One Kiss

Amara

I didn't think his behavior could become more confusing when he started ranting about having to control himself around me, but it certainly did when he grabbed my face and came too close to me.

My mind was telling me to shove him away and run at first, I was a little panicked because I wasn't used to so much physical contact and so much closeness, but as his breathing calmed down, I started feeling more relaxed and comfortable.

I felt my features relax and I took a deep breath.

"What are you doing?" I asked  applying slight pressure on his chest.

"I thought I'd made my feelings clear but you're so oblivious" He said harshly.

Excuse me!?

"What did you just say!?" I asked getting angry, "What feeling are you even talking about!?"

Of course I knew what feelings he was talking about, but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to convince myself that he saw me like that because there was a slight possibility that he didn't. Maybe he hated me and there I was, thinking it was the opposite. I didn't want to be disappointed.

I prefer being pleasantly surprised.

He chuckled bitterly, "Completely oblivious"

"First of all, let me go" I said applying more pressure on his chest.

"I'm not letting you go, not this time"

Bitch..

"What are you going to do then? We're just going to stand here like that all day?" I asked trying to knock some sense into him.

His face was so close, so close that my nose was touching his, so close that I could feel the ends of his hair tickle my forehead.

I didn't know if I liked the closeness too much or if I was simply terrified.

"That's not what I want to do" He said, his voice becoming softer.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

He wasn't even looking at me at this point, he was staring down at my lips and I was scared he was about to do what I was thinking he was about to do.

"You promise you'll let me?" He asked looking back up into my eyes.

"As long as it's not too too far" I said hoping that it was just a prank.

Even though I'd be disappointed if he didn't mean all the things he said.

"Not too far" He repeated nodding his head.

Psycho ass.

"I just want one kiss and that's it"

Even though I saw it coming, I was still in shock hearing it from him.

This man was here asking me for a kiss when he probably could have every girl he wanted with his charming, charismatic, mysterious personality and his drop dead gorgeous looks. Not to mention his strong, tall form.

Of course I wanted to kiss him. I could not say no to that, but I had to. The timing and the whole situation was just wrong.

"Ryder" I breathed out his name quietly, "You know I want to-" I smiled and he smiled back, "-but it's wrong" I said and watched his smile turn into a look of disappointment.

"One kiss won't hurt, right? Just one, I promise" He whispered holding my face.

"It's wrong" I said. I knew I was just lying to myself.

I didn't even care that it was wrong at this point, I wanted to kiss him.

"I've waited so long for one kiss" He whispered his lips a breath away from mine.

"When you left I thought I meant nothing to you. You can't do this to me now" I said feeling vulnerable.

"I'll show you just how much you mean to me" He whispered and leaned in.

Before I could react, his lips were already on mine lingering there before he started kissing the life out of me. He didn't waste another second trying to hold back.

His big lips moved with such anticipation that it was hard for me to keep up. He was, no doubt, a great kisser, even if I hadn't kissed many other boys before, I could tell.

For the first time in my life, I felt wanted. I felt like I had some attention on me, like I wasn't alone, like there was nothing else to worry about. It was just me and him.

One of his hands slipped down from my face to the back of my neck. He laced his fingers through the roots of my hair and pulled slightly which oddly, felt good.

When he tried to slide his tongue in my mouth I realized what was happening. We couldn't continue this, at least not now that we had to deal with so many things.

I pushed him away and took a step back.

We were both panting, his breathing was a little more controlled while I was completely out of breath.

He never took his gaze off of me, he was piercing me with his stare.

"Why did you push me away?" He asked.

"You said just one kiss" I said after I'd calmed down.

"Just one more, I promise-"

"No!" I said.

I think I was more disappointed than he was, because I wanted to kiss him so bad.

"Why not? It happened once-"

"I said no" I said firmly.

"Okay" He mumbled quietly and looked down.

"I still want to see my dad" I said crossing my arms.

"I'm sorry, but you can't"

"I don't care, I need to see him. I need to know he's okay" I insisted.

"Amara, you will not see him"

"I did what you asked" I whispered shaking my head.

"We both wanted it. Don't tell me you didn't want it"

"Let me talk to him at least. Please" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" He said.

"Until when are you keeping me locked up in here? You're keeping me locked up in a house, not letting me see my dad who is hospitalized. You haven't even answered any of my questions. I deserve to know"

He didn't answer me. He couldn't even look at me, he just looked down and sighed.

"I promise that when I come back, I'll tell you everything" He said finally looking up at me.

I sighed and crossed my arms again. I didn't really have a choice so I decided to agree with him.

Let's just hope he'll be honest for once.

________

The realization hit me a few hours after Ryder had left.

We kissed.

I couldn't believe that I'd kissed him. The guy that used to be my childhood best friend. The guy that left me and didn't say a word.

He felt like a whole different person. He'd changed so much in all these years that he was away.

And we didn't even said a word about the kiss. Are we supposed to just forget about it now!? I can't forget about it!

I heard a soft knock on the door snapping me out of my daze.

"Come in" I said.

I saw Mary's head poking from behind the door hesitantly with a nervous looking smile.

"Hello Miss Tanner" She said quietly, "I just came to check on you. Gordon said you were a little upset" she said walking in and closing the door behind her.

So they're on first name basis huh? Suspicious.

"Yeah I was, but I'm okay now. Thank you for coming to check on me and please call me Amara instead of Miss Tanner" I said with a smile.

"Okay, Amara" She said with a hesitant chuckle.

Before she could leave I said, "You seem happier than usual"

Which I regretted because it probably sounded rude, but her expression didn't change.

"I-I just slept well" She said.

"Well I'm happy for you. Make sure to get some rest. Let me know whenever you need help with anything around the house, okay?"

"Okay" She mumbled.

"I mean it" I said giving her a reassuring look.

She nodded her head mumbling a 'thank you' and left the room closing the door on her way out.

I fell down on my bed and sighed.

I just hope Ryder won't take too much time coming back