Chapter 28

~~~~~~~~unedited~~~~~~~~

Addison blankly glided her knife down the long piece of wood, jaw clenched as she sharpened it to a point, and watched some of the wood shavings flake into the fire she's near, while the rest fell into the mud on and around her boots.

Addison blankly glides her knife down the long piece of wood, her jaw clenching as she sharpens it to a point and watches some of the wood shavings flake into the fire she's near while the rest fall into the mud on and around her boots. The events from days ago are still fresh in her mind, the mixture of anger and sadness always present. She'll be fine one minute then snap the next, her moods having become unpredictable. Just after the events unfolded, Addison had snapped when a delinquent looked her way with the wrong expression, and now, he's got a broken nose.

Since she broke the poor kid's nose, everyone's kept their distance from her, except the select few that can tolerate her and her cold exterior she's gained. She's pushed Jasper, Monty, and even Liam away, all so she doesn't have to face the truth and reality of it all. Despite her boyfriend healing from his stab wound, Raven's been helping her more than others, constantly talking about nonsense to keep Addison's mind busy. Everyday, Raven's been checking on the girl, having made it a daily routine that Addison's come to notice.

It warmed the parts of her heart that ached and felt cold that Raven's been there for her, not once shying away when she snaps. All the times Raven's merely given Addison an, 'are you done?' face with crossed arms and a lifted brow when she snaps, made the younger brunette think of Octavia and how even after she confessed about killing Avery Williams, Octavia has never judged or been scared of her. Any sane person would've disregarded Addison like a dirty napkin and she was scared, terrified that Octavia would, but she didn't, and Addison loved-liked it.

At the mere thought of the raven-haired girl, the gliding of her knife became harsher down, what's going to be, a spear. The kiss Dawson sprung on her truly surprised her, and she wouldn't have been so upset if it was sprung on quietly; preferably not in Octavia's line of sight. The look in those green eyes Addison can get lost in has been permanently imbedded in her head...every second of everyday and all throughout the night.

Five days ago

The look of hurt and betrayal was clear as day in her green eyes, Addison's heart immediately stopping, and time stopping with it. Everything around her drowns out, except Octavia; the chatters of delinquents, branches and debris being moved from one side of camp to the other, the slushing of mud beneath a passersby boots... All she can hear is the rapid pulse of her heart pumping and the quickness of her breath in her ears.

She's barely able to take a step forward before Octavia's down the ramp at a speed she didn't know was possible. Addison goes to follow after her, but a hand around her wrist stops her. She doesn't look their way, her jaw clenching as she watches Octavia's figure quickly get smaller and smaller.

"Dawson, if you don't let me go right now, I will hurt you." Addison gets out through gritted teeth, her eyes locking with Liam's confused one's across camp when Octavia's figure disappears.

"Addison—"

She spins around, "Don't you think you've done enough already?!" Addison shouts, her voice echoing throughout camp.

Dawson remains silent, his blue eyes drilling into Addison's deep brown ones. "What the hell is going on?" Clarke demands in a stern voice, coming to the brunette's side. "Let her go," she tells the boy that towers over the both of them.

"Butt out, Clarke." He replies, barely sparing the blonde girl a glance.

"Hey!" A loud shout grabs his and everyone else's attention, Dawson's large figure getting shoved back and his once iron grip disappearing from Addison's wrist. "The hell's your problem." Raven demands, standing more in front of Addison after she had wormed her way between her and Clarke.

Dawson releases a deep sarcastic laugh, his dirty blonde brows lifting up at someone in particular behind the trio of girls, "Come on, Bellamy...you really gonna let her get away with that?" Bellamy's chin raises, his arms staying folded across his chest. The blonde boy's lips curl into an almost wicked smile that sends Addison's blood boiling.

"Dawson..." she draws out breathlessly with a shake of her head, but it was too late, and he was too angry to stop.

"She would be screwing your darling little sister right now if it wasn't for me!" He yells, a circle made of the delinquents forming around Raven, Clarke, Addison, Dawson, and now Bellamy, who's stepping further into the circle.

"What did you say?" Bellamy asks lowly, getting in Dawson's face.

Dawson doesn't back down, his chin jutting out to the convicted girl over Bellamy's shoulder. "They were practically eye—"

The Blake's clenched fist makes contact with his cheek, the boy's body being sent to the ground. "Bellamy!" Clarke cries, leaving Addison and Raven's side, and standing in between Dawson and Bellamy.

Addison goes to follow after her, but Raven throws her arm in front of her, shaking her head. "I wouldn't if I were you," she says quietly when Addison looks her direction.

"He's just trying to get under your skin." Clarke says in a soft yet stern voice to get her sentence through Bellamy's head. She then steps closer to the raven-haired boy, "Don't let him," she finishes firmly.

Bellamy remains planted, his deadly glare fixed on Dawson still. Addison knows her outburst will cause nothing but more trouble, but she feels obligated to. "Bellamy," she calls softly, breathlessly and almost inaudibly, like if she were to speak any louder she'd pass out from exhaustion. Addison ignores Raven's quiet plea to stay out of it, and takes slow steps towards the angry Blake, gently pushing the older brunette's arm out of her way.

"Is that true?" He asks in a hard voice. She glances at Clarke, not knowing how to answer, but it was too late. Bellamy had already whipped around and faced her, her silence having spoke all the truth he needs to hear.

"It's not like that, Bellamy. We were talking, and he—" she points at Dawson, "—miss read the situation."

"There was nothing to miss read about that, and you know it." Dawson intervenes, getting to his feet and wipes the blood from the corner of his lip.

Addison locks her eyes on Dawson, "You were the one that miss read it, not me! So butt out," she replies in a hard voice.

"Ok, that's enough." Clarke demands, intervening once again and gets back in the middle of them. "Bellamy, she and Octavia were just talking. I heard them," she lies smoothly, Addison giving a small nod her way in gratitude when Bellamy looks at Clarke.

Dawson scoffs at the exchange, but remains silent. "Yeah? Well, if you heard them, what were they talking about?" Bellamy challenges Clarke's remark.

"What's it to you?" Raven asks, coming back to Addison's side, "She can do whatever she wants without you being there to invade her privacy," she throws at him, talking about Octavia.

"If you had a younger sibling that's your only family, you'd understand." Bellamy replies in a somewhat softer voice when speaking about his sister, but there's still a hardness present.

Addison shakes her head, tired of all the fighting. All she wants to do is go after Octavia and tell her she's sorry, about the kiss with Dawson. "Bellamy," she calls softly before Raven can utter a word his way, again. He finally looks at her, their brown eyes locking, "I would never do anything like that with her. I know you know that deep down..." she takes slow steps until she's directly in front of him, "I swear, we were just talking." She finally looks away from Bellamy and to Dawson, her face hardening slightly. "He's just mad I didn't kiss him back."

Dawson goes to move forward, but Liam intervenes this time, jumping in front of him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa..." he shoves the taller boy back, away from the small group in the center of the circle, "Hey, easy, man..." Liam calmly tells him.

Bellamy looks Addison's way, his expression unreadable and his body language unpredictable. He studies her demeanour, taking note on how her eyes are sadder and softer than usual. How the usual straightness of her posture is slumped, along with her shoulders, and the tone of her voice.

He finally nods, "I believe you."

The three words Addison never thought she'd hear Bellamy say to her were said, and she couldn't be more happy than shocked. Any other time she would've been shocked. She gratefully nods his way, relief flooding through her that this didn't end the way she thought it would've.

"Thank you, Bellamy." She whispers, slowly backing away from the small cluster of her friends.

When Addison finally turns around, she pushes through the crowd at a quick pace, heading to the spot she knows Octavia's at—the butterfly field. She practically sprints all the way there, the occasional slip and trip not once slowing her down.

Her pace does slow when she sees the girl hunched over on the log they've spent many hours and nights talking on. She stops in her tracks, feeling her bottom lip beginning to tremble, but she's able to contain it once caught. "Octavia..." Addison's voice practically breaks from the lump in her throat.

Octavia doesn't show any sign of hearing her, so Addison goes closer, ever so slowly, stopping beside her figure. "I don't wanna hear it," the girl finally whispers, keeping her head hung in her hands.

"Octavia, please—"

"I said, I don't want to hear it." Octavia replies in a more stern voice.

Addison turns her gaze to the floor, swallowing the raising lump in her throat. "It didn't mean anything—"

"I—"

"You're going to anyways, because that's the only way I can get you to listen." Addison cuts her off, lifting her gaze to the side of Octavia's head. Octavia lifts her head and glances at Addison, her eyes and cheeks red. A stray tear slips down the brunette's cheek, a sniffle soon following, and he gaze turns back to her hands that nervously fiddle in front of her. She sighs softly, speaking just as soft and quiet, "It didn't mean anything. He sprung it on me, and I didn't reciprocate it back. That's all that happened, Octavia..."

She merely scoffs, "Am I supposed to believe that?"

Addison rolls her eyes at the stubborn Blake, scoffing in disbelief. "If your brother is able to believe me, I would've thought you would, too. I guess I was wrong to even think you would," she replies bitterly, chewing on the inside of her cheek to suppress her tears.

Silence passes between them, Addison not once making a motion that would give Octavia the idea she's leaving. Addison wants Octavia to say something to her bitter reply, but she never did, only stares at the girl with an expression Addison can't decipher.

Before she has time to bite her tongue, her rising anger gets the best of her, and once the words were said and hung freely in the air, she could feel nothing but regret. "You're not the person I thought you were, Octavia Blake."

Addison spits, the words stinging as they rolled off her tongue. Octavia shifts her gaze to the forest floor, the regret instantly flooding, especially when the brunette hears the unmistakable sound of a tear dropping onto a leaf—Octavia's tear.

Addison rocks her head up to the high hanging branches above their head, squeezing her eyes shut. The gesture doesn't work, the need for crying only intensifying when she hears the continuation of Octavia's tears, the permanent image of Octavia's face when she spoke imbedded in the back of her eyelids.

She slowly reopens her eyes, their glossy eyes meeting. "Running away is off the table, by the way," Addison inaudibly whispers, hoping Octavia didn't hear, but the girl's tone in her response broke her heart even more.

"Addie..." her voice breaks, only being able to get half of Addison's name out before she chokes on a sob. The said girl can't bring herself to look at Octavia...not after the breaking of her voice hit Addison's ears.

She bites her bottom lips, sniffling harshly and exhales sharply, shaking her head and sprints off, away from the butterfly field.

Addison's changed as a whole since that day, her impenetrable façade up to mask what she's truly feeling—pain, sadness, guilt, and above all, hurt. She hasn't felt her emotions swirl this bad since her mother's passing, and the few weeks after she heard the news. The constant ache that stays in her chest like an annoying pimple, and a side of huge regret to top it off.

"You ok?" Harper's caring and concerned voice brings Addison from her thoughts, a soft sigh escaping the brunette's lips.

She swallows the dryness in her throat, turning around in her spot to lean the spear against the rack of other makeshift weapons she's made. "Same shit, different day." Addison responds emotionless, facing the fire once again and begins to mess around with the knife in her hands.

She slowly runs her thumb over her name that's neatly carved into the handle with a sad smile. The hand-writing is almost as foreign as the girl that carved it, and she doesn't like the idea of it.

"I'm sure you guys will figure it out," Harper finally says after a brief moment of silence passes.

In the last four days, Addison and Harper have grown close, the two always paling around when she's not with Raven or Clarke. "I hope so," the brunette replies softly, flipping the knife around so she's not looking at her name any longer—specifically the hand-writing. "I'm gonna go get some water," she looks at the girl on the neighbouring log, "You want some?"

Harper's lips tug into a smile with a nod, "Sure. Thanks, Addison."

She returns the smile ever so smally, and stands on her feet, walking towards the water tent and tucks her knife back into the outside of her right boot. Just as she's about to open the blue and white tent flap, she hears Raven's voice, her boots planting themselves into the mud in a sudden stop.

"I'd hate to see the other guy," she says in her casual Raven Reyes tone.

"You did, when you were torturing him." Octavia replies, not missing a beat.

Just hearing her voice made the pit in Addison's stomach appear and her nerves to jumble, despite what happened five days prior. Addison quietly and ever so slowly walks closer to the tent, eavesdropping with ease, now that she's closer.

There was a short silence filled with nothing

but the rigging of water and water being slowly poured into the bowl. "Finn was dying," Raven replies to Octavia's previous comment, "I'm not gonna apologize for doing what I had to do."

"Pfft...sounds familiar," the brunette outside mumbles under her breath to herself at the déjà vu of Raven's words.

"You would've done the same thing if Addison was the one dying." The mechanic points out, not missing a beat, either.

Addison perks up at the mention of herself, having become more involved and interested in their conversation. She was hoping Octavia would say something, anything. But she never did. A slightly longer silence fills the tent, the younger brunette getting to her feet to barge in if the silence wasn't soon broken, but luckily for her, it finally was. "It must suck to come all the way down here to find out your boyfriend is into somebody else," Octavia throws at the mechanic after her poke that was really a true, factual statement. But not to the Blake girl...

Addison's eyes widen at the girl's rude comment, the water shutting off and Raven's voice soon following, "I'm not doing this with you." Addison hears her footsteps retreat to the exit, the tent flap raising before it's suddenly dropped, and her footsteps cease. "You know what? On second thought...It must suck having to watch the girl you're into kiss somebody else."

The tent flap is then quickly opened, Addison immediately ducking behind a bush to not get caught. Her heart races, pounding uncontrollably at Raven's words. She couldn't believe her...was Octavia really into her? Addison shakes the false hope from her head... It's not true, she tells herself. Octavia scoffing stops her quiet mumbling, hearing the raven-haired girl mumbling something under her breath before something's slammed into the bowl.

Addison is immediately on her feet, knowing the familiar sound of glass breaking. She enters the tent at a rapid pace, a sigh escaping her lips. "I knew there was a reason I made an extra one," she states aloud.

The brunette comes from behind Octavia, ignoring her gaze and grabs the bowl she made a couple of days ago, resting it where the shattered one sat. She uses the sleeve of her jacket to carefully wipe the glass shards into a nearby container, dangling her sleeve above it to get the small pieces out of the fabric of her jacket. Once the shards are cleaned up, she releases a breath, slowly turning to face Octavia.

She averts her eyes, avoiding Addison's eyes and clutches her hand to her chest, taking a step back when Addison attempts to take one forward. Addison sighs softly, her questions coming out just as soft, "You ok?" Octavia nods, clutching her hand closer to her chest. Addison rolls her eyes at the girl, releasing an irritated breath, "No, you're not, but you don't wanna talk to me. I get it," she whispers bitterly than intended, and walks towards the exit of the tent.

"Addison..." the oldest girl draws out softly, keeping her stinging hand clutched to her chest.

Addison immediately stops in her tracks, a mental debate coursing throughout her brain. For the first time ever with Octavia, she decides with a heavy heart, to go with what her brain tells her instead of her heart.

A tear slips down her cheek, Addison immediately wiping away harshly. She walks out of the tent, sniffling and head straight to the tent she hasn't been inside for days. Without so much as an alert, she barges straight into Liam's tent, her eyes going wide.

"Oh, god...I will never be able to unsee this," she mumbles, shielding her eyes.

Liam chuckles, the girl he's with immediately climbing off from on top of him and covering herself. "What the hell, Addison!" The girl screeches, Liam's chuckles turning into hysterical laughter from his best friend's flushed and embarassed face.

"Good morning to you, too." He jokes, glancing with a smile at the dirty blonde girl he's with, "We'll continue this later, and, with no interruptions."

The girl quickly nods and just as quickly gets somewhat dressed before rushing out of Liam's tent, boots in hand and her shirt clutched around her chest. Addison slowly removes her hands, heating the tent flap close behind the girl. "Liam—"

"It's nothing you havn't seen before, Addie."

"That's my own body, Liam!" She defends herself, Liam standing up and putting his shirt back on. "It's completely different," she mumbles.

"If you didn't want to see that, you should've—"

"What, knock? There's no doors, genius." She shouts, gesturing to the cracked open tent flap.

He sighs, fixing the hem of his shirt, "Then listen. You have ears for a reason," he sarcastically replies.

"I have ears to listen to other things. Not you and some girl getting it on like Donkey Kong," she grumbles sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest.

Liam bites his tongue with what he really wants to say, but decides against it, not wanting to upset the girl anymore, considering she's talking to him. He merely lifts his brows and shrugs his shoulders, holding the tent flap open for Addison.

"You haven't talked to me in days...this'll be good. What did you need?" Liam asks, Addison oblivious to his destination.

"Do I need a reason too? You're my best friend, that should be enough." Addison replies quickly.

"Ok, grumpy-pants..." he draws out, "But, you're the one that pushed me away, not the—" he cuts himself off when he opens the tent flap, entering the tent. "Woah..." he draws out with wide eyes, "What happened in here? Get in a fight with someone?"

Addison groans at the realization, following behind him nonetheless, but keeps her eyes down in hopes he isn't talking to who she thinks he's talking to. "Oh-uh..." the voice draws out awkwardly.

Addison lifts her head and clears her throat, rocking on her heels, "Well...isn't this just lovely," she sarcastically breaks the tension, her lips presses together in an awkward, tight lipped smile.

Liam looks between them with a lifted brow, slowly backing away to the exit, "You know who's really good at patching people up? Addison. So, I'm just gonna...yeah..." he draws out, scurrying out just as quickly.

"We meet again," Addison tells the girl, finally looking at her, "Told you you weren't ok," she points out.

Octavia looks at the ground, hiding the forming smile Addison caught. "I'm fine," she gets out.

"Mmm...because blood drilling down your forearm means you're fine." Addison replies, folding her arms over her chest with a calm exterior, but inside, everything was on high alert.

The pulsing of her heart and the pit in her stomach in worry, Octavia's cut looking worse than just a surface wound. Addison slowly steps towards her, unsure if Octavia'll back away, but she never did. She keeps their eyes locked, her fingers delicately making contact with Octavia's cold hands that never seem to be warm.

Addison breaks contact, her other hand coming under the girl's slightly bloody arm. She turns the water on in the new bowl she set out, filling it with enough water to clean Octavia's wound. With a spare piece of torn fabric she spots in the corner of her eye, she dabs it in the water, gently bringing it to the cut. Octavia jumps, hissing.

"Sorry..." Addison breathes out with a scrunched face, immediately stopping.

Octavia's lips curl in a faint smile, a breathless chuckle escaping her. "It's ok," she whispers, Addison's own lips forming a small smile when she sees Octavia's.

She quickly averts her eyes, going back to cleaning the wound, but she can't help but feel eyes on her that make her nervous. Eyes she's grown to love more than anything, belonging to the person she cares about more than herself.

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