! No! No! I can’t go down this road again!

I swing open the door and book it to the reception desk. “Julie!” I yell, startling her out of her work on the computer. “I changed my mind. I’ll go out with David!”

“Davis,” Julie corrects.

“Whatever,” I whisper. My eyes follow Colin as he walks out the door, aggressively running his hands through his hair.

Hopefully going out with David, I mean Davis, will get rid of all these thoughts about Colin. Because I have to pry Colin Scholtz out of my head!