18

"Alec." Jace's voice filled my ears as I stood in the doorframe that led to the roof of the Institute, my eyes watching him as he walked over to Alec, whom was firing arrows off the roof, then exploding in the sky.

After shooting a few, he faced Jace, keeping his aim steady, "Move."

Jace questioned, "How long have you been up here?"

"I'm glamoured." Alec dismisses, "No one can see me- move."

Jace sighs, "You can't beat yourself up."

"I'm not." Alec shot back, shaking his head.

"Who are you talking to?" Jace scoffs lightly, "It's me. I'm your parabatai- I know exactly what you're going through. What happened with Margaret, that wasn't you. That was the demon."

Alec raised his voice, "Get out of the way."

"Hey." Jace puts his hands up in surrender, "Same side, remember?"

"Come on, man." Jace urged when Alec let down his guard, putting the arrow back in his quiver, "Come back inside."

"That's the last place I want to be." Alec turned around, walking over to the ledge and further away from Jace.

"Alec, Valentine has the Soul-Sword." Jace followed him, and now Jace's back was turned towards me and I could no longer see his side like I was before, "He slaughtered the Silent Brothers, we need our best soldiers-"

I moved, my arms crossed, my back now leaning against one side of the doorframe, so I could see Jace's back and Alec's back towards him, but Alec hasn't spotted me yet, as I was hidden behind the metal stairs.

Alec spun around to face Jace and bursts out, his voice coming out as a yell, "Stop pretending this never happened."

"I couldn't save you from the City of Bones. I couldn't save you or Zee from Valentine." Alec's voice was shaking with anger and guilt, as it almost sounded brittle, "I-"

"She was Zee's mother." Alec exhales sharply, and how his voice broke killed me, "My girlfriend's mother."

My heart aches in my chest, as I slowly took a few steps from behind the stairs, coming into view.

"Nobody blames you." Jace was already telling him, in hopes that it would convince him.

Alec turned before his eyes could land on me, but I knew that from the corner of his eye, he saw me.

"They should." Alec activated a rune, then hopped off the roof, Jace rushing to the ledge.

He was avoiding me.

Jace turned, his eyes fixing on me, a sigh leaving his lips, "It's not your fault-"

"Jace," I whine lightly, feeling more guilt ping in my chest, "He's avoiding me."

"Zee-" Jace walked over to me, "I don't have the stamina to deal with two people filled with misplaced guilt."

"I know- I know- it's just-" I huff, "I feel- I don't know- I feel hurt that he's hurt. I feel weird saying that- but- It's so weird- I mean, he's guilty- but he's also off, so I'm off and I-"

"I'm pretty sure that's what happens when you're in love." Jace shrugged, "Because you're making no sense at all."

"Love is a-" I trail off, the word rolling off my tongue as if it was some foreign language, "Strong word, don't you think?"

Jace's lips purse, looking in the distance as if he were in thought for a few seconds, then looked back at me, shaking his head, "Uh, no- not when it comes to you two."

I roll my eyes lightly, sighing deeply, "He's beating himself up for something no one blames him for."

"Can you blame him?" Jace inhales sharply, "The look on your face when you broke down after you killed the demon- it probably sent Alec over the edge."

I stare at him, "How so?"

"That is the first time I've seen you cry in three years. It's the first time he's seen you cry in general." Jace mentioned, "And you full on- collapsed. The pressure that puts on him- I can feel it."

I sigh, admittedly speaking, "I couldn't help it."

"I know- you just lost your mom." Jace's hand rested on my shoulder, "How are you doing?"

"You've been by my side ever since it happened." I cross my arms, "You know."

"Yes- but, that's because you need me and I'm here." Jace told me, "We're the better version of Simon and Clary."

"Except, Simon's in love with Clary and you're not in love with me." I point out, raising an eyebrow.

"That's why I said better version." Jace winked playfully, then went back to serious, "No- really, are you okay?"

"I should be asking you." I dodged the question again, and he notices this, but decides to drop it because Alec avoiding me only made me even more upset about everything, "You just lost your mom too."

Jace stays silent, his hand dropping from my shoulder as he didn't know what to say to this.

"I'm sorry-" I blurt out, "You've been- worrying about me because I just lost my mom- and I haven't even given you the chance to think about how you feel- I mean, you just lost Jocelyn- I can't imagine how you feel right now."

"I don't know how I feel." Jace confesses, "I just thought I'd have more time with her, you know? To get to know me- as more than just an experiment."

"She would've loved who you became if she were still here." I whispered quietly, feeling sad for him.

Jace covered up the expression I could decipher, wrapping his arms around my shoulder, "I'm sure Alec will come around."

"I can only hope." I slowly walked over to the door with him so we could go back inside.

"Trust me." Jace squeezes me arm, "He can't stay away from you for that long."

-

I sat in Clary's room, my arms around her tightly as she sobbed into my chest, dampening the entire thing with her tears.

Clary's sniffles and sobs gradually came to a stop, her completely quiet, this worrying me.

My head tilts down as I looked at her, only catching a glimpse of her red hair, "Did you- die?"

"Zee-" Clary's voice was in a whisper and she sounded as if she was in deep thought, "Simon was dead."

"Yeah- he was?" I reply in a questionable tone, "Well- he technically still is, but he came back."

Clary slipped away from my hold and sat up, looking at me, her eyes red from crying, as she sniffles, gesturing with her hands, "Simon was dead, but then he came back."

I fixed my slouch and sat up, "Where are you going with this?"

"What if we could get my mom back?" Clary questioned, "What if we can both get our moms back?"

I began shaking my head, "Clary,"

Clary was already cutting me off and continuing, trying to persuade me, "Okay, but in this insane world I suddenly live in, things that I never thought could happen do happen, so maybe there is a way. Maybe- maybe we can get her back."

"Clary- trust me, you don't wanna do that." I shook my head again, "I know how much you loved your mother. But- you most definitely don't bring people back front he dead. Sometimes there are things you just have to accept."

"No." Clary denied, shaking her head right back at me, "I am not ready to accept this."

-

I came to Jace's side in the Ops Center arriving a little late for the briefing after I had changed out of my tear soaked shirt, Isabelle next to him.

"During the attack on the City of Bones, Jace Wayland fought bravely, and thus the Clave, in their wisdom, has exonerated him from all crimes." Aldertree announced, "And the chief physician in Idris reports that Lydia Branwell's condition continues to improve."

"Out of the infirmary in record time." Jace nods toward Isabelle, "You're looking good."

"I always look good." Isabelle smiles, "Why isn't Alec here?"

Jace glances at me, then inhales sharply, "He needs some space."

"We face a new threat." Aldertree continues, "Valentine has the Mortal Cup, and now possesses the Soul-Sword, two of the three Mortal Instruments. Our mission now is to find out what he plans to do with them, and when-"

I notice the look on Jace's face, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Jace sighs, looking around, "But- apparently no one else is, judging by the way they're all looking at me."

"They'd be looking at me like that too if anyone besides us knew I had demon blood too." I shot him a look, my voice low so only he could hear.

"Well- they don't- and they won't know." Jace said, his arms folded behind his back.

"Jace, I'm sorry for letting them take you to the City of Bones." Isabelle apologized, "I thought-"

"It's all good, Izzy." Jace simply said, "You saved Alec's life and mine. I would've done the same thing."

"Tomorrow night's rite of passage will bring the total number of dead to 26 fallen Silent Brothers and four Shadowhunters." Aldertree said, "Take this time to grieve and plan for what lies ahead, your orders will follow."

I held my arm, my palm gently resting over my bandaged wound, a silent groan leaving my lips.

Jace notices this, "Your arm still hurts, huh?"

"I'm fine." I inhale sharply, "Don't worry- just, make sure Clary's alright, okay?"

With that, I walked away.

-

I ran a hand through my hair, fixing the thin burgundy shirt I had on, making my way up to the roof of the Institute.

My eyes landed on Alec, his back turned toward me as he leaned against the railing of the metal stairs.

"Alec." My voice was gentle, as I hugged myself, the cool breeze blowing through my hair.

He doesn't turn, but I saw him wince at the sound of my voice.

I slowly walked over, standing in front of him, trying to meet his eyes, "Are you going to jump off the roof to avoid talking to me?"

Alec stares down at his boots, holding his hand that was bruised and red a little, "No."

"Alec- have you even slept?" I took a step closer to him, "How long have you been out here?"

Alec doesn't answer and keeps his stare on the ground.

"Alec- please talk to me." I was at the point of pleading, my eyes scattering his face to try and meet his eyes.

Alec swallowed, "I can't be in that Institute."

"Have you been too busy to Iratze your hand?" I called out, now crossing my arms, staring at him.

Alec barely reacted, "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." I argue, taking a step closer to him, my eyes still desperately trying to meet his, "You're hurting- maybe even more than I am."

Alec doesn't respond, staring at his boots, his head tilted down.

"Will you just look at me?" I moved, grabbing his face in my hands, making him look at me, my eyes connecting with his, "Alec."

His eyes were filled with hurt and regret, "I let a demon in, Zee."

"So did I, and I almost killed you." I stare into his eyes, "I know it wasn't you, I know that it wasn't your fault- I never blamed you for what happened to my mother."

"I don't know what to say to you." Alec's voice was now firm but slightly shaky, "I haven't been able to face you."

"You don't need to say anything." My eyebrows furrow in confusion, my thumb caressing his cheek as he leaned into my touch gently, "Alec- I don't blame you."

"When I almost died trying to find you and Jace," Alec mentioned quietly, "While I was unconscious, you told me you needed me."

My heart stopped at his words.

Alec pulled his face away from my touch, shaking his head lightly, "You don't need me."

"What?" My voice broke, tears filling my eyes, my hands falling to my sides, "Alec, I need you more now than I have ever needed you ever."

Alec stares at me, this conversation beginning to spark up an argument between us, denial crossing all his features.

"I need you to hold me and tell me it will all be alright." My voice sounded defeated and I was ashamed, "This isn't me, Alec- I don't break- and when finally something triggers it, and you're not there for me."

Alec took a step closer to me, "I killed your mother."

"The demon killed my mother!" I burst, my breathing becoming heavy, "But- no matter how many times I say I don't blame you- it won't change how you feel, and I don't know what to do anymore."

"Do you have any idea how I feel right now?" Alec questioned, and I could practically hear all the negative energy, "The look on your face when it all came crashing down after you killed the demon- it destroyed me. I watched you cry for the first time- because of something that I did. I inflicted that unbearable pain on you. I'm the reason your mother is gone- and it's right after you started rebuilding a relationship with her. I did this, Zee. I did."

I shake my head, the tears in my eyes slipping from my eyes. I couldn't bare hearing him blame himself.

His words made me feel even more sympathy for him.

Alec's voice fell, and I could see the tears beginning to fill in his eyes, "Every time I close my eyes- or even look at you- I can see you breaking down."

"I know you- and I know you will find the words." I stood still, my voice breaking once more, "It may take you a minute, but I've seen it up close."

"I went to your wedding." I pressed, then stepped back, "You'll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right."

Alec watched me as I walked past him and back towards the door, walking back into the Institute.

-

I grunt, my fist coming in contact with the punching bag over and over, despite the aching pain from the wound on my left arm.

There was a sheet of sweat on my body, while I had changed into black leggings and sports bra, my hair up in a pony tail.

Jace's voice filled my ears, "Need a sparring partner?"

I halt, my head turning towards him, noticing the two pairs of sticks in his hands.

"Sure-" I stepped away from the punching bag, unwrapping my hands, as he tossed me two sticks.

I caught them, getting a steady grip on them, taking a deep breath, before he swung, my hand flying up and blocking it with my stick.

Jace looks at me, "You okay? I saw you crying earlier- but, I had to deal with Clary."

"What's wrong with Clary?" My foot pushes him back, as I swung at him, back and forth as our sticks hit each other's.

"She found a warlock that uses dark magic to bring people back from the dead." Jace grunts, "She was cutting off a piece of Jocelyn and Margaret's hair because it's required for the process."

"What?" I dodged, "Are you serious? I told her we couldn't do that- that you're not supposed to bring people back from the dead."

"I told her the same thing." Jace swiftly dodged my swing, "In other news, Aldertree benched me."

I shook my head, "He can't bench you, you're our best Shadowhunter."

"He already did." Jace told me, swiftly dodging another swing, softly laughing at me as he took a few steps back, "Did Alec come home?"

"Yeah- we argued." I sigh, "He's stressing me out."

"He's still taking this really hard." Jace exhales deeply, "Give him some time."

"Jace, it's like I don't even have any more time to grieve over my mother because I'm worried about my boyfriend." I duck at his swing, "And, you're my best friend and have been by my side through this all- comforting me- but, my boyfriend hasn't even thought about doing so, ya know?"

"I'm sure he did, I can feel it, Zee. He will come around." Jace said, "Have you spoken to Clary?"

"I made some food for her, but she didn't wanna eat it." I grunt, kicking him back, "Instead she cried in my arms for the rest of the night."

Jace teasingly spoke, "Can you blame her for not wanting to eat it?"

"Hey, I can cook!" I spun, and within seconds he had me against the wall, his stick against my neck.

"Come on, Zee." Jace was grinning, "This is way too easy."

I shot him a look, pushing his stick again, "Don't get cocky."

Jace nods, taking a mental note, chuckling as we began going at each other once more, my arm in pain, but I kept going.

Soon, Jace had got me on the ground, as I hissed, grasping onto the bandage, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You all right?" Jace noticed this and crouched in front of me, "It's the demon wound, isn't it, on your arm?"

My voice was strained, as I opened my eyes, looking at him, "I'm fine."

Jace sighs, setting down his sticks, "Look, if the runes aren't healing it, you need to get it fixed."

"It's a work in progress, okay?" I slowly sat up, "I'll see a medic later."

"Might want to see him now." Jace points out, "They're sending a team to the Iron Sisters after the Rite of Mourning."

"I know." I huff, "I'm assigned to go."

"Why aren't you excited?" Jace nudged me lightly,

"I know Iz would be."

"I have demon blood, remember?" My voice was quiet, "If there's a purity trial, I'm screwed."

Jace exhales deeply, "Are you just gonna tell Aldertree that?"

"No way-" I cross my arms, "I know Izzy wants to go- so I'll just have her go instead of me."

Jace puts a hand on my back in comfort, "Look, Zee, go and get the wound checked out. The last thing we need is another one of us sidelined."

-

There was a knock on my door as I was pulling on my emerald green shirt over my head, deciding because how thin it was, that I wouldn't tuck it into my jeans.

I don't bother to reply, knowing that they would just come in, my hands running through my damp hair from getting out of the shower not too long ago.

"Hey." Alec's voice filled my ears, my movements freezing, as I stared at him through my mirror, "Look, I, uh-"

I face him, and began shaking my head, "Alec-"

"Zee, I am so sorry." Alec cut me off, staring into my eyes, walking over to me, "I would do anything, I mean anything, to take back those 30 seconds."

Alec stepped closer, his hand touching my arm, sliding down it and gently grabbing my hand, completely sincere, making small tears burn in my eyes, "To get your mom back."

"Alec, maybe we can get her back." Clary interrupted our conversation, slowly stepping into my room, "Maybe we can get both of them back."

Alec looked back at her for a second, then at me with slight wide and confused eyes, "What?"

My tone was stern, "Clary, no."

"I found a warlock who claims she can do it." Clary confessed what I already knew, "But- there are risks."

The guilt clouded Alec's judgement, as he looked at me, "I'll go with you."

I began shaking my head, my voice quiet when I was speaking to him, "No-"

"Zee, if there's any chance that we can get your mother back, we have to take it." Alec squeezes my hand, "No matter what happens, I'll be there."

"Two against one." Clary looked between us, "Let's do it."

-

"Are you here to see Dr. Rouse?" The woman asked Clary when she opened the door, as I stood between Alec and Clary.

"Yes." Clary stammers, "Um, I- I think she's expecting me. My name's Clary."

"I was indeed expecting you." The woman came into sight, "I only wondered when. Please, call me Iris."

"And I see you brought guests." Then she looked between Clary and Alec, "Your boyfriend?"

Alec grimaces, "No way- I have a girlfriend."

I had my arms crossed, already correcting her in unison with Alec, emphasizing that he was mine, "My boyfriend."

"No, they're- together." Clary gestures toward us, speaking in unison with Alec and I.

"Well- the lovely couple- leave your weapons outside." She pointed between us, Alec and I exchanging glances, "Any warlock worth a damn can see through Shadowhunter glamour with ease."

"Oh, don't worry." She noticed the looks on our faces, "It'll be safe in the alcove."

Alec sighs when we step in, Alec setting his bow and quiver down as I place my kindjals next to them.

Iris looked at Clary, "Sorry, did you bring your mother's-"

"Uh, her hair- yes." Clary confirmed, "I brought- my sister's mother's hair also- you said you could do hers also."

"Yes- perfect." Iris nodded then looked at me, and it was like something clicked in her head, "I want her to agree to the deal."

Clary's eyebrows furrow, "I thought that I-"

"She's the oldest, correct?" Iris made something up, "It's either she does it or I-"

Clary shot me a look, as I stared at her for a moment, feeling guilty, then clear my throat, "I don't understand, if you're bringing both mother's back to life wouldn't you need both favors, not just one?"

"I have my offers." Iris said, her eyes glued to me.

"Okay-" I huff, not thinking much of it, "Fine."

"Perfect." Iris took the two pieces of hair, "Nurse Leigh will help you with the paperwork."

"Uh, paperwork?" Alec spoke up, his hands behind his back.

"Yeah, just a simple pin prick to draw blood for the oath." Iris nodded, "For the favor we talked about."

"Well, I- I don't know about any favor." Alec stares at her, cautious about sending me anywhere to do anything.

"Oh, that was the deal we made." Iris informed him, "But- now, your girlfriend's going to fulfill it."

I sigh deeply, "It's fine, Alec."

"Delightful, follow me." Iris waves for Clary and I, "Your friend can wait here for you in the waiting room."

Before I could take a step, Alec had grabbed my arm, "No, I'm not leaving her side."

"Oh, then I can't do this." Iris stopped, "His energy is too turbulent- I need calm, and he is not calm."

"Okay, I'm gonna need to see some credentials." Alec's voice was firm, "Show me your warlock mark."

Iris' was firm right back, "Dear, if a lady has concealed her mark, assume it's for good reason."

"Alec, it's okay." I assure him, "It'll be okay."

"Wonderful, Clary, you can come up with me, and you- I'll come and get you in a minute." Iris changed the way she wanted to do this and lead Clary upstairs.

Alec sat down in the only seat there was, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his lap, seating me onto his leg, his arms wrapping around me, holding onto me tight as if he has been wanting to do this for days, catching me off guard.

Then a small girl slowly walked over to us, her hand reaching and touching my hair, "Pretty."

Alec notices her, and softly smiled at the child, "Hello."

"Zee-" Iris' voice filled my ears as I looked up, "I'll take you now."

I gave Alec's hand a squeeze before getting up, following Iris up the stairs.

-

"Place your mother's lock of hair on the table, please." Iris instructed Clary as I sat in the corner, observing them, sipping the tea Iris poured us, "Now, I need you to focus as intensely as you can on a cherished memory of your mother. Can you do that?"

I had signed the blood oath and was sitting, watching Clary go first to see if this was any more legit as Clary tried to make me believe that it seemed.

"That will help repel any demons that dare come near her soul." Iris told her, beginning to use her magic as Clary closed her eyes, "There you go, Clary. Good girl- now, let the process begin."

Moments later, a crow cawed and pecked at the window repeatedly, getting louder and louder within the minutes.

"Oh, my God." Clary snapped out of it and gasps, "That bird!"

"Focus on your mother, Clary." Iris told her, remaining concentrated, as the glass shatters when the crow flew in, Iris grabbing the crow and snapping it's neck with ease, continuing the spell.

"No, stop!" Clary grabbed the hair and stood up.

"Just because one bird came back badly doesn't mean-" Iris began but I had cut her off, getting up.

"Well, we're not taking that chance." I was already pushing Clary out of the room, "I'm sorry we wasted your time."

"You didn't waste my time." Iris scoffs, "You still owe me a favor."

I faced her, "You didn't bring anyone back to life- so I don't owe any favors. The deal's off."

"No, it's not." Iris argued, "You took a blood oath."

"Fine." I huff in defeat and head towards the door, "Call me when you need me."

"I need you now." She used her magic to slam the door shut and suddenly I couldn't go any further, "You are going to host one of my finest creations."

"Host." I face her again and repeat her words, "What are you saying?"

"I'm talking about having a baby, Zee." Iris softly smiles, "A baby warlock."

"You want me to sleep with a warlock?" My eyes went wide as I tried to escape the invisible prison she trapped me in, "Let me out!"

"Not quite- warlocks are a dying breed, and I need young, absolutely stunning women like you, healthy and fertile, that my own private demon can impregnate." Iris told me, taking notice of the look on my face, "Oh, I wish there was another way to do it- I do. But now, with Valentine threatening to wipe us all out, we need to build our numbers."

"I'm a Shadowhunter." I shot back at her, "A demon can't get me-"

"Pregnant?" Iris finishes my sentence, "I think I finally discovered an elixir that makes it possible."

That's when it starting hitting me as I began to feel dizzy, "You spiked the tea."

"Imagine a baby warlock, part demon, part Shadowhunter." Iris thought out loud, "Now, that would be something- definitely harder to drive into extinction."

My palms hit against the trap, grunting as she opened a portal, "The good news is, after the baby's born, I'll do a memory wipe- you'll be back home, none the wiser."

Then, she sent me through the portal.

-

[ alec's pov ]

I gently knocked on the door as I had walked upstairs where Zee went, the woman from before stepping out and shushing me, "There's babies sleeping."

I stare at her in suspicion, "I'm looking for Zee."

Her eyebrows furrow, "Who?"

"I came here with her." Fear began to build up in my chest, "You met her."

The woman stared at me for a second, before gesturing for me to follow her.

She lead into a room, where I didn't find Clary or Zee, glass shattered on the ground and a dead crow by it.

"Where is she?" I faced the woman, the fear in my chest growing, "What have you done with her?"

The woman stepped back as I decided to take an different approach, having her sit down, as I crouched in front of her, "Talk to me."

Her voice was quiet, "I don't wanna get Iris in trouble."

"Nobody's gonna get in trouble, I promise." I assured her, "Was that your baby?"

"One of them, I think." She looked confused as she spoke, "She takes our memories- I just remember little bits at a time."

"Wait, there's- there's more of you?" I stammer, thinking the possible worst of what Iris could have done to Zee.

"The women come and go." She said, "The babies are placed in homes where they're cared for- nurtured."

"Please, try to remember." I was pleading, "Where did she take Zee?"

"Alec!" Clary ran into the room, "Iris- she's taken Zee. I don't know what she's done-"

I was already up and watching past her, noticing Iris stepped out of a room.

I was quick to shove her into a wall and hold her there, my voice raising, "Where is Zee?"

Iris gasps when her back hits the wall, "I suggest you take your hands off me, young man."

"I will kill every last one of you if you don't give her back to me!" I shouted, demanding, "Where is she?"

Iris used her magic, sending me to the ceiling, my back hitting it hard, before throwing me onto the ground, as I groan lightly, pieces of the wood under me, as she threw Clary to the side and down the stairs, holding me down.

"You've gotta to do better than that, cheekbones." Iris remarked, stepping closer, increasing the pressure on me.

"Nana!" The girl from earlier ran over, "Nana, no."

"Oh, hi, honeybun." Iris let go and crouched in front of her, "Why don't you go back inside? And don't worry, I'm just playing with the man."

"Playtime's over." Isabelle's voice sounds, her body thudding against the ground when Iris used her magic against her, Isabelle quickly recovering and standing up, "Put the girl down."

Iris held her, "Her name is Madzie, and she's better off with me than left to fend for herself in this cruel world."

She then opened the portal, as Clary ran upstairs by us, "You can save the pretty girl, but she still owes me the favor."

With that, she disappears into the portal with Madzie.

"Alec-" Isabelle came over to me, "You okay?"

"Izzy." I said, my voice strained as I pushed myself onto my feet, my body aching, "We have to find Zee."

"I can feel her-" Isabelle said, nodding toward Clary and I, "She's scared, we have to get to her now."

-

[ zee's pov ]

My eyes opened, as I noticed that I was on the cold, hard ground.

I was in some sort of cell, one that was locked.

I got up quickly, jumping up the steps and to the window, noticing that I was under the alcove.

"Alec?" I shout for him, running over to the door, trying to open it, "Clary?"

"Damn it-" I kicked the door, starting to make my way towards the steps again, only to halt when I hear a creaking, following by growling.

My head slowly turns toward the sounds, noticing a demon stretching in, locking me in with it.

The demon breathed rapidly, growling louder as it made it's way toward me, my eyes widening.

Fear burned in my chest, as I stared at the stele in my hand, not knowing what to do or how to get out of this situation.

I shove the stele back in my pocket, backing up to the wall, as the demon began making it's way toward me.

I gasp when I feel a burning on my left palm, as I quickly brought it into sight, noticing a rune searing in itself, my eyes beginning to glow gold.

Confusion strikes with me, but I face my palm towards the demon, sunlight shooting out of my hand, killing the demon in seconds.

My eyes faded back to their normal color, Alec running in a few seconds later, "Zee-"

I looked up at him, running over to him, jumping into his arms almost instantly, still shocked by what I just did.

"I shouldn't have let you go on your own- I'm sorry-" Alec squeezed me, as I folded my legs, hanging from his tall figure.

When Alec put me down, Jace, Isabelle and Clary ran in.

"Zee, I'm so sorry-" Clary began to apologize but I stopped her.

Jace's eyes scan my features, "Are you okay?"

Isabelle also spoke up, "What happened?"

"Guys-" I breathed heavily, looking between them all, "I just shot sunlight out of my hand."

-

I slowly walked into the ceremony hall, hugging myself, in a white dress, my eyes noticing Clary stood by Jace by Alec and Isabelle.

I hesitate, before walking over to them, looking between them all, "Hey."

Jace looked at me, "You ready?"

"No-" I admit quietly, "Not really."

I caught a glimpse of Alec, noticing the guilt in his eyes, a sigh leaving my lips.

"Those remaining will take their place with the fallen." Aldertree lead, as Jace, Clary and I walked up, Jace and Clary standing by Jocelyn, as I stood by my mother.

"Those remaining will say the names of the fallen." Aldertree instructed, standing tall.

Brother Enoch was first, "Brother Micah."

"Pulvis et umbra sumus." Everyone recited.

Brother Isaac was next, "Brother Jeremiah."

"For we are dust and shadows." Everyone in front of us continued.

"Jocelyn-" Clary's voice broke as she couldn't get her name out fully, "Mom-"

Jace wrapped an arm around her, saying it for her, "Jocelyn Fairchild."

"Ave atque vale." Everyone exclaimed, nearing the end.

And before I knew it, all eyes were on me.

I paused, my eyes scanning my mother's facial features under the white sheet and red rose petals.

A tear or two fell from my eyes as I exhale shakily, my voice coming out quiet, "Margaret Young."

"Hail and farewell." Everyone in the audience finished, my eyes connecting with Alec's.

I notice the tears streaming down his cheeks, her eyes tinted red as he sniffles and breathed heavily, his eyes shifting from my mother to me every moment.

When we walked over, I stood with them, grabbing his hand, intertwining our fingers, as we watched the rest of the ceremony, the souls fading up into the sky.

authors note:

I found a shit ton of really good alec gifs for 2x05 and I haven't been able to settle on one so whenever I can't find a gif for an episode imma just add one of em, js

also zalec kinda made me cry this chapter ??

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