8

I stood in the Ops Center with Alec, Jace and Clary, dressed in my usual black ripped jeans, a navy blue sweater tucked into it, a hand through my slightly damp wavy hair as I watched Clary and Jace.

"It just looks like a wine glass." Clary stared into his eyes, holding the Mortal Cup with him.

"That wine glass saved your life." The corner of Jace's mouth turned up.

"What if- what if I hadn't gotten the Cup out in time?" Clary sighs, "That demon-"

"But- you did." Jace stops her, "First rule of Shadowhunting when something explodes, just keep walking. Never think twice. Never look away."

Clary smiles, "And what's the second rule?"

Isabelle used her whip to grab the Mortal Cup from their hands, "There's nothing a Shadowhunter can't do in heels."

Jace walks over to Alec and I, Isabelle handing Clary back the Cup, "Alec, what are you doing? You can stare at this monitor all you want, they need angel blood to get past the wards- you know that. No Downworlder can come into the Institute."

"Not without an invite by a Shadowhunter." Isabelle walks over, sighing.

Alec faces us, "Last I checked, Valentine is a Shadowhunter. The Cup is not safe here, we have to give it back to the Clave."

"Give it back to the Clave?" Clary repeats, "No- not after everything we went through to get it."

"My brother is right." Isabelle sides with Alec, "The Cup is extremely important."

"Are you agreeing with me?" Alec looked at her.

Isabelle barely smiles, "I'm full of surprises."

"This Cup is the one chance I have at getting my mom back." Clary argued.

"I agree with Clary." Jace sides with her, "We can't give the Cup to the Clave, not now- we need it. It's our only bargaining chip."

"Look, I know how powerful this Cup is." Clary tried to persuade, "It has the power to create new Shadowhunters, control demons and even kill a mundane if they drank from it. But I promise you, I will not let that monster get his hands on it."

"There you go." Jace shrugs, "You have her word."

Alec looks at me, noticing my silence, "Zee, what do you think?"

I blink, looking up at him.

"I don't need her opinion," Clary spat before I could speak, "She probably couldn't care less if I got my mom back or not."

Alec looked at her, "Hey-"

I cross my arms, shaking my head in disbelief, scoffing, starting to walk away from them, "You're unbelievable-"

"I'm unbelievable?" Clary's voice stops me, "You were gone- just like that- for three years-"

I kept walking away, only a few feet away from them at this point, "I'm not having this conversation with you, Clary-"

"Yes, you are." Clary took a step forward, "Pushing this away is only going to make it worse for you."

I stop and spun around to face her, "I'm not too thrilled about false accusations and resentment from my little sister, so no- i'm not talking about this."

"Do you not care- about this at all?" Clary was ready to let this all out now, "About what happened- about my mom?"

"There is so much in that- that was wrong, so I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it." I turn away and began to walk away again.

"No-" Clary follows me, grabs my arm and stops me, pulling me to face her, "You can't just do that-"

"Clary-" I stare at her in indignation, "If I didn't care, I wouldn't have done everything I've done since you've got here. You just drop out of no where and expect us to bend every rule for you so you can find Jocelyn- and that's actually kind of not fair because we've- I've, done nothing but bend the rules for you. Alec, Jace, Izzy and I- have broken so many Clave rules for you."

Clary shook her head, "I don't need your help-"

"Have you kept count on how many times I've saved your life in the past week?" I questioned, keeping a straight look.

Clary turned it on me, "Regardless, you disappeared for three years- three full years I was left without my older sister. I had no one to look up to, no one to confide in. I was mourning over the loss of my sister that was here, having the time of her life. How could I care about what you've done- or trust a word you say when everything I've been told about you has been a lie you've gone along with?"

That was bullshit, she had Simon.

I was fueled with indignation at having been blamed so unjustly by her.

I shook my head in disbelief, "I had no choice."

"You keep saying that-" Clary stared at me, "But- it doesn't convince me otherwise."

Jace, Alec and Isabelle stood still, watching this go down, knowing that this was bound to happen.

"How's this-" I was completely fed up with all of her remarks and misdirected hatred towards me, "Your mother- the mother that we've all worked our asses off to try and find- she went behind my back and without my consent, told you I was dead."

Clary kept her stare on me, "You're lying."

"You could ask Luke." I scoff gently, shrugging, "You don't know how many times I asked to come see you. But- Jocelyn wanted to keep the Shadow World as far as possible from you. Even if it included keeping me away with it. She thought it was too dangerous for me to come and see you. She told you I was dead, she made me go along with it. She cut me out of your life and even then I found ways to look over you."

Clary shakes her head, "No- my mom- she told me-"

"Well, what hasn't she lied about, Clary?" I shot back at her, "Has she even mentioned how much I've lost in the past three years? Did she even mention me in general?"

"And what have you lost?" Clary confronted me, not wanting to believe her mother was behind all of this; I knew the feeling.

"My mother was taken from me, Clary." I barely breathe, keeping all my other emotions in check, anger being the only one surfacing, "Have you noticed her around here at all? Or were you too focused on making sure I knew how much you hated me?"

Clary was silent, her eyes glued to mine, a mixture of regret, guilt and hurt crossing over her features.

"You know what- I've done fine without any family for the past three years." I pulled my arm from her, "I don't need you changing that."

Tears brim in Clary's eyes, as she reaches to grab my arm, her voice falling weak, "Zee-"

I step away from her touch, grabbing my usual black leather jacket, walking away from them and towards the entrance.

For the past three years I've done my best to keep myself in check.

I forced myself to know that emotions cloud your judgement, no matter how I was raised.

That was without the family I left behind.

If Clary thought her walking back into my life would change that, she was wrong.

I would not let her reopen a wound that I forced closed.

"Zee- wait-" Jace's voice fills my ears as he ran after me, grabbing my arms, forcing me to face him, "Will you just calm down?-"

"Calm down?" I stare at him with wide eyes, scoffing in disbelief, "Wow, Jace-"

"Listen, okay-" Jace held onto my arms, trying to calm me, but taking the wrong way of doing so, "Clary's been through a lot and has no one- I'm sure after a little time you two will work this out-"

"Will you stop defending her?" I pull away from his hold, shutting him up, "That's all you do now. I can assure you, you'll have her in your bed soon, there's no need to go this far."

As I began to turn away, Jace grabs my arm once more, stopping me, "Hey- hey-"

I face him, sick of trying to pull away from everyone already, "Jace, if you don't let go of me right now, I'll-"

My sentence was cut short when the alarm starts to blare loudly, Jace and I looking around instantly, this being completely random and catching us both off guard.

"You've got to be kidding me-" I dramatically say, pulling away from Jace and heading back over to Alec and Isabelle, putting on my jacket, "What is it?"

Jace followed and looked at the monitor, "There's something outside the perimeter-"

"I told you-" Alec began to say.

Jace stops him, "Don't say it."

"What's happening?" Clary weakly spoke from behind us, as I could hear in her voice that she was crying.

Isabelle sighs, "Looks like someone's trying to break in."

"Could be the Circle." Jace shrugs, as we all started to head to the entrance, preparing our weapons.

Alec looks at him, "Told you so."

Jace sighs, "Too soon-"

We head outside, armed and ready for any threat, as I call out to the back turned towards us, holding someone, "Don't move-"

"Drop what you're holding." Alec followed up, "Put your hands up."

Clary caught up to us, holding her dagger, her eyes widening at the sight when the man turned.

It was Raphael Santiago, holding Simon Lewis; only he was dead.

My eyes widen as we all slowly let our guard down, Clary gasping, "Oh, my God, Simon!"

-

"People will be wondering what we found outside the perimeter." Jace stared at Simon's dead body that laid on the surface, a sight that I dreaded to see.

"I'll go." Alec cleared his throat, "I'll tell 'em we didn't find anything. Nobody will come down here."

Raphael faces us, "I might be a vampire but I was raised a good Catholic."

"The vampires breached the Accords." Isabelle stares at the ground, "Killing Simon is grounds for war."

"The vampires were not behind this." Raphael shot back, "Just Camille. She attacked Simon on her own."

I looked at him, "And how do we know you're telling the truth?"

"I could have gotten rid of him, but instead I brought him here." Raphael reasons, "I don't want trouble with the Shadowhunters."

"Smart decision." I lightly glare at him.

"I warned the mundane to stay away but Camille gave him a taste of her own blood, and like an addict he came back wanting more." Raphael exhales.

"The only reason Simon ever tasted Camille's blood is because of you." Clary turned it on him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she clung to her dead best friend, "You kidnapped him! You drug him to Hotel DuMort, you- you delivered him to Camille!"

"I never meant for this to happen." Raphael told us straight and clear.

"Simon-" Clary sobs, "Simon, please come back, please-"

"There is a way." Raphael sat down.

"A way what?" Jace questioned.

"A way to bring Simon back." Raphael looks between us.

"You can do that?" Clary looked up at him, sniffling, "How- how?"

"He's a fledgling." Raphael inhales sharply, "It's a state of transition. Your friend can be resurrected."

Jace shook his head, "No."

"Clary, no." Isabelle almost denied.

"So I could have Simon back?" Clary stammered, "Alive and breathing?"

"Simon won't return alive or breathing." I quietly spoke up, keeping my stare on the ground, "He'll be a vampire."

"And not the sexed up, romantic kind." Jace picked up where I left off, "The ugly, bloodsucking, coffin-dwelling kind."

"That's offensive." Raphael sat comfortably.

Jace looked at him, "Really?"

"Coffin implies wooden box." Raphael spoke, "We have caskets now. They're made of 14-karat gold."

"My bad." Jace clicks his tongue.

"It's almost sunrise." Raphael noticed, "Simon must be turned into a vampire tonight or staked through the heart."

Clary swallows, "And if I do neither?"

"His soul will be trapped for eternity." Raphael told us, "You have till sunset to decide- the clock is ticking."

-

Alec came to my side when I walked through the hall and towards my room, in need of a small break from everything, "You okay?"

"Simon's always been like a little brother to me." I took off my jacket, "I don't know-"

"No, I meant-" Alec inhales, "With what down with Clary."

I scoff, walking down the empty hall with him, "What- are you going to tell me that I need to calm down and she's going through things?"

Alec grabs my arm and stops me, "Actually- I think you're the first one to have common sense since she showed up."

"I'm just- angry- that's all." I softly sigh, then look up at him, "Alec- we need to talk."

"Yeah- we do." Alec barely nods, letting go of my arm.

I blink hard, inhaling deeply before looking at him, "Alec- we need to forget that kiss ever happened."

"What?" Alec stared at me, confusion and what looked like hurt flashing in his eyes.

"Alec- I can't- at all." I gestured between us, holding the gloss layer over my eyes back, "I've thought about this a lot- it's the only thing I've been thinking about for a while- and this is my conclusion."

Alec quietly questions, "Your conclusion is pretending it never happened?"

"I'm not used to stuff like this- I'm not used to- this." I blurt out an excuse, keeping the real reason hidden, "I just- I can't okay?"

Isabelle slowly walks over, interrupting, "Alec? Mom and Dad want to speak with us."

I back away, Alec watching me as I head into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I slid down the door and hugged my knees, letting out a shaky breath.

-

I walked with Max through the Ops Center, "Zee, you think you could get my stele back?"

I looked down at him, "From what I've heard- they took it away because you nearly burnt down the Mumbai Institute."

Alec walked over, joining our conversation, standing on the other side of Max, "You heard right-"

"How many times do I have to say it was an accident?" Max dramatically said.

"Look, Max." Alec bent down, "Somebody very important is coming to visit."

"Someone important's coming?" I question, looking at him, feeling at unease speaking with him right now.

And I knew he felt it too, but it felt like we couldn't stay away from each other even if we wanted to.

Because a while later we ended up right by each other.

Alec nods softly, "Envoy from the Clave."

I slowly nod, bending, placing one hand on my knee, the other on Max's back, "You think you can stay out of trouble for just a couple days?"

Alec adds in, "If you do, I promise Zee and I will get your stele back."

Suddenly, the doors open, the person who walked through catching everyone off guard and made Alec and I act right away.

Valentine Morgenstern.

Alec and I cover Max, my kindjals deglamour as did Alec's bow, as he grabbed an arrow, firing right as I threw my kindjal at him.

Valentine caught the arrow, his finger tips stopping my kindjal, the pads of his fingers pressed against the blade to stop it.

Valentine tossed the arrow to the ground and grabbed a stele, deactivating the shape shifting rune, revealing a blonde woman.

"That reaction time was abysmal." She sighed, standing tall, walking over to Alec and I, handing me back my kindjal, "Except for you two."

Alec and I exchange looks, as she took a step back, looking at all of us as she had the attention of the entire Institute, "I'm Lydia Branwell, envoy from the Clave."

"Maryse." Lydia walked past us, greeting Maryse as she walked the steps, "The Clave has ordered me to take temporary control of this Institute."

"Wait a minute-" Maryse looks at her, "Nobody informed us."

"The Clave doesn't need to." Lydia simply said, "And, to repeat myself, it's temporary."

"Nothing's been decided yet." Lydia used her stele to do a few things on the monitor as she pleased. "But I do need full clearance in order to assess how this Institute is running."

Lydia pauses and faces us, "Where is Clary Fairchild?"

We all stood silent, Lydia looking at us all, wanting someone to speak up, "I would hope someone here knows."

I clear my throat, placing my kindjal in its scabbard, "She's in the field, training."

"You're telling me she's just out and about in the streets of New York?" Lydia walked closer to me, standing directly in front of me, "Valentine's daughter?"

"You're looking at one of them right now." I cross my arms, "Is there a problem?"

Lydia eyes me, "I don't see much of a threat."

"Isn't that a good thing in this matter?" I stood still, "Or- would you prefer the other way around?"

Isabelle steps up, crossing her arms also, "Isn't she also your cousin?"

Lydia looked at her, glancing at me, "Distant cousin."

Alec spoke up, "She's with Jace."

"The same Jace Wayland who decided to lead an unsanctioned raid against the vampires?" Lydia confronts, "I've read reports."

"Jace might be unconventional, but he's our best soldier." Maryse stood up for him, "If he's with Clary, then she's in good hands."

"I hope so." Lydia eyes us all, "And for your sake, all of New York. All of your jurisdiction better be well protected."

-

"I'm not a fan-" I mutter, walking down the hall with Isabelle and Alec, my arms crossed.

Isabelle nods in agreement, "Neither am I."

Alec glances at me, "Jealous?"

"No-" I inhale deeply, looking at him, noticing the look he was shooting at me, "Come on- how the hell did she catch both your arrow and my kindjal? That makes no sense-"

Alec stops walking when his phone vibrates, following us down the steps and towards Maryse and Lydia who stood in front of the monitor.

"I have something you need to see." Alec told them, pulling up onto the monitor what he had just received on his phone, "Something attacked the Jade Wolf."

"The werewolves' headquarters?" Maryse looks at him, "Where did you-"

Lydia cuts her off, "Where did you get these?"

Alec glances between them, "Leader of the New York wolf pack."

"You're friends with Lucian Graymark?" Lydia questions, "An ex-Circle member?"

I cross my arms, "Does it matter? As far as I'm concerned, this could lead to some answers."

Maryse senses the tension between Lydia and I, clearing her throat, "How about we send Zee and Alec to investigate? I'm sure this is linked to-"

"Valentine." Lydia finishes her sentence, "I need to see it for myself."

She turns and starts to walk, then stops, looking back at Alec, "Are you coming or what?"

Alec sighs, following her.

-

"You almost done?" Isabelle questions, adjusting the eye protection she had on, Magnus using his magic to make sure no magic was used to create the dead Forsaken.

Magnus glances at her, "Patience is a virtue, my dear."

"Come on-" Isabelle urges, "I want to get my hands on that thing-"

"I can't believe you just said that-" I blink hard, standing by Magnus, watching him do his thing.

Isabelle smirks at me, "You're only here because you want to get away from Alec."

"You know nothing-" I cross my arms.

"Well- that's because you've been really quiet about the matter." Isabelle called me out, giving me an innocent smile before coming by Magnus and I, looking at the dead Forsaken.

"Speaking of which, how are you and Alexander?" Magnus looked at me, "I'm sure things have escalated since that kiss."

Isabelle looked at me, "Kiss."

"Not- really." I shot Magnus a look, glancing between him and Isabelle, "I told him no."

"Told him no?" Isabelle repeats my words in question.

"I told him that we should forget about the kiss and put it behind us." I swallow hard, looking away from them.

"Biscuit-" Magnus' eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Maybe if you two have another drink, everything will sort out."

"Drinking isn't the answer to everything, Magnus." I sigh, coming up with another excuse to keep the real reason hidden, "Commitment isn't my thing, that's all. The kiss- was just a kiss."

Isabelle stares at me, not buying it, "Was it really just a kiss?"

"Can we please focus on the matter at hand and not my non existing love life?" I blurt out, running a hand through my hair.

Isabelle sighs, observing the body, "Putrefaction. It's decomposing."

Magnus shook his head, "I just- don't understand. He seemed so interested-"

Isabelle exhales, "I'm not sure if you noticed, but my brother is not exactly warm and fuzzy."

"Hmm, I suppose." Magnus nods, "With Clary's arrival-"

I nod gently, "And Valentine's return."

"Running the Institute-" Magnus continued.

I roll my eyes at the mention, muttering, "The envoy from the Clave-"

"Oh, who I hear is very impressive." Magnus points out, "What else? Oh, babysitting Jace."

Isabelle grabbed a few utensils, "And dealing with our parents who are trying to find him a wife."

"Wow-" I blink, being completely caught off guard, "That's-"

"It's been a sensitive subject for all of us." Isabelle inhales sharply, glancing at us.

Magnus shrugs, "I suppose Alec is just following his duty."

Isabelle hovers over the body, ready to cut into it, "Not everyone gets the luxury of following their heart."

"I'm gonna go deliver the preliminary findings-" I step away, not wanting to be a part of this conversation any longer, taking off my lab coat, "It seems like you have everything under control here-"

-

I slowly walk into the training room, holding the preliminary autopsy findings in my hand, the first sight I see being Alec.

Alec was shirtless, and punching the boxing bag.

I swallow hard, my eyes scanning over his features over and over, as he breathed heavily, confusing, a sheet of sweat over his body.

My voice was high as I blurt out his name to get his attention, "Alec-"

Alec stops, looking back at me, panting.

"I-" I felt a strong feeling through my body, my breath being taken away from me, resulting in me hiding my face behind the folder in my hand, "I have something for you-"

Alec continued to pant, eyeing me, before walking over to the bench, grabbing a zip up sweatshirt.

I uncover my face after a few moments, noticing that he left the sweatshirt unzipped.

I inhale sharply, walking over to him, handing him the folder, "I have the preliminary autopsy findings-"

"Why are you giving this to me?" Alec slowly took it from my hand, tossing the folder onto the bench he picked up his sweatshirt from, "This should go to the head of the Institute."

"Okay?" I shot him a weird look, "It is."

"I'm not." Alec exhales sharply, "And I never will be."

I sigh through my nose, crossing my arms, "You don't know that, Alec."

"Zee-" Alec puts his palm up, stopping me from speaking, "It's like- it's like my whole life has been a lie. Now, everything I've ever known is-"

"It's not what you thought." I finished his sentence, "I know the feeling."

"You're probably the only one who could ever get that." Alec stares at me, then sighing, stuttering, "I've done everything for my parents- for the Clave- I've done everything that they've asked."

"You have- you have, I know." I nod in agreement, "Maybe the solution to this is- doing something for you. Start living for yourself- and not for them. Do what's in your heart."

"I can't believe I'm saying this." Alec breathes deeply, "I think you're right."

-

[ alec's pov ]

I walk into Lydia's office, "Lydia, do you have a minute?"

"Alec, I'm sorry about your parents, but my hands were tied." Lydia sighs, her attention now on me, as she placed what was in her hands down.

"Look, I- I know." I looked at her, putting together all my thoughts, "The law is hard, but it's the law, and I respect that."

I breathe in deeply, "But- I've realized that I have to listen to my heart."

Lydia chuckles, "Let's not forget where that got me."

"I know." I stutter, "And I can't bring John back."

"But, like you said, our families have been strong allies- and we can use that to our advantage." I step closer to her, "Together, we can restore my family name and we can keep the Institute."

Lydia was picking up on what I was implying, "And we'd get to run it."

I nod, dropping onto one knee, "Lydia Branwell will you marry me, Alec Lightwood?"

-

[ zee's pov ]

I walked through the Ops Center a while later, grunts and groans of pain coming from the training room.

As I assumed it was just Hodge training, I knew I was wrong when I neared the room, noticing a Forsaken, just like the one that attacked Luke, fighting Hodge.

Hodge had finished him, the Forsaken falling onto the wood, not moving.

As Hodge thought he had beaten the Forsaken, he was caught off guard when it got up from the ground, grabbing its weapon, going back to trying to defeat Hodge.

But soon, Hodge was on the ground, the Forsaken above him.

As I was about to step in, Alec had beat me to it, shooting arrows at the Forsaken.

The Forsaken faced him, heading towards him despite the arrows in his body, knocking Alec onto the ground.

Alec held his shoulder, grunting in pain.

The Forsaken moves closer to Alec, ready to finish him off, swinging his arms back with full force.

I pulled out my kindjals, stepping in between, using them to block his attempt to hurt Alec, feeling a vibration through my body with how hard the two weapons hit against each other.

I push him away, the Forsaken now trying to take hits at me, as I dodged his attempts, noticing Hodge stand up.

I pierce my blade into the Forsaken, pulling blade out, spin kicking it in the face before kicking it with all force towards Hodge.

Hodge finishes him off, snapping his neck, The Forsaken dropping to the ground.

I drop my kindjals, rushing towards Alec, "Hey- hey-"

Alec grunts in pain, breathing heavily, holding onto his shoulder as I fell to my knees, coming to his aid, "Alec, are you okay? Where did he get you-"

I had payed no attention to Hodge, whom was by the dead Forsaken.

Footsteps approached as Isabelle ran in to see what the commotion was about, rushing towards Alec and I instantly, "Oh, my God! Alec, are you okay?"

authors note:

oop lots of shit happenedsksksk

but like clary and zee's argument is kinda really bad I'm sorry-

oof, this chapter in general is just bad

also zee has valid reasons btw