Chapter 38

~~~~~~~~unedited~~~~~~~~

Addison

She couldn't think straight. The image of her father's burnt and charred head her mind had created imbedded itself so deep, she can't even bare to look at anyone without seeing him. It didn't matter if it was Liam or one of the gunner kids next to him, her father's face was there— on their body's, just not as burned or blackened as it appears every time she spared Bellamy the tiniest of glances.

"Where is he?"

Bellamy's demanding and angry voice snaps Addison out of her daze. She looks up in time to see his figure quickly disappear into the dropship, Clarke on his trail, and she follows after them with Liam and Finn behind her at a quick pace. She flips the mental switch on in the back of her brain that brings her guard back up, mirroring Bellamy's posture as she enters; her rifle tucked securely into her shoulder with a tight grip.

She comes to an abrupt stop on Bellamy's unoccupied side, her gaze falling to a beaten and tortured John Murphy. His face is bloody and cut up, body shaking and hands trembling that are tainted in his own blood, with bruised lashes that evenly cover his arms.

"Everyone but Conner and Derek out..." no one moves at Bellamy's order. "Now!" he shouts, his voice booming off the wall's of the dropship that has the others exiting.

Addison's gaze remains fixed on Murphy. The last time she saw him he was on the ground cowering behind his hand in fear of what she'd do to him after Charlotte had sealed her fate--because of him.

The memory is enough to have her aiming the barrel of her rifle at him with a hard gaze in place as he shrinks down more, and covers his face. She ignores the multiple protests and calls, too blinded by rage to stop. "You were warned about what would happened if you came back . . . and now here you are . . ." she trails lowly, no ounce of sympathy for him in his state.

As soon as her pointer finger finds the cool metal of the trigger, she squeezes it without hesitation. The gunshot goes off, but the barrel of the rifle gets pushed and aimed up at the middle level in time for the bullet to barely miss Murphy.

The rifle is ripped from her grasp, the clinking and clattering of her rifle being tossed on the floor of the dropship sounds the same time the girl's name is being shouted in surprise and disbelief. "Addison!"

She snaps her eyes to Liam's unreadable puppy eyes with her hard one's, "What the hell, Liam!"

"We are not killing him."

"The hell we are!" Addison gets in his face, "We made it clear what would happen to him if he came back," she refers to the night on the cliff when Clarke and Bellamy had banished him from camp.

"Addison, listen to me—" Liam starts, but she doesn't let him finish.

"No, you listen, Liam." She grits her teeth together and jabs a finger into his chest. Hard. "You weren't there when we banished him. You didn't see Charlotte die like we did..."

Liam remains silent, the fury in his best friend's eyes not once dimming, nor the disbelief at her actions etched across his features and eyes.

"He claims he was with the Grounders," Derek informs to fill the awkward silence Addison had created.

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp." Conner elaborates, the two quarrelling best friends still locking eyes in their own silent showdown.

Addison finally backs off and calms as much of her rage and anger as she can to focus on the matter at hands—Murphy's punishment.

"I wasn't sneaking..." he trails off weakly, but Addison doesn't buy it. "I was running from the Grounders."

Addison snorts, crossing her arms in disbelief, and avert her eyes to Bellamy, Clarke, and Finn. "Anyone see Grounders?" Bellamy asks. Silence. "Well, in that case—" he starts forward with his rifle aiming at Murphy, like Addison had done, but he's stopped by Finn.

Finn lays his hand on the gun and shoves it down and towards Addison, so Murphy's not in the line of fire, before jumping in front of Bellamy. "Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Addison's right. We were clear what would happen if he came back," Bellamy says, snapping his eyes Finn's way.

"No!" Finn shouts. "If he was with the Grounders, then he knows things that can help us."

"Think about it, Bellamy..." Liam starts, "He can help us win this war."

"Help us? We hanged him—"

Finn steps up again, gesturing to Bellamy and Conner with his hands, before they go to Addison. "And you guys hung her!"

"We didn't banish her!" Bellamy defends the girl, to which she's grateful for, and takes a daring step towards him, Addison's hard gaze on the culprit. "We banished him, and now we're gonna kill him. Get the hell out of my way," he demands.

"No. They're right," Clarke stops Bellamy and marches pass them. Addison's face drops, watching Clarke in disbelief, and scoffs.

"Like hell they are!" Bellamy shouts, but she ignores him, and bends down next to Murphy. "Clarke, think about Charlotte."

"I am thinking about her, but what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as his." She replies, bouncing her eyes to Addison before taking one of Murphy hands. She begins to inspect the tips of his fingers, "He's not lying." Clarke states after a brief silence. "His fingernails were torn off," she informs before inspecting further, continuing quietly and in shock."They tortured him."

Tortured him? Serves him right, after what he's done, Addison thinks to herself. "You and the Grounders should compare notes," Finn pokes at Bellamy.

"Shut it, Finn." Addison shoves him away from Bellamy, earning a look from Liam, who's still at her side from her previous actions.

"The Grounders know we're at war. What did you tell them about us?!" Bellamy asks Murphy sternly, all of them on edge for his answer.

"Everything."

The rage and anger Addison had tried to keep suppressed begins to get the better of her. All she can see is red; no one else but Murphy was in the dropship, and she wanted to kill him. She starts towards him, "You son of a—let me go!"

Arms wrap around her small frame, eyes remaining glued to Murphy's cowering figure against the wall. Addison screams in protest, shouting threats at Murphy as she thrashes in the tight hold. "Liam, get her out of here!" Clarke demands, and that's exactly what he did.

He continues to ignore Addison's protests and the multiple times she elbowed, kicked and punched him in her blind rage. The delinquents that are still up at this hour looked their way, but Addison didn't care. They went ignored by both teens, as well as their comments.

"Calm her down, will you?" Liam let's Addison go and purposely pushes her to the ground, her brown revengeful eyes snapping up to him.

She growls and quickly gets to her feet, Liam's eyes wide and movements quick enough to take multiple steps back. "Addison . . . Addison, hey!" Another set of arms wrap back around the girl, a pair she instantly recognizes.

Her movements become weak thrashes, every emotion that had caused her to see red turning into a heavy weight of grief. Seeing the wreck of the Exodus Ship and the remains of its occupants and the constant image of her father's burnt skull was already pushing her, but seeing Murphy again and having Charlotte's death replaying like a bad dream was enough to push her over the edge for another round.

Addison squeezes her eyes shut, feeling the familiar stinging, and dangles her head low, feeling her chin bury into her own chest. "Hey . . . you're okay. You're okay . . . "

The burning in her throat worsens, and the dam breaks, no longer being able to hold the tears back. The warm liquid spills through the cracks of her eyelids and down her cheeks, onto the arms of the girl that holds the brunette.

Her continuous coos and gentle touch bring Addison back, lifting her head enough to see the ghost of Liam's figure at the entrance. "I-I'm sorry..."

Octavia shakes her head, the vibration of her raspy voice being felt on the brunette's back with each word. "You have nothing to apologize for," she says as gentle as her touch.

The gentleness of her touch against Addison's skin is enough to flash the events that happened in the forest. She blinks them away, "I--I'm okay, Octavia." She whispers, but doesn't make the effort to move like she had intended to do.

What little energy she had this morning drained from her body after seeing the Exodus Ship crash. Addison's uncontrollable rage kept her fuelled from the time she saw Murphy to when Octavia wrapped her arms around her. And now, her energy simply doesn't exist.

The entire weight of the world felt as if it's weighing her down, any small gesture or word spoken having felt like she just ran a marathon. It doesn't help that she hasn't slept in about three days, but it was nothing she couldn't handle before. Her traumas have caught up, and now, everything she does is affected by it.

"Come on..." Octavia whispers, running her hands down Addison's arms that would've sent the girl's heart racing.

Addison complies, not once uttering a word as she helps the brunette lay down and get under the blankets. No words were spoken, no feelings were felt as the brunette laid her head on Octavia's chest numbly, and allowed her steady heartbeat to take her to a safe place.

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For those of you who read this when a message was written about being written in a different point of view, ignore it. I changed my mind a lot quicker than I thought. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but it was an awful one on my part... Have a good morning/evening/night!