Chapter 10: 10.

A/N: So when I first started looking for face claims, I had a hard time trying to find a girl that fits what I pictured Kelsey to look like. The closest I could find was the current Tumblr girl photo in her collage on the first page, but I couldn't find out the identity of that girl.

After much considerations, I've decided to cast Chrissy Costanza for Kelsey's role. Just imagine Chrissy with light make-up — maybe just a thin line of eyeliner, and with dirty blonde hair plus blue-green eyes.

But of course, feel free to imagine Kelsey as whomever you want. This is just what I picture for now, and it may change if I do find someone else who fits the bill better. ;-)

• • •

For the most part of my life, there was always this one person who was my constant. Despite me being the goody-two-shoes and her being the equivalent of a school belle, we were the best of friends since we met in second grade. Her name is Yvonne Rayner.

She was the one who stood up for me when the kids at school were sneering at me for being friends with her. She's the girly type who indulges herself in pink & glitter, and she's always seen with a large bow hair tie on top of her ponytail. On the other hand, there was me — who wears ninja turtles t-shirts because they were hand-me-downs from my beloved brother. Naturally, I stood out like a sore thumb beside Yvonne, who was a really likeable dancer, but for some reason, she stuck by me for ten years.

I didn't even mind the names I often was called, nor the bullying in school or at home. I knew Yvonne would always have my back, and she was the rare one who never cared about the good looking brother I have. She disliked him for the very reason that he hated me. Safe to say, when Wayne finally left home, she was as elated as I was.

But of course, all good things come to an end and no doubt did us. The moment I found her on the bed of my ex-boyfriend's bed —naked, was the day that concluded our decade long friendship. Anyone he could've cheated on me with wouldn't have hurt as much as it did than sleeping with my best friend. The two most important person betrayed my trust for them, tearing whatever self-esteem I had left down to pieces.

The worst thing that came out of this is that I realize I'm still not over it. After an entire year, I find myself wallowing in fear of opening up to people. If someone whom was so dear to me could backstab me that way, who's to say the next person I befriend wouldn't?

You're supposed to come to Boston to start anew. My subconscious says, and for once I choose to heed it.

I did made up my mind to move away in an effort to move on from the past. Why am I allowing the both of them to continuously question my own self-worth? I ought to quit letting it impede me from making friends again. Now's my chance at restarting.

Go, Kelsey. Don't let the demons get to you.

So here I am, my third day in the campus of Edge Vista University. We are having our freshman orientation week, an icebreaker and socializing attempt by the school to get the newcomers familiarize with the environment.

The first day was an absolute bore. We had the usual welcome speech by the chancellor, a bald man in his mid-fifties, followed by school tours and shit. What's worse was the fact that the student facilitators— who were all supposed to be juniors, made us group up and sit in circles on the floor like we were eight-year-olds.

No, I did not attempt to make friends. Neither did I attract any attention to myself, seeing as I was pretty much dressed down and quiet throughout the activities.

Some time around noon while everyone went for their lunch, I decided to strut to the parking lot instead. I still had yet to come around about eating alone, especially in a new school where almost everybody is sitting with someone except you. Heck, I didn't even know which cafeteria to head to, I might as well not make a fool being the loner.

So I planned to end the day, driving back to Wayne's place, hoping someone would be home because even though I've been staying there for close to a week, I wasn't given any house keys yet.

Thankfully, Lady Luck was indeed on my side when I spotted the ever so familiar Range Rover parked at the driveway.

"Kel? Why are you home this early? It's only 12." My brother said as he opened the front door. He was dressed in a plain white v-neck tshirt and sweatpants, a black duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

"There's nothing much to do anyway, I thought I'd just come back." I stepped into the house, taking off my New Balance sneakers at the shoe cabinet.

"Don't you have the freshman orientation?"

"Exactly. It's lame as hell." I glided my socks against the cool marble floor to the couch.

Wayne gave a half-smile while putting on his own Adidas sneakers. "I'm still getting used to this side of you."

"Uh hey," I swiftly steered the subject off seeing as he's ready to go. "Do you think you can give me a set of house keys? It's sort of inconvenient without it."

"Oh, yeah." He slapped his hand on his forehead. "I meant to tell you that I got someone to come install a digital lock tomorrow. You okay to wait a day? I've got training tonight till late, and the guys won't be coming either."

"Yeah, cool." I'd finally get the whole house to myself for the first time.

———

It was Tuesday when I was invited to hang out with these two girls I met outside the advisors' office. I had a lengthy discussion with the advisor about the courses I have to pick, which we were required to submit by the end of the week.

I wasn't too keen to join them in the beginning, as they already seemed like best friends while I'd just be the extra one, tagging along behind them. Moreover, they were behaving as though they'd yet to graduate from high school; squealing and fangirl-ing over boys. But my sub-conscious had to remind me, do you want to skip lunch again?

"So Kelsey, tell us, what are you into? Do you do sports?" The taller blonde, Debbie, questioned. Both of them were dressed in sportswear revealing their toned abs and thighs.

"No."

"Oh." They both shared a look, as if judging me for not being athletic like them. I could simply walk away, or make up an excuse to leave; but we were already heading to the North Cafeteria, and my stomach was growling for food anyway.

"Well, I'd ask you to join us for gymnastics, but you don't look so flexible." Lynn, the other blonde with beach waves, said.

I shrugged in response, pretending that I wasn't offended. In fact, I really didn't mind as much —it's not a secret that I probably can't perform a split or do a somersault. But the way they gave me that condescending sneer was the problem for me.

Whatever. This would be the first and last time I'm sitting with them, I thought to myself. Cass had texted last night asking why she didn't see me around campus, and I confessed I didn't want to be seen as a loner.

>>Cassandra: Silly! You should've asked me! I was busy with a new roommate, but you'll be stuck with me from now on :-P

Unfortunately, Cass' schedule on Tuesdays were hectic. Her three-hour long lecture would only end at two o'clock, hence, I made the decision to just tolerate for a day.

We were walking through the cafeteria door, me blindly following behind the two girls while scrolling through my phone. At that moment, I vaguely heard someone yelling my name. I made a three-sixty turn to scan my surroundings, but all the chattering coming from this huge cafeteria made it impossible for me to find the source of that voice. I chose to ignore it, picking up my steps behind the blondes. Then my name was yelled again.

"Kelsey!" I scoped around once more, finally spotting Drew on his feet and waving a hand at my direction, signalling me to go join him. He was seated with the rest of the boys, together with my brother —at one of the few corner tables with wall benches and two chairs on the opposite side.

I smiled back in return, but pointed my index finger to my front. Before I know it, Debbie and Lynn tugged at both my forearms and led me towards Drew.

"Oh my god, you have freaking hot friends!" Debbie squealed on my left, a love-struck grin stuck on her pale face.

I was then sandwiched in the middle, Lynn giggling on my right. They were literally towing me with their quick pace. I had by now regretted this, because I didn't think they deserved to sit with the guys if I already planned not to hang out with them after today. As expected, they were enthusiastically introducing themselves as my friend once we reached the table, even throwing their hands out to shake with all four of them.

Hell. I wouldn't even call them my acquaintance. We were simply strangers who attend the same university.

I rolled my eyes, dropping my backpack with Carson before heading to get my food. When I returned with my tray of carbonara fusilli and mushroom soup, the four-seater table was now squeezed with six people. Debbie was next to Wayne on the grey wall bench, while Lynn had dragged a chair to sit beside Zac, across her friend. Having no other options, I decided to shamelessly lower myself onto Drew's lap since he was already done eating.

Drew chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist, much to the displeasure of Wayne. I began gobbling down my food while they politely entertained the two girls who by now, weren't even keen to get their lunches anymore.

After a while, the table fell silent when they kinda ran out of things to talk about. I never participated in any conversation. I had my phone on my right hand, scrolling through social media while my left was holding the fork. I didn't miss the weird look both Wayne and Zac shot me at my quietness.

"Babe, when are you accepting my follower request?" Drew said from behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder as he peeked at my instagram.

Right at the moment those words came out of his mouth, I received a notification stating someone by the name of Drew requesting to follow me. He couldn't have followed me from earlier because I haven't shared any of my accounts with anyone. I didn't even have my brother's number saved on my phone.

"What do I get?" I asked, although I had already accepted it. I had the habit of keeping my accounts private because I wasn't so keen to let people of my past know about where I've moved to.

"A kiss?" Drew smirked, earning him a shove on his side from Wayne. Both blondes had a confused expression.

"In your dreams, maybe."

"Then I guess I'll see you tonight, babe." He whispered dangerously close to my ear, his warm breath fanning against my neck.

———

"Tell me again who are those two Barbies," Cass tilts her head, sneaking a quick glance to the table beside us.

"Debbie and Lynn? I told you last night that I met them yesterday." I put down my lunch tray, plopping myself down on the seat.

"Okay? So why are we sitting at a separate table while they claw their nails into the boys?"

This morning, the freshmens had options to sit-in for classes that interests them, and I chose a Fundamentals of Physical Activity class which coincidentally Cass was in. I hadn't crossed paths with the two blondes until we entered the North Cafeteria and saw them already sitting at my brother's table.

Wayne and the guys have chosen a six-seater table today, but the two extra seats are now occupied by the two blondes who simply smiled at me when I walked past them.

"You don't think I'll want to sit with them again, do you?" I snort.

"No, but you shouldn't let them sit there either!"

"That's technically not my table to claim."

"They don't know you're the sister?"

I sigh, putting down my spoon to take a sip of Iced Tea. "No. Even if they do, I'm the sister not the jealous girlfriend. They have the choice of choosing who sits with them, so who am I to tell the girls to leave?"

Cass grits her teeth. "Oh, please. They wouldn't be having the nerves to sit there if they didn't claimed to be friends of yours!"

"Relax, Cassie!" I grin, although appalled that she's even more unhappy than I am at the situation. "It's not as if I'm dying to take their spots. If we were sitting with the guys, we wouldn't be gossiping right now, would we?"

"It's not just that. I genuinely despise people who befriend others only for their own benefit." She sighs, going back to picking at her pork chops.

———

"So how've your new roommate been treating you?" We are now at a smoking area behind the main building where Cass showed me to. There's only a single cigeratte bin, while the smokers either stand around or squat on the ground. The mood between us have become heavy since lunch.

"Paige's okay. I'm not sure if she's shy or if she prefers being alone. We haven't spoken much other than her asking for directions or asking about the campus. All I know is that she's a freshman too." Cass pauses to take a long draw from her stick. "I miss how it was like —this time, last year."

I watch her intently as her eyes gloss through the large stadium a distance away from us. A few runners are doing laps on the red tracks, while the plain field in the center is left empty.

"What was it like?" I probe. Cass has always appeared lively and positive, but I should've known everyone hides their sadness behind their own mask.

"The whole reason why I've a new roommate assigned is because my previous one shifted out. Esmeralda, I call her Esme. The first day I moved into the dorms, I knew she'd be my best friend. We shopped and decorated our room together, putting up posters of our favourite band —The Rolling Stones. We even discussed and planned all our classes together. She was always the sweet, gentle one while I was the crazy, thrill-seeker. By the first month, we were practically inseparable. We spent every weekend hanging out together be it at the mall or just staying-in to chill. I took a lot of effort to convince her to join me for a house party. Eventually, I didn't even had to sweet-talk her into it anymore because she had grown accustomed and although she never admitted, I knew she wasn't just used to the scene; she enjoyed it too."

Cass stubs her cigeratte butt against the metal on the bin, before flicking it inside. She takes a long sip from her cup of soda, while I wait patiently for her to continue.

"And that's when things changed. I began seeing a guy who stayed at the male dorms. He was a senior, and the both of us met him in one of the parties. He came by our room once, bringing not just me food, but Esme too. Most of our dates consisted of the three of us. I was really contented that my best friend and him got along so well." Cass scoffs, shaking her head lightly. "I must've been blind to not have noticed."

"They slept together?" I ask warily, keeping my eyes on her side-profile as she continues gazing elsewhere.

"Even worse," she turns to face me, a sad smile etched on her red lips. "During spring break, I went back to Florida to visit my family. That week, Esme had stopped replying to my texts while the guy merely called me once or twice. I even had him go check on her for me, and he said he would. I never heard from him again. So imagine my surprise when I returned to find her side of the room completely cleared out. Not only did she leave, she left without saying a word. I was utterly confused to find out that she dropped all the classes we both shared."

A single tear falls from Cass' hooded eyes but she quickly daps it off.

"In the end, I finally managed to get it out of her. She moved in with him to a student apartment, and she claimed she didn't know how I'd react that's why she cut me off. I told her that I valued the friendship with her over the guy; heck, we weren't even official. I tried to persuade her that she didn't steal him, and that if they'd came clean to me I honestly wouldn't mind. But y'know what Esme replied?"

I shake my head.

"She said, and I quote 'I just don't feel comfortable knowing you've kissed and slept with my boyfriend.' What an ironic fucking statement is that."

I sigh, debating whether to envelope Cass in a hug. Ever since my issue with Yvonne, I haven't opened up much to anyone else. But seeing Cass break down her walls reminds me of how I had for a long time, tried to find someone to simply offer me comfort.

"Thank you for listening," her voice weak as she returns my embrace. "I never knew it'll feel so good to finally let it all out."

She has never told anyone this part of her life. And yet, she shared it with me right after knowing me for only a week.

"Thank you for trusting me." I tightened my arms around Cass, feeling a wave of astonishment and guilt wash over me.

Guilty because I still don't know if I can trust her.