37: Anyway, Enough About Me

You know, I missed Levi. Friend.

I'd left the twins with Sarah, not wanting Oliver to have to deal with them alone. They weren't his responsibility after all. Plus, he was going to go see Grayson. Something about rich people and New Years. He didn't even know. Levi and I were due for a little hang out. It'd been so long, especially with him not having to drive me anymore and his new girlfriend.

"You told her dad he was a sexy man?" I can't help but laugh.

"It just came out. I think he liked it though."

Levi and I are in a little café, the same one Oliver had brought me to. It's a small town, there's really not that many quality places one can go. Levi is sitting in front of me at a booth. We've each got a muffin and a coffee. We've been here for about an hour and the party is just getting started.

I furrow my eyebrows, still laughing, "I'm sure he did, who could resist you?"

Levi chuckles, "Not Emma," He winks.

I keep laughing but then his words click on my brain. I stop in shock and stare at him wide eyed. Emma the Nerd and Levi the Ginger getting it on like the football coach and the cheer coach. Ew, wait, bad analogy.

"You and Emma? Emma and You?" I sputter out.

He smirks at me and nods, taking a relaxed swig of his coffee. He doesn't even look phased, he just looks proud of himself. I guess boys are like that though, proud they got to stick it in. Okay, the image of Levi and Emma is somehow more gross than the coaches. It's my friends.

I shake my head to rid myself of those images. If I left them in there too long they might sear into my brain forever.

"And you waited how long to tell me?"

"It was on Christmas."

"Oh, I see. So you can tell me about how you called her dad sexy but not how you and Emma did the dirty. Okay."

I try to look mad. I shrug my shoulders, look away from him, and take a sip of my coffee. Levi doesn't really seem to care and clearly sees through my little act. I guess that's why he's my best friend.

"I was building up the tension."

"I think you did that enough on Christmas."

Levi was mid sip when I speak up last. He coughs little into his mug, trying not to spit out his hot coffee in my face. I can appreciate the sentiment, but I laugh at his red face. A ginger with a red face is always a funny sight. He clears his throat a couple of times until he feels like he can speak again.

"Anyway, enough about me," He changes the subject.

I raise my eyebrows at him, urging him to continue.

"Your Christmas was interesting too."

I set my coffee down and pick at my muffin. I keep my eyes off Levi and just admire the purple dots on my muffin from the blueberries that bled through. I know my cheeks are heating up. The coffee was on the hot side, I give an excuse to myself. I can feel Levi's stare on me, waiting for me to speak up. I know that if I don't we're just going to stay in this silence for the rest of the day.

"Why would you say that?"

Levi rolls his eyes, "I hate it when you play oblivious with me, Hazel."

I finally look up at him and pop a piece of muffin into my mouth. Levi has a slightly concerned look on his face, but he's also bubbling with curiosity.

"Fine," I roll my eyes, "Maybe a little interesting."

"Yeah, because Oliver Grey living in your house is only a little interesting," Levi let's his sarcastic tone fill his words.

I roll my eyes at him and decide to open up to Levi. I usually tell him everything. Every up and down with the twins, every struggle with the money, every little piece of meaningless school drama. But with Oliver Grey, I love barely told him a word. It's not fair of me to close myself off to him. He just told me he had sex for the first time, and I can't even bring myself to accept what's happening in my own home. It confuses even myself.

"We kissed on Christmas."

Levi's eyes widen in shock and he has to set his coffee down. I bet he's more shocked by my opening up than my actual words. His full attention is on me and he lets me continue.

"It wasn't the first time, it's happened before," I fiddle with my silver chain.

"I don't know what's going on, Levi."

Levi stares at me in silence. He examines my features. My furrowed eyebrows and scrunched up face must show the whole café how confused I am about the enigma that is Oliver Grey. He intrigues me and I want to know more. Yet, I'm also afraid of what could happen. He could easily snap me in half, and I'm not ready for that. I can't go through any more pain, and the twins can't either.

"You have feelings for him," Levi's asks more than states, but he seems to already know the answer to his own question.

I shrug my shoulders and look out into the café. I spot a couple holding hands and drinking coffee together. The girl is laughing about something the guy said and she goes to lean her head on his shoulders. I smile at the sight and imagine if Oliver and I could ever be that. We didn't exactly seem like relationship people. Oliver's reputation was to get all the girls. My reputation was to never even touch a man.

"I shouldn't."

Levi stays silent and I bring my eyes back to his. He's looking at me expectantly, excited for me to say something, anything out loud.

"He makes me feel happy and safe," I finally breathe out.

"But do you like him?" Levi presses on.

"I don't know," I shake my head, "But I do know that he makes me feel alive."

Levi nods his head and falls back into the booth.

"Dang, Emma might win."

I look at him confused. What did Emma have to do with this? She doesn't even know that Oliver lives with me. Levi didn't say anything, did he? I swore him to secrecy when he found out. No one was to know of Oliver Grey living in my house. Rich, popular Oliver Grey living with poor me, like anyone would believe it anyway.

"Did you tell Emma?"

Levi shakes his head, "No, she just happens to have eyes."

I roll my eyes at him but sigh in relief. A big breath that I didn't know I was holding escapes my lips. Probably from the small fear of losing the trust I have in Levi. If he'd told someone, It'd destroy my trust in him.

"She saw you guys on the day of the rival game, and every morning before school, and she says she saw you out with him on Halloween."

Oh, I guess we weren't really secretive. Oliver and I did hang out a lot outside of school. If Emma put it together, I wonder if other people have made some conclusions about us too.

"So what did Emma win?"

Levi gives me a scared little smile before looking down at his suddenly very interesting muffin. I look down to it too but see nothing noteworthy about a plain chocolate muffin. Someone's nervous to talk to me, that's a first. I laugh internally at my own thoughts. I keep my questioning look on Levi, waiting for him to speak up.

"We may or may not have a bet about you and Oliver," He says but then he adds, "And she didn't win yet."

Like that should ease the waters of the bomb he just dropped. My jaw drops. I can't believe it. A bet?

"What's the bet?" I ask him.

"Who's gonna confess their feelings first, you or Oliver," He waits a second before speaking up again, "My money's on you, by the way."

Out of all the reactions I could have, I just start laughing. I can't believe that at the beginning of the year I wanted to go through it with no attention put on me, and now I have my best friend placing bets on my love life.

"You're not mad?"

I shake my head, "As long as you cancel the bet."

He nods his head, "Sorry, Hazel," He runs a hand through his hair, "I know it was stupid of us."

I shake my head, "I had my own internal bet on you and Emma, it's only fair."

He laughs and nods. He changes the subject again and we keep talking about this and that. Just our normal banter and everyday stories. There was no lingering awkwardness, no weird silences, not odd glances. We were Levi and Hazel, best friends.

Stupid to think Oliver Grey and Hazel Kindler would ever confess any sort of feelings, especially about each other.