CH 40
Don't Hide From Me!
Ye Yao certainly didnât get hit and crashed, but was still dragged around for a good inspection.
As he examined him, he watched Lu Xunâs head come closer and closer to his neck.
He could even hear the faintest sound of Lu Xunâs breathing, Lu Xun was breathing deeply, not knowing what he was inhaling.
âI didnât get hit in the neck.â Ye Yao said.
ââ¦â¦â Lu Xun stepped back a bit to look at the uncomprehending Ye Yao.
Of course he knew that it was unlikely that he would get hit on the neck when he walked, he just â¦â¦ had some restraint.
He hadnât been able to suck on Ye Yao himself for a long, long time, or at best, on Ye Yaoâs clothes.
Ye Yao, now in living colour, is in front of him, so close to him that it easily evokes the deepest addictions of his heart.
Lu Xun rubbed his nose and said in a muffled voice, âItâs always good to check just in case.â
When Ye Yao didnât say anything, Lu Xun sat down next to him and continued to grill the meat.
âI overheard a lot of the conversation you had with that man just now.â Ye Yao opened his mouth, âIâm sorry.â
Lu Xun immediately retorted, âHow can you call this eavesdropping? Itâs called listening openly, and this is your place, so you can come back whenever you want.â
Ye Yao laughed, then put the smile away and continued, âAfter he gives up on you as a target, chances are heâll go for another boy.â
âThat would be best.â A familiar flash of disgust and revulsion flashed across Lu Xunâs face as he chucked the roast into Ye Yaoâs bowl and returned to his smiling appearance when he faced Ye Yao, âEnough about that, letâs get on with it.â
*
Back in the dormitory, Ye Yao is lying in bed.
He recalled every single thing that had happened today.
Lu Xunâs overwhelming desire to be exclusive and possessive of him does not allow anyone to interfere with the absolute exclusivity between the two of them.
There was also a flash of disgust on Lu Xunâs face, probably unnoticed by Lu Xun himself, when he mentioned that the boy might be looking for other men.
Thatâs exactly the same resistance Lu Xun used to feel when he heard about homosexuality when he was a homophobic straight man.
This subconscious reaction is still present today when Lu Xun claims to have gone bent.
He didnât get to see Lu Xunâs face when he was talking to the boy, but now that he thinks about it, it was probably one of extreme disgust and revulsion.
This makes him even more convinced that Lu Xun is still very straight, but that there seems to be a slight possibility of a bend in the straightness.
â¦â¦ How can such an oxymoron exist.
Ye Yao is not very good at relationship matters and it is a rare enlightenment for him to realise that he likes Lu Xun. It is only normal for him not to be able to see that people are hitting on him.
Ye Yaoâs phone vibrated and he picked it up to see a message from Lu Xun.
Lu Xun : [Little penguin probe.jpg]
Lu Xun : [Can I get a passing grade on todayâs date?
Ye Yao thought about it and replied.
[Thatâs not called a date today.]
[Called a dinner date.]
*
Itâs another school day, Lu Xun is still in the throes of a date turned dinner date, and Ye Yao receives a message from his mother.
[Ye Yao, has your grandfather come to see you?
Ye Yao also rushed to reply during the lesson: [No, whatâs wrong mum?
Mother Ye replied: [Your uncle wants to buy a house and grandpa wants us to help pay for part of it, if he comes to you, you can just ask him to call mum, no need to bother talking to him more to affect your mood].
When my mother was sick and could barely pay for his treatment, my grandfatherâs family didnât take a dime, but now they want to borrow money?
Ye Yao lowered his eyes: [Okay, donât worry about it, Mom].
*
Ye Yao knew that his grandfather would be looking for him, so he didnât go out that night either and studied in his dormitory.
Ye Yao received a call just after 8pm and walked outside the hostel with his mobile phone.
It started with a few pleasantries and Ye Yaoâs cold attitude, but it didnât take long to see Grandpa get to the point.
âXiao Yao, your second uncle is going to buy a house, we are all family, so we should help each other more, right? Grandpa knows you must have some money on hand, and youâre so good at your studies! Donât be stingy, youâre an only child, when youâre old, in case something happens to you, youâll have to let your cousin take care of you.â
Ye Yao walked to the corner of the unoccupied staircase and opened the closed window, letting the breeze, which was beginning to carry the heat of early summer, hit his face.
âThatâs not necessary, I can hire a carer to look after me, so I wonât bother him.â Ye Yao said indifferently.
Grandpaâs voice was loud: âHow can outsiders be as attentive as family members? There was a news story the other day that a caregiver earning $10,000 a month wouldnât even help with shit and urine!â
âItâs okay.â Ye Yao said, âI was afraid that my cousin would take care of me and I could just pull my oxygen tube, the nurses were fine.â
Grandpa sounded even more angry when he spoke again, after a few minutes of being stopped by Ye Yaoâs words: âYou canât be a wolf, Ye Yao! Do you remember when you were little and I took you and your cousin out to play? You had so much fun then, but now youâve grown up and youâve turned your back on me like your mother?â
The spring breeze could not remove the frost that covered Ye Yaoâs brow as he looked out of the window, his chest churning with depression.
âI didnât think I had fun that time,â Ye Yao said coldly, âand Mum, she didnât just turn her back on me and hang up for no reason.â
Ye Yao hung up the phone straight away and closed the window again to walk back to the dormitory, but as he turned around he saw a figure standing furtively at the corner of the stairs coming up from downstairs.
The figure was familiar to him.
âI didnât mean to eavesdrop,â Lu Xun said, holding up the shopping bag in his hand to show his innocence, âI saw you studying too hard, so I wanted to go downstairs to buy you some snacks, but I didnât expect to come across you talking on the phone here.â
ââ¦â¦ hmm.â Ye Yao adjusted his mood to face Lu Xun , âBack together?â
Lu Xun takes three steps up the stairs and walks over to Ye Yao.
Lu Xun touched Ye Yaoâs shoulder carefully, âWhatâs wrong, is your cousin bullying you? Tell me why youâre not happy, Iâll help you bully him back.â
ââ¦â¦ Itâs okay, it was over ten years ago, itâs long gone.â Ye Yao laughed and didnât put it out there.
Lu Xun was not surprised by Ye Yaoâs reluctance to say anything. Ye Yao had always been the kind of person who liked to keep things bottled up inside.
Of course, not everything is a good time to get to the bottom of things, but Lu Xunâs instincts told him that Ye Yao cared enough about it to warrant asking.
Wouldnât it be bad if Ye Yao also has a psychological shadow that makes Ye Yao reluctant to turn his friends into lovers?
After a bit of hard work, but no relief from Ye Yao, Lu Xun chose to seek help off-site.
He took out his mobile phone and started to communicate with Ye Yaoâs mother.
As a friend of Ye Yaoâs, he was respectful and warm towards Ye Yaoâs mother, and now as a suitor of Ye Yaoâs, Lu Xunâs attitude is even warmer and more affectionate.
How can that be Ye Yaoâs mother, thatâs his mother! From now on, weâre all family!
After Ye Yaoâs mother had been cheered up by him, Lu Xun began to pose his own questions.
[I was talking to Ye Yao today and I heard him talking about how he was upset about going out with his cousin, but he didnât tell me anything about it.
Ye Yaoâs mother does know.
At that time, Ye Yao was still young and had not yet developed the habit of keeping everything inside, so when he went home and was hugged and coaxed by his mother, he told his grievances.
At that time, a new amusement park was opened and Ye Yaoâs grandfather took Ye Yaoâs cousin with him, fearing that he would be bored without him.
The amusement park was still a very high class and new place for people at that time, so there were a lot of people going there and the stuff inside was sold out.
The trendy juice soda was sold down to one glass, which was rightly given to his cousin, Ye Yao, to drink the mineral water. Since Ye Yao is the older brother, he has to give way to his younger brother and the mineral water is healthy.
There was only one big bucket of Crown Ice Cream left, so I gave it to my cousin and Ye Yao just had a regular small box of ice cream because Ye Yao was too skinny to eat that much.
Later they saw a balloon seller with a balloon bearing the Huluwa and Sun Wukong that most young boys would like, and Ye Yao liked it too.
There were two balloons left and Ye Yao was happy to think that he would get one this time, whichever one it was.
But Ye Yao never thought that he would end up with none of them. He couldnât let go of either one because his cousin liked both the Huludao and Sun Wukong. In the end, the old man put both balloons into his hands after he cried and screamed.
âLittle Yao is so pretty, he must not like this kind of thing,â Grandpa Ye Yao said, âGrandpa will buy it for you when he sees Snow Whiteâs.â
ââ¦â¦ I donât like Snow White, I just like this.â Ye Yao said.
âWhat did you say?â Granddad asked.
Ye Yao didnât answer. After buying the balloons, you can have your photo taken with the cute people dressed as doll bears not far away for ten dollars a person.
The large doll bear was fluffy and the fur on his body was soft to look at. My cousin buried his face in the bearâs belly with excitement and Ye Yao couldnât stop looking at it.
He liked that too, and he wanted to go and hold the doll bearâs furry looking hand.
Ye Yao, who was waiting, got the bad news that he had spent too much today and did not have enough money left.
This time Ye Yao voluntarily withdrew and received a compliment from his grandfather who said he knew what he was doing.
Maybe because heâs the older brother, maybe because heâs the grandson, whatever the reason, he wonât be the one being pampered on this excursion.
Ye Yaoâs introverted nature also prevents his from competing for favour.
Ye Yaoâs mother finished roughly what had happened and sighed: [Now that weâre talking about all these trivial things, he certainly wouldnât want to tell you such trivial things again, he would feel embarrassed].
Lu Xun was so angry when he saw what had happened that he wished he could have been next to Ye Yao and bought everything for him.
How could he have met Ye Yao in high school? They should have been friends since they were three years old, childhood sweethearts, and when they became adults, they started to fall in love, and when they turned twenty-three, they got their marriage license, so no one could bully Ye Yao under his nose.
Lu Xun took a breath to calm herself down and replied to Ye Yaoâs motherâs message: [Yes, Iâve been to the amusement park with him before and he hasnât said anything about it once].
Nowadays, if Ye Yao has the intention to hide something, he will hide it from anyone.
Ye Yaoâs mother continued: [When we tried to take him to the amusement park later, he always said he didnât like it anymore and wouldnât go.
Did you really dislike it, or did you pretend not to?
I am afraid that Ye Yao, having seen how much it costs to go out once, did not want to burden his parents. It was only after Ye Yao started to get a scholarship and a part-time job that he started to go out more often.
â¦â¦ Ye Yaoâs regrets, the times he was not involved in, he wants to make up for them all and occupy every inch of Ye Yaoâs memories.
Lu Xun poked his head out of bed and asked Ye Yao, âAre we going to the amusement park this weekend?â
âIâm going to be a tutor on the weekend to fill in.â Ye Yao replied.
Lu Xun took his head back and tapped his phone again, then poked his head back out after a while, âBut I saw Ms. Wangâs circle of friends saying that he was going to take him out for the weekend because he did well in his monthly exams.â
Ye Yao took his phone out to see if this was actually true, and he soon received a text message from Ms. Wang that he had the weekend off.
âThat doesnât want to go either.â Ye Yao said.
After todayâs phone call, Iâm afraid he wonât want to go to the amusement park for the next while.
Ye Yao thought this was the end of the story, but a few minutes later he received a message from Lu Xun.
[Going to the amusement park this weekend? If you donât want to, Iâll ask again in five minutes.]
Ye Yao : ââ¦â¦â
Lu Xun was true to his word, sending Ye Yao invitations every five minutes, and it didnât matter if Ye Yao didnât reply, he continued to send messages when the time came.
By the time Ye Yao had finished his textbook and washed up in bed, there were dozens of Lu Xunâs invitation messages piled up on his phone.
Five minutes after five minutes, and only twelve five-minute periods in an hour.
Itâs lights out in the dormitory and Lu Xunâs messages are still coming every five minutes.
As long as the phone is on silent, this message will not affect Ye Yao in any way and Lu Xun will be the only one busy.
At twenty-eight minutes past twelve, Ye Yao, who was lying down, got up and went to the curtains of the bed which had been drawn up.
At 12:29:50, Ye Yao lifted the curtain of the bed between him and Lu Xun.
Lu Xun is holding his mobile phone, typing the invitation message word by word, the light from the screen shining on his face, reflecting the seriousness in his dark eyes.
Lu Xun raises his head at the sound of movement and meets Ye Yaoâs eyes.
Lu Xun, who had been expressionless, showed a smile to Ye Yao, and it seemed to be his instinct to smile happily when he saw Ye Yao.
Ye Yao Yaoâs grip on the bed curtain squeezed tighter, crumpling the piece of fabric as he said in an airy tone, âWhat kind of person types word by word, itâs been posted so many times, copy and paste donât you know how?â
Lu Xun didnât say anything as he sent a new invitation message and then started typing and sending again.
Ye Yao took out his phone to look at it and saw a new text from Lu Xun.
[Each invitation must be as sincere as each one you invite, no copy and paste.]
Ye Yaoâs hand trembled slightly as he lowered the bed curtain back between him and Lu Xun and typed back, word by word.
[Go on then.]
*
Ye Yao was surrounded by children and couples as he entered the amusement park with Lu Xun on the weekend.
Probably because he and Lu Xun are more distinguished and the children donât know how to hide it, many of them stared at them and waved âbyeâ to them before walking away.
Ye Yao was infected by the childlike atmosphere, and a smile tinged his eyes: âThe children are quite cute.â
Next to his Lu Xun frowned, âBut we wonât have children.â
Ye Yao : ââ¦â¦â
Lu Xun came up with a solution: âBut we can adopt as many as you like.â
Lu Xun frowned again, âI donât like children though.â
Ye Yao : ââ¦â¦ I think youâre thinking too far ahead.â
Lu Xun doesnât feel half as far gone as he thinks, but instead of going on about the subject, he stops when he and Ye Yao come to a place.
âWait for me here for a moment.â Lu Xun said.
Ye Yao was unsure, but stopped and stood still.
While waiting, several large dolls played by several people walked past him, followed by a group of chattering children.
Ye Yao watched quietly as the big doll and the little friend departed. He did not make a sound, so no one would stop for him, let alone know what was in his mind.
There was a sudden weight on his shoulders and Ye Yao turned his head to see a large, furry paw.
Ye Yao : â?â
Ye Yao turned around and saw a huge doll bear standing behind him.
The bear is fluffy and round, the fur on his body is soft and touchable at first glance, and he is holding two sparkling balloons in his other hand, making him look cartoonish and dreamy.
Ye Yao, a big man, was impressed by the bear, not to mention the other children.
A little boy rushed up, âXiong Xiong , can I touch the hair on your body?â
âNo.â A lazy male voice came out of the bearâs head, the voice Ye Yao knew best.
The big bearâs head turned towards Ye Yao and looked at him with a smile in his voice.
âIâm his very own bear and will only let him touch it.â