Fates: Chapter Forty-One

Seirra

She killed herself.

It was a combination of my father's words and the way he spoke them that made me shiver with terror and disbelief.

I had always believed that a person had enough strength to go through life no matter how difficult it became. Ending one's own life was a sign of weakness and cowardice. Hearing that my own mother committed suicide was never something I wanted to hear.

"No." My disagreement was firm. "She never did such a thing!"

My exclamation did not sound so sure and my father picked up on it.

"Son, I was there the moment her eyes closed."

He choked on his words and I knew then that he could only be telling the truth.

"I was holding her for the last time...for her last five seconds. And then slowly, I had to watch her disappear into bubbles, leaving nothing else but the ring she insisted I should give her when we married."

Having a wedding ring was something humans did and imagining the truth of what happened was enough to cause me grief.

"After that day, I could never go back to the way I was before. I was never the same again. Ariana was...She was my life but she...She left too soon."

I heard the sob at the end of my father's words and I knew that there was more to my mother's death than he had revealed.

"Why?" I asked, already dreading an answer that I knew would not be good. "Why would she kill herself?"

My father's gaze focused on me with an intensity that was neither grief nor anger. It was difficult to explain but it caused a shiver to run down my spine.

And then he diverted his eyes toward Margaret's. The way he looked at her was chilling. Like he was both scared and angry.

"She suffered from terrifying--no, terrorizing--nightmares. Nightmares that caused her depression even when she was awake. In the end, nothing could get her through it. She could no longer distinguish what was real and what was not. And I wasn't strong enough to help her."

He paused, reminiscing everything. He was completely lost in his memories. I did not take his attention back and merely took his shaking hand. This was the most aggrieved I had ever seen of him. It was as if the man in front of me was not my father.

I knew he needed me but I was glad that he did not seem to notice that he was gripping my hand because I knew he would ask if I had forgiven him. I understood his grief but I still was not sure how I would answer that right now. He was, after all, the enemy who had attacked me and Margaret.

After a moment, Margaret spoke, albeit hesitantly.

"I couldn't even say that I understand what you're feeling but...what do I have to do with any of this?"

She looked confused and terrified. I had a hunch on what all these meant to her but I didn't want to be the one to tell her. Instead, I faced my father and prayed that what I thought was wrong.

"When Ariana died, I wanted the veil gone," my father began.

"I thought that without the veil, Aquanians would be free to roam the lands. Things would not have been so difficult. And maybe, that was the key to end the curse on us. Maybe we wouldn't age so fast if we were free to be with humans in the first place."

Margaret absorbed his words with both wonder and fear when something suddenly clicked in her head.

"You mean like...your Princess Marina?"

Marina was a mermaid but she grew up on land. And nothing changed in her appearance when we arrived in Aquania. The curse had no effect on her. Again I wondered the real reason for the princess's ability to retain her physical appearance. I had told Margaret about the princess without giving too much emphasis on it but the story must have gotten stuck in her head.

"Yes. I found out the truth about the Princess the moment my son first laid eyes on her. And I knew that you were his Fate even before my son fell in love with you."

I was so surprised at what my father just revealed that I stood abruptly, nearly dragging him up while still holding his hand. I released his hand as if it was poison.

"You knew everything? And you never told anyone?" I exclaimed.

"Seirra, remember that I wanted the veil destroyed--"

"So that's why you tried killing Marge?"

My voice dripped with heavy sarcasm and it was impossible to hide the anger that was boiling inside me.

"I--" My father paused to choose his words more carefully. "I never intended to kill her. But there were times," he swallowed to clear his throat, "There were times when I remember your mother and thought that things would be better for Aquanians if Margaret was dead. If the Fates never met. Better for you not to go through the same things I had."

It was a ludicrous idea and something that sounded awfully like hysterical laughter burst out of my mouth. The next thing I knew, I had walked out and was punching the wall in the living room.

I heard incessant coughing and Marge's harried voice, saying that things were going to be fine. It was typical of Marge to worry about anyone, even those she did not even like. I knew I should probably help her because she was dealing with my father but I had a feeling that I just might end up killing Kalus if I even laid one finger on him at that moment.

A few moments passed before I heard the bedroom door being closed gently. I walked to the window, refusing to look at Marge. I heard her walking towards me but she stopped more than an arm's length away.

"I had nothing to do with you and your people," she began, her voice accusatory. "I'm not even a mermaid. I'm just...someone you met. What's worse is that I don't even remember much about you...and yet I feel as if I've known you my whole life..."

She looked so sad and frustrated and I had no idea how to make it up to her. "Marge, I'm sorry. You don't deserve any of this."

"You're right. I don't. But somehow, I knew that if I could do something to make things better, I would." She shrugged. "Your father. All that he had done was for what he thought was right. And for what he thought would have saved the woman he loved."

She turned to look at me and then with her eyes clear with affection she probably didn't realize she was showing, she asked me, "If I was the one who suffered from all those terrible nightmares, wouldn't you have done what your father did?"

Her question gave me pause and for a moment, I could not answer. "I would have looked for another solution." She began to look crestfallen because it was not what she expected I would say. "But if there was nothing else, I probably would have tried to keep us together. Just as my father had done."

I had proven her point and she rewarded me with a small smile.

"I honestly think that if he really wanted me dead, he would've already found a way by now." She moved closer to me and took my hand. "But I'm still here, Seirra. And before I went out of the room, he told me that if our worlds had not been so different, he would've been happy that you fell in love with me."

My head snapped towards her in surprise. After everything that my father just told us, it was almost impossible for me to believe that he would say anything like that to Marge.

Her smile widened. "I know. I stared at him for several seconds until he repeated it. Then he apologized again and told me that the two of us will probably be stronger than your mother and him."

"I sure hope so." My hand tightened around hers as I faced her completely. "Once you turn into a mermaid, there's no going back. Are you really sure you want to go with me?"

She looked up at me and I showed her how much her answer meant. I was vulnerable and I let her see it, knowing that she would appreciate the honesty in my actions.

"Yes and I won't regret it. If I get the nightmares, then I'll just remember the good times."

It was all suddenly too much and I pulled her closer so she wouldn't see the tears that had formed in my eyes. She willingly came and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'll help you. I'll make sure that we have happy memories that you can hold onto. I won't ever allow fear to push you to end your life."

"I know. Thank you." She tightened her embrace and then pulled back. "You have to get back inside. Your father needs you and you've got to tell him he's forgiven."

Forgiveness came easily to Marge but not quite for me. I loved my father and I was no longer angry but it was still difficult to come to terms with what he did to me and Marge. I did not tell her that, however. Instead, I stayed where I was.

"I prefer not to see him yet."

But Margaret did not listen and took the decision from me as she dragged me back to the bedroom.

I heard her gasp as the bubbles slowly disappeared in front of us.

"No..." Margaret whispered in disbelief.

A clinking sound echoed in the room as a necklace joining a pair of gold rings dropped on the bed.