28

Lil Nas X ft Miley Cyrus- Am I dreaming?

~

"Hey,"

Alex felt a hand reach out for hers. Lighter than hers, but not... White, and when she looked at who it was, the face... Was all blurry, scratchy. The person laughed now. "Always so serious, A. Try relaxing sometimes,"

Another one clamped itself on her shoulder, thicker, heavier causing her to look up. This person was... Fairer. Pale, in a sense. Their face was the same with the other person, their voice more mature than the one that spoke first. "Honestly, Parker, I already do enough frowning for both of us."

"Who are you?" She heard herself ask, looking back at the other person seated beside her. "And... And why can't I see your faces?"

They laughed at her now. "Maybe you don't deserve seeing our faces."

Alex started. "No, I don't mean—"

The one behind her bent to her ear, whispering, "Oh, Alex, always destroying everything she touches."

"What —"

Suddenly, they held her head, slamming it into a basin of water. Alex had no idea where that came from but she was too busy struggling from his grasp, her eyes and throat burning as she did so.

And when she felt her resolve weaken, the need to breathe becoming too much for her to bear, the faces of the people she couldn't see appeared in the water as a reflection and the moment she tried looking, she felt herself gasp in.

Alex's eyes opened first before she slowly sat up, her hand reaching out to rest on her racing heart, her mind blank.

What had she been dreaming of again?

For the first few minutes, she sat that way. Her head empty, thoughts sorting through all the channels of her head, and yet, nothing, but she wasn't disappointed.

It wouldn't be the first time this was happening.

Her eyes moved around her new room now. It was spacious, quite empty like no one had ever lived there. The colours of the wall were a bland colour, nothing to signify an actual teenager stayed there, though Alex felt nothing like a teenager.

In fact, she felt nothing at all.

Slowly, she crawled off her bed, placing her feet on the floor before standing, her eyes pausing at the table next to her vanity mirror, filled with papers.

In it were the handwritings of her twin siblings. Abraham and Elizabeth. Abraham, the older one by twenty minutes had always been the more outgoing one, his writing making it clear he never bothered to take his time doing so, and Elizabeth—

It looked like she had taken her darling time to do so, every stroke and curve perfect.

They delighted in sneaking her letters all the time, writing down things about their day, every single detail, never missing out anything. Not like Alex didn't see them all day, she did, but when that happened, Father was always hovering around them, as if he didn't want them saying certain things towards her.

Even their letters always had a lot of cancellations, possibly because they had slipped in it, and she had no idea why.

Plus, it wasn't just them.

Everyone else avoided her, or perhaps, they didn't in a sense. They all spoke to her, but carefully, like they thought of their words many times before saying it, not that she ever even bothered to ask why.

Yes, her Father explained that she had lost certain memories but told her that they weren't important to begin with. Two years of her memories and nothing important? It was laughable. So much had changed.

The twins were different. Father was— Married to a man. Mother was dead, though no one refused to tell her why. They lived in Father's husband house. And— And according to everyone, Alex had graduated school early. That she had been the smartest even, which wasn't exactly true. She had been smart, but not the smartest.

Yet...

Yet, with all this revelations, she felt herself slowly creep into a shell. She tried, to remember. Tried her hardest, but nothing came. It frustrated her at the beginning, and her pride would not let her ask anyone for help, but with the days that came, she didn't ask anymore.

Instead, Alex stayed away from public eye. Spending her time in her room, reading. Living, but not exactly filled with life. It seemed like whatever could make her joyful was gone, or perhaps, she just didn't see anything worth bothering herself about.

Alia... Alia sometimes came around, but she had school, and... A boyfriend apparently. Not that she ever accepted that she was in a relationship with Alex, but she never truly admitted to it. Alex only found out because Alia could be too forgetful for her own good, leaving her phone open when she came over once.

Did Alex ask? No, she didn't. As she said, things were different. Everyone felt different. The seconds she spent with Alia didn't feel the same. Nothing felt the same. It seemed like she could trust no one. Speak to anyone.

All she had, were dreams. Though she could never remember it after she woke up, her brain begged her to hold onto it. That this, was important.

And she did try, many times to remember what her dream held, but the action once made her bleed through her nose and get a earful from Hezekiah who thought she was trying to remember her past memories, which for some reason, she didn't bother for.

Anything her Father seemed to believe would trigger her, he kept it away. Acting like she was a child that didn't know what was good for hee, but Alexandra didn't care. She could scarcely care for many things now.

Her brain, just refused to let her remember anything, only focusing on the dreams, and as she stayed alone, tried to figure out what she could, her ability to even socialize with anyone reduced drastically.

Anyone who spoke to her knew that talking to her was like looking at a soulless person. It was Alex, but at the same time, it wasn't. This person was quiet, cold. Distant. She was there, but she wasn't at the same time.

The only one who ever cherished her company was Alexander Parker.

He was a strange male, always spending an evening of every week with her, most times, she just sat with him while he talked, telling her stories that sounded unbelievable, and though she never interacted or replied, he was the only one that she felt a kindred spirit with.

And he was the one who had led her to the person that made her feel something ever since she woke up from her accident.

Alexander had walked into her room, without knocking. He never knocked, and she never bothered to tell him to. Currently, she was staring at the tattoo's on her chest and back, a curious expression on her face. "Do you— Do you know what they mean?"

"They mean many things," Xander said, his hands folded now. "And there's someone I'd like you to meet. Could you come out of your room for a few minutes?"

Alex stared at him, her head tilted. It was the first time she had ever heard him sound serious, and the first time he had ever asked her for anything.

She obliged.

Wearing her sweater, she walked outside her room slowly, her feet moving till she was staring down the stairs, her eyes narrowing at the person below that stood beside Xander.

He was not looking at her, but somehow, Alex could sense it. There was anger wafting from him. And pain. But most importantly, there was the same need to discover something, or prove something just like she was.

Though hers were her dreams, wanting to know what there were, she wanted to know what his were.

She walked down the stairs, her eyes never leaving his as she swept through his face. Perfect jaws, raven black silky hair, full red lips, and his eyes—

Green. Dark. Inviting. Like a green snake hiding in the grass, camouflaging as anything but what it was. She wanted to touch it. Feel it.

Alexandra wanted to know why he was this way.

"Alexandra," Xander said, his happy tone back. "Don't stare at our guest that way."

Alex didn't bother to even look up at him. Now, she walked around the male, sizing up every thing. All she could find. This man— He was at the hospital, wasn't he? With that crying one. Who was he? His boyfriend? Why was he here? "Who is he?"

"Your new bodyguard."

She paused behind him now, letting the words ring in her head before she appeared beside the dark haired male, her eyebrows raised. "My... New bodyguard? Why do I need one? I never leave the house."

There was a smile on her Stepfather's face though anyone could see that there was something behind it as he said, "You don't have to leave the house. His job is to be around you as much as possible. See him as... A new toy."

At those words, the male's face twitched though he said nothing to those words. Alex walked to the now violet haired male, staring at him again.

A freckled face that she wanted to count. Long and pointy ears that seemed elven, an aura that didn't feel like the ones that had been around her for so long.

Alex was getting... Excited.

"I can play with him?" Alex asked, turning to the man beside her.

He nodded. "Well, of course. Just try not to hurt him too much. He likes pain, but don't over exert him.

She turned to him again. "Does he speak? Yes, of course he does. I have heard him before, but he is... Different now. What is his name?"

"Paris. Paris Holmes."

After that introduction, Alex stuck to him, more than he should have stuck to her. After Hezekiah had found him, he and Alexander had a very ugly fight in his study, and though Alex couldn't hear one word they were saying, she was too busy paying attention to him.

He stayed quiet. Unyielding. Like he was wearing a mask of zero emotions. Like he wanted to act like this didn't affect him in some way, and it only made her want to know him more.

Since he went to her school, he could only be with her after school hours. Alex knew he must be a new student as she remembered nothing of him, and from the way Alia acted when he was around, it was clear they had a strained relationship, but Alex never asked.

Instead, she spent most of her time trying to get him to talk to her, say anything, but he always acted like she wasn't there. Eventually, her efforts paid off and one day, while she had been sleeping, she woke up and found him trying to solve an equation, sitting on her desk beside her.

For the first few seconds, she stared at him. The mask was gone, replaced with anger and frustration at the paper. Ever since they had met, her obsession with her dreams had gradually dissipated, though he now became the center of it.

Still, after she woke and helped him with it, he... Relaxed, just a little around her, finding out things about him that she didn't know.

One, he was smart.

She tutored him, using that as a way to get him talking, though it was very rare to get him saying it. Alex endured. It was pleasing, realizing that they had similar tastes with few differences. He felt like the half she never knew existed.

But then one day, on a Sunday to be exact, he didn't come.

She waited, confused at first, then walked to Xander's office. He sat there, a visible frown on his face though it went away the moment he saw her, replacing with a bright smile that could burn anything that came too close. "Alexa, what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Paris," Her emotions heightened. Boiled. Her brain racking as it demanded an answer for it's missing counterpart. "He didn't come today,"

"Is that a problem?"

"He's supposed to be by my side. Where is he?"

"Ah, yes. I suppose I forgot. Sunday's now his off days."

Alex stared like he had just slapped her, her mouth open. "What?"

"Ah, you remember that bunny looking male at your hospital room that day, yes? Paris requested to spend his Sundays with the male. Alone."

"Why?" That boy? Why? What was special about him. "Are they— Are they together?"

"I haven't a clue." Alexander said with a shrug. "Don't worry about it love, he'd be back before you know it."

Monday came and she wanted to ask. She had thousands of questions, but somehow the words never left her lips. For the first time, she noticed the difference when he was talking to the other male.

When Paris didn't think she was looking, she found him smiling, and talking to him. Something that upset her, and at the same time, piqued her curiosity.

She knew Paris. He was... In a way, like her, he couldn't admit his feelings, but with that male...

With the weeks that passed, Alex found herself leaving her house, a move that made her feel nauseous, but at the same time at peace. She found Paris' address, something he shared with the other male called Marcos Gomez, and then spent hours at a hill top that stated down at the houses below, with a binocular, watching them.

Studying them.

It became an obsession. To be near him. To be near them. They was this brightness when they were together. Blinding. Beautiful, and Alex liked to watch them, but once, she had forgotten to set her alarm and slept off on the hill, waking up the next day with about a hundred missed calls.

Getting home, there were close to a hundred men in black suits, walking all through the place like ants, and she had only scarcely managed to avoid them, using an empty hall before coming out of it to the sitting room that unfortunately, wasn't empty.

Alia was the first to spot her, immediately running into her arms. The brunette was crying, loud sobs leaving her lips, causing Alex to pat her back awkwardly and say, "I'm alright."

Hezekiah Parker was the next, storming towards her. Veins protruding from his forehead and his eyes livid as he demanded, "Where have you been?!"

Slowly, Alia pulled herself off Alex, standing beside the female as her poker face returned, her voice losing the colour it had around Paris as she said, "Out."

"Out?!" He snapped. "You left the house without telling anyone. Evading the guards that are meant to protect you. And spent a whole night outside—"

"Am I not allowed to leave?" She cut in, her voice coming out slow. Bored. Tired.

"You should have said something!" Hezekiah suddenly yelled, and then at the same moment, just as if someone had doused the flame of his anger with water, his voice shook as he said, "I thought that you had gone away, Alexandra."

Gone away? Why would she—?

"Alia, darling," A voice said as the owner walked into the room.

Alexander Parker bore a wicked look on his face as he sauntered closer, his hands clasped together, his smile only directed at Alia as he said, "I think this is a family discussion. Would you like me to order someone to send you home?"

Alia stared at him, her soft blue eyes contracting before she looked at Alex, her voice small. "I— I don't think that I should leave her—'

Xander was suddenly beside her now, his hand on her shoulder, smile still on his face. "Nonsense. You've spent all day crying and your eyes must hurt. Plus, I'm sure you don't want all those hours of skin care to go to waste. Come with me, Fairy. I'd make sure you're safe." And without giving her a chance to even disagree, began to drag her out himself.

The sound of Hezekiah coughing had her turning to him, her hand suddenly reaching wrapping itself around his back and leading him to a couch before giving him a glass of water.

She watched as he drank it, a small sigh leaving his lips before he returned the glass to her, patting the space beside him. "Come. Sit."

Alex did, her body rigid then looked at him.

For the first time, she noticed that her Father was... Older. She had never looked at him ever since she woke up, but through him, and now, she could see the gray hair peeking out. The wrinkles. The tired eyes.

He was old. And she hadn't even noticed it.

"You're stronger than I give you credit for," He said. His deep voice had turned somber, all anger gone as he stared at her. "But it is in my instinct to protect you. To care for her. All I want is for my baby to safe. Do you understand that?"

Alex said nothing.

"Alexander, he— He says that this isn't what I should do," Hezekiah continued, shaking his head. "That you have always had a fiery spirit. That even though now, you— It doesn't seem like it, it would return, and if I am not careful, I could lose you as well,"

As well.

"Is that what you meant by me going away?" Alex asked, staring at him now.

"Alex," He said, staring into her eyes now. "Adriana committed suicide."

At those words, Alex felt her eyes widen, her heart suddenly thumping. She had never known how to feel after she heard that her Mother was dead, but hearing the cause was different.

Suicide? What happened? Alex... Alex must have done something. She must have caused it. What—?

"It was my fault, my darling," Hezekiah said, shaking his head. He was a huge man, muscular at every side, but seeing tears leave his eyes was a new experience. "And— And I act like it is alright, but it truly isn't. Adriana was my best friend, and I loved her as much as my heart willed. She didn't deserve what I did to her."

What did you do? Father, what did you do?.

And yet, the words refused to leave her lips.

Hezekiah cupped his hands over hers, a silent plea in his eyes as he stared at her. "B-But, I was given a chance at redemption. With how things were going, I was losing you too, and God, I was so terrified. I was so scared, Alex. When I found out you couldn't remember it— That you couldn't remember most of it—"

"You were glad,"

"I know. What sort of Father takes joy in an illness of his child?" Hezekiah asked, "But I'm a Father that wants you happy. That wants to care for you in the times that I couldn't."

"What happened?" The words finally left her lips now, coming out like it stung her to even say it. To think it.

Her Father's eyes widened in fear. "Alexandra, I can't—"

"Do you know what it's like?" Alex asked, "To live so— Empty? Knowing that you should be filled, but you still feel like you're nothing? I do have memories of my past, but that's just what they are. Past. I live everyday like I just woke up from a dream. I don't even think what I remember is real."

"It doesn't matter—"

"To me, or to you?"

He stared at her, his brown eyes searching, as if hoping for an answer before he looked down, nodding. Then with one last squeeze of her hand, he stood.

With one hand on his walking stick, he stared at her, his eyes solemn. "I understand that I did not give you a choice, but you do. You could stay here. You could try remembering. You are a Parker, I'm sure you can. But— But you could be free. Make new memories. There's a reason why you can't even recall a single thing. Most people even have flashbacks, but you do not. No matter what your choice is, I will honour it, but Alex, I think it's time you put yourself first. For a change. Because whatever you choose, all of us that love you will never stop."

And then slowly, he limped out of the sitting room.

~

The last two chapters would be coming out sometime this week. Is anyone excited for the end? I know I am, lol.