Chapter 5: Chapter Four

GUN'S POV

After the night I decided to get wasted, I got busy with life and school. Things got a lot worse at home, I don't even wanna go home lately. I'm less than a year away from graduating, just a few more Gun, you're finally gonna be free.

I made my decisions, I wanted to move to New York, I've submitted a few of my works to a film studio in New York, I'm planning to leave. I'm also planning to open up a cafe with the savings money I have, a cafe that will have a movie space.

"Gun, are you okay?" Off asked.

We assigned a filming day for our short film.

"Yeah, just thinking about things" I said

"I can always listen if you want someone to talk to you know" He told me which me smile

"Have you ever felt like you constantly disappoint the people around you? Like, everything you do just doesn't seem to please them and being happy feels so wrong" I told him

"Woah, that's deep but if you're doing things to make you happy isn't it worth the pain of disappointing them?" He told me

"Yeah but, sometimes the hurt is just too much, I wanna give up my happiness for theirs" I said.

"You're like a bad guy to them but lemme quote the great Damon Salvatore 'When people see good they expect good and I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations' " Off said

I was shocked that he watches The Vampire Diaries

"You watch TVD?" I asked and chuckled a little

"Don't laugh at me, I'm a film student, I watch a lot of things" He told me

"Thanks tho, that brightened up my mood" I told him and gave him a small smile.

"What's your favorite food Gun?" He asked me.

"Believe it or not, I'm found of Japanese food more than Thai, even if I was born and I grew up here" I told him

"Wanna have dinner after this? My treat" Off said.

"Okay" I said.

I didn't have plans for today since Oab is busy with his own internship. He has duties today.

"So you have a boyfriend?" He asked as we entered his condo.

We decided to have dinner at his condo, he got japanese food delivered. It would be risky for him to be going out and hanging out in public, he also said it's for my safety because the fans can be too much sometimes.

"Yeah, we've been together for almost 3 years now" I said.

"Wow, that is long, and how is it?" He asked

"To be honest, I don't know... this set-up plus everything that's getting to me, it's getting harder to make the relationship work, we barely see each other, sometimes when we see each other we only fight" I said

He started preparing the food as I looked at his award cabinet

"Maybe you just both need to communicate more" He told me

"Nah, it's not communication, it's our differences" I said

"How about you Off, you have everything at a very young age, do you struggle with something?" I asked

"None at the moment" He said as he give me a small smile

After the dinner, I left his condo and went home. I decided to check through my social medias and saw that Off was actually about to launch his own clothing line. Wow, he's just really lucky in life huh?

I wish I'm that successful too... and with just that, I felt like I was sucked into the dark hole in my head, tears started flowing, It's not a night to have a breakdown, for pete's sake!

OFF'S POV

After the dinner I had with Gun, I was bombarded with messages when my manager released the information that I will be launching my clothing line. I've always wanted to do this but I just finalized it lately after having a little break from showbiz.

The next few days was blurry for me, I barely had breaks since the launching of my clothing line, everything had to go smoothly, from the local handling of orders and the international ones. I also had meetings for shows and guestings, my manager pulled me out of school for it, I was basically homeschooled again.

"Can I go back to school?" I asked

"Off, you have some shoots for the coming days, not now" My manager strictly said

"I have a project to finish" I defended myself

"No. I pulled you off from physical school, I told you, you have a contract, physical school is a hindrance, you don't need it anyway, you have a stable job now" She said

I sighed, I missed one shooting day with Gun already, I know he's gonna get mad but he didn't replied anything when I messaged him explaining my situation. I hope things go well for us when I'm finally free from my spider web of a schedule.

It was 2 weeks of being busy until I was finally able to go back to University. I tried reaching out to Gun, by now, we're supposed to be almost finished with the short film, I went to that class with Gun but this time around, he wasn't there.

"Where's Gun?" I asked Tay, his friend.

"Absent, he has to sort things out" Tay said nervously, he seemed to be lying but I shrugged it off

"Hello, I'll see you at the hospital where Gun is confined just go there" I overheard Tay said as he walked fast through the hallways...

Wait, Gun is at the hospital? Since when? I wanted to tag along but Tay won't let me so I secretly tailed him going to the hospital, it took hours of waiting before Gun's friends left, I knocked at the door and opened it to see Gun in his hospital bed and he was shocked to see me too.

"Who told you I'm here?" he immediately asked me

"What happened to you? I just got back to school and I learned that you got hospitalized" I asked

"Shit happened" He said coldly

"Gun, I'm sorry----" He cut me off

"Please don't say sorry, you clearly made a choice and that isn't the project. You have a life well planned off, stop bothering me, I'll finish the film for myself don't worry" he said

He asked me to leave which led me to no choice because he was ready to call in the nurse to get security for me. He seems to be voided of emotions, he grew a cold heart, whatever happened to him is something serious for it to cause a soft-hearted person like that.

I wandered the hospital hallways mindlessly... it's dead end, I don't have the project to maintain that class, If I fail that, I would have that as a back subject next year that might hold me back from graduating because I had so much delays already....

I saw the guy Gun ran to when we were talking at the beginning of the project, he seems to be so stressed, but instead of heading to the hallway leading to the room where Gun is, he went the other direction to the hospital administration wing...

GUN'S POV

After the dinner at Off's condo, he messaged me that his manager took him out of school again. I understood that but I didn't expect that to last too long. With all the academic pressure I have, the internship was getting a little tough too since schedules were jampacked. I barely had rest.

Things were tough at home too, Dad and I fought everyday, he said so much stuff, even said that he thought of disowning me because he thought that I was just making up that I was busy... I couldn't take a break when I get home, he'd bombard me with my duties as his son. He's practically shoving the company at my face.

Oab wouldn't give me a break either, he became too hot headed lately and we fight everyday, he wants me all to himself all the time,  the stress got to him too, instead of being the understanding boyfriend he became that one that made the relationship toxic and suffocating.

I broke down every night, the coping mechanism I had was drinking too much until I would pass out, the hang over headache became a constant thing for me, there are days that I would just cry all night and go to classes or internship without sleep. I'm tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Until it was my body who actually gave up.

I got hospitalized when Pim found me lying on the floor of my room. The doctors said I need a lot of rest, but it feels like I've made myself numb. Like I've shut off my humanity. I don't care about things anymore, at this point I just wanted to disappear.

Off showing up in the hospital got me shocked, I never told anyone except my friends, my professors and the people on my internship. I had a spark of hope for little while when I saw him, but then I remembered, he also broke his promise and left me with the project. I let the coldness speak for me as I pushed him away.

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