Chapter 6: Chapter Five

**back to present time**

GUN'S POV

Our flight got delayed for 30 minutes, I feel uneasy to be honest, what life awaits me back home? Am I ready to accidentally meet the people I'm running away from? There are slightest chance I'd come across them but the world can be playful sometimes, the more we avoid certain people the more they appear in front of us often.

I can say I've healed, but not fully. Conscience haunts me leaving Oab without a closure, but who am I kidding? I've hurt him big time, he doesn't even wanna see me as I can remember...

My thoughts drifted to Off Jumpol, he didn't also deserve the way I treated him coldly when I left, I finished the project with him but he was asking for friendship in the end, I also ran away from him.

I was terrible when I left Thailand, I don't know how I'll face them all, but my greatest demon haunts me, my family, have I achieved enough for them? Am I finally enough for them? Will they still accept me?

"Hey P'Gun, you're thinking too much again" Chimon said as he took his earphones off

"Chi, why are you leaving Dae? Don't you love her?" I asked

Chimon broke up with his girlfriend just because we're leaving New York, Chimon wanted to become an actor, he and Pim has contracts with the big TV network in Thailand and sooner or later they are starting to film their projects.

"I love Dae, P'Gun, I promised her everything, but in order to do that, I have to be the best version of myself first. I broke up with her because I don't want her to hold on to me, long distance is very hard specially the time difference of New York and Bangkok" He said

I know Chimon is only saying this to me so that I will not worry, but his eyes screams pain and sadness as well. Love... it doesn't really choose the right time or the right age, when you fall, you fall really hard.

We finally got called for boarding. Me and Chimon said our final goodbyes to our friends here in New York via texts...

"Chi, you ready?" I asked as if he was my son or younger brother

"Nope, but I'm ready to go out of my comfort zone" He said and gave me a small smile

I wanna be like Chimon again, excited for what's waiting for him in his future. I wanna be that Gun who is not running away from anything. I wanna be that Gun who's not that messed up to be loved... I wanna be happy again...

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It's been three days since we arrived from New York... I'm still kind of jet lagged, I decided to go out even if it's 11pm already, I stopped by the convenience store to get myself my favorite comfort food, ice cream.

I drove myself to a building that I used to hide at when I still live here in Bangkok, it's actually a rooftop restaurant owned by my friend and I hope I'm still allowed here.

"P'Gun! You're back" Leen said, the girl who is actually in charge of securing the place

"It's been years, are you closed now? Can I still stay here for a while?" I asked her

"Of course, you can stay as long as you like" She told me

There were no more customers when I walked in, Leen also informed the staff that it's okay I stay there. I decided to go to my favorite corner that has glass railings and all. I sat peacefully looking at the view of Bangkok's city lights.

I haven't really talked to anyone yet except for Tay, New and Arm. They immediately went to visit me when I arrived at grandma's place. I haven't seen other friends I have, I haven't even seen my own parents. They are too busy with the business Pim said, also the company building had the top most floor a penthouse unit for my parents. Our house is basically a haunted house now since nobody lives there.

Pim told me that Dad isn't mad at me anymore but I refuse to believe that, he never messaged or reached out to me. I didn't either, I couldn't do it. I also haven't heard of seen Oab, I don't know if he became a doctor... Did he moved abroad just like what we planned originally?

The what ifs starting to flood my head and I didn't realize I was already crying, here I go again... All I can do is cry about it all anyway, It's hard for me to open up to someone because I've built this picture of a strong and independent Gun in front of all of them.

After almost a week of being back, it's time to work again. I have a meeting with Tay, New and the other partner we have in our film studio that we're making. Arm won't be joining us with building the film studio because he has his own clothing line business and he's currently too busy with that.

"Hey, how are you doing? Have you finally adjusted back to Thailand time?" New teased

"Sort of... I pretty much don't have a choice, we're gonna get busy" I said

"Director Gun, meet Director Off" Tay said with a big smile on his face

I turned around only to see Off Jumpol behind me, h-his our business partner? What a small world huh, I guess he finished studying film?

"Gun? Wow, New York made you look expensive huh?" He teased me.

Even though I was tough and cold back then, he seems to be happy to see me again.

"Off Jumpol, I guess you finished studying film huh?" I asked

"Ofcourse, I passed the major project even if I have a hot headed and cold partner" He said hiding his laugh

"Sorry" I said.

"Oh come on, that was the past, plus you've got the right reason to be mad at me back then. I broke my promise and you're already juggling too much stuff" He said.

I felt at home with them, I never knew I'd be this close with Off too. We talked about the studio for hours, including our plans and our first projects that we're about to do. We also did a little catching up...

"Hey Gun, wanna grab some dinner?" Off asked me.

"Yeah sure, you're not busy?" I asked.

"Nah~ I took an acting break, I also don't have shows to direct lately, so yeah, I'm basically free" He said

"Plus maybe we could catch up. Tell me more about New York" He said

I agreed to him because I literally don't have any plans for tonight. Also, after days of being back, maybe I should be free from the anxious thoughts and what ifs for a night. Off made me feel happy today, like the heavy feeling in my chest has been lifted.

He brought me to my favorite japanese restaurant. I was shocked he still remembers. I missed this place, good thing it's still here. I ordered my usual and surprisingly he ordered the same because he said he wants to know what I like.

"I stopped acting for a while because I felt exhausted plus they are giving me roles that are too corny, I'd rather be an alien" Off said

"You are an alien" I jokingly said

"Would you like to go to the moon with me then?" He asked

"That's a dare, take me to the moon" I said

"I couldn't do that yet hahaha, you became a better and fun Gun since you left, I like this Gun more than the sulky and always annoyed one" He said which got me silent

Why would he say words like that? I felt like I was blusing...

"Maybe, I could take you somewhere... where the moon is at its best view?" I asked

He looked at me and nodded. We left the restaurant and he drove to the building I've been spending so much time at lately. I pulled him to the elevator and I pressed the top most floor.

"Aren't they closed? You need reservations for this place Gun" He said when we reached the restaurant

"Not if you know the owner" I said

I pulled him to my favorite spot where the moon shines brightly every night. We were comfortably silent for a few minutes just admiring the view of the full moon. Right at that moment, I felt at peace.

"Welcome back Gun" Off whispered

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Thanks for reading! <3