Thirty-Six.......A Ray Of Hope

I don't know what was worse, the fact that I flew in hours later and Ansel was still in surgery or that I had this bad tummy ache.

After May called I searched for a flight and luckily, I found one that night. I hurriedly packed and even as I was seated on the plane, I couldn't stop shaking.

I hadn't cried once. It was until I got down from the plane that I started having this bad tummy ache.

I took a cab to the house to drop off my things. I only met Oscar and CJ at home. They were both pleased to see me and once they asked, I quickly told them what had happened and left in the same cab as quickly as I came.

I rushed into the hospital and asked the nurse for Ansel's ward but she told me he was still in surgery and had to wait.

I turned and just around the corner, I saw May and Jamie and she immediately engulfed me in a hug. We remained like that for a while before Jamie hugged me.

I sat and waited. I don't know how long I waited. I had called Meghan to let her know that I had left Manchester, she asked why I sounded so dull and I explained everything to her. She was sympathetic and did her best to make the situation brighter but I just couldn't see the bright side of anything.

It was around evening when the doctor came and May had introduced me as Ansel's wife though I didn't feel like it, I felt terrible, like the worst wife ever.

"He has suffered severe injuries. It was a very critical case and we almost lost him several times but he's now in a coma and we don't know how long he's gonna be in it. Right now all we can do is hope and pray since we have done everything we can.", he said.

Holding my stomach, I sat down. The pain was still there but it wasn't anything near the pain my heart was going through.

"Can we go and see him?", Jamie asked.

"Yes of course you can. It is said that people in coma might be able to hear those around them so yes, you can see him.", with that the doctor excused himself.

Jamie and May saw him first and after a while, I went to see him.

With shaking hands, I opened the door and froze at the sight. Bandages were all over his body. There was one around his head. His neck was in a cast. His hands were connected to drips and his face looked deathly pale. His lips were chapped and dry.

I sat down and looked at him again that was all it took and I burst into tears. I held his hand and cried on it. He was still wearing his ring.

I felt like the worst person on earth. If I had just called, if I hadn't left in the first place, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

I cried and cried wondering what he would have been thinking, was he concerned about me? He must have been worried about me and I couldn't help but think that I had done this, that it was my fault that he was in this situation.

If only, I had been here for him, with him.

/////////

It had been two months now, yes two dreadfully slow months and Ansel still hadn't woken up. At first, I didn't talk for much, I mostly replied with words.

I went back into my shell and it reminded me of when I had found out about my mum.

Caleb and Jessie visited, and Dad and Theresa also visited. Daphne visited a few times. Natalie had stayed with me for weeks, she was also saddened.

May and Jamie showed me most of their support and said they wouldn't go on their honeymoon but I persuaded them to. I told them that I would be fine and they should not let Ansel and I spoil their fun.

Not that I was pushing them away, but I really needed some time to process and I didn't want to talk to people.

Paloma had visited once also.

"Hey there", she greeted and we hugged before I sat down to look back at Ansel. I hadn't left his side since the accident.

"Hi", I said.

"So how are you doing, how's it going?", she asked.

"The doctors are still checking on him though, but every test gives the same result. Nothing.", I said.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it would be fine.", she said and after a long pause, she spoke. "We all miss you at work.", she said and I just nodded.

I quit my job when I came back. I couldn't even think of working so I called Martina and told her everything, well not everything, I just told her Ansel was in a coma and I couldn't work during this period.

She understood and said I could come back anytime I wanted and that a slot was always open. I appreciated her for her support but I knew it would be a while before I went back to designing.

"Anyways look at you, you're looking so... so... pregnanty.", she said and I cracked a smile.

My bump had increased over the months and it was now very obvious that I was expecting. Which made my situation look worse. The pregnant wife with a comatose husband and the way the nurses would look at me with so much pity sometimes irritated me.

"Pregnanty?", I asked. "Is that even a word?", I said.

"Yeah of course, so anyways have you started thinking of names? You know it would be nice to find one and save Ansel the stress of thinking of one when he wakes up.", she said and I smiled.

I smiled and for the first time, I felt true hope. I would do my best to be the best wife I can be now so that luckily everything would be back to normal when he wakes up, not if, When.

I thanked Paloma and we talked for a while and there was a knock on the door. In came my dad.

Paloma excused herself and for the first time, it was just me and my dad in the ward since Ansel's accident. He was either always with Theresa or Caleb.

I hadn't talked to him about the whole Brayden issue since I came back.

"How are you feeling?", he asked.

"I'm fine.", I said neutrally.

"And the baby?",

"It's kicking.", I replied.

Then he sat beside me.

"Riley, I have to explain what happened.", he started."I was the one who told Brayden you wanted him gone and I also told Ansel not to tell you, even if he wanted to.", he said.

At first, I was quiet taking in what he just said.

"Ansel wasn't really at fault. If... if I had just sat down and listened to him. This would have never happened. This is all my fault if I....",

"No Riles.", he started, shushing me as I had already started crying. "I should have let you know. I should have let Ansel tell you instead of having him keep it from you for so many months. And for that I'm sorry.", he said and he hugged me.

Another month had passed before it happened. The doctors were checking his systems. They said he was now recovering and his organs seemed to be healing.

It was just the doctor, the nurse and I when I heard it. A little groan. The nurse and the doctor hadn't heard it but I did.

I went closer and held his hand.

"Ansel", I whispered and I heard another groan this time the doctor heard it. Then his eyes started fluttering like he was trying to open them.

"Mr Winson. Mr Winson, I know you can hear me, and you must be tired but just try a little, to open your eyes.", the doctor said and I felt his grip on my hand tighten a little bit.

And then ever so slowly, he opened his eyes. He looked around, looking a bit disorientated.

"Ansel, Ansel. It's me, Riley. I'm here.", I said softly stroking his cheek causing him to look at me. He blinked slowly before he tried saying something but closed his mouth.

He seemed thirsty so I got a glass of water and he drank slowly. The doctor did some tests and he said everything was fine and he was alright.

After a while, he left us, alone. He wanted to sit up a little so I helped him, putting pillows to make him comfortable. I was still holding his hand and now I brought it to my lips and pecked it softly.

He cleared his throat.

"You know I asked if you were pregnant.", he said and a smile slowly spread on my face and I laughed. I laughed and a tear slid down my cheek.

He used his hand to gently wipe the tear off my face. And this just made me cry harder. I leaned into him and cried into his chest staining the hospital cloth he was wearing.

He used his free hand to hold me.

"I...I'm sorry, I..", I said hysterically and he just shushed me stroking my back up and down.

"I...I shouldn't...I shouldn't have gone, it's my fault.", I continued.

We stayed like that, me crying and him calming me till I stopped. He was playing with my hair and my hand was resting on his chest. I was comfortable and at that moment I realized how much I missed him, and I was so glad he was awake.

The next day everyone was aware and they kept on visiting, first it was Natalie and Angel. They were so excited, Natalie kept saying she was stronger than Ansel since she didn't spend up to a month when she was comatose.

Angel kept complaining that he scared her and that he should never try such again. She had given him a playful punch but he pretended it hurt him and Angel kept on apologising till he started laughing saying it was a joke. At this, she threatened to punch him for real this time, but luckily she didn't.

Next was my dad and Theresa. They were so happy and relieved and I was glad they didn't mention anything about Brayden.

Caleb and Jessie came with the twins and Jessie was in her sixth month. We were happy for each other. Caleb and Jessie decided to take me out while the twins kept Ansel busy.

I had been cooped up in the hospital I hadn't gone out in a while, they took me out for a stroll. Caleb seemed over-excited that both his wife and sister were pregnant so he decided we take some pictures.

When I came back I was so happy and Ansel seemed to be very excited. We thanked them for their visit.

Finally, May and Jamie came they decided to take their time since they knew our families would be visiting plus they wanted to spend the longest time with us.

And indeed they did, they came to visit almost every day, it was as if they had nothing to do but it was all fun.

Another month had passed and now Ansel was allowed to walk. Not that he had some permanent injury but he had to be well rested. The doctor advised that he should go on walks to get used to his legs again since he had been bedridden for so long.

Now we had just come back and I was sitting on the bed while he was sitting on the chair facing me, though he was facing my tummy.

He leaned in and placed a small peck on my tummy and I smiled.

"So how many months?", he asked.

"Five", I said silently.

"Wow, it's been so long huh?", he said then looked at my tummy.

"Hello there.", he said and I laughed.

"What are you doing?", I asked.

"Talking to our child of course.", he said and started muttering things making sure I didn't hear him.

"I hope you're not bad-mouthing me to my child", I said.

"I could never. Plus it's our child.", he said and I sighed. He looked at me. It was the same pleading look he had before I left.

Then he took my hands and rested his head in them.

"I'm sorry Riley. I know you don't want to talk about it, but I hated myself for hurting you the way I did. And I hated the fact you were somewhere on your own because of me. I wanted to explain and tell you how sorry I was, I am. I..please forgive me.", he said and looked up at me with glassy eyes.

But I looked out the window.

"I have been thinking about this for a while. And I won't lie, it hurt. The fact that you lied for a long time. I don't know how I feel but I do know that when we first married I didn't like you, but I ended up loving you. And to be honest, if you had told me about Brayden then, I would have hated you more.", I paused and looked at him.

"But I know I would still end up loving you.", I said and a tear slid down his cheek. He sat on the bed and hugged me. We stayed like that and I believed in my words.

I would still end up loving him.

Oh my! This was by far the toughest chapter I have ever written and I mean ever. And the writer's block I had didn't make things easier but yes I'm through, we're through.

But there's still another chapter.

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The Sparkling Authoress

Mis-A

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