20

Olivia Rodrigo - Traitor.

(In truth, the song doesn't exactly go with the chapter but listening to it and writing had me shedding like one tear, or two, lol. And she's good too, yeah)

~

Marcos woke up with a pounding head. His phone laid on his desk with the screen still on. He stared at it for a while before reaching out and holding it, staring at the notifications on it.

Messages from Mommy.

He didn't bother to read them. Instead, he opened his phone and called her. She picked after two rings, her voice soft as she spoke, "Baby?"

He sniffed, one hand going out to rub his left eye. "A? Sorry, I just woke up."

There were some noises in the background that he could tell was her adjusting her desk. She was always up so early reading. "It's fine. How are you? You sound exhausted,"

"I feel it," He said. The memories of yesterday coming to him in tiny fragments and danced around his head as he heard her say, "You remember yesterday?"

"Mhm," The sound came out from his chest like a small moan. "He... Probably thinks I'm weird—"

"He doesn't," Her retort came fast, sharp. Then he heard her sigh and say, "I shouldn't have triggered you without warning. I know how you feel about it. I just wanted him to know that side of you too. If we're going to be together—"

She didn't complete the statement, but he understood quite well where she was going. She wanted Paris now, with them.  Marcos wasn't sure how he felt about it. Sure, he wanted this, but could she ever love them... Equally?

"It's Sunday," He said, he was biting on his lower lip now. "Are you... Coming over?"

This was the first time the aftereffects of shifting out of his little space seemed to hit him. Hard. Like he was on a boat and everything kept moving . He didn't want to think of big people things. He just really wanted to be taken care of right now.

"Of course, princess. Just stay in bed, I'd get you something when I come over."

He nodded, his voice a bit drowsy. "O-Okay,"

Minutes later, he had his phone switched off with him buried under his comforter. His Mother had asked if he was alright but he hadn't answered her and she had left him alone.

Yet, somehow, after an hour of waiting, he found himself walking out of his room and down the stairs. Marcos had learnt, perhaps from his childhood, to sense bad things. Just like when Mother and Papa were fighting about his gambling. Or when Abuela was thinking of his Uncle and would rather be alone. Or when Alex didn't need him.

The feeling had grown ever since he had woken up, and now, as he listened to Maria speak in Spanish, he knew why.

"... Got back late last night when he went out with that friend of his. She keeps pushing my boy to his limits. I never understand it,"

Marcos paused at the top of his stair at his Mother's voice. The fact that Abuela wasn't defending Alex meant she was already at the church, so who was she talking to?

A low chuckle that sent terror through his body echoed through the house,  "Ah, and I was hoping to see him. It's been a while and I shall get quite irritated with the number of clothes piling..."

In other words, I will hurt him if I don't see him today.

"Sorry, Sir, he just— "

"Mother,"

Two pair of eyes turned to him as he reached the last stair. Marcos could feel himself slipping as he walked closer to her, the urge to hide behind her and tell her he didn't feel safe nearly overwhelming his senses but he didn't.

Instead, he stood as close as he could to her, with a reasonable distance and tried looking at the man in their house. "Mr Steinfeld,"

The male who had tormented him many times in real life, and his nightmares passed a smile of his that could make anyone beam, except Marcos knew firsthand it was fake.  "I already told you to call me, Andrea."

Mr Steinfeld Andrea stood with his hair patted in the middle, some over his face. He looked like he had just returned from his trip and came to him immediately.

Why?

"Mr Steinfeld came to see you," Mother said, walking closer to him and freezing when Marcos took another step away before saying softly, "But I don't know—"

"It's fine," For him to come over to thier house meant he wouldn't take a no from him, or anyone. Plus, prolonging this would just be him punishing himself. "He... Stay. Can stay,"

His voice had slipped but he had managed to return back again. Marcos felt his body shudder now. He had never lasted this long in his space, and his fear was growing by the second.

"Marcos—"

With three steps, he walked to the older man, pressing his face to his chest. His thick perfume flowed to his nose but he stayed still. He knew Maria would have questions eventually but she'd leave him alone.

She always did when she couldn't understand what exactly was going on with him.

"Okay, my love, take care of yourself and Mr Steinfeld."

Marcos kept his face on the blond male's chest until he heard the door to his house close and and arm of the male go around his waist and the other raise his face up, making him stare into blue eyes. "Oh dear, what do we have here?"

The polite, calm voice was gone now, leaving behind a cold, dangerous one. "You're a Little. What could have possibly triggered you that I didn't already do?"

Marcos felt the tears coming to his eyes at those words. The vulnerable feeling growing in his chest making him hate himself all over again. All he could think of was Bad, but the word refused to leave his lips.

"Hush, little one," He brushed away Marcos' tears, voice soft. "What do you want? Your blanky? Plushie? Or your pacifier? Tell me, and I'd give it to you."

Don't slip, Marcos begged himself. Yet, it was so hard. Being treated like this was what he was craving and refusing to go under was harder than he could explain.

He kept looking at the door, hoping Alex would walk in. He didn't even care how it looked if she did. As long as this man's hand wasn't around him. As long as Marcos could stop remembering Julian's voice in his head.

"Look at you, all obedient and sweet. I knew you wanted this. Acting all stubborn for no reason,"

"Angel?"

"Not... Here," He was shaking his head now, hoping this answer would satisfy him. He wanted to bite his nails, or play with his fingers, or squeeze something, but Andrea hadn't let him go yet. "Wifh mommy."

It didn't. Instead, his eyes darkened and the grip he had on Marcos' chin tightened, causing the male to try pulling away, but then it disappeared, returning back to soft ones. "Alright, alright. I came so we could go shopping. We could get new toys, hmm?"

"I no want—"

"Marcos,"

He froze now, his body responding to the dominating tone in his voice. "Don't be naughty and do as I want, okay?" Then Andrea leaned towards his ear and whispered, "Or your real mommy's going to know what her son has been doing behind her back."

A small sob escaped from his' lips but he shut them close so Andrea wouldn't hear him. The pleased looking male now smiled at him, patting Marcos' cheeks. "You don't have to worry about that, dear boy. After today, I'm letting you go, and you'd never have to worry your little self about me again, okay?"

His voice sounded honest, but Marcos had come to understand that Andrea wasn't to be trusted because of his temper. Because one minute, he was happy, and the next...

Still, he had come too far to give up now. Steinfeld was many things, but he wasn't a liar. If today was going to be the last, he would just get on with it then.

Just this once, and Alex would never know.

So Marcos nodded, his voice small, "O-Otay,"

He heard the male say 'good boy' but it didn't feel good. It made Marcos remember that he was anything but.

~

A

ndrea wasn't letting him go today.

Marcos found out he had meant it figuratively. That after they went shopping for clothes he wanted Marcos to wear, for a party on Friday, and after, would let him go, their deal ending permanently.

He had finally found a way to get out of his little space when he showered, sitting his bath tub when he was done and counting backwards. Alex usually joined him when he wanted to and he had tried calling her to join him but her phone was off.

At first, he thought she was with Paris, but he killed the thought. Sunday was their day, right? So she wouldn't. He knew Alex. She wasn't like that.

Besides, what would he tell her if she asked why he was doing it in his bathroom or why he couldn't just wait for her?.

That he wanted her to get him out of his space because there was someone outside taking advantage of it? Today was Sunday. No one was supposed to be with him.

And if she had come and seen him.—

Honestly, he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. For her to stay away, or for her to come help him. She didn't.

Now that he thought of it, he had been silly and stupid, but what was he supposed to do? He had gone to Andrea's house because the male had requested for a house delivery and Maria had needed the money so he did as she asked.

Only Marcos hadn't expected him to ask him about if he was aware that their laundromat would soon close up and he'd miss their services.

Of course, Marcos hadn't understood. Things like that, Maria never let him know about it. She always saw him as something fragile, as if she was afraid to show him her weakness, like she was scared anymore of it would break Marcos.

So Steinfeld had showed him.

Somehow, their debt was piling, and Abuela was sick. It wasn't really bad sick, but she needed drugs and Mother kept loaning more than she could repay and she had used their laundromat as collateral.

Marcos knew that if that was gone too, Maria would lose it, and he had been tired... Of being so weak about everything. If he were as smart as Alex he'd have tried getting a scholarship so she wouldn't have to worry about college, cause he knew she was saving for that too or maybe as rich as Paris, paid it off. Done something at least.

That was why when Andre had asked Marcos for some of his time, he had agreed. Of course, he hadn't known the extent of what that meant. He didn't know he'd have to follow him to lunch dates where he paraded off Marcos as a trophy to his business clients or get hit somewhere unnoticeable if he refused to entertain some of his guests.

Still, Andrea had never made a move on him and he had kept to his part of the deal, lessening their debt.

Except now, Marcos wasn't sure he could continue doing as he asked.

Andre had never taken him to big parties. Just lunches, that was always it and the clothes he was supposed to wear were already delivered, but there they stood, in a dressing room of Allure, Marcos watching as a sales girl walked in with a black velvet dress that had splits at both sides.

Entering had been hard because most of the people there knew him because of Alex, but the dress—

Marcos had dyed his platinum blonde, because Andrea had ordered so, even if he knew Alex would be hurt, or perhaps confused about it, but he had promised her he'd never wear something like that, unless it was for her eyes only. She hadn't made him do that. Alex never made him do anything, but this—

"I can't,"

Andre's face had twisted at the words, those his eyes remained on the receptionist. "Right. This isn't eye catchy enough. We need him shini—"

"I don't want a dress,"

He watched the man's eyes turn towards him and narrow at him. Marcos felt his heart beat fast at the action but he shook his head, stammering, "Anything— Anything but that."

"Hmm," Andre hummed, now turning around and placing the cloth back on the sales girl arms behind him. "Could you excuse us? And make sure no one disturbs us?"

Marcos felt sweat in his hands as fear flowed through him as the girl stared at him, before nodding. "Of course, Mr Steinfeld." And walked out.

Andrea reached Marcos in fast strides, his face in a sarcastic smile that made the boy's stomach churn. "I see someone's feeling all big. I liked you better when you were all weak and defenceless."

Marcos shuddered as Julian came to his head again but he fought the bile coming to his throat as Andrea continued, his voice now low. "What triggers you? Tell me,"

"I can't wear a dress," Marcos felt a little courageous flame light in his chest as he spoke, saying a bit more firm than before. "Give me something else, and I will, but this... I can't."

"Why not, baby boy?"

His eyes closed for a few seconds, his words coming out in a small breath. "Don't call me that,"

"Ah," A triumphant grin came to Andrea's face now. "Petnames,"

Marcos shut his head up at him, his eyes red as he screamed, "Stop using it against me!"

Yet, it was clear on the look on Andrea's face that he liked this. Seeing Marcos so restless. So broken in front of him. "Why shouldn't I? I quite enjoy it, little one. You're so... Adorable this way."

Why was he acting like this? Andre had never been this way for him. He was never nice to Marcos unless he wanted to hurt him. Infact, he always acted so disgusted around him and now—

"Pl—Pwease," The word came out in a splutter. His hands now pounding on Andre's chest weakly. He didn't know what to do anymore. He knew screaming would be pointless. Andre was powerful and if anyone saw this, they'd report it to Xander and Alex would know and he'd... He'd die from her anger.

"St— Stwop."

"Then wear the dress, honey." Andrea bent down to Marcos' ear, "And I will."

He looked up at him, tears glistening in his eyes. How could he say it? It felt hard to. The words not fully forming up as he said, "Pwomised... Mommy—"

He choked now as Andre's hand clamped itself on his neck, causing him to try pushing it away mouth as the male gritted his teeth at him, his face in a vicious snarl. "Stop calling that bitch's name. I don't give a fuck what you promised her. Do you understand?"

Marcos nodded, coughing immediately he was let go. He backed to the corner of the room, his body curled before he saw Andrea's hand taking off his belt.

"Turn around, and pull down your pants."

He shook his head. He was so scared. So very scared. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this. "I don't—"

A cry left his lips as Andrea's hand grabbed his hair, forcing him to look at him as the male said with venom. "You'd do as I ask, Marcos, because you know it yourself. You have been naughty and we all know what naughty boys deserve. Don't act like you don't want it. You've been going around with me, without your mommy's permission, and here you are, all crying and begging because you don't want to break one more rule which you know you would have to in the end. So turn, and take your punishment,"

No, Alex wouldn't want this!

Still, he wanted the pain to stop. Everywhere hurt. His heart. His head. If he hurt him, he'd let Alex go. He knew this already. All he had to do was obey, and everything would be fine.

So he let him.

With every blow, he stayed still. His teeth biting hard into his lip so he wouldn't scream. His ass hurt, but it took the pain in his heart and head away, so he could focus on that alone.

After, Andre threw some money at him so he would go home, telling him he'd see him again on Friday and walked out.

Marcos could feel the eyes on him as he limped out, wishing that he could disappear from everyone. All he wanted to do was curl somewhere and scream but he kept walking.

He didn't even know when it got dark and he was standing in front of his house, looking through the window. Mama and Abuela were both back, the former looking happy.

Marcos already knew why. She hadn't looked that way since Andrea came back and he wasn't sure about it. He didn't know if he was happy that she was happy again, or hurt that she had left him with some stranger but found it hard to leave him alone with Alex because he believed she didn't let him be his true self.

He walked past their house now, hands in his pocket and stopped at Alex's house. From where he could stand, he could hear the screams. Adriana was screaming at someone, and there was the sound of something breaking before Alex suddenly stepped out, slamming the door in the process.

Marcos eyes met hers and his heart stopped for a few seconds when she began to walk towards him, the lights on the street walk lighting her face.

Some part of her face was swollen and there was a bit of blood on her shirt with her having cut lips.

Adriana... Had never hurt her this bad before.

She reached him, her voice sad, "Eros, I'm sorry I couldn't—"

He wrapped his arms around her.

God, he felt like hitting himself now. He kept thinking she had been with Paris and had completely forgotten about Adriana. Alex didn't hug him back immediately, but she did, her voice soothing him as she said, "She wouldn't let me leave the house and destroyed my phone. I thought she was sleeping, I didn't—"

"It's fine," He said, giving out a small chuckle as he pulled away from her, quickly brushing the tears from his face. If she saw him crying, she'd get mad. She never liked it when he cried because of her. "I— Didn't mind,"

"Alright," He watched her try to smile but it was obvious that it hurt her to do so as she held his hand. "There's something I have to show you. Can you get on my bike?"

"I—" He stared at the thing, feeling his throat clog. Marcos couldn't sit on anything now, especially something like that and looked at her.

Alex stared at him too for a few seconds before nodding and saying, "Fine, we'd walk then, it's not so far."

It was. It was really far. Marcos knew it was because of him they were walking and as much as he needed to walk out, he could tell she was too tired to. Being with Adriana, he knew was exhausting, still, she enthusiastically tried to cheer him up, pointing at the things around. Things he already knew made him smile as they did so.

They got somewhere that had the forest close to it and all of a sudden, she began to pull him towards it.

Marcos followed behind, Alex now quiet. It was dark now, except the sky was bright and it looked like she knew where they were going. The only time he freaked out was when she suddenly paused and turned around, placing her hands on his eyes. "A,—"

"Shh, keep going, we're almost there."

Marcos stayed quiet but nodded, letting her lead him. There was a time when he hit his head on a branch and heard her laugh saying she wanted to know if he was really seeing before they reached somewhere that felt... Cool, like the trees weren't blocking the wind anymore and she took her hands away from his eyes.

They stood in in the middle of the forest, or it looked like it. Around them was a circle of grass, trees still surrounding them as Alex stepped in front of him and said, "Spent all day looking for this spot. I know how much you like picnics and I refused to do them because everywhere was too open. Hell, one of the reasons we went on that date was because I wanted to make everyone think you and him were together, not you and me."

"A—"

"I know, this is my own way of apologizing," Alex cut in, voice soft. It was clear that it upset her, talking about it. "I shouldn't have done that without your permission. Your space. It's delicate, but I'd have never let anything you couldn't handle happen. I love you, Marcos. You're my responsibility."

He walked to her, reaching out to touch her face. He didn't want her to keep talking about it. "Your face—"

Her face changed, becoming dark now. "I'm not asking about your ass, am I?"

He stilled.

Alex sighed now, resting her forehead on his. "Secrets suck, don't they?" Her voice went a notch lower as she closed her eyes and said. "I'm trusting you. Don't do anything too stupid. I'm— I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle you hurting me. Anyone else. Just not you,"

Tears were coming to his eyes. He didn't want to think about today now. "I love you too."

They stayed like that for a few seconds before Alex suddenly pulled away, looking around. "We could have our wedding here, y'know? Just me, you and —"

"Paris,"

She acted like she wasn't even surprised he said that. "I was going to say Abuela because we're having cookies instead of cake but I don't know about Paris though." Then she sat on the grass, staring up at him.  "We could think of him after like, our twentieth anniversary?"

A real smile came on his face for the first time as he joined her, hissing quietly. "He'd probably put a ring on our fingers while we're sleeping and get us drunk enough to sign a wedding contract,"

She turned to him and laid down, pulling him to her chest so he wouldn't have to rest his ass on the grass again. "Was that supposed to be sexy? It sounded sexy."

He held her tight now, his face buried into her neck. "I love you,"

"I love you too baby,"

He looked at her now, eyes expectant. "Always?"

She didn't hesitate, answering. "Always."

And Alex had meant it when she said it, Marcos knew that. He just didn't know he would be the one to remember her making this same promise on Friday when she saw him.