Chapter 31: Chapter 31

“You must open yourself to their voices: the rocks, the trees, the water, the dirt beneath your feet. Feel it, sink in your toes, listen to the hum of the world.”

Lilitha stood barefoot, her toes curling into the soil, eyes closed as Silus circled her.

“The forest is our mother, our life source,” he continued. “It provides us with shelter, water, it sustains us. She is alive. We are she and she is us. Feel her heart beat. Feel it beat for you.” Lilitha dropped to her knees and pressed her hands into the earth. She listened—and heard. “Hear how it beats in time with yours? You are always her child, whether you walk on her surface or sink to her depths. Dead or alive. She is part of God, and to know her is to know ~It~.”

Lilitha sighed. “Stop talking, Silus. I am listening.”

He silenced but kept circling. How could she have never heard it before? It was so loud, so powerful and it reached for her. Trees whispered, water babbled, the air sang. The earth was like a drumbeat, keeping it all in time. This was Lilitha’s home. This was where she belonged—out amidst the trees.

She opened her eyes and sat back on her knees. “Is this what it’s like for all Diablons?”

“Not just us. For all creatures, if they have a mind to see.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Man?”

“They once did, but they have lost their way for so long, consumed as they are by other things that matter little. But maybe, one day, a human beast’s ear will turn, and they will hear once again. Maybe then, they will understand that to harm the earth is to harm themselves.”

Lilitha stood and brushed off her cloak. Silus sat before the stream, a small waterfall chattering on its surface. Oaks and pines and willows leaned over, reaching for each other, dropping their debris in a shower of leaves and seeds and flowers. Creeping vines covered in small, bright flowers, looped from tree to tree like a net. It was such a pretty little place.

But it was more than that. It was one of the forest’s spiritual hearts, a place where life beat the strongest, a place where they could connect easily with the world around them, from the oceans to the mountains to the icecaps. So Silus said.

She sat beside him and dipped her feet in the icy water. A school of tiny fish darted away. She looked above, then closed her eyes, curling her toes in the mud as all the life beat around her. She winced as her backside throbbed. It was getting better but it still hadn’t gone away. She opened her eyes and saw Silus watching her, eyes gleaming, horns glowing against the moonlight. He was wearing his cloak and Lilitha imagined his tail coiled beneath.

“Why so glum?” he asked.

“Do you think I’ll ever be whole?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Aren’t you?”

Lilitha swallowed, and it was like there was a rock stuck in her throat. “My tail.”

His eyes flicked to her rump. “Damon has told me what happened. I am so sorry.”

“I don’t remember it. I don’t know how old I was when he stole me. Maybe I’ve just blocked it out. I remember almost nothing.”

“Will you let me have a look?”

“Look?” she said with a start. “Why?”

“Sometimes things aren’t as bad as what we may think.”

Lilitha stared at him. “Are you saying—are you saying something could be done to fix it?”

“I don’t know.”

Lilitha bit her lip. The thought of showing him such an ugly thing wasn’t enough to stop her from pulling her feet out of the water and lying down on her belly. As Silus kneeled beside her, Lilitha turned her head to the other side, looking away. He lifted her cloak. He was careful not to express his shock, but his silence was bad enough.

“Is it truly that awful?” she said.

“You said it was cut off?”

“That’s what he told me.”

“It doesn’t look it. It looks like it’s been burned into your skin. Do you still have pain?”

“It’s always been painful—but it’s been worse lately.”

He replaced her cloak and Lilitha pulled up her pants.

“I see now why Damon is so vengeful.” His voice was barely a whisper, but it was like the whistle of a dagger through the air—sharp and dangerous. “How dare they. How dare ~he~.” He clenched his fists. His tail whipped beneath his cloak, tearing through the material. A night bird lifted from its perch with a shriek. He bared his teeth. “I should kill him. No, I should maim him, open him up, let him watch as I devour him, sinew by sinew, bone by bone, limb by limb.”

Growling, he lowered his horns and shook his head like a bull. Lilitha sat in awe. She had never thought Silus capable of such fury. He was always so gentle, so measured. He shrugged off his torn cloak and began to pace, skin beading with perspiration. Lilitha got up.

“Silus?” she said. He kept muttering to himself. “Silus?”

She touched his arm, and he turned to her in a daze.

“Give me the word, and I’ll kill him,” he said.

Lilitha paused. It wasn’t a bad idea. It would do the world a favor. “No.”

His face hardened. “This defies all reason, Lilitha. He should pay for what he’s done. You should want him to pay.”

“I know. I don’t really understand it myself. I hate him, and yet I think that if I were to allow it to happen, I would lose the last innocent part of me. The last ~human~ me.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“~No~, Silus. I will not have you hurt him.”

Silus was staring at her. Then he sagged and kissed her on the forehead. “If that’s what you want, my daughter.”

After their little session ended, Lilitha journeyed toward the cave, hunger pangs tugging at her guts. The night was black and strangely quiet, so quiet that the crunch of leaves beneath her boots and the beat of her own heart were loud in her ears. She smoothed her hands over her backside.

She looked up with a start at a peal of wild laughter. She paused, hearing another voice, deep and grumbling. At another shriek of laughter, she detoured from her route, curious.

Staying concealed within the trees, Lilitha peered through the leaves. It was Carmella and Mateus. Carmella was sitting in his lap, thighs clasped around his waist, curled into his chest. She was rocking, her long black braids undone, trailing in lengths around her, entwining in Mateus’s hair. Her tail coiled and swayed. It was a very deep shade of maroon to match the darkness of her skin, rather than the more fiery red of the others.

Mateus had his eyes closed, one massive hand gently cupping her head. Lilitha had never noticed before, but his eyelashes were thick and long and sooty-black against his cheeks. Then they fluttered open, revealing eyes that were soft and tender as they gazed into Carmella’s.

They rocked more quickly, Carmella gasping, Mateus grunting. Lilitha rubbed her foot against the back of her ankle, her heart racing. Then Mateus looked up, straight at Lilitha. He wasn’t angry at being spied upon. He wasn’t even surprised. Far from it, he grinned his pointed teeth and winked.

Lilitha stood back, heart thundering, so hot she wanted to tear off her cloak. Wiping at her forehead with a shaking hand, she stumbled away.