Chapter 37

~~~~~~~~unedited~~~~~~~~

Liam

The words had flown out Raven's mouth minutes ago, the information still hanging freely in the air. Liam was sat in a stoney silence, unsure of what to say or even do. His mouth's agape, head tilting from side to side and brown eyes squinting as he attempted to comprehend it all, body shifting in the wooden stool every now-and-then.

"H-How?" Was all he could say, voice barely above a whisper. He had ran through every possible explanation and scenario his mind could think of, but each outcome was empty.

"I can't say much. Not until she knows," replied Raven, more audible then Liam, her own eyes still boring into the side of his head.

Liam simply nodded in understanding, hands clasping together as he finally looked up at her, "When do you—"

"Soon. Just not right now . . . not after the Exodus Ship crashed."

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Addison

The information was a hard pill to swallow, let alone trying to convince herself that this wasn't some nightmare she'll wake from, but that this is the harsh reality of the world she now lived in. She couldn't sleep . . . couldn't function right for the next two days.

But she's not the only one feeling loss and heartache. Her people —the 100. They too felt it, and it crushed her to see their once bright and excited smiles turn sad and grief-stricken. Addison knew that some day the day would come where she'd be left without family, but she didn't expect it to be so soon; not after the day a guardsman clamped a metal wristband on and she involuntarily came to Earth.

The grief she felt for her father disappeared when Raven came down and got communications, and when Chancellor Jaha himself stated from the Ark that an Exodus Ship would bring not only hers, but her people's families.

The sliver of hope she tried so hard not to hang onto crashed with the Exodus Ship that night—the night she was actually going to talk to her father for the first time since her arrest and mother's passing

"Hey." Addison was startled from her daze by the nudge on her leg. She shifted her gaze from the spot she'd been blankly and tiredly staring at for hours through the gap on top the wall that overlooked into the woods:

Octavia comes to her side, taking a seat and leans against the metal that's been recently constructed, legs laying flat against the floor beneath them.

Addison's lips tug into a forced, faint smile. "Hey..." she breathes out inaudibly, removing the side of her head from against the barrel of the gun it's been leaning on, and rests the other side of her head on Octavia's shoulder instead.

"Still no sleep?" the brunette nods, staring at the same tree she'd been gazing at prior.

Octavia sighs softly, her head resting on top of the girl's. "Do you ever wish you were born in a different time? Or a different universe where the world wasn't filled with..." she sighs, closing her eyes as she finishes, "Death."

"Sometimes," Octavia was quick to answer, voice staying soft.

"What time would you choice? If you could pick and had the chance to escape there?"

"Ancient Rome, probably."

Addison situates her head so that she's looking up at Octavia, cheek remaining on her shoulder. "Didn't you say Bellamy used to read you stories about the Roman Empire and the Greeks?"

Octavia nods with a smile, locking eyes with her. "And when I got old enough to read them myself, that's all I ever did in that stupid room."

"Educate me," Addison randomly said.

"Educate you?" Addison hums as a 'yes', awaiting a random fact or history lesson. "Well...the Romans had these gladiatorial fights."

"I can totally see you wielding a sword or something and being all badass." Addison closes her eyes and paints the picture. Definitely suits her, she thinks to herself. Octavia chuckles at the younger girl's babbling before the brunette hums, opening her eyes, "Your kids'll be very well educated in their Greek and Roman history. I can see it now..." she exaggerates, earning a gentle smile from Octavia. "God...if you ever have a daughter, I hope she's not a replica of you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing?" Octavia asked innocently, her sharp features slowly curling and squinting as a smile graces her lips.

"An exercise happy, trouble making hell child is what I'm envisioning."

"Who's to say that won't be your daughter?"

The brunette snorts, "Hell child? Doubtful. But trouble making? That's a good possibility," both she and Octavia chuckle.

Approaching footsteps catch their attention that ceases their laughter. "We're going—"

Addison sighs heavily, cutting off some gunner boy that hangs around Bellamy and answers to his every beck-and-call.

The boy immediately stops, shyly and nervously motioning with his head behind him, "We're leaving in five. Meet us by the dropship," he informs quickly before disappearing.

Addison stands to her feet, brushing any hint of dirt off her butt. "Are you sure it's a good—"

"I'll be okay," she cuts the girl off and slings her rifle's strap over her shoulder. "Need to face it sometime, right?" She lifts her shirt up and tucks the 9mm in the waistband of her pants, watching Octavia stand in her peripherals, "Now's as good a time as any."

"You're not invincible."

"I never said I was." Addison's quick to reply and faces Octavia, looking up into her green eyes. "You of all people know that," she continues to stare into the hues she would rather spend all day looking into before grasping the strap of the rifle with a small sigh, and takes her leave to the dropship.

"Are you sure you're okay to come?" Liam asks as soon as she arrives to the small gathering.

She confidently nods, "Yeah."

"You sure? It won't be pretty," Raven says from his side, earning a weird look from Addison.

"Uh...what's going on?" Her eyes narrow skeptically, point finger gesturing between the two in confusion. "Since when are two buddies?"

"Buddies? We're not buddies, we're just, uh..." Liam trails off awkwardly, glancing at Raven in panic.

She clears her throat, Addison's gaze shifting to her, "Friends. We have become friends."

The youngest brunette continues to glance between the two before slowly nodding, messing with the leather strap. "Okay...that's cool, I guess?"

"Addison, hey..." said girl glances over her shoulder, positioning her body to face Clarke, "You're coming?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'd like to know why it crashed. Same as you," the brunette answers honestly. Clarke nods with her usual pressed lip and deep in thought expression. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...come on. Bellamy's got everyone together," she motions with her head to the gates.

Addison follows behind the group, oblivious to Raven and Liam making faces and silent gestures to one another just in front the entire walk. The tree line soon comes to view, the air thick with the stench of fire and something else she couldn't distinguish that makes her noise wrinkle in disgust.

She's the last to enter the site of the crash, eyes widening and mouth agape in horror; chunks of metal and debris from the Exodus Ship scatter the area, small fires dancing about in the soft breeze. There was nothing left.

The rifle in her hands suddenly feels like she's holding the entire Ark, it's weight becoming unbearable to hold any longer. She absentmindedly slings the rifle's strap over her shoulder, slowly stepping further into the crash. No words could be formed as she wondered deeper, the stench of fire and anything that it burns filling her nose. Addison finally lifts her head to see Clarke on the far side, gazing down and looking for answers as to why the Ship crashed.

She trips and stumbles down into the rubble, rifle falling with a click to the rocks. Her eyes bulge, body frozen and unable to move until it finally clicks, and a high pitch scream erupts from her throat.

Soulless dark holes that belong to a charred and burnt skull stare into her frightened brown eyes, it's jaw slanted, almost like it's mocking her fear of it. A hand touches her and she freaks, scurrying back until her back hits a chunk of the Exodus Ship with a loud thud.

"Whoa, Addison, it's okay, it's okay!" The voice rushes, "It's me...it's Bellamy." His voice lowers to a softer tone, her eyes finally tearing away from the blackened skull.

Her rapid breaths come in wavered and staggered short bursts, her gaze wondering over his face. The image of the skull flashes when she blinks, no longer seeing Bellamy's lightly freckled face, but instead, the burnt skull that slowly morphs into the face of her father.

She blinks again, and the image disappears. Bellamy's face is back to normal, a worrisome expression covering his facial features.

"You okay?" He asks slowly, her rifle now resting over his unoccupied shoulder.

Addison clamps her lips shut, swallowing the dryness in her throat, and gives him a small nod. "Ye-Yeah..." she croaks, releasing an uneven breath as she rests her elbows in her knees, and her forehead on top.

Her eyes snap shut and counts down in mumbles from a hundred. The shaking in her legs slowly begins to disappear, the rapid beating of her heart no longer being heard in her ears. She makes it to 47 when Raven's voice is heard clear across the wreckage—

"Fire in the hole!"

An explosion goes off, small amounts of debris flying and hitting the large chunks of metal. Addison's head snaps up in the direction, her heart racing once again.

"We should clear the area! It's not safe," Raven's voice muffles slightly due to how far she is, and the ringing in Addison's ears wasn't helping.

Liam comes around the corner of debris Addison's leaning against, his worried brown connecting with Bellamy's. He nods to Addison with his head before giving orders to clear the area, leaving the two best friends alone.

"Hey," the boy jogs to her, kneeling in front of her. "What happened?"

Addison shifts her eyes to the skull, no longer being able to move them away like she had been able to before. Their deep sockets continue staring into her, like it can see her soul and discover her deepest and darkest secrets without any effort.

"Hey..." she jumps at Liam's gentle hand barely making contact with her shoulder. "We're leaving. Come on," he wraps an arm around her, practically lifting her like a small child to her feet.

"Did you...did you see—"

Liam nods against her head that rests on top of hers, arms wrapping her up in his tight embrace. She stares at a chunk of debris blankly; no tears form or ounce of sadness—only numbness.

"I'm sorry, Lee..." she mumbles into his shoulder, arms tightening around his torso as she listens to his steady heart beat.

"Me too, Addie. Me too..."

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Kind of a filler I guess? Anyways, hope you're all well!