Leave Her

Ryder

It had been about two weeks without her and I was already questioning my sanity.

How did I ever last so many years without seeing her and now I can't even last two weeks?

I had missed seeing her cute little figure walking around the house with my clothes that were mostly too big for her.

Just thinking about her put a smile on my face. The want to give her affection became a need and I couldn't wait to get back and drown her in my affection.

Unfortunately though, Jason and his family were hard to convince. I had definitely earned the benefit of the doubt and they weren't so sure that I had her anymore.

My phone rang bringing me back to the real world and I picked it up after seeing it was Mrs Tanner, Amara's mother.

"Hello Mrs Tanner, how is your husband?" I asked worried.

If something serious happened to him Amara would never forgive me.

"He's better now. I was wondering if you could visit, your parents are here too" She said hesitantly.

I wanted to see them and my parents, but it would be really awkward seeing them after so many years.

My parents used to visit me from time to time, but they stopped when we found out about my dad's heart condition.

I felt guilty. I felt like the worst son I could be for not visiting him. Maybe now was finally the time.

"Yes, I'll be there in a few minutes" I breathed out.

"Great! Thank you, honey" She said happily and ended the call.

Amara had a lot in common with her mother, although she looked more like her father, her attitude was exactly like her mother's. It had always been that way and it still hasn't changed.

________

I walked in the hallway hesitantly, a little nervous to see them.

I saw my parents sitting on the chairs outside of a room while Mrs Tanner was talking to them.

I cleared my throat and they all looked at me.

There was a small pause until my mom smiled. I was happy to see her smile. I was hoping she would accept me.

She stood up and walked towards me before hugging me, "I missed you, Ryder" She said.

I could see my dad wasn't too happy. He was just shocked. I didn't blame him, I mean I never visited him even after I found out he's sick.

"Father" I called out after my mom let me go.

"Hello Ryder, it's nice to see you again" He said.

I cringed at the formality but decided to leave it at that and give him time. He would come around eventually.

"Mrs Tanner, it's nice to see you" I said holding out my hand for her to shake.

"Oh stop being so formal Ryder" She chuckled and hugged me instead of shaking my hand, "And I think I've told you to just call me Clara, a million times by now" She said pulling away.

Mrs Tanner had always been like a second mother to me. She was a really sweet lady.

"I'm sorry" I chuckled, "Is Mr Tanner awake? Can I see him?" I asked her.

"Of course, go ahead" He said gesturing towards the door.

I took a deep breath and walked into the door.

He was indeed awake.

"Ryder" He grasped out with a subtle smile when he realized who I was, "I was waiting for you"

"How are you Mr Tanner?" I asked concerned.

To be honest, he didn't seem really well. His voice had almost died out and he was coughing a lot.

"I'm as good as I always am" He said.

"With all due respect sir, you don't sound too good" I said.

Mr Tanner was a man I respected a lot. He'd helped me many times and he was a wise man. I was grateful he still didn't hate me because of everything.

"You're talking about my voice?" He said before attempting to laugh, "That's from too many cigarettes"

Well, I guess even wise men make mistakes.

"How is Amara?" He asked frowning.

I almost choked on air when I realized what he'd asked.

"Wha-Sir, I don't have her. Jason's father is simply assuming stuff that aren't true" I rushed out.

"You don't need to lie to me" He grinned, "You've always taken care of her. Always protected her. This time is no different. Thank you, Ryder" He said.

"Sir-"

"let it go Ryder, I already know"

I looked down sighing, "How did you find out?" I asked.

Maybe if I knew how he found out, I could hide the clues.

"I simply know you too well. I didn't want my daughter to marry that good for nothing asshole. Why do you think we sent you an invitation to the wedding?" He questioned.

Wow I feel used.

Now it makes sense. Amara would never want to invite me. Not after I left her.

"I was sure that you would come to the rescue and you didn't disappoint" He chuckled, "Did you manage to convince Jason's father tha you don't have her?" He asked.

"Not fully, but I'm working on it"

"Thank you for protecting her Ryder and please keep her as happy as you can"

Of course I would. I get frustrated when she's not happy.

"Yes sir"

"Thank you for visiting" He said giving me a smile.

I nodded and exited the room.

________

I couldn't sleep at all. My head was filled with worry. I was worried about her and how she was doing.

Maybe I should call Gordon.

I crossed that one out since he was probably sleeping and I didn't want to scare him, but I wanted to know how she was.

I suddenly got the crazy urge to go see her. It was after midnight and she was probably asleep by now. Plus, it would take me an hour to get there. I didn't want to scare her, but maybe I could just see her without waking her up.

My mind wandered to the last time I saw her before leaving.

*flashback*

I kept my eyes on the TV even though I wasn't really paying any attention to it. I kept thinking about how to tell her. She wouldn't take it nicely.

Should I even tell her? She'll start asking questions.

I sighed and kept twirling a strand of her soft hair between my fingers. She was sitting in my lap with her back to my front and we were watching a movie in her room.

I hadn't realized these would be my last moments with her. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I didn't want it to be like this.

"Hey can I-" I trailed off when I saw she was sleeping peacefully in my lap. I smiled looking down at her.

She had a little frown on her face. I guess she was dreaming.

Just then, I realized something. I couldn't tell her I was leaving tomorrow. I couldn't wake her up to tell her and see the hurt in her eyes. I wouldn't be able to leave after seeing her hurt.

What if she asked me to stay? I wouldn't be able to say no.

What if she cried? I would hug her and tell her I would never leave her.

But I had to leave. It was the best decision for everyone. I didn't even want to think of her reaction or else I would decide to just stay here.

Maybe I could stay for a week longer, just to say goodbye to her and leave without any remorse.

No, I have to go now.

I slowly lifted her and laid her on her bed.

I sat next to her sleeping form for a few minutes just looking at her.

I raised my hand and stroked her face gently, careful not to disturb her sleep.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish I didn't have to go" I whispered half hoping she could hear me.

I leaned in and kissed her forehead and then her cheek. I just wanted to stay there all night. I hadn't had enough of seeing her yet. This little girl had grown to be my best friend and my little sister and who knows what else and she had no clue.

"I promise I'll be back before you know it"

*End of flashback*

I snapped out of my trance and got off the bed walking towards my stuff.

"I need to see her"