Chapter 42

CHELSEA

I’m lying in bed, staring at a blank TV screen. A nurse walks in and helps me sit up, fluffing the pillows behind me.

“You’re going to be a mommy, I hear,” she says.

“Yeah,” I reply.

She pauses, studying me. “You seem surprised. Was this unexpected?”

“It was. The past few weeks have been full of surprises.”

“Do you want me to turn on the TV for you?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No, thanks.”

“If you need anything, just press the call button.”

As she turns to leave, I call out, “Wait! Can you tell me where Brian Wynn is?”

“Brian Wynn?” She thinks for a moment. “Oh, he’s in the next room.” She leaves.

I’m not sure what hits me harder: the fact that Brian is so close, or the realization that I cheated on him.

Tears start to flow, and I can’t stop them. ~Will he ever forgive me?~

I want to see him, touch him, tell him everything about the house, about Clayton. But the more I think about it, the more I fear he won’t take me back.

Why should he? I’ve done things with another man that Brian would never imagine. Once he finds out what I did and who I did it with, I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me. Hell, I can’t even forgive myself.

I sit there, crying, staring at the blank TV screen. Eventually, I close my eyes and cry myself to sleep.

***

~I wake up in my own bed, sunlight streaming through the windows. A cool breeze stirs the curtains. I sit up and stretch.~

~“God, this feels amazing. I feel amazing,” I say to the empty room.~

~I get out of bed, naked, and walk over to the full-length mirror by the closet. I study my reflection, turning from side to side.~

~I place my hands on my stomach, wondering if I can feel the baby move. I look in the mirror again, standing sideways. There’s a small bump, and I rub it gently.~

~I grab my robe from the bathroom and put it on, leaving it untied as I head to the kitchen.~

~Every morning, there’s a fresh pot of coffee waiting for me. I breathe in the aroma, turning the corner to see Clayton and Detrick leaning on the breakfast bar, chatting.~

~“Good morning,” they say in unison.~

~“Good morning. It’s such a beautiful day. I think I’ll spend it by the pond, writing,” I say, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I start to walk away.~

~“You know, you could have this every day,” Clayton says.~

~I stop in my tracks, setting down my coffee mug. I tie my robe and turn to face him. “What do you mean?”~

~Clayton steps away from Detrick and walks toward me. “This,” he says, gesturing around. “You could have all of this, all the time.~

~“You could have all the sunny days you want, or snow days if you prefer. What about making love in the rain? That was my favorite,” he says, getting closer.~

~I touch my throat, remembering that rainy day, the day he was so rough with me.~

~“Maybe I don’t want your fantasy.”~

~“This isn’t my fantasy, it’s yours,” he says, pointing at my chest.~

~“I know all about your fantasies. I’ve read your work. I’ve been in your head. There are even things we haven’t explored yet. There’s no better place to raise our child than here.”~

~I touch my stomach again, looking down at it. “You’re not going to have anything to do with this child or my fantasies.”~

~Suddenly, the sun disappears, replaced by dark clouds. Thunder rumbles, and rain begins to fall. He steps closer, looking down at me.~

~“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I have you wrapped around my finger,” he says, holding up his pinky.~

~He unties my robe, letting it fall to the floor. I feel powerless; nothing I do seems to work.~

~He turns me around and bends me over. I close my eyes as I feel his cock pushing into me.~

~I try to squeeze my legs together, to keep him out.~

~But he’s too strong, forcing his way deep inside me.~

~I scream.~

***

I wake up screaming. I look around, realizing I’m still in the hospital. I start crying again. The nurse walks in, seeing me clutching my stomach.

“Is your stomach hurting again?” she asks.

“No. It…it was just a nightmare.”

“Do you want something to help you sleep?”

I shake my head. “No, thank you.”

“All right, if you need anything, just press the button.”

I nod as she leaves. I sit up, swing my legs over the side of the bed, and stand up, taking my IV stand with me. I pause at the door, checking to see if any of the nurses are watching. The coast is clear.

I walk slowly to the right, peeking into the room next to mine. It’s Brian. A tear slips down my cheek as I walk in.

He’s asleep, but I don’t know if he’s still in a coma. I get close enough to hold his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping he’ll open his eyes.

He does. He sees me standing there, and he starts to cry.

“I’m really sorry, Chels. I didn’t mean—”

I cut him off. “You don’t have to apologize. If anyone should be saying sorry, it’s me,” I tell him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

He gives me a puzzled look.

“I promise I’ll explain everything. But for now, I just want to be here with you.”

Carefully, I climb into bed with him, mindful not to cause him any more pain. He gingerly places his cast-encased hand on my shoulder. I drape my other arm over his stomach, resting my head on his chest.

The nurse enters the room. “Miss Payton, you can’t be in here,” she states.

I lift my head from his chest to look at her. “He’s my fiancé.”

“Could you let her stay, please?” Brian pleads.

The nurse nods, then exits the room. She returns shortly with a blanket, draping it over both of us.

“Thank you,” I whisper. She gives my shoulder a gentle pat before leaving us alone.