[36.2] Let Me Go

B A D

B O Y ' S

G A M E

*Ellie's pov*

Congratulations, you have been accepted to enroll during the 2015-2016 school year.

I read the letter thrice, confirming that I have read correctly. I give a squeal as soon as I'm finished reading it for the last time. I hurry and get my phone from the coffee table and text Archer, I have to tell him the good news.

After several years of working hard in school, I have finally been accepted to the college of my dreams. The college of my dreams is a design school in New York, a place I've had my heart set on way before meeting Archer.

I could only hope that Archer would be just as excited as I am regarding the grand news.

I sit on a bar stool as I await his arrival, my legs shaking from pure excitement. I place the acceptance letter neatly back into its paper home.

It's seven minutes later when I hear a knock on the front door, I bolt to the door just seconds later. I couldn't wait to tell Archer the news, it means so much to me that I want him to be the first person I tell.

With a wide smile on my face, I open the door to see one of my favorite people.

"I have news," I say to him the moment he begins to step into my house, the large smile still plastered on my face.

I rush to the kitchen's island and pick up the envelope, taking out the contents of the envelope right after my hand reaches it.

I glance up before pulling the letter completely out, I see a small smile on Archer's face. He didn't have a reason to smile and yet he already was.

"I was accepted at the school in New York I told you about," I exclaim, the smile not daring to leave my face as I show him the acceptance letter.

My smile doesn't dare to leave my face, however, his smile dares to leave his.

"What?" he questions.

"I got accepted to the design school in New York," I say in the same excited manner.

He doesn't give me the response I expect, in fact, he doesn't give me a response at all. He stands silently with his mouth closed.

"Archer, are you not happy for me?" I ask, my smile dissipating.

"Three thousand miles," he whispers, staring down at the tiled floor.

I stare at him and think about what to say. What could I say?

"Archer, we can do the distance"

"Three thousand miles," he repeats louder.

Three thousand miles, he's right, the school is three thousand miles away. He has quickly realized that the college is nearly three thousand miles away from home, from him.

My smile is completely gone by now, his words causing pain. How could I forget about the distance? How could I forget that I would have to go without him?

"Grey, you're going to be nearly three thousand miles away from me. You're leaving me," he says, showing his vulnerable side.

I try my best to open my mouth and reply but no words seem to come out. I can't seem to utter a response. I can't say a word.

"We just started and yet we're already drifting away from each other. We're literally drifting apart, you're going to be living a whole different life in a whole different state. I'm going to be here in California and you'll be in the city that never sleeps. Grey, I don't want to lose you. I don't know if I can lose you," he explains, his eyes searching for a sense of sadness in mine.

I shake my head, I wasn't sad. I wasn't. I wasn't sad at least until now. I wasn't sad until he pointed out all the cold hard facts that I hadn't yet thought of.

"You're not going to lose me. I'm not leaving you, I'm simply going to college. It's going to be okay," I state, trying to reassure both him and me.

My attempt is weak though, he's still wearing a lost stare and fails to show a happy expression.

"If it's three words that will make you stay, I'll say them," he says rather loudly and quickly.

My eyes widen at the statement.

Archer's trying to guilt me into staying, he thinks that if he simply says the three words everything will be okay and I will stay. He doesn't understand that it's not as simple as that. He doesn't understand that I don't want that.

"Archer, stop. You're not going to say the three words. You're not going to do this to me now. Please don't be unfair and guilt me into staying here. Please don't," I reply, my voice getting shakier by the word.

My voice almost breaks at the end and I almost break out into tears.

This is supposed to be a joyous moment and we're supposed to be celebrating. We aren't supposed to be worrying or upset. We aren't supposed to be falling apart. We aren't supposed to be both a foot away and miles apart.

We just aren't.

"I don't want to hear the three words like this," I manage to say softly.

He stares at me, his eyes looking a bit emptier than usual.

I move my gaze towards the ground because I can't look him in the eye. If I do look him in the eye I will surely cry.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," he states, heading towards the front door.

He opens up the door and quickly shuts it behind him, leaving me in a messy state of mind.

I want to stop him, I want to run after him... But I can't.

Whether to risk losing him or risk losing my dream...

What if Archer is a part of my dream? What if I want both?

I suppose I'm the selfish one but I cannot help but be selfish.

I want to live my dream and I want Archer to be a part of it.

But what if he can't?

* * *

"Ellie, your phone won't shut up. It keeps going off," Arden says, glancing at my phone from the couch.

I stay silent and keep my eyes on the screen. Arden and I were now watching a romantic comedy, my guilty pleasure. She had come over after I got off the phone with her, myself in tears and clearly upset. I filled her in on everything, hoping that she could help me feel better at a time like this.

"Did I tell you that I'm planning on studying aboard in France during college?" she asks me, tucking herself under a fuzzy blanket.

I don't give a response once again. I'm too concentrated on the movie and still unable to fully speak. I'm afraid that tears will accompany any words I manage to say.

"I told Zac a few days ago and he was initially upset. He was only upset for a few minutes though because he realized that there was no use in staying upset. He said that if a long distance relationship was what we have to do, he would do it," she continues.

I take a bite out of the chocolate bar she brought for me, listening carefully to what she has to say.

"Allegedly distance makes the heart grow fonder, I guess you and I will have to find out and see. If you find someone that you can't live without you have to be willing to do anything. You have to learn how to make things work and learn how to accommodate their schedule. You and Archer are going to fine, I promise. You two love one another too much to not make it work," she explains slowly until I cut her off.

"Do you really think so? Do you think that Archer and I will make it?" I ask, uncertain about where Archer and I stand.

"He said that he was in it for the long haul and isn't going to let you go. You and Archer are going to make it through whatever storm makes its way towards you two."

She gives a small smile, her words comforting.

"What if the storm is too big?" I question, still feeling uneasy.

"There's never a storm that is too big," she quickly replies, confidence exuding from her.

I sit myself up on the couch and move the blanket that has been providing warmth to me.

"I guess that we'll have to see if he comes around to the idea of me moving to New York. As much as he means to me, I can't give up on my dream for him. I can't compromise my future for him. I need to do this and I need him to understand," I explain to her as she sits and just nods.

"I think that he'll come around, he just needs some time," she replies.

I give a nod, knowing that this is a lot on him. Archer just needs time to process it all. When the time passes he will come around and we will be able to discuss it all.

It's the sound of a series of knocks that interrupts Arden's next statement.

I make my way towards the door, opening it up quickly. I wasn't expecting anyone.

"Archer?"

Archer stands before me, breathing heavily in and out.

"Grey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not congratulating you and for being unsupportive. I'm happy for you, I really am. I'm just a bit sad that you're going to be moving thousands of miles away," he says in-between breaths.

I want to concentrate on the words he's delivering but his condition concerns me more.

"Do you want water?" I ask him, wide-eyed at his breathless condition.

He gives a raised eyebrow, one that soon after turns into a chuckle that reveals a dimple.

"Yes, I would love some water. But, I would also like a response to my weak apology," he replies.

I open the door wider for him and walk towards the kitchen, he follows after me and shuts the front door behind him. I open the fridge and pull out a water bottle that I can give to him. I toss the water bottle to him, he barely catches it. He takes a few sips from the water bottle before he stops and stares at me for a response.

"You worry me sometimes and I don't like being worried. I hope you've had time to process the news and are willing to talk to me about it. All I want to know is that you're okay with me going to college in New York because I really want to go and I can't go knowing that you're not okay," I finally reply.

I glance over to the living room and see Arden stuck on her phone, she's trying her best to act cool.

"I'll let you go," he says.

I begin to smile and I open my mouth to say something but he begins to talk once again.

"No, I want you to go. You belong in New York and you deserve to chase your dreams. I promise that I'll be here for you and support you. We're going to figure it out, I know that we will. I promise that I'm going to be okay with you going to New York. Now I need you to promise me something," he states, taking my hands into his.

"Anything," I say, knowing that it's something that he would say.

"Promise that you'll always come back to me," he states.

My smile from earlier today begins to come back, I feel at peace once again.

"I promise."

He leans in and kisses me on the forehead, staying there for a moment before he pulls back away.

"You're going to New York," he exclaims.

"I'm going to New York," I repeat back with just as much excitement.

I wrap my arms around his neck, gazing into his eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm yours. You're not going to lose me, I promise. The distance won't cause us to drift apart, it'll just make us closer than ever," I tell him.

He places his hands on my waist.

"And I'm yours."