CONFESSIONS || Final Chapter

| The double slide mentioned later is the picture at the top! x Just for reference haha |

Five minutes have gone by without either of us saying a word. In retrospect, I think he's trying to give me the control over how this conversation goes. Therefore, he's probably waiting for me to start. But all I can do is sip on my iced drink and look out the window.

In all honesty, I'm scared to even glance at Oliver. The instant we locked eyes mere minutes ago when I first turned around, I felt the frost covering my heart melt. As soon as that started happening, I averted my gaze and sat down.

When I find myself wanting to look, I remind myself of what happened a week ago.

He's not worth it. Why are you here? You're weak!

Closing my eyes, I will my saboteur to go away. I know why I'm here. I'm here to get closure, to listen to his side of the story before I make the journey to move on. In the deepest part of my soul, I know he's not a bad guy. I just have to listen to that without letting him walk all over me.

"Macy?" Oliver's deep, smooth voice graces my ears. Without much thought, my eyes spring open and stare right into his endless pools of hazel.

Oh God, why did I have to look?

His dark, long eyelashes frame his glossy eyes and it's then that I notice. That I see the unyielding emotions he's trying to hide. The hurt and heartbreak. Both are emotions I know well. Again, without thinking, my hand makes its way across the small table. Heat permeates my fingers when they touch his gently. I almost gasp at the feeling.

No longer caring about anything else - at least, not when he's looking at me like that, I slip my hand on top of his rougher ones and squeeze.

"What's wrong?" I whisper softly, reaching across my other hand to join the party. Now with both of my hands gripping his, I gaze into his eyes with an intensity I didn't know I had. When his head starts to shake back and forth, I quickly reassure him, "We can talk about everything else later."

Oliver places his free hand atop both of mine and rubs his thumb across them. The small, simple movement causes my heart to flutter with a million different emotions.

"I'd rather talk about what happened last weekend and lead into everything else. Is that okay?" His voice is cautious and rattles with nerves. I want to ask why he's nervous but realise that's probably not a good idea. All I do to respond is nod my head, not having anything to say at the moment. I want to hear what he has to say first.

"Alright. Well, Theo came up to visit me - and Ellie too."

"Ellie told me." I nod slowly, wanting to pull my hands away but needing to stay connected to him. The warmth from his touch comforts me in a way I haven't felt since my birthday party.

"We decided to go out for drinks to catch up and take my mind off of everything that I had going on. The short explanation is that I was a mess and while Theo was ordering us another round, Bianca came up to me." Oliver pauses to draw in a breath, glancing at me. "I don't remember everything that was said but I remember her putting her hand on my arm. She was talking about how much she missed me, that her and Jason broke up because she still loved me. I remember thinking that it felt easy, even comforting, to have her there again when I was feeling so broken." Without real reason, his words hurt and I can't help but pull my hand back into my lap, away from his. He visibly winces but nods dejectedly.

"Sorry, I just can't right now," I resign quietly.

"It's okay, Macy. You don't owe me anything." When I don't respond with anything but a nod, he continues with the story, "For years, she was the one I fell back on when I had a bad day or something knocked me down. Add all that history and habit to my alcohol-induced state, it felt automatic for me to let her touch me and lean on me." He stops again, looking up at me and this time, keeping eye contact warily.

A soft sigh leaves my lips as I shake my head in empathy. "I understand that, I would probably react the same way to Jay if I was vulnerable, drunk and upset. It's hard coming out of a long-term relationship and staying away. Apparently like fifty percent of separated couples get back together."

Oliver's shoulders, that I never realised were tense to begin with, relax slightly at my words. "Thank you, that's more than what I can ask for. I honestly don't remember much - it's all a bit vague - and I only started remembering more once Theo showed me the photo that Ellie sent him. Since it's a candid photo, someone else must have taken it so I'm guessing Jason was there and they planned all this to drive a wedge between us." He grimaces, lifting a hand to rub over his mouth before speaking again, "Anyway, I think she dragged me onto the dance floor and started rubbing up against me. From what I can remember, I sort of just stood there." His lips turn up into a half smile as he holds eye contact. "She's never been much of a dancer and I just wanted to get back to Theo so I could drink more."

I let out a small giggle, despite hearing about things I don't really want to picture. However, imagining Ollie just standing in a club with Bianca trying to dance with him is pretty funny. Even if I'm not looking forward to what I know he's going to say next.

"I have no clue how long we continued on like that until she started kissing my neck and the only reason I know she did that is because Theo told me." When I raise my brow in question, he clarifies, "He was making his way over, probably to save me from Bianca's clutches. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough because next thing I know, her lips are on mine. She started kissing me as if she was literally trying to eat me and not in a sexy way, but in a I-don't-know-how-to-control-the-amount-of-saliva-and-tongue-I'm-shoving-into-your-mouth kind of way. Before I could set my mind straight and get away, Theo's pulling at me and walking me back to the bar. The last thing I remember seeing of her is the wide smirk she was sporting. From what Theo's told me, I spent the rest of the night wallowing in guilt and regret over letting it happen. Apparently I couldn't stop talking about you, how 'it doesn't feel right, Macy feels right', and then we crashed at my place."

When Oliver's done, I open my mouth to speak but no words want to come out. I realise I'm just sitting here gaping at him, so I quickly clear my throat and make a second attempt to talk, "Uh- When... when did you text me?"

He just shrugs sadly, "Probably after the kiss when I was moping and missing you."

"Did you mean it?" I ask, not being able to help myself.

I watch as his brows furrow in confusion and his head tilts to the side. "Which part?"

"About it not feeling right to kiss her. About..." I trail off, blushing profusely and looking away from his reverent gaze.

"Yes." His quick, confident answer makes my eyes snap back to his, only to find longing in the swirling hues of green, gold, and chestnut. "I mean it when I said it feels right with you, only you. Being with you, talking to you, holding you, kissing you." He runs a hand through his hair with a puff of breath releasing from his mouth. "Everything just feels so damn right with you."

My chest tightens. Before this conversation can go any further, I reach my hand back across the table towards his. I run the tips of my fingers over each knuckle tentatively. Closing his eyes, Ollie maneuvers his hand until it's gripping mine lightly in a warm, reassuring hold.

"I'm not going to lie," I start, waiting for him to open his eyes before I carry on, "Seeing that photo hurt. Deeply. But we're not together and you have every right to do as you please. You can't exactly cheat on me when we're not even in a relationship." I send Ollie a sad smile. "Which I know is my fault." He opens his mouth to protest but I hold up my free hand to stop him. "I regretted turning you down when you laid your heart out like that for me. I'm so sorry for running away scared."

"It's okay," Ollie murmurs in small voice, squeezing my hand.

"But then you cut me out, you avoided me and I didn't know what to anymore when all I wanted was to talk to you, see you. Not the Ollie that was emotionless and detached, but the one I've come to adore. So when Bianca sent me that photo, it was finally the shoe being dropped. I experienced an emotional pain that was one hundred percent worse than the one Jay caused me all those months ago. I couldn't deal with losing you completely like that so I avoided anything or anyone that would remind me. I turned my phone off for the whole week, stayed with my mum's until Monday, changed my referral code at work, and shut myself from the world until I couldn't ignore it any longer."

Ollie gives my hand another reassuring squeeze, running his thumb over my fingers softly. His intense hazel gaze has never wavered from mine, only switching from emotion to emotion. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve any of it."

I link my fingers through his, pressing my palm against his with another sigh. "And I understand what happened with Bianca now that you've explained it, I believe you without a doubt. But that doesn't stop it from hurting when I see the guy I'm in love with kissing the girl who, one, Jay cheated on me with, and two, has so much history with you that I could never compete with."

Ollie's eyes widen as his hand almost crushes mine. "What?" Confused by his shock, I recollect what I just said before my eyes widen too. The guy I'm in love with... A deep flush begins covering my tanned skin, working it's way through my body as I finally break eye contact, choosing to focus on the now busy café. I almost forgot we were still in one. Thankfully there's been enough noise in here for our conversation to be out of hearing range. Well, unless someone is standing really close but the closest person to us is a bearded middle-aged man at the counter four metres away.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when Ollie stands up suddenly, not letting go of my hand as he nods his head towards the door. "Is there somewhere else we can go while we discuss the rest? I still have things I want to talk to you about. Like the reason for why I've been such a mess and I don't really want to talk about it in here."

Thankful that he's choosing to ignore my admission for now, I gladly stand up and follow his lead out the door. "There's a park just down the road, we can go there."

"Okay, lead the way."

As we walk, we keep our hands together, forearms tangled together. Neither of us speak, venturing down the side walk in comfortable silence. Once past the last business building on the street, burgundy trees start framing the path. I veer us into the nearest field as the playground's bright, colorful structures come into view.

After another five minutes of walking, we reach the wood chip covered area, no children or families to be seen. Tugging on Ollie's hand, I lead him over to the forest green double slide and let go to plop myself down onto one side as he sits on the other. I lift my head to assess the way his eyes are exploring the playground in from of him.

"Ollie?"

He turns to meet my gaze, inhaling deeply. "Yeah." He exhales in a rush, "Yeah, okay. Well, you remember the last time we messaged properly? When I, uh, confessed to you how I felt?"

Felt. Trying to ignore the way his wording makes me feel, I choose to think back to the mentioned night, "Yeah, you were in the hospital with your mum."

Ollie's eyes close briefly and when he reopens them, I can see the pain in them before they seem to lose focus. "The day she got out I had to go home for Uni. She assured me she would be fine and I guess I wanted to believe her so desperately that I convinced myself that she would be." He shakes his head as he refocus his eyes on mine. "She went out that night to the bar alone and got drunk. She mustn't have had enough money for a cab or something because she decided to walk home." Ollie shoves his palms into his eyes, rubbing at them. "On the way, she got mugged."

I gasp, reaching my hand out to rest against his arm, "Oh my gosh, is she okay?" Ollie's shaking his head again as he removes his hands from his eyes to look at me. My breath catches in my chest when I see the sheen of glistening tears. Something churns inside my stomach. "Oh no," I whisper.

"They-" He clears his throat when his voice comes out hoarse and I'm still holding my breath, "The muggers stabbed her twice in the lower abdomen and took her expensive purse, she bled out in the alleyway. No one found her until the morning when it was too late." Devastation turns his mouth down and wets his eyelashes as he blinks. "Macy, she's gone."

I swallow thickly and think that my eyes must have taken initiative when I feel wetness on my cheeks, matching Ollie's. The hand I don't have touching him is placed firmly over my mouth in shock. I swiftly remove it and throw my arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Ollie," I mumble into the crook of his neck. It takes a moment but Ollie's arms wrap around my waist as he buries his face into my hair. Shakes from his body vibrate through me but that's the only indication that he's crying and my heart aches helplessly. Wanting to comfort him in any way I can, I let my fingers sift through his dark hair as I whisper comforting words into his ear.

I'm not sure how long we stay there in that embrace, but it can't be any less than ten minutes before the shakes stop. After a minute or two, I pull away carefully and grab the sides of his face with both my hands. Tears streak his face, hazel eyes lost in grief as clings onto my waist, not allowing me to pull away anything further - not that I plan to any time soon.

"I'm not going to ask if you're okay or tell you it gets better," I whisper, "But I am going to tell you that it's not your fault, that I'm here for you and that you should celebrate her memory, her life, rather than her passing." Pausing enough to make sure he's hearing me, I bring his face closer to me, "You hear me?"

Ollie nods, holding me tighter. "Yeah, Mace, I hear you. Thank you."

Satisfied, I embrace him in a hug again, just letting the moment settle. But then something nags at me that doesn't make sense. "Can I ask something?" He nods against my shoulder. "When you called a few days after I turned you down, you told me she was okay and feeling better. Were you- were you lying? Did you not feel comfortable enough to tell me? Also, what happens to Izzy now?"

I feel him stiffen but he relaxes again when I begin play with his hair. He tries talking but I can't hear him in the position we're in so I move back again to look at his face. "Huh?"

"Yes I lied. After what happened, I wasn't in a good state of mind. I felt alone, angry at myself and I didn't want to burden you with it after the whole me confessing my feelings thing. Honestly, I just didn't want to accept her death or talk about it yet. The only person I told was Theo and that was after he badgered me about wanting to know what was wrong. Plus, I didn't just have myself to worry about, I had Izzy too. I had to be strong for her, still do. Which, to answer your question, she's going to live with Uncle Tate - the one she was staying with. I would take her but  my uncle would be able to take better care of her since he's older and has a stable income." He sighs, "When I called you, I just wanted to hear your voice because I was breaking and needed something to keep me together. Even though there was tension between us and I was distant, speaking to you put a bandage over the pain for me to get myself together enough to plan the funeral, be there for Izzy, and deal with the house. That's why I called you before I met with the funeral director.  I was close to imploding."

"Oh." So that's the 'she' he was meeting.

"Yeah, I managed to keep it together until last weekend when I gave in and broke down as soon as I got home. Then Theo came over and was planning on taking me out to drown my misery in alcohol and... you know how the rest of that turned out. After that night, I realised I just couldn't live without you, I needed - need - you. And it wasn't because of the kiss with Bianca because I barely remembered it the next day. Anyway, that when I started trying to get you to forgive me."

"Ollie..." My chest rises and deflates rapidly as my arms lay across his shoulders. Our faces are so close that Ollie must feel how erratic my breathing is.

He lifts his hands from my sides to cup my face, similar to my action towards him earlier. Even with the sun beaming down on us, his hands warm my skin and I lean into his touch with the closing of my eyes. "I wholeheartedly, completely, irreversibly love you, Macy." My eyes flutter open in surprise but before I can get a good look at him, his lips are pressing against mine.

Oh.

The touch of his lips are barely there, brushing against mine softly. After a second, he pulls back enough so that we're sharing the same breath but I lean back in for me. I grasp the back of his neck and bring my mouth back to his, slotting it to the side to deepen the kiss. Ollie groans immediately, sliding one of his hands into my hair as he bites my bottom lip. Something between and moan and whimper leaves me before I can hold it back but it seems to just encourage him further.

Gripping my hair lightly, his tongue grazes my lips and I comply without a second thought, meeting his tongue with mine softly. Heat and passions courses through the kiss like a live wire as we press as close as this slide will allow and devour each other's mouths.

When we finally pull away, we're both out of breath. I press my forehead against his check, bringing my fingers to my lips in amazement. I really hope I remember this kiss, considering I forgot our first.

"I think I just fell in love with you even more, Ollie," I say seriously.

Ollie chuckles, kissing my forehead. "Great, now you're a Sappy Basic Quarter-Italian Girl."

"Yeah but I'm your Sappy Basic Quarter-Italian Girl," I reply with as much cheese as possible.

I expect another teasing remark but instead he asks, "Will you be? Mine?"

Raising my head, I smile lovingly at the hopeful expression on his face.

"Yes," I kiss him chastely. "I think I've been yours since the moment you called the hotline."

Before he leans back in for a deeper kiss, Ollie mutters, "Remind me to send a 'Thank You' letter."

When his lips meet mine again, I send out my own prayer of gratitude.

Dear Heartache Hotline, thank you for curing my heartache - Macy.

♡♡♡

Author's Note

Okay, so this is about 3,500 words and when I started finishing this chapter earlier, it was only at 500. Since I wrote it all today, there are probably a lot of errors since I haven't proofread it and don't have time to now - but I did go through and do a quick edit! Hopefully the length and quality of this chapter makes up for the wait!

Basically, Uni started back up and then I got really ill for three weeks and since then, I've been trying to catch up on assignments (which I'm still doing, sigh.) But this has been long overdue!

Now for a big question: Epilogue or no epilogue? It's not necessary but I have one planned if you guys want me to write it! It would be set in like 4-5 years!

- Chloe x

QOTC: What have you been up to lately?

P.S. From the bottom of my heart, thank you SO much for over 22k reads! Especially when I don't deserve it for leaving you guys hanging! I appreciate and love you all x