Chapter 23

~~~~~~~~unedited~~~~~~~~

Shortly after Addison accepted Dawson's comforting embrace, she parts ways with him, waiting to be alone. Her legs carry her near one of the camp's more secluded walls to a fallen log used by delinquents to sit on and converse after their days work. She plops down on it with her hands clamped together and elbows on her knees, her eyes shifting between the soil beneath her boots and a certain tent.

A shiver runs down her spine and spreads throughout her body from the significantly colder wind that picks up. She lifts her head up from her gaze on the dirt to the sky, rubbing her hands up and down her arms for warmth.

The sky starts rumbling and dark clouds start forming, signalling a storm is coming. A soft sigh escapes her lips, shifting her gaze back to her surroundings. Her hair begins to softly blow around in different directions as she watches some of the delinquents scramble around camp to find things Clarke needs for Finn while some simply carry on with their duties. Worry fills her once again as she shifts her gaze to the tent she's been watching, her hands clamping around her arms tighter for warmth.

The look of anger and hurt she saw on Octavia's features before she disappeared inside tore her heart. She hates to see the people she cares hurt in anyway or form. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, nervously waiting for Octavia to come out at any moment, but she never does.

Addison quickly glances around camp once more before she stands up, slowly walking to the girl's tent. She keeps her arms folded, sending occasional smiles to some of the younger delinquents she passes out of kindness, and a small wave to Harper and a dark skinned boy with a beanie she's seen around before that's at the girl's side.

"Addison!" Harper calls just as she passes the table the girl's stood at, the brunette stopping in her tracks.

She glances over her shoulder as Harper waves her over with a smile. Reluctantly, Addison goes in the opposite direction of Octavia's tent, but not before eyeing it one last time. The brunette stops at the makeshift table in front of Harper, a small smile on her face as she greets the girl, "Hey, Harper."

"Are you busy?" Harper asks hopefully with a raised brow. "We could use some help sorting these out," she adds, holding up a rations pack in each hand.

Addison moves her gaze from her and to the tent, a leg beginning to bounce anxiously, "Uh, y-yeah." She bounces her eyes between the duo, "I can help you guys later, now's just not a good time."

Harper nods in understanding with pressed lips, "That's ok. I know you've been busy with everything going on," she offers her a tight lipped smile.

"I'm sorry, Harper, really. It's just—"

"Octavia," the boy making the rations cuts Addison off, glancing at the girl.

She snaps her eyes to him, "What? Who even are you?"

"Nathan Miller," he introduces, sliding a neatly finished pack to Harper.

"You're part of Bellamy's little pow-wow force, right?" Addison asks, studying the boy in front of her.

He shifts his eyes to her with a nod, "Yeah."

"Miller," Bellamy's voice booms. Addison looks over her shoulder at him and another boy at his side, but Bellamy keeps his determined eyes on the boy, "Come with me." He demands, sparing Addison a small glance before Miller joins their sides and they walk off, conversing in close proximity that make her brows knit in confusion.

"He has impeccable timing," the brunette says quietly, facing Harper once again. She chuckles, taking over Miller's current duty. "If he's part of Bellamy's little force, why's he making rations?"

"Dawson thought it was best if we focus more on making sure we have enough food for everyone," she responds, wrapping the rations up tightly and putting it in a pile. Addison nods, glancing at Octavia's tent once again. The tent flaps are still in the same spot, indicating that she hasn't exited yet. "Go, Addison." Harper chuckles under her breath softly with a smile.

Addison moves her gaze to Harper's, "I promise I'll make it up to you," she apologetically replies.

The girl shakes her head with a small laugh, "It's ok, Addison. You have priorities and she's one of them."

Addison smiles, her body flushing at Harper's words as that warm feeling erupts every time she's with Octavia. With a nod, the brunette takes her leave to the Octavia's tent.

To her, it felt like had time slowed until she reached the familiar tent. Her heart pumping from Harper's words and from her nerves at the possibility of Octavia not being as ok as she's going to tell Addison she is. Addison knows Octavia enough to know how the girl thinks in that aspect. She never wants other people to worry about her, which is something she and Octavia have in common.

Her hand barely kisses the tent flap before she pauses, hearing the soft sniffles that confirm she's not ok, but Addison already knew that deep down. Slowly, she opens the flap just enough to poke her head inside and see the raven-haired girl. She's hunched over on the ground, legs pulled to her chest and her arms enclosing them with her forehead on her knees.

Addison's heart shatters at the sight, her previous thoughts that were racing nonstop through her mind when she was with Dawson immediately vanishing. She fully enters the tent, letting the tent flap close behind her. "Hey," she greets gently, catching Octavia's attention.

The girl slowly lifts her head and meets the brunette's worried brown eyes with her glossy green ones. Addison quickly glances over her shoulder to make sure the tent flap's completely closed before meeting Octavia's glossy eyes again. She walks further into the tent and crouches down in front of her, keeping their eyes locked.

Addison brushes a few strands of hair out of Octavia's face, tucking it behind her ear and wipes a tear that slips down her rosy red cheeks. Instead of asking the stupid question everyone in Octavia's position hates being asked, she tells her wholeheartedly, "I'm here for you, Tavia."

Octavia nods with a tight lipped smile, another tear slipping down her other cheek. She sniffles and gently grabs Addison, bringing her to her.

"I don't think so, Blake." The brunette laughs out when Octavia tries getting her to lay on her chest.

Addison shifts them so Octavia's resting her head on her chest instead, "This is the only time you get to cuddle me like this," the girl grumbles, a chuckle erupting from the other.

Addison starts raking her fingers through Octavia's greasy hair, continuing to chuckle softly, "It's ok to have someone cuddle you every once in a while."

Octavia nods with a sigh, "I know..." she breathes out quietly.

Addison's soft chuckling ceases at her tone of voice, her lips pressing together. "It doesn't make you weak, Octavia." She says softly, knowing exactly where her mind is going to.

"It feels like it," the raven-haired girl replies, scooting more into Addison. "My whole life I've been protected by someone and I never had anyone to protect like Bellamy or my mom..." she trails off quietly.

"It's ok to have people protecting you. It means they care," Addison responds, twisting her fingers around at the bottom of her hair to get a knot out.

"I care about you but you don't need protecting like I do," Octavia quickly responds in a hard voice.

Addison's heart stops, her fingers that were once combing through Octavia's hair ceasing. The breath in her lungs escape her as quick as the words effortlessly flowed off Octavia's lips. She quickly continues to rake her fingers through the girl's hair, hoping she wouldn't notice she had stop or the fact how her heart had increasingly picked up.

Addison couldn't help the smile forming on her lips, despite the tone in Octavia's voice when she spoke mere seconds ago. She noticed how rigid the girl's posture had gotten and how tense her body became in her arms.

"You protect me from the radioactive—"

"If you say butterflies, I'm going to—"

"Butterflies." With out warning, the back of Octavia's hand makes contact with Addison's stomach.

She groans, an imagine of a hunched over Liam when she herself does the same to him flashes her mind. A small laugh escapes her lips, Octavia lifting her head up and grins. She props herself on one hand with a smile and hangs her head down, her hair falling with her that creates a curtain. Addison's smile widens when the girl lifts her head back up with a wider smile, showing off her teeth.

Octavia's smile suddenly disappears, her gaze turning down to her hands. "Do you ever want to runaway, and never come back?"

Addison's head tilts to the side slightly with furrowed brows, "Runaway? Like, leave camp?" Octavia nods, tracing her fingers up and down the seam of her pant leg. "Sometimes," the brunette responds quietly.

"I want to," the other girl says just as quietly before her head snaps up with a sudden light that fills her once sad green eyes. "What if we did and never looked back?"

Addison's lips part, her breath hitching at the idea of running away with the girl in front of her. Just the thought excites her more than anything. Addison would go with Octavia anywhere in a heartbeat, but if she did runaway, she'd be leaving behind her best friend. Her brother. A battle within her starts, her heart fighting her head. Her heart says yes, but her head tells her no.

"What about—"

Octavia snorts, "My brother doesn't care." She states bitterly, her jaw clenching, "I ruined his life the day I was born, I got our mother killed because I was born. He hates me..."

Addison's expression tremendously softens, her eyes turning sad. "Octavia," she whispers, grabbing the hand that continues to trace the seam of her pants.

The raven hair girl slowly meets Addison's eyes, tears brimming them once more. How do you respond to something like that? Addison so desperately wants to know, but she doesn't have a clue. She wants to say something, anything to the hurting girl to make her feel better, but she can't. She ops for an action instead of words, pulling the older girl to her. Addison's arms lock around the girl's frame, smoothing her hair down as she releases cries into Addison's shoulder with her own arms tightly wrapped around her.

Now Addison understands where Octavia was coming from with her running away idea. Her brother's why and it saddened Addison to think the one person Octavia truly loves and trusts with all her heart is making her feel this way. Addison begins to quickly let her heart win, even though their could be consequences to the choice. Liam would be devastated and hurt, but as she's holding the crying girl, Addison doesn't care what he'll think.

"Let's do it," the brunette says, continuing to rake her fingers through Octavia's hair until she pulls back enough to meet Addison's eyes.

Her dark brow raises ever so slightly and her voice comes out small, "Really?"

Addison nods with a small smile, moving her hands to Octavia's cheeks and brushes away old and new tears, "Just say when and I'll follow."

Octavia moves her hands to Addison's face, too, gently caressing her cheeks with a forming smile, "Where would you want to go?"

The brunette chuckles softly, "This is your plan, not mine, Miss Blake."

The corner of Octavia's lips curl into a much wider smile, "I wouldn't have gone through without you," she responds seriously, Addison's smile slowly fading and matching the girl's now serious face.

"Octavia have you seen—" The girls jump apart, quickly turning their heads with wide eyes at the voice. Liam's brows raise with a knowing smile, "O-Oh!" He laughs out, flickering his eyes between them.

Addison clears her throat, avoiding Octavia's eyes, "What are you doing here, Liam?"

"Uh, right..." he clears his throat, too, trying to suppress his laughter, "Raven sent me to get you."

"Why?" Octavia asks quickly, not missing a beat.

"She didn't say, but you guys are busy." Liam responds, his eyes drifting to a confused Addison, "I'll tell her you're busy. Carry on," he gives Addison a quick thumbs up as she glares at him.

He chuckles and sends her a reassuring wink before taking his leave, tent flap dangling close. Addison releases a nervous breath, shaking her head with a small laugh, "I can't believe him," she mumbles under her breath, Octavia chuckling at her words. Addison raises her brows, turning her head to Octavia, "That's Liam for you." The brunette cracks a smile, "Until our great escape, on to our regularly never ending schedule of craziness." Addison breathes out, glancing at where Liam had been standing moments ago.

She gets to her feet with a huff, but not before getting pulled back down by her hand. Her brown eyes confusingly meet Octavia's, "When we know if Finn can be saved, we'll go." Addison immediately nods in agreement, giving the girl's hand a gentle squeeze before she actually gets to her feet.

The actuality of running away with the girl she has the biggest crush on sinks in, a smile creeping its way to her lips. Her eyes then widen at the sudden realization of how close they were before Liam barged in. She replays the moment in her head, remembering the warmness of Octavia's breath on her face. Her smile uncontrollably widens and the entirety of her body flushes.

She stops at the exit with her wide smile and glances over her shoulder at Octavia before scurrying out of the Blake's tent. Addison immediately gets a mouthful of hair from the strong winds, her brows furrowing as she spits the hair out of her mouth. The clouds had grown a lot darker than she last saw them, the sky rumbling softly with the cold winds blowing. The storm is here, and it's timing couldn't be more than impeccable with the current situation.

Addison's wide smile and flushed body disappears as reality sinks back in; Finn's dying with a dagger in his chest, all because of his curious nature with the foghorn. The dagger could've been in her if she were slightly closer, but Finn happened to be. She didn't want him to die like the many unfortunate ones that have been lost already. All she can do is hope, despite what she said to Dawson, because in reality, hope has been keeping her going since her first day on the ground—the day Jasper got speared. And if Addison was to put every ounce of the hope she criticized to Dawson about in one person, it would be the one and only, Clarke Griffin.

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