Chapter 12

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Even with the amount of alcohol Addison's consumed, her body aches from being crammed inside the old car for so long. The good thing is the alcohol's numbed the burning in her ankles. Her legs cross, trying to get more comfortable as she straightens and twists her back, getting the pops and relieving some of the soreness. A thin layer of sweat coats all of their faces, her shirt and pants sticking to her like glue. The baby hairs sticking out of her ponytail cling to every sweating part of her neck and face it can find, and with her face so hot from a mixture of, mostly alcohol, and being enclosed in the tight space with no ventilation, it made it quite irritating trying to move them. Eventually, she gave up and just left her hair alone, not caring anymore.

With Addison's boredom reaching as far as the Ark in space and the thick tension in the air, the whiskey's helping tremendously, along with the buzz from it. When it came to alcohol, she's a total light weight. Before she was arrested, she was always careful with how much she drank around people she barely knew, but now, that's not the case. After being in the Sky Box for a year with her thoughts and guilt eating her alive, the whiskey is well deserved and it was getting pretty boring for her while being trapped with Chancellor Junior giving them, but mostly Clarke, lectures about what they should or shouldn't be doing to make the time pass, especially drinking. She didn't know what else to do when she's trapped inside a hundred year old car with booze. Not drink? Yeah right....Addison wasn't gonna leave it to age anymore than it already has, and she knows no one else besides Wells was going to either.

"Clarke, pass it over." Addison slurs out, extending her hand towards the whiskey bottle. Clarke lazily looks at her, slightly drunk as well, and hands it to the younger girl. Grabbing it from her, Addison rocks her head back, letting the dark substance burn her throat on the way down.

She hands it back to Clarke and slumps more against the wall, resting her head on the wall and closes her eyes. "It's been hours. Jasper—"

"Is in good hands." Finn cuts Clarke off, "Octavia will take of him."

Addison nods slowly, agreeing with him. "Finn's right." She opens her eyes and meets Clarke's, "She will."

Clarke's face scrunches up and her eyes squint, re-situating herself. "While we're on the subject, why is it that everyone thinks me wanting Jasper to not die is a bad thing?" She tilts her head, taking a quick breath, "Like I'm such a downer," Clarke pauses, scoffing softly, "I can be fun. Yeah." She looks between Finn, Addison and Dawson, "You guys think I'm fun, right?" She questions with a raised eyebrow.

Finn looks at her and gives her a small nod, answering immediatly, "Oh, yeah. Among other things."

The corner of Clarke's lips curl into a small, triumphant smile before her head rocks to Dawson. "Totally...yeah, especially with booze." Finn chuckles lightly at his comment.

Clarke also smiles and rocks her head towards Addison, waiting for her answer. A sigh escapes her lips as she uncrosses her legs and extends them in front of herself. Addison leans forward, clasping her hands in front of her, "When you find her, let me know. I look forward to meeting her," she tease with a smile, which earns her and smack on the leg from Clarke.

Finn chuckles softly, joining her fit of laughter as does Dawson until Wells speaks, ruining it. "You're fun." He snaps, all of their eyes  snapping to him, who looks straight at Clarke. There was a brief silence until he looks down at the floor, "Y-You remember that time—"

"Remember that time you betrayed me and got my father executed?" Addison's head bows down in sorrow for Clarke, a now very tense silence following. "Yeah, I remember." She says softly, yet her voice was laced with hardness and anger. She takes a breath as Addison hears her re-situate, "Where were we? Fun."

"Yeah." Finn says softly, alomst inaudible.

Clarke's breathing changes from controlled to somewhat rapid, like she's battling her mouth to speak by using her breaths as words. "Well, since you brought it up—" Addison looks up, watching her and Wells' exchange, "—and I didn't, because I don't want to talk about it." She pauses and shakes her head, her expression turning sad. "What were you thinking?" Dawson and Addison catch eachother's eyes in concern for Clarke, before Clarke's voice brings their attention back to the duo. " 'I made a mistake, Clarke.' " Her voice cracks as she shakes her head, mocking Wells's words. "Not good enough." She scoffs softly, tears forming more heavily in her eyes. "You know, I bet you couldn't wait to run to daddy. Tell him everything so that he'd finally believe you were the perfect son he always wanted."

"What do you want me to say?!" Wells shouts.

Addison leans forward, ready to stand up and defend Clarke. Her head tilts to the side with a stern voice, "Wells."

"No." Finn says softly, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to her previous spot.

She looks at him uncertainly before reluctantly nodding, knowing he's right. Their quarrel isn't something she should get in the middle of because it isn't any of her buisness. "I want an explantion." Clarke responds to Wells desprately.

Silence fills the old car again as Wells looks down, shaking his head. "I can't give you one." He says softly with a sad face. "I thought I could trust him."

Addison's eyes move to Clarke, who shakes her head and holds back her tears, laying back down in her original spot with pressed lips. She looks at the spot near Addison's feet, "Well, I thought I could trust my best friend." Her blue eyes then move up to Wells, "Guess we were both wrong."

"I'm still your friend." Wells tries telling her differently, but Clarke isn't having it.

"No, you're not. If you were my friend, you would walk out into that fog and never come back." She says quickly before her tears would surface and interrupt, taking a long drink from the whiskey bottle in her hands, her surfacing tears disappearing.

Addison knows Clarke doesn't mean what she said, but who is she to say she knows what Clarke wants or means? She barely knows her. Addison's not quick to judge Clarke's harsh words, even though most people would. If Liam was the reason her mother died, she wouldn't know how to react or what she'd say or do. She likes to believe she wouldn't say what Clarke had said, and believe she wouldn't wish death upon her best friend, but she also knows that deep down, she's wrong, and that terrifies Addison.

"Okay, how about we just..." Finn lifts his hands up and brings them down slowly, "...take it easy."

Clarke locks eyes with Finn, responding harshly, "I have no idea how to do that."

After Clarke's statement, Wells grabs the bottle Finn must've took from Clarke when Addison wasn't looking and sniffles before he rocks the liquid back.

"So, we having fun yet?" Finn questions sarcastically. Addison scoffs, catching his attention. "What?" He asks innocently, like his question didn't make the air thicker between Clarke and Wells.

"Why do you act like that?"

Addison's eyes snap over to Wells in confusion, "What?"

He gestures to her with the hand the whiskey's in, "Y-You act like you haven't done anything bad on the Ark, but I know that's not true. I know the truth about you."

Addison swallows the dryness in her throat at his confession. A dark eyebrow raises and her head tilts, challenging him. "And what would that be, Jaha?"

He looks down, fidgeting with the bottle. Just when she thinks he isn't going to say anything, she relaxes against the dropship. "Avery Williams."

2 years ago. Agro Station.

It's been a week since Addison's stolen anything from Agro. She has only been doing walk bys to see what's new, which doesn't happen very often, before stealing. But this last time, a certain plant caught her eye. It was a really rare medicinal herb grown by the Williams family. To buy it, she'd at least need between 300-400 credits, for the small leaf, or way more than 400 credits to buy the whole thing. Someone from Alpha could easily afford it, like Liam's family, but she wasn't going to drag him into this one. He's already done so much for her and her family, and he has a family of his own.

Sneaking down the halls to Agro was the easiest part, but it got complicated when Addison finally reached the Williams' small farm area. A woman was tidying around the area, cleaning the small messes made through out the day around the plants and the buy/sell bar that's set up.

She scans the surrounding area, making sure there was no one but the woman. Fortunately for Addison, luck seemed to be on her side tonight. She looks back at the lovely herb that will, hopefully, have her mother feeling as good as new in no time.

Her footsteps quietly make contact with the grey floor as she crouches lowly, dragging her fingertips across the cold floor. She comes to the section the herb's placed at, maneuvering between the other isles and plants to get to it. The medicinal herb shes had her sights on earlier this day was just in her grasp, until her luck ran out.

"Hey! You're not suppose to be here!"

Her head snaps up to the woman with wide and panicked eyes, knowing she's been caught. She quickly rises to her feet, backing away from the herb slowly as the woman gets closer.

"Guards. Guards!" She begins shouting. No sooner than her voice rings out, Addison's ears catch multiple quick and heavy footsteps down the coriddor.

Out of panic, she rushes up to the woman and knocks her to the ground. Quickly climbing on top of her and covers the woman's mouth with her hand, desperately trying to keep the woman quiet. "Ssssh, please." Addison whispers, hearing the footsteps come closer. The woman begins to thrash more, her body moving around from the force.

Addison re-situates herself so her weight keeps the woman from moving too much more. As the footsteps near, a thought runs through Addison's mind—a dark one. Having no other choice, the index and middle finger on her other hand pinches the woman's nose, not allowing any oxygen to come through her nose. Addison's other hand stays clasped over the woman's mouth with tears brimming in her brown eyes.

"I'm s-sorry. I'm so-soo s-sorry....." Addion whispers, tears falling onto the woman as she thrashes under Addison. "It's th-the only way. It's the only way..." she repeats to herself, squeezing her eyes shut and repeats the words over and over, like it's the only thing she can do.

Finally, just as the guardsmen begin to start their descend towards them, the woman's movements stop and her eyes close forever, going limp. She releases a ragged breath and slowly removes her shaky hands away from the woman's mouth and nose, her tears falling down her cheeks more rapidly. "I-I'm sorry...May We Meet Again," she says quietly and stands up.

Addison looks over her shoulder and begins to see black figures rushing down the corridor, "Hey, you! Stop right there! You're under arrest!"

She wipes her tears and quickly takes off in the opposite direction, running as fast as her jello-ey legs can carry her away from the scene. Their footsteps approach more rapidly as she rounds the corner, catching herself on the corner of the wall when her foot slips, not once slowing down until she reaches it. A vent.

Her trembling hands fiddle with it until it opens and she crawls in, putting the vent back up just as the guardsmen run down the corridor. Addison holds her breath as they run past her, searching. Once their footsteps weren't heard any longer, she releases a broken sob.

She brings her legs to her chest and covers her face with her hands, crying into them. She killed someone, and there is no undoing what she had just done. She will forget have to live with the guilt of being a murder, and the worst part is, she didn't without a second thought.

Present Day. Earth.

Addison's eyes slowly open and darken with a clenched jaw, meeting Wells's eyes that stare back at her. The memory hitting just as hard as her landing on Earth. As quick as her eyes darken, they soften and turn sad. She averts her gaze to her hands, the same hands that killed the woman.

Tears begin to surface as she stares at her boots. "Hey," Clarke gently rests her hand on Addison's leg.

Addison flenches and quickly brings her legs to her chest away from Clarke and clasps her arms around them. Her brown eyes squeeze shut, keeping her tears in as she shakes her head, "Don't...please, Clarke." Addison whispers, keeping her eyes close.

She bows her head in shame, resting her forehead on her knees as she squeezes her eyes tighter. All she can see behind her eyelids is the woman—the way her eyes widen when she realized what Addison was doing, how her body desperately thrashed underneath her in desperate attempts to get away and stay alive...the muffles of the woman's terrified screams into Addison's hand as she watched the light leave her eyes.

She never wants to experience the guilt of killing someone ever again, or see the pain in the their loved one's eyes—especially the pain in their children's eyes, knowing they'll never have any memories with their parent again. Maybe her mother dying is what she deserves after she murdered the woman, maybe it was the universe telling her that even if it was for good reason, there will always been consequences. But Addison knows there is never a good reason to kill anyone. No matter who they are or what they've done, no one deserves to die.

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