Selfless | بےلوث

(A/N: Greetings from the isolation. Unfortunately, I've added to the COVID count by testing positive. I've harsh symptoms. This chapter is an unedited/rough draft I wrote a few days ago so it might have a lot of mistakes. Moreover, I've been getting messages from some of you to post an update. So here you go. I'll edit it once I feel better. I hope everything is great on your side. Need your prayers.)

"No Zahra, you are mixing it beta", Faryal pouted.

"I'm your Ammi", she pointed towards herself.

"That's your mummy and daddy", she kept her fingers on the picture frame of Zohaib and Ayza's picture which is usually placed on Zohaib's nightstand.

"Come on, it's your turn Zahra. Where is your mummy?", Faryal asked again. Zahra looked at her and then hesitantly placed her finger on Ayza's picture.

"Good", Faryal squealed and clapped for her.

"And where is your daddy?",

Zahra placed her finger on Zohaib's picture this time.

"Ma'Sha'Allah, my baby is very smart. Zahra last question, where is your Ammi?", Faryal asked, she was hopefully looking at Zahra. Zahra smiled and placed her head on Faryal's lap, giving her answer through her actions.

"Mera bacha, Ammi ki jan", Faryal couldn't hold her emotions. Her heart swelled with love seeing her daughter like that. Mahum was silently looking at them.

"Why?", Mahum finally said, furrowing her eyebrows in dismay.

Faryal placed Zahra on her lap and asked "What, why?"

"You are introducing Ayza to her, as her mother? Are you insane or what. What about yourself if she does not accept you in the future", Mahum stated. Faryal was shocked at Mahum's reaction.

"If telling a child about her mother is insane, then I'm happy to be insane", Faryal replied and took a deep breath.

"Don't you think she is too young for all this?", Mahum questioned.

"If you want me to vanish Ayza's existence from Zohaib's and Zahra's life to be accepted by them then I'll prefer to be rejected by them. Mout huq hai hum subko marna hai aik din, Aese tou agr mein abhi mur jaun tou kya Zahra ko muje b bhoolna hoga (Death is an eternal reality if I die does it mean Zahra will have to forget me as well.) I didn't expect such a thing from you Mahum. ", She added sadly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I know my choice of words was wrong. I just got worried about you. If Zahra's mind couldn't take it then what will happen. I just want to see you happy", Mahum justified guiltily.

"She will understand. No matter what happens I have understood Ayza will be forever one of us", Faryal said and kissed Zahra's head.

"I'm really sorry Faryal, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm elder than you still you are far wiser than me", Mahum said and hugged Faryal.

"It's okay, you accepted your fault that's what makes you a better person", Faryal forced a smile on her face.

"I'll go, it's lunchtime, Mera konsa koe shohar hai jiske anay ka intizar karo logo ki tarh (I don't have a husband for whom I should wait like others)", Mahum stated playfully to lighten Faryal's mood.

"Bye", Faryal smiled and looked at the Mahum's retrieving figure.

Faryal moved her eyes towards Zahra and lovingly said, "Zahra, let's practice again".

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Faryal walked back into the room with Zahra in her hands after spending some time with dada jan and dadi jan. She placed Zahra on the bed, switched on the tv, and played Zahra's rhymes. Faryal sang along the rhymes while Zahra's eyes were fixed on the screen, her back pressed to the pillow and legs spread in front of her.

Both of them were engrossed with each other when she heard a click at the knob and the sound of the bathroom door opening. She moved her head and saw Zohaib coming towards the bed.

A smile appeared on her face and she asked, "Ap kub aye? (When did you come home?)".

"A few minutes ago", He replied and laid on the bed with his head in Zahra's lap. Zahra's eyes lit up after seeing her daddy, her favorite rhymes long forgotten.

"You came early", She said looking at the wall clock.

"Hmm",

"Oh we both were in Dada jan's room", She said.

"She didn't sleep today?", He questioned and kissed Zahra's hands.

"She did, I made her sleep earlier. It was her first day but still, she cooperated with her Ammi. I think she is also annoyed by you", Faryal chuckled.

"Never", Zohaib retorted.

Zahra starred at her daddy's face and then poked her finger into his eye. Zohaib winced but didn't stop her. Faryal took Zahra's hand in her hand and said softly "Zahra we don't hurt daddy, okay".

Zahra looked into Faryal's eyes and then back to her daddy. Zohaib closed his eyes and said cooly "let her do that if she wants to do it".

"You will spoil my child.", Faryal said and shook her head in dismay.

"Zahra you have to listen to your Ammi", Faryal said to Zahra. Zahra looked at her and moved her hand back. A proud smile spread across Faryal's face.

"Good girl", Faryal smiled.

Zohaib was playing with Zahra when his eyes fell on the photo frame laid upside on the bed beside him. He took the photo frame in his hand and looked at the picture, it nearly knocked the wind out of him. His face became expressionless.

"I was teaching something to Zahra", Faryal justified her actions when she noticed the photo frame in Zohaib's hand. He didn't say anything and starred at the picture without blinking.

"Let me show you", She added.

"Zahra where is your Mummy?", She asked. Zahra pointed at Ayza. Zohaib's eyes shot open and he looked at his daughter in surprise. Faryal asked about herself and then Zohaib which she answered correctly.

"You call yourself Zahra's daddy so I thought...Ayza liked being called Mummy", Faryal said in a low voice.

"If she wanted something else I teach her that as well", She quickly added. For a moment he simply gazed at Ayza's picture and then drew a deep breath.

Flashback:

Zohaib took the report from Ayza's hand and a smile crept across his face.

"We are going to be parents, I just....can't believe it", He stated excitedly and side hugged her.

"Yup! we are", She replied with a shy smile. He looked at her and chuckled.

"Larkiyon ki trah sharma rahi ho tum tou (you are getting shy like girls)", he said playfully.

"What do you mean? I'm a girl too", she said with narrowed eyes.

"Tumhe sharmana b aatha hai muje nahi patah tha (You can get shy, I didn't know that)", He teased her.

"Zohaib", She blushed and playfully slapped him on his chest. He chuckled again and took her into his embrace.

"I can't explain my feelings, I'm going to be a dad. Thank you so much Ayza" He said and kissed her forehead.

"And I'm going to be a mummy, You know how much I love kids. In few months I'll be able to hold my own child, my own flesh and blood. Just imagine Zohaib.", She said dreamily

"Mummy?...It does not go with dad. If you will be mummy then I'll be the daddy", he said.

"Done", She replied.

"You will be the best daddy my love", She said and hugged him tighter.

Flashback ends.

"No it's okay, she wanted to be called mummy", He finally said.

"Then we are already doing great", She smiled.

Zohaib got up and sat down on the bed. He placed the photo frame on the nightstand again and looked at Zahra silently.

"If you are hungry, should I bring the lunch now?", She asked looking at Zohaib.

"Not yet, I didn't offer a prayer. I'll first do that.", He replied.

Faryal nodded her head and then started playing with Zahra.

"You don't have to wait for me every day", He stated.

She looked at him in confusion and questioned, "wait for what?"

"Lunch, you can have it with the rest of the family",

"I can't eat alone, so I thought you might also need someone to eat with you", Zohaib looked at her but didn't say anything.

"Can I ask you something If you don't mind?", She questioned hopefully.

He looked at her and shrugged "You already did".

"No, I have a real question", She laughed.

"Why don't you offer fajr prayer?" She stated.

Zohaib thought for a few minutes and said "I wake up in the middle of the night to feed Zahra, due to which I am unable to get up by myself in the morning and can't set an alarm for fajar because it would disturb her sleep".

"You wake up at night for Zahra?", she was surprised to know that. He nodded his head.

"How many times?",

"2 or sometimes 3",

"I didn't know this", she mumbled lost in her thoughts.

"Ghorhay bech kar sothi ho (you are a deep sleeper)", he rolled his eyes.

"Nahi tou, aesi koe baat nahi hai (No, it's not like that),", she shook her head and giggled.

"tell me the timings so I can wake up for her", she spoke.

"No, I can manage it",

"We can divide the timings", she offered.

After a few minutes of reasoning, he took a deep breath and nodded his head. Her lips twitched up from the corners.

"And I can wake you up for fajr as well", She paused and looked at him. "If you don't mind", she added meekly.

"Sure", he replied.

"Highfive", Faryal said showing her hand to Zahra but Zahra only looked at her.

"Zahra, that's cheating. You have to give me a high-five", She pouted.

"She will give it to her daddy", He said confidently.

"Come Zahra", He continued.

Zohaib and Faryal both were showing their hands to Zahra. She looked at her daddy and then moved towards her Ammi. Faryal's eyes lit up when she saw Zahra was giving her a Highfive. She never thought that Zahra will ever choose her in front of her daddy, but before she could touch her hand Zohaib's hand came in between their hands. He high-fived with Zahra and picked her up in his lap.

"Zahra I think you are forgetting your daddy. Be ready, from tomorrow onwards I'm taking you with me again", He said looking into Zahra's eyes.

Faryal's snapped her head towards him, her smile faded. A fear arose in her heart. She knew if Zohaib changed his mind, he would take Zahra with him and no one will be able to stop him.

"I would never let him do that", She thought.

She placed her hand on Zohaib's forehead. He looked at her with wriggled eyebrows.

"What?", He asked in bewilderment.

"kuch nahi, behki behki baaten kar rahay hain ap. Muje laga kahin tabyut tou kharab nahi hai apki (Nothing, You are raving. I thought you might be feeling unwell).", She retorted and blinked her eyes rapidly with a tight-lipped smile.

She fetched a breath and snatched Zahra from his hands.

"Zahra won't leave me", She said and hugged Zahra tightly. He looked at her with mouth agape.

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"Nadia baji please pour the tea into the kettle, I might drop it", Faryal said.

"Faryal bibi you can go I'll serve the tea", Nadia baji said.

"I'll prepare something for Zahra", Faryal replied. she mashed banana and added some milk to make a puree while Nadia baji served the tea and pakoras to the family.

Faryal came out of the kitchen. The whole family was sitting together in the lounge. She strode towards Mom, gave her bowl so she can feed Zahra, and sat beside Zohaib.

"Who made the tea and pakoras?", Dadi phupho questioned. Faryal froze.

"It's delicious, Right dadi phupoh?", Mahum dived in.

"Yeah", Dadi phupho replied nonchalantly.

"Because Fary cooked it", Huzaifa shrugged and took a bite from the pakora.

"It's raining so I thought...", Faryal replied nervously. Dadi phupho starred at her and then shifted her gaze back to her plate. Faryal moved her head towards Zohaib. He was silently eating a pakora.

"Do you like it?", she questioned. He glanced at her and nodded his head.

"Nadia take Uzair's tea to his room please", Mom said.

"He is not coming downstairs?", Faryal asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"He has a fever", Usman said.

"Ap rehne den Nadia baji mein kar lun gi (You leave it Nadia baji I'll do it)", Faryal stated. She picked up a tray placed two cups and a plate of pakoras and went upstairs. She knocked on the door a few times but no one opened the door. She turned the knob and pushed open the door.

"Uzair", She called out and placed the tray on the table. The bathroom door clicked open and Uzair walked deeper into the room.

"Faryal?", he said. She moved her head towards him and smiled.

"Your tea", she stated. He looked at the cups in the tray.

"Another cup is mine", she added.

"Very well", he said.

"Let's sit down there", He pointed at the floor near the wall-sized window.

He took the tray and both of them sat down on the floor. They looked outside at the dark, cloudy sky. Only a tiny patch of blue was visible in the cloudy sky. The wind was shaking the windows, and a storm of rain was beating against the panes.

"Did you take medicine?", she asked worriedly.

"No", he replied and took a bite from the pakora. She heaved a sigh and placed her palm on his forehead to check his temperature. He froze at her touch.

"You are burning", she said and stood from her place.

"Have your tea first",

"Intiha hai laparwahi ki b Uzair (It's the extremity of carelessness)  " She huffed and went out of his room to take medicine from Zohaib's room.

A few minutes later she came back, handed a glass of water and medicine to him. He silently took the medicine from her and gulped it down.

"you cooked these pakoras?", he asked to which she nodded her head.

"It tastes divine", he smiled.­

"How did your day go?", he asked.

"Amazing, Zahra keeps me super busy",

"She is really fond of you", He stated.

"Yeah, Meri zindagi ka mehvur bun chuki hai Zahra (Zahra has become the axis of my life)" she beamed, her hazel eyes twinkled with pride.

"I knew you will be a great mother one day",

"Seriously? How did you know that?"

"Even a blind person can sense that", He shrugged.

"God it's embarrassing....hahaha your ­quite farsighted", she laughed. Both of them were looking outside the window, silently sipping the tea.

"Uzair",

"Hmm", He took a sip from the tea.

"What's troubling you?"

"Nothing",

"I know something is hurting you", she took his hand in her hand and said in a concerned-filled voice.

"You can share with me, maybe we can find a solution together", She added.

He shifted his gaze towards the window but kept quiet. He knew there is no solution, and even if there is any solution he doesn't want to solve his problem anymore.

"It's just a simple heartbreak", he chuckled, the kind of chuckle which was filled with pain. She carefully observed his features and pain crept in her heart seeing him like that.

"There must be a way to negotiate the situation", she said hopefully.

"No", he replied quickly.

"I just want her to be happy where she is", he said.

"I'm so sorry", she said. " If you ever need a friend by your side, remember I'm always there for you".

"You are an amazing person Uziar, jo b larki apki zindagi mein aye gi bohut khush qismut hogi (Any girl who will come into your life will be fortunate). I can't tell you to move on right now but please stop hurting yourself", She advised sincerely.

"Thank you", He said with a tight-lipped smile.

They were talking to each other when Zain barged into the room.

"Bhabhi, Mom is calling you", Zain said.

"Coming", Faryal said and stood up from her place.

"Uzair please take some rest, I'll come back to check up on you. if you need anything you can call me",

"Sure", He smiled.

She walked out of his room, closing the door behind her. He looked at the closed door of his room.

"Kehthay hain bhool jaun, lekin yeh kisi nay nahi bathaya kya bhool jaun? Dard, Aziyut, Hijrut, takleef ya phir wo ghalti jise Mohubut kehthay hain?"

(They say move on, but no one told me to move on from what?, Pain, sufferings, longing or a mistake which is called LOVE)."

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