Chapter 55

“Oh my God, Lilitha!” Clara exclaimed, pulling her head back through their window as Lilitha stood waiting outside. Lilitha could almost see her racing down the inn stairs.

Suddenly, the door thrust open, and she was being hauled inside. The door slammed shut and Clara was hugging her tightly. “Where the heck have you been?” Clara asked, stepping back and holding her at arm’s length. “What’s with the new clothes?”

Lilitha’s heart lurched. Tears filled her eyes.

Taking her hand, Clara led her upstairs. “Come on. We’ll talk in private.”

Lilitha grabbed onto the banister as she climbed, her legs feeling like water. ~I can make you happy, Lilitha, if you give me a chance.~ Sir Mandalay. Sir Mandalay. Sir Mandalay. Two eyes. He had ~two~ eyes. ~I want you back here before sunset.~

Lilitha was trembling as Clara shut the door behind them. Clara’s forehead furrowed. “You’re shaking.” She took Lilitha’s shoulders and sat her down on the bed. “Your hand.”

“I’m sorry,” Lilitha said.

“For what?”

“For everything.” She tried to stop herself, but the tears poured out anyway.

“Lilitha!”

“Here.” Lilitha took out the sack of coins and folded Clara’s fist around it. “Enough money to support you for two months.”

Clara stared down at the bag. “What? Did you steal it?”

“It was given to me.”

“By who?”

Lilitha opened her mouth, then closed it. “I can’t tell you. You’ll only argue with me. This is the right thing to do.”

Clara narrowed her eyes. ~“Lilitha.”~

“This is what I ~want~ to do. To make amends for all that I’ve done. To you. To”—she thought of all those people who had died—“everyone. It is the ~right~ thing to do.”

“Lilitha, you’re frightening me.” She grabbed her wrist. “Talk with me.”

“You know I’ve eaten again.”

Clara blinked. “Eaten an animal you mean?”

Slowly, Lilitha shook her head. Clara let go of her wrist.

“It’s actually worse,” Lilitha said. “I’ve killed. I’m a ~murderer~.”

Clara was hardly breathing, her blue eyes bright and wide.

“I had to—or we wouldn’t have survived.” Lilitha nodded at the little sack. “That is yours, and yours alone.”

“I don’t want your money. I want ~you~.”

“You want a killer? Because I’m not going to stop, Clara. I know that now. I’m a monster—and you’re safer without me.” She gripped her knees. “I deserve this. I ~deserve~ this.”

Clara held up the sack. “How did you get it?”

“I’m not going to tell you. But there will be more.”

Clara raised her eyebrows. Then she lowered them. “You’re not whoring yourself, are you?”

“No!” But Lilitha choked on the word.

Clara threw the sack against the wall. Coins went everywhere. “I won’t take it. We’ll keep working. ~I’ll~ keep working, if you can’t. And we’ll sort this—this eating problem of yours out.”

“It can’t be sorted. I’ll do it again. Maybe—maybe I might even eat you.”

Clara snorted. “You’re trying to keep us apart. Why? After—after all we’ve been through together.” Her voice was thick.

Lilitha hung her head. “I have to leave. For your safety. For ~my~ safety.” She nodded at the sack. “They know. The person who gave me that knows about me. About what I am. If I don’t go back…”

“Then we run.”

Lilitha scoffed. “Run where? Back to Norfolk? On to Esteria? Like it’s so ~easy~.”

Lilitha stood. She went over and picked up what was left of the sack of coins and tossed it on the bed. “Take it. Use it. It’s the only thing that’ll make me happy.” She paused as her chin trembled. “I’ll miss you.”

“~Lilitha~.” Clara went over and grabbed her arm.

Lilitha looked toward the window. It was getting dark. “Let go, Clara.”

“No.”

“Let go! Do as I ~say~.” Lilitha’s Diablon voice seemed to shake the room.

Clara froze. Her blonde hair looked like a mop-head, dirty, the ends caked in grit. Her eyes were puffy with dark shadows around them. Lilitha felt a lift in her chest. She could make Clara happy. She could stop all her suffering.

Clara didn’t stop her as she left.

She was surprisingly dry-eyed as she made her steady way back to the Black Hound. She looked over her shoulder, but Clara wasn’t following. As she watched their inn disappear behind the bend she felt a deep swell of sadness—but she did not cry. Clara would be safe. She wouldn’t have to flog herself every day at the stables. It was a good thing. A ~good~ thing.

Lilitha paused as the Black Hound came into view. Several windows were flickering with light. Mandalay was somewhere inside waiting for her. Like a nightmare.

But he was strange. Different. Why hadn’t he attacked her like he’d done before? Then again, maybe this was worse. A lifetime of entrapment. He didn’t ~need~ to attack her. Not when he ~owned~ her. Poetic justice, she supposed.

Lilitha glanced up at the sky. Stars were starting to appear. She took a deep breath but could smell nothing of the distant forest. Her time with the Diablons seemed so much like a passing dream now. So far away.

She suddenly thought of Silus, and a wave of sadness almost made her burst into tears. What was he doing at this moment? What did he think of her? Like a knife in her heart, she remembered his look of dismay.

The door to the inn opened, and out walked Mandalay. He stood watching her, the last rays of the setting sun catching his hair alight.

With a shuddering breath, she staggered toward him, heart pounding, feet feeling numb. He watched her expressionlessly, arms folded, neither angry nor triumphant. What was he thinking? This new Mandalay was more terrifying than the old one.

“I’m back,” she croaked.

Mandalay swept his eyes over her, then stood aside. He followed her inside, his hand braced against the small of her back.

She managed to climb the stairs without tripping once, even though her legs felt like logs and her heart wouldn’t stop pounding in her throat. She opened the door to their room and paused upon the threshold. It looked so grim, even more grim than her father’s home.

With a gentle push, Mandalay encouraged her forward, closing the door behind them. Lilitha didn’t hesitate. There was no point in resisting. It was clear what he wanted. She went straight to the small bed, the slats creaking beneath her weight as she awkwardly crawled into it. Her mind felt disconnected from her body.

She just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. For several long moments, Mandalay did nothing. Her heart flipped in her chest at the sound of his footsteps. It plummeted as he sat down next to her. Lilitha kept her eyes locked on the ceiling, her fingers clawed into the mattress.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. Lilitha’s skin prickled at the feel of his eyes upon her. “I think I do love you, you know? Such a strange thing, since I’ve never really loved anybody.”

Lilitha felt him lean over. She tried to meet his kiss—~for Clara, for Clara, for Clara~—but turned away at the last moment. She tensed as she awaited his anger, as she awaited his threats. She could hear his breathing. She could feel his heat. Her body prickled worse at the feel of his eyes.

“You’ll come to love me soon, Lilitha.” He stood and walked to the door. “Have a peaceful night.”

The door locked behind him.