Fates: Chapter Thirty-Four

Margaret

It was only Tuesday.

With the way my life had been turned upside down in just two days, I couldn’t help but feel pessimistic the moment I realized that I was no longer in dreamland. Or more accurately, dreamless land.

I decided to pull on a green cotton dress and a cardigan simply because I did not wish to expend that much energy on clothes. Even the thought of putting on a pair of jeans felt exhausting.

I went through my morning routine in a mechanical manner; I was fidgety and anxious of whatever surprise I would encounter today.

It shouldn’t have been so shocking but when I came downstairs, I was rendered momentarily disoriented. I opened the door to the bookshop and there he was, looking like a dazzling piece of museum artwork as he read J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. His expression was too serious that one would think he was actually reading something complicated—like an encyclopedia.

I smiled in spite of myself. Harry Potter may have a lot of complex ideas and underlying meanings but it wasn’t something that cannot be read for entertainment. I glanced over at Amanda and found her laughing discreetly at him, obviously enjoying herself. She saw me standing by the door and motioned for me to come forward.

“He came in a few moments ago, greeted me with a ‘good morning’ and then looked for Harry Potter. When I asked him about it, he told me he hasn’t read it yet and hasn’t even seen the movies. You can imagine his reaction when I told him he’s the worst customer I’ve ever encountered,” Amanda explained, still laughing at Seirra.

“Don’t you think that was a bit too rude of you? He just probably wasn’t interested before,” I replied indignantly.

In truth, I was thinking that he probably never knew about Harry Potter because he lived underwater and, well, nobody published Harry Potter underwater—unless merpeople these days had developed a liking to human literature.

My friend looked at me with disbelief. “Even those who didn’t care have heard of Harry Potter. Seirra, on the other hand, knew nothing about it. Nothing at all.”

“Let’s not judge someone by his knowledge of Harry Potter, okay?”

Amanda burst out laughing. “Aren’t you even curious?”

“No. Well yes, but I’m not going to interrogate him if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

“Hmph.”

Amanda's loud laugh made him lift his head and look in our direction. His eyes brightened when he saw me, causing a shiver to run along my spine. I ignored my reaction and gave him a close-lipped smile. The next thing I knew, he was taking all seven hardbound Potter books plus five others and carrying them to the counter.

Both Amanda and I gaped at him in surprise.

“Is something wrong?” he asked us with genuine curiosity.

“You’re buying all of that?” I replied.

He glanced at the books and then at Amanda and me.

“Yeah. Can’t I?”

I gulped. “Err...You don't find them too expensive?"

He gave me a grin that made me question my sanity. Or maybe his.

"Don't worry. I have enough money to buy these." He grinned wider. "More than enough actually."

He then looked at me with that fond expression he had when I asked him if we could be friends. Almost as if he was remembering something that involved me—something I knew I had already forgotten.

"What?" I demanded before I could stop myself.

"Huh?" He shook his head. "Nothing."

"It didn't seem like nothing."

He didn't answer for a few seconds, and then I heard him whisper something like, "You won't remember anyway."

"What did you say?" I asked just to test if he was going to tell it to me.

"How much are all these?" he asked Amanda instead.

I couldn't fault him for changing the subject but somehow, I found myself wishing he would share his thoughts with me.

It was not logical but I felt it all the same. After all friends tell each other what was on their minds, didn't they? And we were supposed to friends, weren't we? Heck, he even wanted us to be more than that so why wouldn't he tell me about it?

Realizing that I must be scowling at him right now made me shake my head in irritation. How on earth did I suddenly develop the desire to get to know him?

It was abominable.

They had finished packing the books in a box by the time I managed to escape the conflicting thoughts in my mind.

"Thanks for buying all of these. It isn't everyday we get to sell this much so early in the morning," Amanda told Seirra with a wink.

Seirra grinned back and said, "No problem. I'd buy more if they aren't too much of a hassle to carry."

"Oh no, really?! You don't have to do that," Amanda replied with a blush, apparently believing what Seirra just declared.

Seirra and Amanda's conversation was normal and friendly but for some reason, I didn't like it. He was grinning too wide and she was blushing too much. It definitely wasn't a proper reaction considering it was Amanda I was being annoyed of, and my mood darkened.

I shouldn't be feeling like this.

Coughing a little to get back to reality and take their attention, I said, "I better go or I'll be late."

"Oh! Okay, Marge. Take care on your way to school," Amanda replied distractedly.

"I will. No worries."

I turned my back and began walking to the door.

But I hadn't even taken two steps before Seirra took his box and surprised me with, "I'll go with you."

"What? Why?"

"I have to go somewhere and I'll pass by Grassfield High anyway." He then leaned down and whispered for my ears only, "Besides, I have to make sure the enemies can't hurt you again."

The reminder of yesterday's encounter caused my heart to beat furiously in fear but the intensity of his whispered words combined with the fierce look in his eyes made me feel safe and protected. He was prepared to fight the monsters again to save me.

And if that wasn't enough to lift my spirits then I didn't know what could.

I still didn't think I was ever in love with him but I was starting to believe there was a reason why we could have been close friends.

"I don't think I'll be attacked again," I whispered back.

"You thought wrong," he replied gravely.

"Marge, is something amiss?" Amanda asked from behind us.

Turning halfway, I replied, "Nope. It’s fine. We’re going now. See you later!”

I barely saw her wave her hand in response as I rushed out the door to put some space between me and Seirra.

It was easy for him to close the distance though since his legs were far longer than mine and soon enough, he fell into step beside me.

“They are going to come after you, Marge. I’m sure they know who you are—and who you are to me—and they will do what’s necessary to stop me from saving Aquania. Surely you understand what that means.”

They’ll kill me. That’s what it means.

The graveness in his voice and the meaning of his words brought silence into our supposed conversation.

“I’ll never let them kill you,” Seirra whispered a few blocks later.

I shivered.

Death shouldn’t be anything a girl of my age should be worrying about but here we were thinking about monsters and our possible demise. I turned to him and found his fists clenched and his stance rigid.

He really did think to protect me with his own life.

Something within me tightened. I felt the world burdening my shoulders, pressing against me, its weight torturing me until it was no longer bearable.

And then it occurred to me.

I couldn’t let him do it.

I couldn’t allow him to die because of me.

Because it would kill me too.

“Marge?”

I stood there on the sidewalk—frozen from the unsolicited revelation.

“Marge?” he asked again, this time, shaking my shoulder with his free hand.

It was enough to get me out of my trance.

“Are you alright?”

His eyes mirrored the frantic feelings that must have been showing in my eyes.

“I—Yes. I—I need to go.” I started to walk and without breaking my pace, I turned back and said, “Please don’t follow me.”

He didn’t.

And I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or depressed about it.

*****

I tried to immerse myself in practice as much as I possibly could. Really, I did. But always, always, he was there in the recesses of my mind, trying to push his way into my consciousness—forcing me to acknowledge what had occurred in my mind this morning.

“You keep walking as slow as this and you’d be the first one in school for tomorrow’s classes,” Robert commented in a voice loud enough for ten people to hear.

“Hmph.”

He tried a different tactic. “If I pay you twenty bucks, would you share your thoughts with me?”

“Robert.”

I must have sounded impatient or angry because he just shrugged and continued walking. His response was normal and totally expected but it made me think like I was the worst person ever to walk this earth.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel a thousand different emotions in a span of three days?” I blurted out.

“I didn’t know there were a thousand.”

“Roberrrrt!”

He just grinned—which admittedly made me feel better—then asked, “Have you ever felt that way for anybody besides Seirra?”

“I never said my feelings were for him.”

He just glared at me in response.

“To answer your question, no. Just him. But then again, it’s not like I’ve met any other merman aside from him.”

He chose to ignore my sarcasm.

“Perhaps he means a lot more to you than you let yourself think.”

There was a pause in our conversation as he allowed me to ponder that particular statement. He wasn’t telling me something that had not occurred in my mind yet but hearing it voiced out somehow made it a more real. For some reason, the riot in my mind began to relax. The idea no longer seemed threatening but still scary. If I let myself accept everything about Seirra as truth, then I was in love with a merman—and our lives were in constant danger. I didn’t know whether to be scared for myself or for him.

“I presume your silence means you’re going to look for him and tell him you love him?” Robert asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“What? No!”

He laughed at my expense while I scowled at him. I might be starting to accept some feelings for Seirra but it didn’t mean I was ready to admit it to him. Robert sobered and took my hands in his.

“You don’t have to be scared to love him, you know. God know, it’ll make your life easier if you don’t.” He paused and I realized as he gazed at me that he was now completely letting me go. “He’ll take care of you. Besides, I may not have supernatural abilities but I promise to be there when you need me. That’s what friends are for, right?”

The emphasis on ‘friends’ was not lost on me and before I could stop myself, I wrapped my arms around him in a fierce hug.

“Thank you.”

I placed as much meaning to those two words as I can—saying that he was probably the best guy friend that I ever had, that I was sorry I couldn’t love him back, that I know he’d find someone to love who deserved him far more than I did, and a host of other things.

And then I heard the ringing sound of the bell from Books and Covers.

Somehow, I knew before I even saw him that Seirra would emerge from the door. And somehow, I knew even before the flash of jealousy crossed his eyes that his pain would hurt me twice as much.

Why is this happening to me?