My immediate reaction after being told that I wasn't allowed seeing the man made for me was to just rip her head off. Two things stopped me, though.
One, as much as I may dislike her in the moment, she was my mother. I spent seventeen years wondering who my parents were and now that I found them, I want nothing to do with them. I felt torn. A part of me understood. She as well as every other werewolf hates shredders, and that's exactly what they are. On the other hand, all that I know is how to act like them, so-in a sense-I'm a shredder, too. Only difference is, I'm the daughter-or rather sister, now- to the Alpha of this pack.
Two, I was more worried of the damage this woman could do to me rather than what I could do to her.
My wolf must have been a bit torn as well because she didn't seem to have an opinion. I suppose we were on the page for once.
"You can't actually stop me from seeing him," I argued speaking lowly. I stared her in the eye seeing a slight flash on pain and pity through her.
"They're monsters, Grey," she countered making me groan out loud.
"My name is Arden, and those monsters just happen to be the family I never had," I snapped. She sighed and crossed her arms. She began pacing the room in front of me as I sat on the floor. I tried tugging apart the cuffs, but they just ended up scratching at my skin.
"Okay Arden, let's make a deal," she offered. She sounded sincere, but something about the glint in her icy blue eyes told me otherwise. But me being me decided to take the risk.
"Fine." She smiled knowing she had already won. I'd do anything to go back down there and make sure Kieran were okay.
"You come with me. Get to know some of the pack, your family, explore the pack houses without any incidents, and, in return, I'll see if I can get Jale and your father to agree on allowing you to see them," Alex said making my wolf stir a bit. Hearing her start to stir, I figured she was happy about the deal, but I was wrong.
Continuous barks sounded through my head making me flinch and shut my eyes tightly.
"Are you okay?" Alex asked. I opened my eyes and nodded still in pain from my obnoxious wolf.
"If I'm going to make some friends, I'd rather do it without these," I said pulling my wrists away from each other making the cuffs rattle. An astonishing smile spread across my mother's face as she looked at me.
"I have a better idea."
Alex wasn't really the mother daughter time. You could tell how not in her element she was. At least she was nice enough to take the cuffs off.
She took me through the house, but not to mingle. She took me to a room. I didn't ask where we were going. I just looked around me at everyone staring. It annoyed me a lot.
When we finally got to our destination we were standing face to face with a light, oak door. It looked fancy and expensive. The knob looked brand new like no one had been inside for years.
"You wanted me to see a door?" I asked feeling a bit of my anger from earlier. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the doorknob.
"No. I want you to see your room," she said and pushed the door open.
My jaw dropped and I had to mentally tell myself that I was not insane. My heart was pounding and my eyes grew seven sizes. I didn't wait for Alex to tell me to go in. Instead, I walked right into the center of the room.
It was all the same.
The crib, the walls, the mirror, everything from my dream was the same. I blinked a few times. My eyes searched around the room for what felt like minutes.
What I couldn't seem to understand was how did I even remember what my room looked like, and how I remembered what the room looked like from my dream. I had never remembered a dream so vividly, but it felt like I had been in here just days ago.
"I haven't been in here in fifteen years," Alex said breaking my thoughts. I turned to look at her as she looked at a picture on the dresser in the room. "No one has." I gulped feeling sadness for her. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't help but feel bad. I knew it wasn't my fault, but she was still my mother and my absence caused her pain.
"Why?" I asked. She shifted her sights to the floor.
"I made myself go insane staying in here. I practically lived in here after they took you. This was all I had left of you," she said. I could practically feel her sadness coming off in waves. It made a panging ring out in my chest. I wanted to comfort her, but at the same time I didn't.
"Did the memories drive you insane? The pictures?" I asked. She just smiled as shook her head.
"No," she said as her blue eyes connect with my grey ones, "more like the feeling of karma."
"Karma?" She chuckled at my question which made me more confused.
"Yea, it was a long time ago. Long story," she answered pushing the whole thing to the side.
Almost everything in me wanted to make her tell me. I wanted to know just what karma she was talking about, and for some reason, I felt the need to know her whole story. But, a small part of me knew that I shouldn't push the subject.
"I'll leave you alone to look around," she said stepping away, "don't think you can leave, either. I've got eyes everywhere," she shouted as she walked down the hall.
I rolled my eyes. How is this woman even my mother?
Turning my attention away from Alex, I wandered aimlessly around the room. I looked at the shelves with pictures on them. I smiled knowing I was most likely the baby in them. I moved to the rocking chair with a stuffed animal on it and then to the crib. I gulped feeling a heavy feeling in my chest as I looked into it. I couldn't shake the feeling that this room used to be a happy room. Now, it just brought sadness.
I turned away from the crib with a frown. I didn't want to think about it. I bit my lip and looked at the dresser. On top of it had a tv. I shrugged and decided that it was best to just watch that than focus on the room.
I pressed the on button and immediately a video started playing. It was home movie.
"Greyson, why are you taking videos of me?" A young woman said. I realized she was Alex when I really looked at her. She was unbelievably beautiful. Her brown hair went below her shoulders. Her blue eyes seemed to pop in the white room.
"Because you look really good right now," Greyson said from behind the camera. Alex rolled her eyes and held her hand up to the lens.
"I look like shit. Now, go before I throw this lamp at you," she threatened. Greyson chuckled.
"Yeah, okay," he said. Just then, Alex grabbed the lamp off of the bedside table and threw it at him.
"Hey!" He shouted as the camera clattered to the floor. "That was rude."
"I told you to stop," Alex said nonchalantly as Greyson bent down to grab the camera. My eyes widened as I saw just how hot my dad was.
"Oh my god," I muttered to myself in disbelief. "How'd I turn out like this with parents like them?"
His hair was an extremely dark brown, nearly black. It stuck up in random places as if he had just woke up. His jawline was structured to basic perfection and his eyes were the most stunning shade of grey I'd ever seen.
The camera went dark as another video of the two popped up. Alex was sleeping and Greyson was trying his absolute hardest to wake her up so he could see her 'morning beauty' as he called it. I stood up and opened the cupboard below the tv. Inside, there were plenty more movies. I picked up one of the ones from the top and put it into the tv.
"Riley, how are you feeling today?" A woman's voice said from behind the shaky camera. The boy looked up at the camera with an annoyed expression. He looked around sixteen with dark brown hair and deep grey eyes. I wanted to say it was Greyson again, but obviously his name was Riley.
"I'm actually going to hurt you if you don't get that camera out of my face," Riley said.
"Wow, fine. You could try being happy for once," the woman said causing Riley to roll his eyes.
"I'll be happier if you get that camera out of here," he said and then turned back to the cereal he had been eating.
The woman turned the camera around so it was facing her. She had blonde curly hair and big brown eyes. She was stunning.
"Well, Riley isn't feeling too happy today. What else is new?" She said and then the tv went black before jumping to another video.
"How's the pregnant life?" The same woman asked to what seemed like a very pregnant Alex.
"Eli was definitely the easiest out of the three," she said placing a hand on her big stomach with an uncomfortable expression on her face. She sat up a bit straighter. The camera turned to a little boy who looked like who couldn't even be five yet. He had light brown hair and when he turned to the camera you could see his little blue eyes. A little smirk graced his face and then he turned back to the toy he was playing with on the floor.
"Atleast it's not another boy," the woman said causing Alex to groan.
"Viv, we would have been fine with whatever," Alex said to the woman.
"Yea, I guess, especially since this is the first actually planned one," the woman, Viv, said making Alex glare.
"Vivienne," Alex said in annoyance.
"Oh wow, the full name. I see how it is," Vivienne mumbled as the screen went black.
The color returned to the screen as a new movie came on.
"Greyson, you've been through this two times already. Just hold her," Alex said as a very discombobulated Greyson held a very tiny baby.
"You aren't going to crush her," Vivienne said from behind the camera.
"Greyson," Alex muttered under her breath as she situated the baby in Greyson's arms.
"Welcome to the home movies produced by your favorite and only godmother baby Grey," Vivienne said making my jaw drop. Another pang sent through my chest as Alex smiled at the camera as did Greyson. I was that little baby.
"This was one of the last videos we ever took as a family," a low voice said from the door. I jumped and faced the owner of the voice. I immediately recognized him as the smallest boy from Jale's office. Although I say small, he wasn't actually small. He was pretty big if you ask me, but he was the youngest of the three. It was Eli.
"Why?"
"Because they took you about two weeks after this," he said quietly. I gulped feeling the color drain from my face. "Mom would come in here every day. Apparently, she used to be the most caring person you'd ever meet. I barely remember any of that."
"She seems nice," I said but I wasn't sure if I was talking about the woman in the videos or the woman I met while I was in handcuffs.
"The woman you met two hours ago, I haven't seen for a really long time," Eli said, sadness edging his tone. "She went mad after they took you. Everyone did. Dad first, then Jale, then mom. We went from the most allied pack to the most feared in just weeks. Mom and dad ripped through anyone and anything trying to find you. After years of looking, mom just didn't have the heart to keep looking," he stated. "Our Uncle Andrew told me that mom used to be a rogue. It's a wolf with no morals, no pack. It's hard to explain, but apparently she was a bit ruthless. Even when she met dad, she wanted nothing to do with him. It took a while for her to ease into pack-wolf life. He said that when they took you, she slipped right back into all of her old habits."
My heart hurt. Yeah, it hurt bad. Somehow, I felt like I could only blame myself for this. But the again, I didn't even want this life. I didn't want to be living here all happy with my parents and siblings. A year ago I would have been head over heels about finding my parents, but now I just want to be with Kieran. I was happy with Kieran, Marilyn, and Bolton.
"You never went mad?" I asked making him chuckle.
"Nope. I was kind of the hope in the family. I grew up trying to piece everything back together, but there's only so much I could do," Eli said as if it were a joke to him. "A lot of people know you're back. It's not a secret, Grey. Some people think you're going to make us all a better pack. Some people think you're going to be a weakness. They think your going to bring this pack from the strongest back to the friendliest little pack around."
"What do you think?" I asked.
"Well," he sighed, "I think you being here is going to do more harm than good." I was taken back by his answer. It was conceited of me to think he wouldn't respond that way.
"Why?" I asked bewildered by his honesty.
"Because it's not just you here. It's them. Your mate, their leader-he won't stop until you both are out of here safe," Eli said, "as long as you're here, so are they, and if they're here then we are all in danger." I just stared at him. I bit the inside of my cheek looking into his light blue eyes.
"What if I could promise you safety," I offered after a moment. He looked at me confused.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I could make sure that he stays down there. He won't hurt anyone, and if they were to get out, none of you would be harmed," I said.
"How the hell do you plan on doing that?" He asked confusion masking his face.
"We make a deal. You do something for me and, in return, I do that for you."
"And that would be?"
"Help me see him. Take me to Kieran," I breathed out. Just then, a familiar look sparked in his eyes. The look of betrayal that had been there when I had first met him.
"Ok," he agreed after a moment with a nod. The betrayed look remained making my heart ache once more and my wolf want to rip him apart for making me feel this way.
I knew why he felt betrayed. He knew just as well as I did that when it came down to it, I'd always choose them.
I'd always choose Kieran.
________
On time with an update for once.
Idk if I wrote this well. I always think this way before an update but idk about this chapter.
Anyway, I slept a lot today because Friday I went to Ohio with a friend and got back yesterday night. We went to Kalahari and it was bomb.
If this chapter makes no sense it's bc I'm delusional and I'll edit it later.
My authors notes are literally so boring now. They used to have like life changing words but now I just feel like a dud. Idk
Love you guys #happyvday
Oh and Arden/Grey in pic
Stay awesome Gotham. 2/14/16